She could remember the night she'd first began imagining him; the night the thought had first occurred to her that she held within her reach the tools to end her unbearable loneliness. Sure, she had her many citizens she had already brought life to, but she had to care for them, not the other way around. She helped them with their minor problems, solving little issues day by day, and for that they gave her their unending affection. But it wasn't the affection she craved—because at the end of the day, after her dear Peppermint Butler bid her good rest for the evening, between the scraping and clanking of her lab equipment and the ruffling of her bed sheets—she was alone.
It was a night so many years ago that she realized this, and so shamefully many more before she realized that she herself could remedy it, as she does with all the problems of her citizens. She could still feel the excitement that had welled up from her chest into her throat. It had been so very long since she had even seen the depiction of a "man"—perhaps not a human man (long extinct), but a man all the same. With a body and limbs like her own, a mouth, a nose, ears—all the things she had, that her own and many, if not all, persons of Ooo did not. Well.. perhaps not all the things she had..
She had gotten to work immediately, unable to sleep from such building excitement. Her first ideas had been to make a Candy Prince for herself, someone just like her that could relate to her in every way and enjoy all that she enjoyed—someone who would be responsible enough to take control of the kingdom if something ever happened to her.
Those ideas were soon scrapped at the recollection of her first attempted heir—her gumbaby—that was far too sweet for her liking. The candy agents in its biomass were too sugary, and it wanted to show constant affection because of it, always attempting to wrap her and everyone in a smothering hug. Despite her loneliness, she wasn't one to want to be touched constantly—even if it was by a significant other. She had some reserves, but it was true she had been experimenting with a formula to bring candy life to something sour.. Perhaps a change of venue for her new knight? She had giggled at the idea at the time. Even though the sour biomass had thus forth remained untested, she set her heart on a sour, rather than sweet, companion.
She began assessing what exactly she wanted him to have. He definitely would need to be contained from rebelliousness—he would need to respect her, and follow her instructions. Still, she didn't want him to be a brainless oaf. No, no, her companion must be smart, able to hold an intellectual conversation, and yet not smarter than her, of course. Maybe a photographic memory, that could come in handy, and strength—yes, great strength and bravery—a must for a castle's guardian. She looked at her favorite traits about herself, assuming she would admire the same in a man. Intelligence, cunning, confidence, a regal approach, respectable—it was all there. With the mix of a hero's loyalty and strength, she couldn't have imagined then how her creation could possibly fail.
She went to bed after several days of planning in a daze, unable to keep a smile from bubbling up on her face. Soon she would no longer lie in this bed alone; soon He would be here to hold her, to protect her. A bitter sigh escapes her lips as she remembers how thoroughly love-struck she was with this nonexistent man. Her overconfidence had been her downfall. All the traits she had given him—even the ones she picked out from her own genetic coding—had turned out far from what she had hoped. Yes he was strong, in fact, stronger than anyone in the kingdom, but his bravery fell not far from reckless insanity. She should have attempted to bring life to a sour being before him. If she had, she would have known to line his throat with a sweeter tissue, to avoid his first taste from being so horrendously bitter, and to keep his voice from straining into the shrill cry she knows so well now.
She could still remember his awakening so clearly. Never had one of her creations screamed and flailed, and then when his eyes rolled back in his head—a pained expression overcomes her. How could she have known? Of course, the high pain tolerance she gave him allowed him to quickly regain himself, and even though she was still shocked by his first reactions to life, her past exhilaration had filled her again. There he was, right there! The protector, companion, friend and lover she had made for herself with her bare hands was right in front of her! She tries to not let her heart thud with the letdown after letdown she felt so soon after.
He looked exactly how she wanted him to, her knight. Unfortunately, his personality was far from the man she hoped he'd be. His regal stance and presence, though charming to her, was rude and cruel to her citizens. He would ridicule them, and they, being the sweet little beings they were, would only bow their heads and try harder to please their Princess' highest creation. She refused to stand for it. She had tried so hard to get him to act kinder, to be the compassionate soul she had dreamed of over and over again, but it was useless. The sour, lemon heart she gave him seemed to prevent him from the affection candy people can give so easily. He was a danger to her people, and before she could even try to love him the way she had envisioned for weeks she had to rid the Candy Kingdom of him. It was with a heavy heart she set forth construction on a neighboring castle, a castle she named Lemongrab, and sent her knight, now an Earl, away.
And then, again, she was alone.