Me: YAY!! Crack fic!!

Naruto: So why are you writing this?

Me: I get bored and I'm addicted to Mountain Dew, but my mom won't let me have it as much as I'd like to.

Naruto: Why Mountain Dew?

Me: Because it has the most caffeine and sugar and it kicks in really really really fast. Now say the disclaimer.

Naruto: Akuma owns nothing.

Me: And if I did I'd be drinking Mountain Dew 24-7. Nothing would stop me MWAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!

It was an ordinary day at Akatsuki, except it wasn't an ordinary day. Some random un-named fangirl was there. She was running around looking for some thing. Meanwhile Kisame was a very happy little fishy. Because you see he had been saving something very special something that the base had run out of for a week. Why they ran out you ask? Simple, everyone was addicted to it but everyone was too lazy to go out and get more. And that thing was…long dramatic pause…pause so long the moment is gone…I should probably get on with it…okay here it comes…MOUNTAIN DEW. Yes they ran out of Mountain Dew. Sure they had the Cocoa-Cola version, Mello Yellow, but it wasn't as good. If you compare them Mountain Dew is way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way (way times 12345678900987654321) WAY better. Any way on with the story.

Kisame lifted he bottle of Mountain Dew above his head and shouted "YAY!! I have the last Mountain Dew!!" And then his door fell. The random un-named fangirl kicked it open.

She said, "Give it!!"

Kisame looked at her with an adorable little confused chibi fishy face, "Give what?"

The random un-named fangirl looked at him with fire in her eyes "The Mountain Dew!! Now give it!!"

"No never!! I've been saving this for a week!!"

"But you guys ran out a week ago…"

"Well…"

Flash Back

Kisame looked around the kitchen because he was in the mood for a Mountain Dew. He looked in the fridge and gasped. "Gaspeth there are only two left! I shall drink one and take the other so when we run out I'll be able to drink it!!" So Kisame drank a bottle and took the other one and put it into his mini-fridge.

End Flash Back

The random un-named fangirl looked at him and said "…you!! You're the reason you guys are out!! Now gimme!!"

"No never!!" Kisame yelled then he started running around the room in tiny little circles, got dizzy, and fell over. The random un-named fangirl started beating him up into a pulp (even though he was already on the ground) just because it looked fun. And it was.

"YAY!!" The random un-named fangirl shouted and she hugged the Mountain Dew. And now many of you are probably wonder who's the guy that the random un-named fangirl is a fangirl for? Well, you'll see, it's gonna be pretty obvious.

Itachi came by and he saw the random un-named fangirl hugging the Mountain Dew. He had a plan. He walked towards her and she kept backing up. Soon her back was against a wall the appeared randomly. Their faces were only a couple of inches apart. He stared at her with such intensity that you'd think she would've fainted. She turned red and Itachi grabbed the Mountain Dew, but she noticed what he was doing, kicked him in the shin and ran away laughing.

Hahah you probably thought she was an Itachi fangirl didn't you? Any way, the random un-named fangirl ran and bumped into Sasori (he was in his normal out of the scorpion puppet). She fell to the ground and saw him. She turned bright red. Sasori helped her up and pulled her in close. He whispered into her ear "You should be careful…you could get hurt…" and then he disappeared.

The random un-named fangirl was bright red, red as a tomato covered in ketchup and, well you get the picture. She looked down at her now empty hands. Then she looked up at where Sasori was previously standing. Then she looked down then up then down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down. And repeats this for about five more minutes.

Meanwhile Sasori was in his room and drank the whole bottle (I know it makes no sense becuse he's a puppet…but I don't care.). Then his door was kicked down by the random un-named fangirl. She shouted "Give it back you damned puppet boy!!"

All he said was "You have to pay for the door…you know that right? And here…" He threw the now empty Mountain Dew bottle at her.

The random un-named fangirl looked at the empty bottle and cried. She cried so much that there was at least three-feet of tears in the room…don't ask me how they stayed…

"You know…you could go out and buy more. You're going to have to leave eventually."

The random un-named fangirl suddenly became hyperactive and latched onto Sasori. She said "But Sasori-sama, I'm going to stay here with you!!"

"Shit…damned fangirls…"

END

Me: Well, that's the first of many to come.

Naruto: Why doesn't the random un-named fangirl have a name?

Me: Because she's a random un-named fangirl…and besides I couldn't come up with one.

Naruto: That isn't a good reason.

Me: Like I care.

Naruto: Jerk.