Author's Note: As an assignment for my Writer's Craft class, we had to write a letter to ourselves from any fictional character. Being one of my favourite characters from Harry Potter, I thought it would be fun if my letter was from Hermione Granger. It's not a masterpiece, but I personally like it, and I think I (at least I hope) captured Hermione's character quite well. I hope you enjoy and I'd love any helpful criticism. :)
By the way, this takes place after the events of Chamber of Secrets.
Dear Chris,
It was extremely nice to have received your letter the other day. I'm sorry to hear you have a garden gnome infestation. I've read those things can be quite a bother.
So you lost your copy of "Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide to Garden Pests"? Pardon me, but have you gone mad? I cannot believe you lost it. What were you thinking? You are so incompetent sometimes; no wonder you and Ron get along so well! You must get a new copy as soon as possible!
Okay, the first thing you must do is find their burrows and pluck them out, or just grab them while they're wandering about. Then, whip them around as fast as you can so they get dizzy, and throw them far, far away! They'll get confused and forget where your garden is. I hear Ron gets them in his garden all the time. Not that I would know or anything… Actually, pretend I didn't write that.
Anyway, obviously that Lockhart buffoon was a bloody phony, as we found out last semester (even though he was quite dreamy), so don't be surprised if the gnomes eventually find their way back. You can try filling in their burrows. I wish you lots of luck!
I hope you're doing well and enjoying your summer. Mum and Dad send their love, and we all hope you stop in for a visit before next term starts. Mum cleaned the spare room, so feel free to come by anytime. I've also spoken with Ron and Harry, and they're looking forward to seeing you as well.
See you soon, Chris!
Sincerely,
Hermione Granger.
P.S. I fed your owl before sending it back with this letter, so it should make it there fine. Let me know!
P.P.S. Don't tell Ron I said Lockhart was dreamy! Just forget I wrote that!