Disclaimer: I do not own Maria-sama Ga Miteru. Probably for the best. Yumi-centered harem, anyone?

A/N: Welcome to what is quite likely the kinkiest piece of work on this fandom. Okay. I'm just going to lay this out here at the beginning. I'm not sure what possessed me to do this. I was discussing with a friend of mine (one I conversed with on the more lewd content in Mask of Glass and Ciao Bella Sorella) about more ToukoxYumi stuff, and somewhere along the lines this was prompted. I'm almost expecting this to get flagged at some point. It starts out pretty tame, but… please be forewarned:

This thing will get dark. The first chapter will, as I said, be pretty tame. But each chapter following will have adult themes, including sexual situations, kink, and frickafrak (Fifty Shades of Yumi, anyone?). Each chapter will have warnings at the beginning detailing the kinks involved. If any of the kinks mentioned are a possible trigger for you: PLEASE do not read. Also, please no kink-shaming or flaming for the sake of flaming. Don't wanna read? By all means, I will not be offended.

This fandom is pretty polite about their critiques, and I don't get many flames or complaints, but I thought I would just nip this in the bud.

Hah. Get it? Bud. Roses. Dem puns.

Anyway, WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Making out and brief over-the-clothes action. (Like I said, it'll start out pretty tame, but escalate really quickly. Oh, just you wait, readers… just you wait.)

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Chapter 1

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It was cold outside.

That was unsurprising, really. It was getting later and later in December, after all. Getting colder was only natural. Not only that, but the days were growing darker, earlier. The cold, paired with the gloomy, shorter days just painted a wholly depressing picture.

Or maybe it was just my mood. Maybe my depressing attitude, made possible from my particular situation, just didn't help anything.

The situation was made even worse because I only had a light cardigan on. I had left the house with the bare minimum for this sort of weather. My leggings barely kept the nip of the cold away, and every time I stopped walking I began to shiver were I stood, my arms wrapped around my body to ward off the chill.

So I kept walking.

I paused at an intersection, waiting for the crossing light to turn green. Cars hummed along as I waited patiently, headlights flashing as they passed me. I averted my eyes, not wanted to get an eyeful of the bright light. In looking away I noticed a mother and daughter standing a few feet from me, their hands clasped, bundled up appropriately for the weather. The little girl looked up and her mother and smiled so sweetly my teeth started to ache.

I sneered in disgust at the pitiable sight.

How I envied them.

The light turned green and I stalked past them, determined to get as far away as possible. As I stepped up onto the opposite curb I peered back at the pair. The mother walked at a slower pace, with the girl totting along beside her, chatting about something her friend did that day. Turning back, I continued on my way, aimless though it was.

Really, my childhood had been a lot like that. My… parents… had provided for me very well. I was treated as a daughter should have been. My mother loved me. My father was proud of all my accomplishments; such as they were. I was everything Touko Matsudaira should be. Would have been.

But no. One couldn't keep such a thing the same forever. At some point, something had to give. At some point, something had to change. Eventually, the truth had to come out.

I growled to myself, my teeth grinding together as my heeled ankle boots clicked on the sidewalk. I knew I shouldn't have taken the news of my parents' plans concerning my grandfather's hospital as badly as I had. Considering the fact that, against my best wishes and hopes, I was not the true daughter of the Matsudaira's. Even though I knew for a while that this was true, I still had hoped to be the one to take over for my grandfather after he retired. I mean, if my father would not, then it would be either up to me.

And then my parents sat me down to tell me, in a way I assumed they though would be a relief for me, that they had found people to take over the hospital after my grandfather retired in three years, that I would not have to worry myself with anything in regards to that anymore. They I would be free to pursue my own goals and wishes, regardless of what they might be.

The problem was, that was all I have ever wanted to do. I wanted to be helpful to my parents. To thank them for taking me in, for giving me a home, and showering me with love and the skills to survive. All I ever wanted was to be needed, and useful to my family.

And they took that away from me.

I suppose it was my fault; I overreacted in response to years of, what I had considered, a negligible lack of responsibility on my parent's part to sit their daughter down and explain to her that she was not their real daughter. It had been their responsibility, and they had ignored that.

But, again, it was my responsibility to listen and accept that. Not to take their words and their platitudes and throw it back in their faces. I also ignored that.

Maybe we were both at fault; myself and my parents.

I had no way of knowing how long I walked, or how far my legs had taken me from my home. But judging from the cold, and how badly I was shivering in my shoes, it must have been an impressive distance.

Eventually I found myself in a suburb. The houses dotting the side of the road weren't particularly large, nor were they small. Clearly upper-middle class. The people living there likely had money and didn't like to spend it, or had enough to get by. Regardless, the neighborhood was nice enough, and I chose to continue down the sidewalk as opposed to turning back and wandering in another, just as aimless direction.

I passed a street corner, noting the name of the crossing. The name of the street tickled something in my memory, and it only took a moment of thought before I realized that Yumi Fukuzawa lived in this neighborhood. I entertained the idea of calling the older girl for a spilt second before remembering that, in my rush to leave home, I had left my phone there.

Oh well. She probably would be busy anyway. Not like I cared much.

So instead I kept walking aimlessly. I walked to ignore the anger I felt. I walked to forget the frustration, the shame and the disgust welling up in me at mine and my parent's actions. I walked to keep warm in the face of the cold, frosty December evening. I walked just because I could.

Not that it helped any of it. Not in the slightest.

So I kept walking.

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Yumi Fukuzawa's house was small – well, smaller than mine at any rate – but not uncomfortably so. It was your typical middle-class house, with all the trappings that entailed. Not that I ever had a problem with such things, at any rate. It was nice, and well-decorated. Pictures hung on the walls and on surfaces. Flower pots adorned a dresser near the entryway, and the smell of curry wafted through halls. It was a nice, warm feeling that floated around the house… no, the home.

Everything I saw since I entered Yumi's home – her brother whom had found me outside in the cold, wandering aimlessly around near a small convenience store… her mother, kindly regarding me as though I was one of her daughter's best friends… even her father, who had greeted her as warmly as one of his own children, even though we had just met at that moment – it was all too… perfect.

But maybe that was the problem. As she led me up the stairs and around the corner at the top, I couldn't help but feel slightly ill-at-ease as I climbed. Everything seemed so… cozy. Accepting. Like the house of a loving family.

It made me sick.

"Have Yoshino-sama and Shimako-sama been up here, too?" I asked, attempting to curtail my already prevalent irritation with idle conversation.

Yumi turned her head to glance down at me at we climbed the stairs, a curious expression on her face. "No… they haven't." She said slowly. "No one's really come over to my house very often." Suddenly, her smile returned. "You're going to be the first one who's been in my room since I started high school!"

That was… surprising. I stopped walking on the top step. "Not even Sachiko Onee-sama?"

Yumi sensed my tone and stopped as well, turning back towards me. "She's come over to my house before, but…" She trailed off, clearly put off by the frown that was most assuredly on my face. "She's never been inside my room."

Quite unsure as to why, my irritation increased at that piece of news. So now, suddenly, I was getting special treatment? Why was it that I was given this… privilege? The opportunity to be the first to enter Yumi's room, before every single one of her friends? What had I done to deserve this?

"Not ever Sachiko Onee-sama?" I breathed in slowly, and then released it. "Then I cannot go in." I declared, turning away and beginning my trek back down the stairs.

"W-wait! Why?" Yumi called out behind me. A moment later I felt her hand grasp mine, halting me in my tracks. I paused, blinking at the sudden feeling of another's hand on my skin. It was very warm and firm. The warmth I could attribute to me being cold. I was, as I had been walking outside for hours. But the firmness of her grip was what surprised me. Usually, Rosa Chinensis en Bouton was anything but determined. She was skittish, unsure, and always seemed to have an open face when dealing with an idea she was unfamiliar with. But here, now, with me threatening to leave, she had a look in her eye that I had never seen before. A firm, focused look in her eyes, and her jaw was set in determination.

It was… new. And I didn't know what to make of it.

I turned fully back towards the older girl, squaring my shoulders.

"How can I go up there if your Onee-sama and your best friends haven't even had the chance? It seems as though I can do nothing but refuse."

Yumi fidgeted under my gaze, but her hand remained tightly gripped around mine. "It's not as though I hadn't let them, you know. Is just that…it never really happened. Really."

"Why me, then?" I asked. The rest of my question went unasked. Why do you want me to enter your room, when you could easily have me stay downstairs, the same as your friends?

Yumi hesitated, eyes darting back and forward. From me, to over my shoulder behind me, to our clasped hands. I followed her gaze to our hands, and frowned at the feeling of irritation that had been looming over me all evening. Or rather… the lack thereof.

For some reason, at that moment, the dark mood that had been following me since I had stormed out of my house had lessened significantly. By all intents and purposes, I should have been still angry and uncomfortable. Here I was, in my Senpai's home after practically running away from home, taking up her time in her wonderful, warm, loving house, feeling sorry for myself. I should have been depressed, angry, and, for lack of a better term, quite bitchy.

But, as I stared at Yumi's hand around mine, feeling its warmth and the softness of her fingers, noting her well-kept cuticles, I couldn't help but feel the irritation I tried to keep stoked ebb, and slowly die away.

Yumi fidgeted again, bringing my attention back up to her face. She looked… slightly guilty. "Well… because it's you, Touko-chan." She finally said.

I felt my eyes narrow and my brows furrow at that nonsensical answer. Just what did that mean? Because it's me? So she wanted me to come into her room because I am me? Not her Onee-sama? That did not make any sense at all.

But…

I had to admit, it made the anger and frustration at myself die away a little bit more at those words.

Finally, after watching Yumi sweat a bit at my silence, I nodded curtly. The girl smiled in relief and tugged at my hand, intent on getting me to follow her again. I allowed myself to be pulled at the top of the stairs and led around the corner and down the hall. At the end we stopped in front of a doorway, and Yumi shifted uncomfortably on her feet, looking chagrined. "Well, this is my room…" She trailed off, perhaps knowing she wouldn't have to elaborate.

After a moment, her eyes flicked down to her hand, which was still holding mine. She blinked, and then let it go, as if suddenly realizing that she had been holding it for the past two minutes.

The moment she let my hand go, I felt the chill and irritation that had been with me all evening returning. She hadn't wanted to hold my hand after all, it seemed. It had just been a way to keep me from leaving. Well, it worked. And now that I was apparently in no danger of turning and running away again, it looked as though Yumi didn't want to hold my hand anymore.

That figured.

I quickly hid the scowl that threatened to show on my face as I glanced up to see Yumi looking at me expectantly.

"I'm sure it's lovely." I said, because I knew that's what she wanted to hear. She grinned and turned the doorknob, ushering me through the threshold. I dipped my head as I entered, and blinked as I took in the room.

I didn't know what I had expected when I considered the room; her white walls and orderly desk, few pillows littering her bed, a dresser, her closet shut, and an assortment of ribbons – most likely for her hair, as I also had – on a tree on her wall. Perhaps I was expecting, knowing a bit of Yumi's personality, her room to be a bit more disorderly. I felt a slight stirring of annoyance at that, slightly perturbed at having been proven wrong, but squashed it down so it wouldn't show.

Instead, I smiled pleasantly at Yumi, who stood fidgeting behind me, and said "As I said, it's a lovely room, Yumi-sama."

She seemed to wilt with relief, and scrambled towards her bed, grabbing two pillows. "Here! We can use these to sit on." She placed them on the carpet and scrambled around, quickly trying to put things away. A sweater was thrown behind her bed. Sewing supplies were gathered and stuffed into a bag, which was promptly placed into a box in the corner of the room.

As Yumi worked at clearing a space to sit, I walked around the room noting the different trinkets atop her desk as I did so. I noted a telephone, placed haphazardly next to an opened notebook. A long list of what looked to be phone numbers were on the page, and at that moment I knew exactly what Yumi had been doing before I showed up.

Somehow, Yumi had heard about me running away from home, and was calling our mutual acquaintances to find out where I was. I didn't give much thought as to how she found out – it had likely been my cousin, Suguru Kashiwagi, anyway. What concerned me is whom she had reached out to so far.

"Have you called Noriko-san yet?" I asked, my tone turning conversational, even though my irritation was commanding me to do otherwise.

Yumi turned to regard me, taking in where I was and what I was referring to. "Nope." She replied, not a hint of deception in her voice. "I haven't told anyone yet."

Well, give her points for being honest.

She paused in her cleaning to crawl over to a cushion on the floor, settling on her with her legs tucked underneath her. "I was going to… but then Yuuki came back." With you. The inference was silent, but all-too apparent. I had shown up, so there was no need to contact anyone else. I idly wondered if Yumi had called Sachiko about this at all.

"I see. Great." I said, meaning it. If Noriko was troubled by my situation at all, I would have felt pretty bad. Even worse that I was now, at any rate. She was my best friend, after all – I would have hated to worry her. "Who told you? Suguru Onii-sama or Sachiko-sama?" I asked as I sat in the cushion opposite the older girl on the floor.

Call me curious, but I wanted to know how many people were aware.

"Kashiwagi-san." Yumi replied, her hands at her sides. "Sachiko-sama had guests over, so she hasn't been told yet, I guess." I nodded at her explanation, somewhat mollified that at least one less person was aware of what had happened.

The girl across me watched me as I got comfortable. Once I let my hands rest on my thighs, she tilted her head to the side. "Wasn't it cold?" She asked, gesturing to my outfit. Underneath the white mohair cardigan, I only wore a red traditional one-piece and dark leggings. It wasn't a lot, clearly, and Yumi noticed how cold I must have been; probably from holding my hand earlier.

I ignored the flicker of irritation at the reminder of her hand leaving mine and put on a pleasant smile. "Yes, it was. I was walking for quite a while, after all." I said, just barely able to keep facetiousness from coloring my tone. "I ran at first, to keep warm. But then I got tired. After that… well… you can imagine."

"You walked all the way here?" Yumi asked, astonished.

I shrugged. "Yep."

There was silence for several seconds while we simply sat there, looking at one another. I watched at Yumi shifted her attention to my sweater, likely thinking to herself that the thing was far too thin to be wandering about in this kind of weather. She looked down at my legs, covered in thin stockings though they were, and after a moment averted her gaze, her cheeks pinking slightly.

I blinked at the sudden reaction. What was wrong with my clothing? I glanced down to where she had looked and saw nothing but my legs, thin as they were. My brow furrowed on confusion. I looked back up to see Yumi, her face turned slightly away, her cheeks still colored as though she had been caught doing something bad.

Suddenly, I realized it; from where the two of us sat, and how my one-piece was with my legs tucked underneath me, Yumi could effectively see up my skirt. Apparently, the older girl had noticed, clearly by accident, and turned away to keep from embarrassing herself or me. My first instinct was to shift my legs so Yumi couldn't see anything, and to ignore the whole mistake in favor of making idle, awkward conversation.

But, for some reason I couldn't fathom, the fact that Yumi saw, brief and unclear though it must have been, up my skirt, it filled me with the same feeling that I felt as though she was right in front of me, on the top step of her stairs, holding my hand, begging me not to leave. That she was there, wanting me to stay, so that I could see her room before anyone else; her friends or even Sachiko. Even if she knew I had run away, and was only keeping me here so that no one would worry, that she would do the same regardless.

That she was regarding me as someone unique— an individual. Someone different than the others.

Ever so slightly, even though she clearly wasn't hold my hand, the anger within myself I had been carrying with me, began to die away.

I felt better at once. Better than I had all day; the fight with my parents far from my mind… the knowledge that I was a false daughter of the Matsudaira's all but forgotten. The fact that I had wandered alone for hours, frustrated with my own uselessness and poor attitude as a child to live up to her parent's expectations, gone – dissolving as sugar cubes in a hot cup of tea.

All because of Yumi, and the warmth she filled me with. With her touches, and her looks.

I scowled at the sudden, and quite frankly pleasant thought that flitted through my mind and stood up abruptly. Yumi, startled into action, rose alongside me and stumbled, catching herself on the bed behind her.

"T-Touko-chan! Where are you going?" She asked.

"I should leave." I said shortly, unsure of the sudden, and confusing thoughts that were flying through my head. Myself and my parents. Suguru. Sachiko. Noriko. Yuuki and his parents. Yumi. Everything was crammed together in my head and nothing I could do would ever EVERY get rid of it. I would be stuck with these thoughts in my head, filling me with these doubts, for the rest of my life.

I would eventually reach an accord with my parents, of course. They were my parents, it was only right that I make up with them. But there would always be something there, something dark and afraid, hiding underneath my skin, with the knowledge that I am not really my parent's daughter. That my friends would find out. They would give me false platitudes, make nice and pretend that they cared for me.

Even Yumi, with her strange, new way of treating me, would fail to do so, and go back to treating me as a regular, ordinary person. A no-one.

"Touko-chan?" I heard from beside me. My head jerked around to see Yumi suddenly standing beside me, her hand reached out as if to touch my cheek. I stiffened, eyeing her hand warily, unsure of whether I should allow her to touch me or not. Eventually, she must have taken my silence as permission, and touched the tips of her fingers to my face.

Warmth spread across my cheeks from the point where her fingers touched, all through my face, down my neck to my chest, where it lingered, heating me from the inside out. It was comforting, and my heart started pounding all on its own.

Why… was this happening?

"Touko-chan…" Yumi whispered softly, moving her hand so that she wiped her thumb across my cheek, just under my eye. A wet, hot sensation made me realize that I must have started crying sometime. That was odd. I didn't even remember crying, even earlier today when I first left my house. I was crying, but at the same time I was not upset. On the contrary, I was happy. I was happy that I was here, being comforted by Yumi—

All at once, it occurred to me. The reason why Yumi made my anger and sadness drift away. The reason why she was making my heart pound and my limbs light. The reason why I felt tears slide down my cheeks.

On the stairs, feeling her hand grip mine in an attempt to bring me up to her room, where no one had been before. Feeling her worry as I looked around her room, wondering nervously if I would approve or not. And realizing that she actually cared about my approval about such things.

She wasn't treating me like I was a daughter of the Matsudaira's – whether that was true or not was beside the point. She wasn't treating me like I was simply one of her classmates. Like I was an acquaintance. Like I was one of her closest friends; even closer than Yoshino or Shimako, or even Sachiko. She was treating me like I was special. Like there was just one of me. Just Touko-chan.

I had never been treated like that before. And I had never— ever— felt this way before.

Before I even realized what I was doing, I had leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers.

Yumi stiffened predictably, as I'm sure I, myself, did. My eyes were closed, but I could feel that her hand shot out to touch my shoulder, but didn't push me away; it simply lay there, for lack of something better to do. Her lips were stiff and drawn tight, clearly caught off guard by my actions and unsure of how to respond. No matter, it had been a surprise for me, as well. After a long moment, I ended the kiss and stepped away from Yumi, opening my eyes to gauge her reaction.

Her eyes were wide as saucers, her irises as brown as I have ever seen them. Her lips popped open audibly as I pulled back, leaving her mouth ajar. The look of complete, utter shock on her face would have been comical in any other situation – but under the circumstances, it really was totally understandable. If I hadn't been so quick to control my facial expressions, I'm sure I would be matching her reaction in surprise at my own actions.

Oh well, too late now.

"T-Touko…chan." She murmured, blinking rapidly. She took a few steps away from me and leaned heavily on the wall by the door. "I…"

I sighed through my nose, wrapping my arms around my torso. I wasn't all that cold anymore, but the action served to comfort me – it had been since I was little. "Sorry…" I said lamely. "I don't know what I was thinking." That was a lie, of course. I knew exactly what I had been thinking. Being this close to Yumi, having her treat me like I was special, like I was Touko-chan instead of Touko Matsudaira, made all the frustration, all the self-hate, all the anger at myself seem a little bit better. Like drinking cool water after spicy hotpot. Or putting your burnt skin under a faucet. It felt… really good.

And I wanted more of it.

I shuffled closer to Yumi, my arms still wrapped around my body. I did not miss how she flicked her eyes down to my one-piece, and then my legs, lingering for a moment there, before finally moving back up towards me. I returned her gaze with one of my own, taking special care to make note of her jacket she wore, and her shirt underneath. Her jeans were tight, but not overly so as to make her uncomfortable in her own room as she relaxed at the end of the day.

I had already made the first move, and wanted to see what Yumi would do, if anything.

"Touko-chan…" Yumi said, her voice faltering. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Touko-chan, what are you—" She trailed off as I neared, quickly bringing her hands up as if to defend from an attack. At that, I stopped my approach. "I-I mean… I can't…"

"You can't, or you won't?" I snapped, already feeling my mood darken. With her out of arms reach, it seemed, and so hesitant to accept what I was willing to offer, there was no way to stem the torrent of anger and shame that threated to overtake me.

"I-I just…" She floundered, moving back and forward on her feet uncomfortably. "I don't know."

I felt my lips thin as I sneered, "Fine then. I should go." And mustering what little dignity I could, I stepped past Yumi towards the door.

"W-wait!" She said suddenly. She reached out and grabbed my forearm, wrapping her thin fingers around the sleeve of my cardigan. The feeling of her hand on my arm, and the warmth that immediately spread through my at the touch, chasing away the chill and sourness of my darkening mood, was so apparent and noticeable it almost gave me whiplash. I whirled around and seeing the desperate, wide-eyed look Rosa Chinensis en Bouton gave me, I felt something in me break.

I needed them all gone. The anger, the frustration and shame, the self-loathing at my own immaturity to fess up to my situation with my parents. It all needed to be chased away. If only for a few minutes. And Yumi, with her waffling, was doing her best to keep me from that. I had had quite enough of it.

Completely ignoring what noise we might have made after the fact, I snarled, shoving Yumi roughly up against the wall and pressed my body flush up against her, pressing my mouth against her so hard our teeth clacked.

I felt, more than heard, Yumi's squeak, and her hands pawed at me for a few seconds, but not quite strongly enough to force me away. Somewhere deep down, I worried at the fact that I was essentially forcing myself on Yumi. That this was wrong and I shouldn't be doing this. That this was the sort of things that ruined friendships, and that I should quit now before things got more out of hand. But as the older girl's hands stopped batting at my shoulders and slowly but surely began to grip the fabric of my sweater, tugging me towards her, the idea was tossed out the window.

I pulled away from Yumi, both to take a breath and to see her reaction. Her face was flushed, and her eyes wide. But the fear from our previous kiss was gone. In its place was that same determination she showed on the stairs, when she begged me not to leave, that she wanted me to be the first person in her room because I was Touko-chan.

My stomach squirmed at the thought, and I gasped as Yumi grabbed me by the front, pulling my up against her again. Her mouth met mine, this time with much less teeth and more lips. The feeling of Yumi's – Yumi Fukuzawa's— lips on mine was incredible; soft and warm, breath ghosting across me as she took a brief pause to breathe before continuing, tilting her head to the side so our noses didn't get in the way. I obliged, leaning in towards her to feel more of her lips.

So busy was Yumi with holding me close and kissing me, she barely noticed that I had moved my hands up to her shoulders and slipped her jacket off, so that it fell to her arms. She pulled back a few inches, her face flushed a bright pink, but moved her arms so that the coat slipped fully off and landed on the floor. The sweater she wore underneath was cream colored, and very thin from the feel of the fabric. I wondered if she even wore anything underneath it, but decided that such thoughts were not important enough to address at the moment.

Yumi tugged at my cardigan again, and I frantically shucked the thing, tossing it on the ground. I was pleased that the one-piece I wore left my arms bare, as I shivered when Yumi slid her hands down my shoulders to my biceps, clutching and pulling at my arms.

"Touko-chan." Yumi murmured, her lips bare millimeters from me as she breathed my name.

"Shh, Yumi-sama." I whispered, moving my lips towards her chin to her neck, kissing the skin there. The girl shivered in response, and I hummed, pleased by her response. "Tell me if you want me to go, and I will."

She shook her head, reaching around my back to clutch at my clothes to hold me close. "I don't want you to go. Stay." She said, her voice shaky. I nodded, again happy with her answer. She wanted me to stay. Me, Touko. Not Shimako or Yoshino, or even Sachiko or Kashiwagi. She wanted Touko to stay with her.

Me. Touko.

Being wanted felt good.

I wanted more. I needed more.

"Yumi-sama." I murmured as my hands roved up her arms, her shoulders, and down her front. The girl leaned forward, intent on embracing me but I pushed her back against the wall. Not giving her time to recover, I stepped in close and pressed my mouth to hers, claiming her surprised grunt as my prize. My hands, still holding her against the wall, loosened their grip only just enough to move slightly, so that they cupped the older girl's breasts through her sweater.

Yumi gave a choked gasp and jerked her head up, causing a loud 'thunk' as she hit hear head on the wall. She hissed slightly, but seemed to get over the shock readily enough, and reached out to grasp my shoulders with her hands.

"T-Touko-chan—" She gasped quietly. Her body lurched as I touched her over her sweater, my hands grasping and kneading her breasts. She was wearing a bra, apparently, but that didn't impede my actions very much. And from her reaction, it clearly didn't do much for keeping her from feeling anything. "I – Y-you…"

I paused in my attention to her breasts for a moment to pull my head back, regarding the girl seriously. I had probably overstepped my bounds by a wide mile, and was threatening our whole friendship. But, looking at her flushed cheeks, her mouth open, and her pink lips waiting for me to claim them again, it didn't look like she minded in the slightest.

But… best be clear about things.

"Yumi-sama," I said clearly. "If you want me to stop… to leave. Just tell me."

The look that crept into Yumi's eyes as I said those words, that determined look that made all the hate and sadness in my heart wash away, if only for a short time, was all too clear. Swallowing, Yumi shook her head. "N-no. I don't want you to go."

Smirking, I cocked my head to the side. "Alright, Yumi-sama." I started to lean back in to kiss the girls wet, pink lips, when a voice caused us both to jump, shattering the moment like a rock into a glass window.

"Yumi-chan! Touko-chan! Dinner!"

We split apart suddenly, Yumi hitting the wall with her back and me, almost tripping over the cushions that were still placed all-too strategically on the floor. I managed to right myself just in time and turn away from the older girl, my face burning in embarrassment.

"A-alright, mom!" Yumi called out, her voice brittle and warbling. She coughed and repeated herself, louder so that her mother would hear.

I stood there, in the middle of the room, suddenly feeling very exposed and alone. The warmth and pleasant feeling that I felt when I had been close to Yumi was noticeably absent, and in its place the loneliness and shame – the self-hate – was making itself known.

I just couldn't seem to rid myself of it, could I? No matter what I did, the feeling of frustration and anger at my actions just welled up in me, waiting to explode. The only time it seemed to get any better was when Yumi—

I turned to glance at the girl. She stood across from me, still up against the wall, watching me closely. Her face was bright red, but she seemed to be trying her best to control it. That was obvious, as she would have to show her face in front of her family in a minute.

"U-um…" She started, taking a step towards the door. "We s-should go downstairs for dinner. Or, you know, they'll just keep calling."

I stared at her for a long, silent moment. Would Yumi say something about what just happened? Would she give me some sort of sign as to what this was? What it meant?

But, as the seconds passed and neither one of us said a thing, my mood began to darken along with the silence. It seemed as though, from the way Yumi stood on the opposite side of the room, shifting her feet nervously, and avoiding my direct gaze, that she would most likely ignore what just happened. That, this thing… whatever this was… was over even before it started.

When it was clear that Yumi would not say anything, I nodded stiffly, my mood already bleak from the interruption.

Or the rejection.

"Alright. Lead the way, Yumi-sama." I said, forcing my tone to be pleasant and nonchalant. Unsurprisingly it worked like a charm, and Yumi's shoulders relaxed noticeably.

She released a silent, but heavy sigh. "Okay. Let's go eat. My mother's curry is probably the best you'll ever eat." She reached over, opening the door to her bedroom and leaving it open for me so I could exit.

Even I wasn't a good enough actress to keep the sneer from my lips when she stepped out of arms reach as I passed her to exit her room. At least I was fond of curry. One tiny bright patch in the black quilt that covered my life.

0 – 0 – 0

End of Chapter 1

A/N: Well! So here we go. I hope to, as long as people are interested (I'm fully expecting this to get mixed results from readers, as some people MIGHT not appreciate a good kinkfic), update this in tandem with Princess and the Sparrow. A good balance of content, you could say.

We'll see how people react to this thing, first.

Anyway, please let me know what you think of this! If you approve, let me know! If you don't, politely tell me once I have crossed the line instead of flaming or flagging this thing. I'm sure at some point, with what I have planned for Yumi and Touko, that some stomachs will be turned, no matter how many kink/squickfics you may read.

Even me, and I read a lot. A. Lot.

By the by, for those of you who like to count beats in a romance story: this chapter was Beats 1 and 2. Five more to go!

Anyway. Thanks for reading! See you on the next chapter!