Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
A KevLaur Story
Laura
"I can't believe that Abbot banished us back to our room. Just because he didn't like the fact that I'm not willing to leave without what rightfully belongs to me."
"He didn't banish us, Tracy. He told us that we could discuss it more in the morning. It is too late for us to be making any decisions tonight and too late for us to go anywhere in the dark with that large painting. Someone would steal it from us as soon as we left the monastery. Besides, we should be grateful that they are giving us a place to stay for the night."
I could tell from the way she paused to take a breath that I was getting somewhere with Tracy. She moved to sit on the edge of the bed and I saw her look at the letter from Edward again and her mind was instantly elsewhere.
"I don't know about you but I'm tired. Do you mind if I use the bathroom first to get ready for bed?"
Tracy had pulled her father's letter from the envelope and was re-reading it as she motioned me to do whatever I needed to do. I reached for my purse to get my cellphone as I had texted Kevin when we first arrived at the monastery to let him know that we were in a safe place. Despite his obvious confusion about my reasons for helping Tracy, he respected my need to make this journey with her; but, I was certain it was hard for him to have me traipsing around in another country. The time change and costs of phone calls meant that we were trying to text for the most part. I checked my watch and was tempted to place a quick call to him, if nothing else just to hear his voice. But then I saw he had texted me back to say he was meeting Mac at the Floating Rib for dinner and a beer and I decided I didn't want to disturb their time together. I texted him a synopsis of us finding the painting and Edward's letter to Tracy, and reminded him we were safe and in for the night. I had no sooner gathered my night clothes and toiletry bag to head into the bathroom than I felt my phone vibrating.
"Kevin, I thought we said we were going to text and try not to call each other?" I could see the smirk on Tracy's face out of the corner of my eye and she motioned for me to step out into the courtyard outside our room in the hopes of getting better reception. As I moved to do that I noticed that she had gathered her belongings and headed to the bathroom to give us more privacy.
"I'm sorry, Laura, I just wanted to hear your voice. And make sure you both were truly okay."
I smiled as I realized that Kevin and I had been thinking alike despite the distance between us.
"It's kind of late for the two of you to still be up." I knew that Kevin had set his world clock to our time zone before we had even left Port Charles.
"It has been a long day. We were both just getting ready to turn in for the night. I was glad to hear you were going to see Mac for dinner. Are you still at work?"
"I'm just finishing up my notes and about to head out to meet him."
"Kevin, you sound tired yourself. Is everything okay?"
"I didn't really sleep that well last night. I'm sure it had something to do with being alone in my apartment and that big bed. You know, you've ruined my ability to be alone. After so many years of being by myself I had my routines and could really enjoy my aloneness. But now, everything I do in the apartment seems to just remind me of you…or us."
"Kevin, you played Need for Speed without me didn't you?"
"Guilty as charged. How did you know?" I could hear the faked shock in his voice and suddenly felt a tinge of butterflies in my stomach. God, I really missed this man.
"Don't stay up so late tonight reading your book. Get some rest." I knew that my words were probably futile as he had a tendency to do things that weren't always healthy for him when left to his own devices.
"I'm hoping the beer will make me so sleepy that I can just come home and crash and then have pleasant dreams of you and what I plan to do with you for that homecoming you promised me."
"Kevin."
"Laura. Okay, all teasing aside I know you have to be exhausted and if we want to keep saving any money for you know what, as much as I hate to say it, I had better say goodnight to you."
"Goodnight, Kevin. I'm really glad you called me. It is wonderful to hear your voice. Thanks for understanding my need for this adventure with Tracy. I miss you and will hopefully be home soon."
"Laura, you are a good friend. Tracy is lucky to have you there with her. I hope she gets to leave with the painting her father left her. I for one can't wait to see it."
"Tell Mac I said hello."
"I will. Laura?"
"I love you too, Kevin."
As I hit end on the phone I felt the chill of the night air for the first time and stepped back into our room, closing and locking the door to the courtyard. I turned around to see Tracy with maroon silk pajamas on and a matching eye mask in her hand.
"Do you have a preference about which side of the bed?"
I was too distracted still from my phone call with Kevin to answer Tracy right away but turned towards her just as she teased, "Earth to Laura!"
"I'm sorry, Tracy, it doesn't matter to me. I'll be quick in getting ready for bed so that we can get some rest."
Thankfully Tracy didn't say anything else or give me a hard time about my call with Kevin; thus, leaving me alone with my continued thoughts about him and how good it had been to just hear his voice. I missed him more than I thought I would and hoped now that we had found Tracy's painting and she had some closure with her father, we would be able to leave in the next day or two and get back to Port Charles.
Once my bedtime routine was finished, I softly made my way to the bed, careful as I turned out the light to not make too much noise to bother Tracy. I'm sure she was as exhausted as me especially since I think the letter from her father was both a welcome surprise but also emotionally draining. I turned on my side away from her as being in a bed with someone else just made me think even more about Kevin and I didn't want to accidentally start spooning Tracy in the night.
"You've got it bad for him, don't you?"
I wasn't expecting to hear Tracy's voice and had thought she had already drifted off to sleep.
"I thought you were sleeping," I replied as I rolled to my back and stared at the ceiling. I noticed that Tracy had rolled on to her back as well and inched up her eye mask to give me a look. I took a deep breath and figured I would humor Tracy for a few minutes so we could get this discussion over with and get back to sleeping.
"Yes, Tracy, if you must know, Kevin and I love each other very much. I wasn't expecting to find this connection with another person so late in life, but if truth be told, it feels good to be happy."
"I remember what that happiness was like." Her voice was soft and had lost her usual edge. I watched as the shadows danced across the ceiling and waited for Tracy to continue. I had even prepared myself if she decided to talk about Luke.
"To be so happy and in love…to feel invincible and on top of the world. I had it in the beginning with Mitch and again with Paul. But the one I remember the most was the most dangerous and fleeting."
Tracy must have sensed my confusion and she now turned on her side to face me.
"Joe Scully, Jr. Joseph to me. He was so handsome and the most amazing lover."
Despite the darkness, Tracy must have seen the shock in my eyes as I willed her not to ask me questions that would be too embarrassing to answer.
I heard her laugh before she continued. "Don't worry, Laura, I'm not going to grill you about your sex life with Dr. Collins. Although…"
"Tracy. We really need to get some rest. Tomorrow will likely be a long day."
"Are you guys at least living together, for real now?"
Now that Tracy asked the question, I was on some level eager to talk to someone else about my current feelings and my hesitation, I just wasn't sure that this was the best time.
"Well, initially I was still trying to spend some nights with Dante, Lulu, and Rocco but then it just gradually became too complicated to move from place to place. You know, trying to remember which place had what clothes and belongings. So, we just kind of accepted that I would stay at his apartment all the time. It was easier than I was expecting; living with someone who was used to living alone."
Always perceptive, Tracy could tell there was more I wasn't saying so she quietly urged me to keep talking.
"A few weeks ago Kevin showed me this listing on the computer for a three bedroom ranch just outside the city limits with some acreage and a creek at the back of the property. He said he hadn't really planned to bring it up but he thought it might be nice for us to have our own home together. Plus, he seems to know how important it is to me to have a garden, especially with the weather getting warmer."
"You are going to buy a house together!"
"Tracy, shhhh…we can't be making this much noise this late at night."
"Laura Spencer if you shush me one more time on this trip."
Her tone was back and suddenly we both had the giggles. I had never thought it could be this much fun spending time as friends with Tracy Quartermaine. Finally, we silenced our giggles and laid there quietly in the stillness of the room for several minutes.
"Thanks for coming on this trip with me, Laura. It means a lot to me."
"You're welcome, Tracy."
"And just so you know, we are NOT done with this conversation. Don't forget, we have a long plane ride ahead of us on our return to Port Charles."
And with that, Tracy pulled down her eye mask and rolled over to face the wall while I turned to face the courtyard. I thought of Kevin playing football in the back yard of the house with Rocco, Cameron, Jake, and Aiden while I planted some day lilies for the summer. It was a scary thought but also a happy one. I decided that was good enough for now and held on to that image a little longer as I drifted off to sleep.
Mac
I was thrilled when my good friend agreed to keep me company for dinner and drinks while Felicia was off visiting Maxie and Georgie in Portland for the next week. It had been too long since we had a chance to catch up and the first thing I noticed was how well he was looking. His overall happiness and positive attitude was pervasive and we hadn't even ordered our food when I decided I had to give him a hard time.
"It's Laura, isn't it?"
"What?" Kevin acted confused as he hid his smile in another sip of his cold beer.
"Come on, Kevin, it's me you are talking to. You don't have to pretend what's going on. I already know. You two have been a couple for months now and if I had thought Laura would be interested in a guy like you, I could have fixed the two of you up ages ago."
"Well, I for one am glad you were wrong."
"Yes, who knew that the two of you would make such a happy couple!"
"Well we did start out as friends and really took our time getting to know each other."
I could tell that a memory had overtaken my friend and it was apparent that Kevin had feelings for Laura before they acted on them. Now, I was curious to know how they had connected after knowing each other for so many years and being in the same city without really crossing paths that much.
"How did the two you get so connected in the first place?"
My question lingered in the air while we ordered our dinner and another round of beer. The place was starting to fill up and I was glad Kevin and I had a spot out of the way from some of the noise so we could keep talking.
"Earth to Kevin. Where did you go buddy?"
"Wow, now that I'm thinking about it, Laura and I met to talk about what Helena left her in her will almost a year ago."
Kevin took another swig of his beer and looked at me before continuing.
"Sorry Mac. Just lost in memories. Laura had contacted me to help her break a code left by Helena. We have been so caught up in what has been going on with Lulu and Valentin that I just realized we haven't got back to what we started almost exactly a year ago."
"Well, I for one am glad that the two of you found each other. You both seem happy and good for each other. I wasn't sure you were going to survive what Lucy put you through a few years ago. That was a hard time and I'm glad our friendship survived."
"That was a hard time. I wasn't expecting to connect with someone like this again in my lifetime. I had stopped believing in love and relationships. But Laura…she brought me back to life."
I had to stifle my laugh because I didn't want Kevin to think I was making fun of him. It was truly good to see my overly intelligent and introspective friend need someone else and it was clearly obvious he needed Laura in his life.
"Well, I'm happy for both of you. Laura is a great woman. You treat her right or you will have a lot of people to answer to otherwise. You know we dated briefly years ago?"
I watched as Kevin choked on his beer as he was clearly caught off guard by my comment. Then I remembered that he was not living in Port Charles at the time so unless Laura had said something to him, he probably did not know about our brief dalliance years ago. It was for the best that it didn't work out between us as we worked better as friends and on some level, I did have to wonder if we were only together to get back at Felicia and Luke for what their relationship did to us.
"I can see how much our brief dating made an impression on Laura if she never bothered to mention it to you."
"No, I guess it just never came up. We have only really talked about Lucy and Scott in terms of respective exes and not even really Luke all that much."
I hesitated before continuing and just then our food arrived. The ribs smelled so good and I realized how hungry I was for the first time since suggesting that Kevin meet me for dinner.
"You know, that's a big deal to be the object of Laura's affection as I think a lot of people didn't believe she would ever be able to move on after Luke. Guess she saw something in you she liked enough to give her heart another chance."
"Don't sound so surprised my friend." Kevin seemed just mildly annoyed by my teasing and I watched as his eyes clouded over and he was clearly lost in some memory that I wasn't privy to at this time.
"Well you did follow her to Greece and then managed to get yourself shot protecting her. So, I guess that counts for something. Just be careful, buddy."
Kevin finished off one of his ribs, wiped his hands, and then started peeling the label off his beer bottle. I could tell there was something he needed to talk about and was determined to give him a chance to open up if he needed and wanted to do so with me.
"You know you can talk to me about anything. And it doesn't have to go any farther than just between you and me. Although, Felicia has been friends with you longer than I have and I'm sure she would be open to providing you a female perspective on relationships."
"Laura and my relationship hasn't been all smooth sailing. I messed up just when things were starting to go well and I guess I'm afraid of messing up again."
I motioned for our waitress to bring us another round of beers and encouraged Kevin to continue talking. I wasn't sure I had ever seen him so serious and contemplative. His relationship with Lucy had been fraught with ups and downs from day one that nothing seemed to surprise him whereas his fear of hurting Laura seemed to come from a deeper place inside of him. I wasn't' sure I had ever seen my friend so vulnerable and quite frankly, so much in love.
"I'm not sure how it happened," Kevin continued as he totally removed the label on his beer bottle and stuck it on the edge of the table, "but we came to the mutual decisions that we were going to officially live together. No more pretending that she was really living with her daughter's family and just spending an occasional night at my apartment. We didn't really talk about it and maybe because we were both afraid what that would mean with us officially taking the next step in our relationship."
"That sounds good, Kevin, I'm happy for both of you. Don't let other people tell you how to define your relationship. The only people that matter in decisions like this are you and Laura."
Kevin seemed to let that advice sink in and for the next few minutes we both just focused on our food. We talked about Maxie's temporary move to the northwest and how it was hard to be apart from her new husband but how much she was enjoying the time with her young daughter. I avoided bringing up Nina or her new husband as I knew Kevin was frustrated by the whole custody situation for Lulu and was probably glad for the break from discussing it with Laura while she was out of town. As we were finishing our meal, the lightbulb went off in my brain and I knew that Felicia would make fun of me for not figuring this out sooner.
"Kevin, are you thinking of asking Laura to marry you!?" My question had interrupted something he was talking about regarding the hospital and while I knew it was rude to interrupt him, I had just then connected the dots from our earlier conversation.
"Well, I'll be honest to say that the thought has crossed my mind several times in the last few months but I am just not sure that either one of us is interested in getting married again. You know, we have done that before, been hurt, watched our marriages implode, and dealt with the pain of divorce."
I continued to probe Kevin further as I kept feeling like there was something more he wanted or needed to discuss. "I'm confused then why you are so worried about making another mistake. It sounds like things are really going well between the two of you. Just because you made a mistake once doesn't mean you will again."
Kevin took another long swig of his beer and sat back away from the table before he finally continued.
"The thing is, I kind of feel like we are married already. Marriage implies commitment and a promise to be there for the other person no matter what. You know in sickness and in health, for richer…for poorer."
I motioned for him to continue while taking the first swig of my final beer for the night.
"I have no intention of going anywhere and I'm pretty sure that Laura feels the same way. We have been blessed to find each other this late in our lives and I truly can't think of anyone else that I want to grow old with as we spend time with each other and our family."
"Kevin, I'm still not hearing what the problem is and I think you and Laura should be talking about this together."
"Well, sometimes my heart gets ahead of my mind and the other day I showed her this listing of a house out by Route 33, just enough out of the city to give you some land and fresh air, and I'm afraid I got ahead of myself by suggesting to Laura that we go look at the property. She didn't exactly say no but she had kind of a 'deer in headlights' expression when I brought it up. It's just that I know she feels like she is in my space in the apartment and I would really like us to have our own space that we create together. And besides, she is always talking about the garden she used to have when she and Luke and the kids lived out in the country at the old Ward house. I just think it would make her happy to have flowers and a vegetable garden again…"
"Why are you looking at me like that, Mac? Do you think I got too far ahead of myself by suggesting to Laura that we buy a house together? Maybe that put too much pressure on her? Say something…anything. I'm counting on you to help me sort through this situation."
I knew I was being cruel to take my time answering my friend of so many years but I just wanted to savor this moment. It had been a long time coming with all the mistakes I had made when I knew that Lucy was cheating on Kevin with Scotty a few years ago. I was grateful that Kevin and I had made peace with that and continued to be such good friends. Now, I couldn't help but think that things happen for a reason and can't imagine my friend missing out on this opportunity with a wonderful woman, mother, and grandmother. But I also knew enough about Laura Spencer to know that deep down she was a traditional woman that likely felt the need for order and social custom. I watched as Kevin took another swig of beer, likely steeling himself for my feedback as he clearly worried his desire to create a future with the woman he loved had caused him to overstep in some fashion.
"Kevin, my friend, I think it is time you and I went ring shopping together."