The heat of the flames licked at my face. All I could do was stare as the building crumbled. It was raining, I noticed. It felt like the rain were my tears. I fell to my knees as I watched the old Victorian house burn. I barely remembered that my family was beside me. I heard my mother crying, my father was trying to comfort her. But his own emotions were in the way. I felt what everyone was feeling at the time. But no ones pain was as bad as mine. I stayed kneeling on the wet grass, letting the rain fall down my face. I started dry sobbing. "Alice…."

Chapter One

Jaspers POV

I don't really remember what happened after the accident. I just know I wasn't myself. I don't think I ever could be. I stood, looking out the window to the field below. My mind wouldn't work, I just watched as my brothers and sisters went to their cars for school. I wasn't going with them this time, not for awhile. I couldn't. Al…SHE always was so excited about the first day of school.

She would spend all night looking for the perfect outfit. Even though no one slept, she would always say to me at lunch, "Why didn't you make go to bed? I was up all night!" My chest ached when her voice entered my mind. I wrapped my arms around myself. Now I understand what Bella went through when Edward left. It hurts more then anything I've ever encountered before.

I sat back down on my bed….our bed. A sob escaped my lips. I missed her. I missed my Alice more then anything in the world. It wasn't fair for her to be taken away from me. I heard a loud noise that shook me. I realized that it was me. My one sob began to turn in to a full blown break down. Not again, I couldn't take the pain.

I fell on to my side on the bed. I couldn't hold it anymore. I've held it in for days, waiting for the family to leave. I didn't want them to see me like this. I buried my face in to her favorite pillow. Her scent was faded but still there. I breathed it in deep. I needed her.

I laid down, keeping my face in her pillow. I couldn't stop my sobbing, so I just let it happen. I stayed like that for a good hour or so. I didn't have the strength to get up. SHE was my strength. Without her, I'm not sure I'd be able to stop myself from killing someone at the school. I haven't fed in three weeks. I didn't want to, not without her. She was normally my hunting partner, like she was in every other way.

I took one last deep breath, catching her scent one more time, before getting up. I walked around our….my room for a little bit, picking things up and setting them in different orders. I was trying to make the room seem more like me. But when I started to walk away, I had turn to back and put it back. SHE set this room up in a way that would reflect both of us. Finally, I got frustrated and had to leave the room.

I walked out of the room and walked down the hall to my study. Maybe if I read for a bit, I would be able to forget for awhile. I opened the door to my study and immediately closed it. On the desk was the most recent picture of our wedding day. I had forgotten it was there. I wouldn't be able to look at the picture without sobbing again.

I had to run, run far from the house for awhile. I went to the room and grabbed a few arm full of clothes, stuffing them in to a bag. I went to the living room and wrote my family a quick note, telling them that I'm fine; I just needed a few days by myself.

I grabbed my bag and ran out the door as fast as I could. I ran way past city limits, and in to the next town. But I still didn't stop. I ran all the way to the Canadian border, and stopped when I reached a forest of pine trees.

I stopped, and started setting up a campsite for myself. I gathered some twigs and bark and pulled out some matches that I always kept in my bag. I lit the wood and stoked it until I knew it wouldn't go out. Then I started setting up my shelter. I pulled out light green sheet and placed it on to two branches to hang for the night.

I settled in front of the fire and stared in to it, trying to forget everything.

Bella's POV

My family and I finally got back from school. It was okay, just as long as we kept ourselves busy. It was so weird to be in school without HER. I was supposed to have all my classes with Edward and HER. The empty seat next to me in my classes was a reminder of what happened.

I shuddered from the memory. I didn't want to think about it right now.

I bumped my backpack on to the floor near the door. Emmett went with Rosalie to their room. Rosalie hasn't talked to anyone since it happened. And Emmett has only said a few words. Edward doesn't play his music, or play the piano anymore. Esme….well, Esme just cleans all the time. Carlisle worked night and day. Jasper wouldn't talk to anyone. He stayed far from us. I wasn't sure if it was to keep his pain to himself, or to keep from feeling what we were feeling. Me, well, I don't really talk to anyone; Except for Edward.

I miss HER.

I felt Edward's arms wrap around my waist. I leaned back and rested my head on his shoulder. He nuzzled my face with his.

Emmett came down the stairs just then.

"Hey guys. I found this note from Jasper. Says he's going hunting; to be by himself." With that, Emmett went back up the stairs.

I sighed, Jasper seemed to want to be by himself a lot. I understand, but, I know Esme would want him home where she could look after him, if need be. Her wanting to watch Jasper was not unfounded.

~Flashback~

I was sitting on the couch next to Edward on the couch when he heard a loud thump. I jumped, not knowing what was happening. We heard a crash and ran up the stairs to Jaspers' room. Edward flew open the door and just stopped. I stood on my tip-toes to see over his shoulder and gasped.

There, I saw what exactly Jasper was feeling. The room was torn apart, clothes thrown everywhere. Mirrors were broken and vases that held pink roses were shattered, water running down the walls. The flowers lay broken in the glass. The crash that we heard was the ceiling lamp. It had fallen to the ground and broke. I started dry sobbing when I saw why the lamp broke, and the reason for the loud thump we heard. Jasper was lying on the floor staring up at the ceiling. A rope was wrapped around his neck and next to him was the chair he must have kicked when he was ready.

Edward ran to Jaspers' side while I called for Carlisle. Edward took the rope from Jasper's neck and leaned over him.

"Jasper? Jasper, can you hear me?"

"Jasper turned his head toward Edward's face. "It didn't work."

"What didn't?"

"The rope. I wanted it to work so bad. To see her again…." Jasper started sobbing.

I heard Carlisle next to me. I turned towards him and he looked at me and went to Jasper's side. He nodded to Edward who got up and came to me, blocking Jasper from my view. He wrapped his arms around me and took me to our room.

I sat on the edge of the bed, Edward in between my legs.

"Bella? Bella, look at me."

I looked up at Edward, my eyes looking in to his gold ones.

"Edward, he tried to kill himself."

"I know."

~End Flashback~

"Bella? You okay?" Edward's voice brought me back from my memories.

"Yeah, I'm fine." My voice sounded off, even to me.

Edward wrapped his strong arms around me, holding me close to him.

"I miss her too."

With those little words, I started sobbing. Edward held me close as we both last ourselves to the despire we felt.

Jasper's POV

It was still raining the next morning. I watched the raindrops hit the floor. It reminded me of the burning debris falling to the floor as we tried to run out of the building. I shook my head, trying to make the memory to disappear. I didn't want to feel right now and that would have made me.

The rain looked inviting to me. I got up from the ground and left my makeshift shelter. I walked out in to the rain and stood there, letting the rain hit my face. Rain was suppose to be cold, but I only felt it raining down my cheeks. I figured out a long time ago that vampires were the same tempture as rain and snow.

I continued to stand in the rain, but I don't knowfor how long. I closed my eyes, seeing HER face. She was smiling at me, her eyes shining brightly at me. I felt myself smile back at her. My Alice was here with me.

I remembered all the times we smiled, laughed, touched each other. Every memory felt like a stab in my chest. But I didn't care, I wanted to see her.

I didn't realize I was laying on the ground until the rain stopped. I was afraid to open my eyes. I didn't want her to leave again.

"Jasper?" Emmett called my name. I didn't move .

"Jasper? Come on, you gotta get up."

"I don't want to."

Emmett pulled on my arm. "Come on. Esme is worried about you."

"If I open my eyes, she'll leave."

Emmett was confused, I could feel it. Then it turned to sympathy.

"Jasper, Alice isn't here. She's gone now."

"No, she's not. She's right here next to me. Please don't make her leave." My voice was pleading.

Emmett shook his head and picked me up, putting on of my arms around his shoulders and one of his around my waist. He dragged me home, letting me keep my vision of Alice for a little longer.