I wrote this because my 3 year old cousin's dad works in Afghanistan and when he was speaking to his dad on Skype and was asked to blow him a kiss he said 'I have to do it really hard so that my kiss goes all the way to 'Gan'stan.' Sometimes, he's really sweet. (Also, something that welcometofightclub said about wars being solved by My Little Pony is mentioned) So in an AU verse but still keeping with the general way things were in Hetalia, Arthur and his wife Helen (who I've just decided is going to be Wales) live in Cornwall, Britain. They have one adopted son called Alfred, who came all the way from the USA. Also, since he's raised by Artie and Helen, he calls Helen his mummy, but he calls his 'other' mum his mommy. Thought it made more sense. Oh, and this is set about 2 years ago in modern times.

"Alfie?" Helen Kirkland called, while holding the phone between her shoulder and her jaw while she jotted down the date her husband was meant to be sent home on the calendar in the front room. "Your father's on the phone."

Alfred vaguely heard his mother's voice from where he was playing with some other boys on the pavement outside the house. Mummy said he was a big boy now, and he could play outside on his scooter with the other boys if he promised not to leave the street and came in when he was told. He was incredibly proud of his new freedom and made sure to obey every rule. Though sometimes, he might break a teeny rule, if Daddy wasn't home.

"I'm coming in a minute Mummy!" he told her and he pulled his scooter into their little front garden and next to the door.

"Hurry up, Alfie, it's late where Daddy is, he wants to go to sleep."

Alfred finished putting his scooter away and raced through the door and down the hallway to make up for lost time. He burst into the front room to see his mother holding the landline phone and talking to his father in a serious voice, which he knew had something to do with the nasty people who were on the news. Daddy kept telling him they weren't all nasty, but Alfred thought that that might be a lie, because nice people did not try to kill his daddy.

He hovered around his mother like a persistent little fly until she finished speaking and when he handed the phone out to him, he practically snatched it out of her hand. She considered reprimanding him, but let it slide. It wasn't like he was being malicious.

"Daddy!" Alfred screamed down the phone so that the blond man miles and miles away cringed and yanked the phone from his ear. "You haven't called Mummy for… 40 hours and she will be missing you!" Helen snickered at her son's accusations, and his terrible concept of time. "Are you ashamed of yourself and did you catch the nasty men on the news!?" Alfred demanded.

"Please stop shouting, Alfie, your giving me a headache." Arthur asked quietly, gritting his teeth. That boy was so loud.

"Sorry Daddy," Alfred apologised and asked his father again in a smaller voice; "So, did you catch the nasty man on the news? He's going to blow people up with a big nuclear bomb!" Alfred exclaimed (going off track) and exaggerating entirely. "I think I should put on my super hero clothes and lock him in the cupboard. It's very hard to get out of there and then there would be no more fighting and Daddy wouldn't have a gun and Mummy wouldn't get lonely. Also all the people on the news wouldn't die all the time." Alfed's voice got steadily louder as he rambled and at some point ended up talking about My Little Pony and giving copies of it to the Afghan troops. "And then they would all be too busy watching cartoons to want to fight anymore, and they'd all be saying girly things like 'Apple Blossom' and 'Butterfly Bum!'"

Arthur raised his eyebrows, and even thought Alfred couldn't see him, he could picture it by his tone of voice.

"I don't think there's a horse in that program called 'Butterfly Bum,' Alfred, don't be silly. But fair enough, that a brilliant idea. When you're an even bigger boy, you can become part of the government and you can put forward that operation."

Alfred beamed at his father's approval. "Well, why don't you just do that, Daddy? When you go fighting tomorrow, you can put the box set in a cannon and fire it at them." Alfred was totally serious, and so Arthur tried hard not to humour him.

"Well, you see, people don't fight with cannons anymore, just because you saw some at Alnwick Castle, and also, I don't happen to have a My Little Pony box set with me. In fact, you don't even have a My Little Pony box set. Next time I'm deployed, please remind me to pick one up."

"I will, Daddy."

Arthur smirked, but tried to hide it in his voice while he tried to weasel some information about what Alfred had been doing at school from his son. It was like trying to get blood out of a stone, as usual. Arthur often wondered if Alfred even stayed awake in lessons, but oddly, what few parent's evenings he'd managed to be around for, the school had said Alfred was fabulous.

At the point when Alfred was getting a little dry on things to say and started asking again if his father liked baked beans, Arthur tried to wrap things up. He did not want to get into the beans argument again.

"Bye Alfred. I will be home in two week's time. Do you know how long that is?"

Alfred thought for a moment. "Not really. Is it more than 60 hundred hours?"

"Okay, you have to go to school for 10 days, and then I will be home."

Alfred groaned. "10 days is a long time, Daddy. I might have grown another inch by then!"

"Well then I can measure you when I get back. Be good for Mummy, okay?"

"Yes, Daddy, and you have to catch Mr Ladiffy and put him in the cupboard, okay?"

"I promise," Arthur lied, deciding that Alfred needed to watch less television.

"Good. You have to give me a kiss, Daddy," Alfred told him.

"And how am I meant to do that? Post it to you?"

"No, don't be 'idiculous," Alfred complained. "You have to blow it, like a fairy flower."

"Oh, I see."

"Like this," Alfred demonstrated, blowing hard down the phone like, making Arthur feel like he had a tornado in his ear, and spraying spittle all over the phone. "See?"

"Yes, you just succeeded in sending me a sample of your spit via telephone. Very clever."

"Whatever, Daddy. You have to now."

Arthur sighed. It was all very sweet, but sometimes, he felt like he needed his manliness intact. He blew down the phone line gently. Alfred scowled at the device.

"Daddy, do it properly, or it won't get here, look," he said, and blew another gale-force raspberry down the line. "I have to blow very hard so it gets all the way to 'Gan'stan, see?"

"Ah, now I understand, you should have told me, after all, you are the expert on phone kisses."

"I am, now do it back, okay?"

Arthur obliged, feeling like an idiot, but he did it.

"Did you get it?" Arthur asked. Alfred nodded. "Yeah. Did you get mine, Daddy?"

Arthur paused for a second in mock contemplation. "Oh, yes, here it comes. It's definitely yours, it's all sloppy and smells like sugary porridge."

Alfred giggled. "Daddy, don't be silly!"

"I am not! See, look, I know it's definitely yours and not someone else's by mistake, because it's just like being kissed by a slobbery dog!"

Alfred fell about laughing. Even Helen chuckled, though she only had one side of the story. "Mummy, Daddy's being 'idiculous again!"

"Oh that man!" She exclaimed in mock horror. "Say goodbye to Daddy so that I can tell him to take phone kissing more seriously in future."

"Okay Mummy." He said, and went back to talking to his father. "Daddy, you are in trouble with Mummy for being 'idiculous. I hope you're ashamed of yourself."

"I am." Arthur responded solemnly. "I apologise."

"Good. I will see you in two weeks, Daddy, don't be late like last time, okay!?"

"It wasn't really my fault-"

"Okay?" Alfred repeated in his most dangerous voice.

"Yes, Sir."

Alfred snickered at the title. "Okay, I love you more than… all the tea in China!"

Arthur tried not to groan out-loud. Not this game again. "I love you more than…" Arthur paused in thought. What couldn't Alfred beat so that they didn't get caught up in this deadly competitive game. "More than all of the moon and the stars."

"I love you more than the-" Alfred countered before Arthur interrupted.

"Wait! You can't possibly love me more than the moon and the stars! You're so little, it's not possible! I win!"

"No, no! I can, I can, I'm a big boy, remember and I can love you more than all the tea in… Finland!"

Arthur and Helen both stopped in their metaphorical tracks. 'All the tea in Finland?'

"Alfie, China is bigger than Finland, and Finland is not exactly renowned for its tea, but I catch your drift."

"Okay Daddy, be careful and don't get on the news." Alfred told him, and Arthur knew exactly what he meant. Alfred had become obsessed with the six o'clock news and watching as all the names and the pictures were shown of the men who'd died at war.

"I won't." Arthur promised quietly. "Love you, Alfie. May I speak to your mother?"

"Um hum. Love you," he muttered, handing the phone to his mother and leaving the room to trudge up the stairs and sit on his bed.

Something about speaking to his father left him in a very quiet mood. Not that he was sad, or wanted to cry, but he didn't want to play outside anymore that day, and he didn't want to watch Cbeebies either. He just wanted to sit alone for a little bit, or maybe with Mummy, after she'd finished talking to Daddy. He didn't want to hear about the sad things she'd say.

He wondered what it'd be like if Daddy died and never came home. He supposed home wouldn't change much, because he wasn't there now, but still… Mummy would be sad, but she was always a bit sad. But she would be sadder. And he wouldn't be able to call Daddy on the phone. And Daddy would be on the news, and every one would know about him because he was dead. Alfred thought that something about that wasn't right. Everyone should know Daddy was helping now, right? Not if he died. Then it would be too late.

Alfred looked at his world map Daddy had Blu-taked to his wall. He looked for China. It was pretty big. There must be a lot of tea there.

Well, good. The more tea, the better.

'I love you more that all the tea in China' comes from something my grandma use to say when she was going to hang up the phone on me.

Cbeebies is fantastic.

I might do another piece to this with Arthur coming home. I'll just see how well received it is first. It won't be longer than a two-shot though.

Hmm, what do you think? I didn't want it to be too fluffy, but there's a lot of cute in there. I think it balanced out okay though. This is the first real Hetalia story I've written with any kind of character interaction, or indeed plot, even though it is tiny. I have one other AP-H one shot called the Great Nation, but it doesn't really count for much.

By the way, I am English, in case you were wondering. If there's anything anyone didn't get, I'd be happy to explain, though I think it was pretty universal.

Well, I'd like to hear what you thought. Thanks for reading.

~BS