Remus rested his aching head in his hands on the table in the potions classroom looking in dismay at his failed NEWT level potion. Sirius looked over chewing his lip.
"I'm sure you can do it again, you have time. You can use mine if you like."
Remus sprang to his feet, the temper that had been brewing for days finally getting the better of him.
"What's the point! There is none, I will never get a job at the minestry even if I get an O in my NEWTS, they will never employ a monster like me, what's the bloody point of even trying!"
He grabbed his bag from the desk and stormed out slamming the door behind him hearing the potion bottles rattle, feeling Sirius' eyes at the back of his head. As angry as he felt he knew he shouldn't have shouted at Sirius like that he thought as he dropped into the chair by the fire anger draining away and sickness replacing it.
Sirius stormed through the entrance to Gryffindor common room grabbing Remus on the way past. One hand grabbing his shoulder to spin him around the other under his chin forcing his head up to make Remus look him directly in the eyes.
"What the hell did you say that for!"
Remus couldn't look at the pain in Sirius' eyes so he looked away. Sirius didn't understand, couldn't understand how hard it was for him, to look at him in the eye, to be in the same room as Sirius, to have him care so much about him but in such a different way.
Sirius dropped his chin. He risked a glance at Sirius' face. There were tears in his eyes, pain, confusion and hurt. Remus felt tears pop in the corners of his eyes. He hated hurting his best friend, it was his main fear. Sirius looked up and cause Remus' stare. He turned away.
"Why?" he asked softly.
Remus tried to think of something to say, something to expain, but he couldn't. He could only stand there concentrating on Sirius hand on his shoulder.
Sirius looked at his friend, tryng to understand, trying to help in whatever way he could, but he couldn't. He dropped Remus' shoulder and turned to go to the dormitories.
Remus knew he should let him go, he knew it would be best for the them both to leave this fight where it was and let Sirius go, but he couldn't. He dodged around Sirius, blocking the entrance to the spiral staircase. He realised standing there that he was taller than his friend. He looked down into his friends eyes and realised he had to tell him, had to show him, what he meant to him, before it was too late, but he never got the chance.
Sirius realised then how tall Remus was, standing before him, blocking the entrance to the stairs, he had to tilt his head up to look at him. Remus' soft brown hair was falling into his eyes. Sirius itched to push it aside, to have it tickle his fingertips. He looked at his friend's eyes and realised, right at this moment, he was the only thing that mattered, the only thing that had always mattered. He brushed away his hair holding his hand to his friends scarred cheek.
"Don't ever say the again." He whispered, wrapping his hand around the back of Remus' neck and pulling his face to meet his own.
Remus was so stunned he forgot how to move. After a brief eternity of blissful closeness Sirius stepped back, his dark eyes alight with shock and ecstasy. Remus grabbed hold of the wall to stop himself falling onto Sirius.
"Promice me," he whispered again, "Never, ever say that again."
Remus rubbed his jaw in a daze, the whisper of Sirius' lips still prickling his skin. Sirius' shirt had become untucked and his shirt buttons were loose, Remus could see the pulse in his chest. He took a deep breath, held it, and slowly put his hand on Sirius' chest, feeling the blood pound and muscles shift beneath his fingers as Sirius moved his own hand to cover Remus'. The sob that had built up in his chest escaped and suddenly Sirius' hands were everywhere. Holding him, brushing tears from his face, fingers delicately tracing the scars and ridges of muscle on his back and chest. Remus shivered but could not tell Sirius to stop. He had wanted this too much for too long to ever want this to end.
Sirius stepped back, not letting go of Remus' hands. Remus choked out a question.
"How long?"
"7 years." Sirius whispered.
Remus hacked out a laugh and this time it was he who pulled his friend to him.
The next few minutes were a blur of breath, bones and bodies as they found each other's lips, then backed up against the cold stone wall pressing closer and closer together till they could breathe no more.
Sudenly Remus sprang away. His eyes wide, his shirt, usually neat and pressed, and rumbled and untucked. Sirius looked alarmed.
"What's wrong?" he asked softly.
"Charms exam in 5 minutes!"
Sirius cracked a smile that swiftly turned into a giggle.
"We have the map now; don't worry, we won't be late Wolfie."
Remus laughed as Sirius grabbed his hand, linking his fingers.
He now understood the point.