The blond smiled as his girlfriend led him to the girls quarters. They entered the quiet room.

"Are you sure this is okay?"
"Oh, don't worry, Robin's on watch until 5 AM."
"Great..."

She threw herself on the bed, smiling mischievously at the cook. He smiled slightly.

"Are you sure about this?"
"Yeah, no problems."
He walked towards the bed, smiling more widely.

"Unless you think that me sleeping with Zoro is a problem."
He froze.

"Wait, what?"
Nami sat up.

"Don't worry. It was a long time ago. In fact, it was before I met you."
He sighed and lied on the bed, next to her.

"Fine."
He leaned over to kiss her.

"The only person I slept with recently was Usopp."
He froze again.

"What?"
She shook her head.

"Sorry. But don't worry, it's all over between us."
Sanji sighed.

"What next, are you going to tell me you slept with Luffy too?"
She smiled apologetically.

"You did? Oh, c'mon!"
"It was the day he saved me and my village from Arlong...I couldn't help it."
"Well...It's understandable."
He glanced at her.

"Did you sleep with any other guy on this ship?"

"...Well..."
He looked, astonished, at her.

"Well?"
"Just Franky! Chopper's just a kid and Brooke, as ironic as it is, can't bone me. He doesn't have a-"
"Nami, do not finish that sentence! And, you know, this isn't exactly the best time to make puns!"
"Sorry."
"So that's it? Zoro, Luffy, Usopp and Franky?"
"...Robin too."
His eye twitched slightly.
"Robin?"

"Uh, I'm bisexual. I hope that's not a problem with you."
"N-no, of course not..."
Both of them sat in silence looking at each other.

"Just by curiosity...Did you sleep with anybody else I know?"
"Uh,Vivi. Actually, we had a pretty strong relationship from the start to when she stayed in Alabasta."
"Right. I was kinda expecting that. So that's it?"
"Err, no. There was Paulie, though I almost had to rape him, that's guy's such a wuss. "
"Had to..."
"Almost. Also, Kalifa before we knew she was evil and stuff."

"Back in Skypeia, I kinda had a fling with Conis. And some guy in Foxy's crew."

"Some guy..."
"Yeah, I can't remember his name."
"You can't..."
"I'm sure there was a few others, I just can't remember."
Sanji got off the bed.

"You're not mad, are you?"
"Mad? Nami, you just confessed you slept with half the people we met on our journeys. And almost all the crew! What am I supposed to be feeling?"
"Sanji, let me explain."
"What's there to explain, you're a who-"
He stopped mid-sentence as he saw the tears on her eyes.

"Sanji, finish what you're saying and I'll never talk to you again, I swear I won't!"

The cook sighed.

"I'm sorry, I'm just...Why, Nami?"

"It was...I don't know how to explain it. I mean...I tried to have a relationship with Luffy and Zoro, but Luffy's so immature and Zoro's so...Zoro. And then there was Vivi...And then she wasn't there anymore and I guess I got out of track. And I swear, Sanji, I don't want you to be just a fling, I just..."
She let her head drop, still crying.
"Nami..."
"Go ahead and leave. I won't stop you."
"I won't leave. I just gotta deal with this. I want this to work too. So I won't leave you."
Nami smiled and looked at him.

"Thank you..."
He smiled.
"But I won't sleep with you either. That seems to get you a little..."
She laughed.
"Fine, then let's just talk!"
And so they stayed for a while talking and just appreciating each other's company.

::

Okay,that must've been the most demented fic I ever wrote. Although it was pretty fun to imagine Sanji's face as Nami is talking.