Hello everyone and how are we doing? Okay well, no answers. I like that. Anyways I am sorry that I have not been updating my recent story but I soon will. Anyways I am making this new story because my friend and I talked it over on the playstation about our two characters being these two very stupid dumbasses in the galaxy. I do hope you enjoy Destiny and the names will be from our names on Playstation since we thought they'd be funnier. The Rise of the Chaos Dragon Slayer will be updated by next week since I have been busy. Ain't nothing gonna stop me from writing…except my mom, family, mercenaries, hot women. A lot of things.

Tower

All of the vanguard were gathered around a large round table in their hall. They were discussing a certain topic of guardians and how strong the darkness was becoming. "You do understand are numbers are short, yes? We need more guardians, or at least more experienced ones on the field of combat. The Hive are pushing into more territories and we are losing more guardians than the usual two or three in a month. I have received over at least 16 deaths this past month," the warlock vanguard, Ikora Rey, said to everyone as they all pondered this thought as well.

"I have to say it, but she's right. We are losing lots of good guardians out there. Have the ghosts found anything yet or are we still waiting for more guardians?" Cayde-6 asked as he set his feet on the table,, to lazy to even try to stand like the rest.

Zavala stood tall, but his face mixed with one of confusion and slight worry. "I believe I have a plan, but you probably won't like it," he said and soon pulled up his ghost. "Show the group files 25 and 300 please," he asked as his ghost soon floated in front of the group and projected a large screen. The screen showed two numbers from 25 to 300.

"We have two guardians who I believe can help, but the problem is they were placed in prison after their certain escapades, destruction, and possible insanity." He said with a face full of worry.

"Well if they can help why not call them?" Cayde-6 asked, yawning as he stared at the screen through his eyes. "They were placed under arrest at the Reef for breaking the treaty temporarily and killing innocent lives, blowing up over old land marks, and of course killing fellow guardians. These two are possibly the most idiotic of guardians, and possibly the worst guardians in all of history." Zavala said before footage showed a large exo with a titan build. He had two horns on his head as he looked at the camera.

"This here is the muscle of the duo. Capn_300. He is the stupid one, but also the strong one and has had his memory erased 300 times, thus gaining the title of 300." The group observed the massive titan and raised eyes. "He has been known for property damages, killing innocents, taking the lives of at least 200 guardians, and…has slept with the Queen of the Reef. He is also the only known being who has been collecting porno magazines from Earth's old times," Zevala said with a face full of shame. He was seriously doubting this plan already, but they had no choice. "He was placed into a prison due to his excessive force, destruction, and breaking almost all our codes. Now onto his partner," he paused and motioned for the screen to change.

The screen revealed another exo with red eyes and two antennas on both sides of his head. He had a smirk on his face and was laughing. "This here is Artia25. He is the brains of the group, the smart one and also the stupid one. He is a womanizer, a moron, and is responsible for the theft of Xur's weapons after he beat Xur into submission. He's also known to be Capn's only friend and these two have basically been partners. He is also known for his sex life with every woman he has met with, rumor has it that he and Capn ate a cabal and made it into a soup." He paused as Ikora stared in disbelief while Cayde-6 just flipped him off.

"I will now display an old video of them out in the field real quickly." He said and the image soon turned from Arita to an image of Earth's Russia. The place seemed normal before an entire explosion rocked it as two figures began running from it.

"DEAR LORD KEEP RUNNING MAN," Arita25 yelled out as he and the Titan ran from a huge horde full of hive thrall as they chased after them. "I REGRET NOTHING!" Capn yelled out, holding a magazine in his hands as he leapt over a piece of rubble.

"You had to fucking take the porno, huh moron!?" Arita yelled at his partner through the screen through his Ram helmet. Capn laughed before nodding. "BITCH PLEASE. They had a porno with them, and I regret nothing. YOU HEAR THAT ASSHOELS?! KISS MY FUCKING ASS YOU FILTHY WHORES!" He yelled and fired a shot from his gun, taking down three but not the other two hundred that kept following. Arita and Capn turned a corner before ending up right in front of a large missile that seemed in stasis. They both looked at it before at each other. "Capn?"

"Way ahead of you prison bitch." He said before going up to it.

"FUCK YOU!" Arita yelled out in range before going outside and ducking behind a piece of rubble with a large machine gun in hand. "Variks you're a useless pile of shit, but you're useful for guns you asshole," he said before lifting up The Chain of Orbik's-Fel. He laid it across a piece of rubble and flipped off the incoming thrall, their piercing screams ringing through his audio receptors. "HEY THRALL!" He yelled as the thrall stopped, curious as to what this human wanted.

"Go fuck yourselves!" Arita shouted before blasting away at the sons of bitches who came at him as he mowed them down with his machine, tossing a couple of void grenades as well.

"DONE! FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT!" Capn yelled as he set the bomb up and began running outside. Arita stopped shooting and ran after his friend who had his ghost in hand. "Alright Capn let's get the hell out of this shithole." He said as Capn just flipped off the thrall behind him. "Finally. Y'know it was totally worth that porno." He said as Arita soon took him and himself to their ships as the thrall stopped, curious as to what happened.

"THREE!"

The thrall stared in shock at what was there in front of them. A nuclear missile, full of nuclear shit, and would blow most of Russia into more chaos.

"TWO!"

One thrall however finally gained enough intelligence to say one word, one word that would change the history of thrall forever.

"ONE!"

"Fuck…" It rasped out before a large blast shook the camera, shutting off from here.

"Well that's the video and why they were put into a maximum security prison in the reef. I have to sadly say I want them here now. Would anyone care to object?" Zavala asked the stunned faces of Cayde-6 and Ikora. They both couldn't deny how fucking stupid were those two, all for a porn mag? However the results of destruction would help them out quite a lot.

"Agreed."

"Agreed."

"Well I will file the report to the Queen of the Reef later today. I just need a drink to ease out the pains of myself right now for what I am about to release."

The vanguard's left Zavala as he drank away in sadness, knowing he was gonna doom the entire galaxy to his guardians.

Hey guys. I hope you liked this short start up, but I want you guys to know that I am working on chapters for my other story on my ipad. Know that Natsu will rule the world! HAHAHAHAHHA! Anyways please be patient and I want to write a lot like the others. So I am hoping to break past 9000 words so that it can be longer and more enjoyable for you guys. Also I am Arita25, and CAPN_300 is my friend. Find us on PS3 and we will happily speak to you. Any ideas are welcome, and please, send your own characters if you wat. Just PM and I'll see if I can add your character to my story as a permanent guardian or just a small side character who appears every now and then. Enjoy.