Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, but I do own Dr. Randolph Maxwell. This story was inspired by vjgm's story "Family Therapy Cullen Style" If you like Twilight and laughing out loud, I'd go check it out.
Spoilers for season 4, but I tweaked a few things.
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Bobby took off his baseball cap and ran his fingers through his grubby hair. He reclined his favourite chair and but his feet up, enjoying the momentary peace; the key word being "momentary".
"How many times do I have to tell you Dean? It's not what you think!"
"Right, give me three, no, see if you can give me even ONE good reason to believe anything you say!"
"I don't have to explain myself to you."
"See! See! That's exactly what I mean! When was the last time you said something honest, huh Sam?" The door burst open and both Winchesters stormed in, their faces screwed up in anger and barely an inch apart.
"What are you idjits shouting about?" grumbled Bobby, standing up.
"Oh nothing," shouted Dean, "except that my little brother who used to, you know, trust me, has been lying about using his psychic crap and getting freakishly strong even though he shouldn't even be USING his powers at all!"
"Let me get this straight," Sam bellowed back, "You're COMPLAINING because I've found a way to get demons out of innocent people without killing them? You're MAD because I saved your ass and killed Alistair?"
"No HUMAN should be able to kill a demon Sam!" Sam's eyes narrowed at the emphasis Dean put on the word 'human' and he was just about to retort when two new voices entered the fray.
"What were you THINKING Uriel?? You tried to release Alistair?"
"It was the best thing to do!" snapped Uriel, "See, I, unlike you, have a mind of my own!"
"Have you forgotten the price for disobedience?" demanded Castiel, "Do the names Anna and Lucifer mean anything to you?"
"Don't drag me into this!" interjected Anna, materializing in the room.
"Why shouldn't I drag you into this?" exclaimed Castiel, now sounding slightly hysterical, "You disobeyed! The worst possible thing an angel can do and you've given Uriel the idea too!"
"I never would have freed Alistair!" protested Anna,
"Wait a sec," said Dean suddenly, "It's your fault that Alistair almost killed me? What the hell Uriel???"
"Don't take that tone with me, Mud Monkey!" roared Uriel, drawing himself up to his full and impressive height. He towered over Dean who refused to back down.
"Shouldn't we be worrying about Sam?" asked Anna
"I'm not doing anything wrong!" yelled Sam, for the umpteenth time
"You're trusting a demon!" added Castiel, "Does that seem wrong to you at all?"
"Oh my God, you STILL don't trust me?" Ruby had appeared out of nowhere and was staring at the angels angrily,
"What do I have to do to prove myself? Throw myself at Lilith's feet and say "kill me?"
"It has its merits." Sneered Anna.
"You little-" Ruby began to lunge.
"ENOUGH!" The room fell silent and all eyes landed on Bobby. "That is IT!" Bobby growled, "It's bad enough that Lilith is trying to end the world, but I'm not listening to all this childish bickering in my house." There was an outbreak of babble from the assembled characters. Uriel even pushed Dean's face into the ground in an effort to be seen and heard better. Anna tried to push her way to the front by yanking on Ruby's hair, who responded by backhanding Anna in the face.
"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!" Bobby exploded. "I'm going to make you morons get along if it's the last thing I do!"
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"Um, hi." Said a very nervous Dr. Maxwell. Six pairs of eyes stared accusingly back. The oldest man walked forward,
"Bobby Singer," he said, shaking the doctor's hand. "Thanks for seeing us on such short notice."
"Dr. Randolph Maxwell," he said, gulping nervously. The bald man looked capable of murder, and by the look on his face, considering it.
"So," he said, clapping his hands, "Could I get all of your names?" The tall man with shaggy brown hair stood up,
"I'm Sam, this is my brother Dean," he gestured to another young man with short dark blond hair. Dr. Maxwell began scribbling furiously,
Wouldn't let brother introduce himself. Overbearing?
"Ruby," said the brunette female tersely. Not open to therapy. Seems bitter and angry.
"I'm Anna," said the red head, though her voice was a bit gentler. Polite, but on edge. Scared of bald man?
"Castiel," Man of few words. What is he keeping to himself? Gulping in fear, he turned his attention to the bald man,
"And you, sir?"
"I will turn you to dust," he seethed. Two words: Anger issues.
"That's Uriel." Said Bobby helpfully, smacking Uriel in the back of the head.
"You dare-" He was cut off when Bobby ordered him to turn around and pay attention to Doctor Maxwell. Uriel obeyed, but was still clearly wishing everyone in the room a painful death.
"Alright, now could one of you please tell me why you decided to seek out therapy?"
"Because Bobby made us." deadpanned Dean.
"He's our uncle." said Sam by way of explanation.
"And the rest of you…?" Ruby narrowed her eyes.
"I'm here because I'm being punished for my loyalty to Sam." Obvious attachment to Sam, investigate.
"I am here because I wish for my brother and sister to receive help," said Castiel earnestly.
"Your brother and sister?"
"Anna and Uriel." Dr. Maxwell blinked in confusion. "You don't look related."
"We're adopted!" piped up Anna. "Bobby took us in!" Bobby Singer, generous or mental? Ask about everyone's histories.
"I don't need to be here." Growled Uriel, "I know exactly what I'm doing."
"I don't need to be here either," said Anna sweetly, "but poor Uriel is in denial." Uriel's eyes got scary huge. If looks could kill…
"Alright, who would like to share first?" Sam and Dean pointed at each other, Castiel and Anna both pointed to Uriel, who jabbed his finger at Ruby. Ruby pointed back. Uriel, tense relations with everyone in the room.
"Anna!" said Dr. Maxwell, unwilling to interrogate Uriel right away. "Let's start with you." Anna smiled and folded her hands calmly, but her eyes kept flicking nervously between the doctor and Uriel.
"Well, I'm twenty-five years old, both of my parents are dead and I've been with Castiel and Uriel for most of my life." Frightened of Uriel, but stays around him. Possible abuse situation?
"How long have you been with Bobby?"
"I adopted all of them when they were in their teens." Cut in Bobby, "Anna was fourteen." Anna nodded complacently. He looked at Castiel and Uriel, "How old are the two of you?" Uriel simply glared, so Castiel answered,
"I am twenty-eight, and Uriel is thirty." Dr. Maxwell raised an eyebrow,
"That means that Uriel would have been his own legal guardian at the time, why choose to be adopted?"
"As a safety precaution for everyone else on the planet," sneered Dean.
Uriel turned his scary eyes on Dean,
"What was that, you filthy piece of scum?" Uriel's voice was deadly,
"You tried to kill me! Dean bellowed, leaping out of his chair. In seconds, Sam was on his feet as well,
"I knew it! I knew that there was something wrong with you!" Complicated bond between Sam and Dean, closeness hidden by all the tension. Wait, Uriel tried to KILL Dean? Must investigate source of anger.
Before Dr. Maxwell could react, Ruby was on her feet too, but she seemed to be yelling at both Dean and Uriel.
"I have done nothing but help, but I'm still treated like crap from you and these dicks with wings! And you still trust them over me!"
"You know exactly why I don't trust you!" snarled Dean,
"Right," sneered Ruby, "because these guys are SOOO trustworthy."
"Ok," said Dr. Maxwell again, rubbing his temples, "This could take longer than I thought. How about we divide into groups of three; Sam, Dean and Ruby, I'll see you first. Mr. Singer, please keep an eye on the others, make sure they don't break anything."
Bobby stood and pointed imperiously at the door. Anna stood up gracefully and walked out, Castiel had never sat down, and Uriel gave Dr. Maxwell one last glare of death before leaving. It rather reminded him of a shark, slowly sinking below the waves. He shivered.
Be sure to get a drink after this.
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A/N: I know I've been writing a lot of goofy stuff lately instead of updating my ongoing fics, but I'll get to them. It just hit me one day; if I lived through just one episode of this show, I'd be scarred for quite a while. After 4 seasons, I know I'd need therapy! Let me know what you think!
-Shooshkipoo