Headfirst for Halos
A/N: I originally wanted to re-publish this story on Halloween but I had no time…;-; So much schoolwork…but on the bright side this is way better than the first Headfirst- it's a lot different in a good way. Enjoy.
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The bell on the door jingled thoughtfully as he rang it.
"Why didn't we just kick down the door?" Naruto whined.
Gaara ignored him. He half considered kicking down the large door and although he watched lots of cop shows and movies in which door kicking had been done he himself was inexperienced.
"We could of at least blasted through the door lock with the pistol," Naruto continued, as whining was what he was truly best at.
Gaara also considered that but he didn't know any more about lock blasting than he did door kicking so he rang the doorbell. And as Naruto tried to climb a nearby telephone pole, the heavy door swung open without warning.
"Gaara, what a pleasant surprise. Come in, come in."
He glanced at her coldly stepping inside the doorway cautiously, "Cut to the chase, Haruno, why me? Why out of all the people you've got around your finger," he paused to look up at me once more, "why did you choose me?"
She smirked, "Isn't it obvious?" she raised an eyebrow, "You've got nothing to live for, you're scared to live so now you will roam earth seeking death in the life you're afraid to live. It's as simple as that" She shrugged.
His eyes bored into hers emotionlessly, "I don't understand,"
"And yet I was speaking fluent English,"
"The only thing you speak is fluent bullshit," he mumbled quietly, "tell me why, Haruno,"
"Tell me why, Haruno" She mimicked.
"Haruno," He said warningly.
She sighed and lazily looked up at the boy, her hands on his shoulders, like she wanted to make them broader by doing so, "Do you really want to know?"
Gaara looked almost thoughtful for a moment, "Yes." He cocked his head, "that's what I'm here for aren't I?" he brushed off her hands.
"I felt like it."
And that's all she got out before there was a crashing sound coming from straight ahead, glass and splintering wood. Then Gaara saw a table go over in the next room and Naruto screamed, "FREEZE!" as he tried to leap over the fallen table, and rammed 4 inches of forehead in to a nicely trimmed oak couch.
Naruto landed flat and unconscious between Gaara and the couch.
"What the hell was that?"
Gaara closed his eyes and shook his head, "That's my," He paused, " friend, Naruto. He doesn't do this often."
She nodded her head in agreement, "You definitely don't see that everyday,"
"Yeah, I don't know where he found orange polyester," Gaara added, still shaking his head.
"That's not cotton?" She asked, pointing toward Naruto.
"No, it's polyester,"
"It's so wrinkled and the furry white thing makes it so confusing I thought it might be cotton, it's so cheap looking and comfy,"
"Well, I think maybe all that activity and it is cold-" Gaara started
"You tape him up before he does any more stupid crap like the stunt he just pulled here and," she interrupted, starting for the kitchen, "I'll make tea,"
--
"Tea?" Sakura said.
"This is the first time I've been served a hot beverage being taped to a chair," Naruto noted.
Sakura ignored him like anyone else with an IQ above .5, "Your right hand is free," she said in a motherly tone, "but I took away your gun and your knives because those things are frowned upon," Sakura scolded him.
"You are by far, the nicest captor I've ever had," Naruto said, beaming, taking the teacup gently from her.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Gaara growled sipping his coffee in the fetal position on the very wooden couch Naruto collided in to earlier that day.
"Nothing," Naruto scoffed, "You were a great captor too, don't get me wrong," he twisted uncomfortably in his duct tape-replacement ropes, "but you didn't serve me tea,"
"Shut up."
"Is Gaara jealous?" Naruto taunted.
"Shut up."
"Boys," Sakura said warningly.
"Sorry," Naruto pouted, "Gaara started it,"
Sakura chuckled and ruffled Naruto's hair, showing no sign of untaping him, "as long as your sorry,"
"Can you just get to the point?" Gaara said, irritably.
Naruto squealed, "I think Gaara's jealous,"
Gaara glared, "Remember who's taped to a chair and bound at my mercy."
Naruto shut up.
"Continue," He sipped his coffee, motioning for Sakura to go on.
Naruto emptied out the remaining bits of tea out of his teacup on to the rug, "I need more tea," he whined.
Sakura smiled "I'll get some more," taking the teacup daintily from his hands, "back in a second".
"I think she likes me," Naruto said dreamily.
"She has you taped to a chair." Gaara pointed out.
"Back," Sakura said cheerfully, "more tea for Naruto,"
"Thank you," Naruto looked up for a moment and paused for her to answer.
"Sakura, " she smiled, "call me Sakura,"
"Sakura. I like it." Naruto sipped his tea happily.
"Thanks," She smiled at Naruto, patting him gently on the cheek.
"Okay, now that you're done doting over the idiot can you tell me why you chose me?" Gaara said growing more impatient by the second, throwing his empty mug at Naruto's head.
Naruto squealed.
Sakura rubbed the spot where the cup had hit him, "You poor thing," she crooned, "I think it might leave a bruise,"
She glared at Gaara "Calm down, Dr. Love, just because you're a bitch doesn't mean you have to be a meanie too,"
"Yeah," Naruto agreed solemnly, nodding his head seriously in agreement.
He sent death glares all around, "Get on with the story,"
"Well," she said, looking bored, "You've always had an affinity for dead things, Gaara,"
Naruto gasped, and struggled to turn to Gaara, "You like to touch dead things?" His eyes got wide, "like get naked with them?"
"No, you idiot, I just liked dead things," Gaara hissed, looking around for more things to throw at Naruto's head.
"You're still a freak," Naruto commented, as if being tied up in a trashed apartment in a bright orange polyester outfit was the most normal thing to do in the world.
"Okay, I don't have anymore patience for this," Sakura snapped, "Long story short: You're death,"
"That doesn't explain anything," Gaara growled, taking a lunge at her, "I'm not highly skilled at bullshit so why me?" He pinned her against the wall, "Why me?"
"Your name appeared on my calendar," her voice shook as she spoke, "Gaara"
There was a long pause.
"Okay, I'm glad we got that settled," Naruto said, "But can someone tell me what the fuck is going on?"
"My name is Sakura Haruno and I am death. Every day in this world over a million people die each day. I, and others who share my job are the cause." She paused, "In two weeks I will die and I must die by the hands of my successor,"
Gaara only blinked.
"Gaara is my successor and if he doesn't kill me within two weeks,"
The room fell deathly silent for the second time in less than five minutes.
"All hell will break loose," She finished, smiling like she couldn't quite believe it her self.
"Well, fucksocks." Naruto said, glumly, a little in shock, himself, hardly expecting this of his new friend.
"Haruno," Gaara said, unfazed, "why can't you be just like everyone else and take the happy ending?"
Yeah, it's not supposed to make a lot of sense yet- this is the prolouge. I don't know what I'm doing but and I don't really like this verison of Headfirst either ;-; but do you like it? I really don't know what I'm gonna do with this, this is just the prologue and I sense this story will be a lot of work which isn't good cuz I'm a lazy person. It's a boring chapter, I know…Gomen.