A/N: Ok guys, this is (I'm pretty sure) my first ever AU Addex fic! It'll all become clear when you read :P Enjoy!
Coming Home
Part 1 of 2
~x~
"Sshh Addie it's ok" Alex whispered against Addison's temple as he cradled her in his arms "It's ok"
"She's so beautiful" Addison whimpered.
"I know" Alex said trying to hold back his own tears "It's for the best babe, you know it's for the best"
"I know" Addison choked "This is just, so hard" she sobbed.
"We'll get through it" Alex said softly "We'll get through it Addie, I promise, I love you"
"I love you too" Addison sniffled "I hope, I hope she understands, if, if they ever tell her, I hope she understands"
"She will" Alex said kissing her softly "She'll understand, we're just, too young to deal with this Addison, and she'll understand that, she'll get our letter and the picture of us, and she'll understand, she's going to a family who will be able to take care of her"
"I know" Addison whispered "Alex please, whatever happens now, just don't forget her, promise me that ok?"
"Of course I won't forget her" Alex said softly "We have the picture" he said quietly "We'll make two copies, one for me and one for you, we'll keep it tucked away somewhere, we'll never forget"
"Lily" she said quietly "I would've called her Lily"
"I know" Alex said softly "I told the adoption lady, she's going to tell them, they might like to use it"
"Maybe" Addison mumbled "I'm really tired Alex" she whispered.
"Close your eyes babe, I'm here, I'm right here, close your eyes" he said kissing her softly, Addison slowly closed her eyes and fell asleep in his arms, only then did Alex let his own tears fall.
~x~
18 years later.
"Have you heard?" Izzie said as she stepped into the attendings lounge where Alex and George both sat.
"Heard what?" George yawned.
"Derek has a wife"
"What?" George and Alex exclaimed.
"She showed up at the hospital last night, she's been called in for the TTTS case, she specializes in it, she walked right up to him and Mer and said, 'I'm Addison Shepherd, and you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband' how insane is that?"
"Poor Mer" George said softly "Is she ok?"
"Thrown herself into surgery" Izzie said sadly "We're gonna get her drunk on tequila tonight, apparently Derek and his wife are separated but, that is so not the point"
"Hi" Derek said quietly walking into the room.
"You're seriously speaking to us?" Alex asked incredulously "If it couldn't destroy my surgeon hands your face would have my fist flying into it" he hissed "You come in here from New York acting like you're gods gift to surgery and somehow make Meredith fall in love with you and you have a wife? Seriously?"
"She cheated on me with my best friend Karev!" Derek exclaimed "She is not my wife!"
"I don't care if she cheated on you with the whole of New York! You should have told Meredith!" Alex exclaimed back.
"I know ok?" Derek sighed "I know! Look, I love Meredith, and I will do anything to get her back, me and Addison are over, she's bringing me the divorce papers today and then it's over, so please, don't hate me, I'm supposed to be your friend"
"Yeah" Cristina said storming into the room "You are supposed to be our friend, so you should've told us about your wife, Meredith is devastated, you have no idea how much I want to hurt you right now!"
"I know" Derek sighed "I'll fix it, I promise I'll fix it"
"Good" Alex nodded "Well, I guess I should go and meet this wife of yours, if she's going to be working in my department and all" he said moving towards the doors, he walked out and made his way up to the OB-GYN wing.
"Nurse Tyler, have you seen this Shepherd woman around?" he asked approaching the nurses station.
"Behind you" Tyler nodded, Alex turned around and froze.
"Now when I saw an Alex Karev was running this place I thought it must be someone else" Addison said with a slight laugh "But it's really you"
"I heard the name Addison but, I didn't expect it to be you" Alex laughed "How are you Addie? It's been, how long has it been?"
"17 years" Addison said softly "Well, a little more than that, you look, old"
"You look old too" Alex chuckled "God it's great to see you" he said hugging her tightly.
"You too" Addison said softly as they pulled apart "OB-GYN and neonatal? That doesn't strike me as, your thing, I didn't even know you wanted to be a surgeon"
"I guess that was your influence" Alex smiled "I was all set on being the next big thing in plastics, but I got stuck on a OB rotation for months when I was an intern for being, a pain in the ass" he smirked "And, even though it took me a couple of years to admit it, I fell in love with it, and you, you always wanted to be a surgeon Addie but you, you're like, the best in the country, I didn't even think it would be my Addie Montgomery, you've always been published as Shepherd, I guess I should've worked out Derek knew you when he came here, I didn't even think about it"
"Yeah well, I don't think he did either" Addison said with a sad laugh "Alex just, I know you've heard his side of the story but, it's not as simple as that ok so, please don't think I'm some, adulterous whore or something"
"I could never think that of you" Alex said softly "So, I was thinking, I haven't seen a TTTS case in person before, and I've got no surgeries planned today, just paperwork and any emergencies that come up, so if I'm still free, how about I be your intern" he said with a slight grin.
"I'd like that" Addison said with a laugh "Well Dr Karev, we have a patient to see, here's her chart" she said passing it to him "Let's go"
"Let's go" Alex smiled.
~x~
"That was, incredible" Alex beamed as he scrubbed out with Addison later that day "You're, amazing Addison"
"Thanks" Addison breathed "That was, a tough case, I was worried there for a second"
"Well, you hid it well" Alex smiled "You didn't even falter"
"Practice" Addison shrugged "He started to ignore me" she said quietly after a second.
"Hmm?" Alex said looking to her.
"Derek" she sighed "About 2 years ago, he started to ignore me, stopped coming home, scheduled as many surgeries as he could, he just, wasn't there, and Mark, he was one of our best friends, he's known Derek since they were kids, I met them both in med school, everytime Derek wasn't going to come home, he'd send Mark to eat dinner with me and come to work events with me, he always sent Mark, and one night I just, I was so upset and angry and, then Mark was on my doorstep and I don't know why I did it I just, I kissed him, I kissed him and the next thing I know we're in bed together and then Derek's there and, it was just, awful, and now I've lost Derek forever"
"Do you really want him?" Alex asked as he leaned against the sink "If he could do that to you, push you away like that, do you really want to be married to a guy like that?"
"I guess not" Addison said quietly "It's just, he's been my life for over a decade, and I'll always have love for him, I just, have to let that go now, he loves someone else, I have to, accept that"
"I'm sorry Addison" Alex said softly "That it ended up that way, I'm sorry"
"Yeah, well, stuff happens" she sighed "What about you? Did you ever…."
"No" Alex said with a small smile "I've had a few girlfriends but, I've never found anyone I, loved enough, never found anyone I loved as much as I loved you" he said quietly "D'you ever wonder what it would've been like if we'd have worked it out?"
"Of course" Addison said softly "But we just, stopped working, we were young, we were going to different colleges and, we never would've worked through that, it was for the best, at the time, that was what was best"
"I know" Alex said with a small smile "Does he know about, her?"
"No" Addison said quietly "That was, my thing, our thing, it was just, too hard to talk about it, every year on, her birthday, I'd make an excuse to get away and I'd spend the day by myself"
"Yeah, me too" Alex breathed "It's in 2 weeks"
"Yep" Addison nodded "She'll be 18"
"Yeah" Alex said with a sigh, the both stayed quiet for a few minutes before Alex said "D'you, wanna go get some food?"
"Sure" Addison smiled.
~x~
"Why's Alex sitting with the She-Shepherd?" Cristina asked as she sat down in the cafeteria next to George, Izzie, Meredith and Derek, who were sitting uncomfortably next to each other.
"They're working together" George shrugged.
"They look, surprisingly comfortable together for two people who only met this morning" Izzie noted "He's kissing her cheek!" she exclaimed as Addison and Alex stood up, Addison walked out of the cafeteria and Alex moved towards them, sitting in the empty chair.
"You gonna explain what that was about?" Derek asked.
"Erm, ok, this is, going to sound insane, and it'll probably freak you out but, I know her" Alex said with a slight laugh "I've known her since high school, we were a couple for the last 2 years of high school, we split up before college started, she was like, my first love" he said with another laugh "This world is, insanely small"
"Oh my god" everyone seemed to laugh.
"That's, what, what is that?" Derek stuttered "That's, wow"
"Why d'you split up?" Izzie asked.
"We just, started to drift apart, and we were going to different colleges, it just, wouldn't have worked" Alex shrugged "It was a long time ago, we were just kids, and uh, just a warning, we have an attending on maternity leave for 6 weeks and, the Chief's probably going to ask her, but, she's not going to cause any, trouble or anything, and you" he said glaring at Derek "I think someone missed out a huge chunk of the story"
"The only part of the story was finding her in bed with my best friend Karev" Derek glared back.
"Oh so, you didn't spend the last 2 years at work instead of at home with your wife? She made a mistake, but she needed someone, and you weren't there, I know her, I know her and I know she wouldn't have done that if she wasn't on the edge, I think you really need to think about it, she deserves an apology just as much as you do" Alex shrugged "I have patients, see you all later" he said moving away from the table.
"This place is so insane" Cristina muttered.
~x~
4 weeks later.
"Hi, um, I'm looking for an Addison Montgomery" a young red headed girl said approaching Derek and Meredith at the nurses station "Or Alex Karev" she said quietly.
"Sure, are you a patient or…." Meredith started.
"My names Samantha Lily Jones, Sammy, I'm their daughter" Sammy said nervously.
"What?" Derek spluttered "Addison doesn't have a daughter" he said with a slight laugh.
"Derek" Meredith hissed hitting him in the gut "Come with me Sammy, I think they're in the cafeteria" she said gesturing for her to follow, Derek following behind them "That's them over there" she said pointing out one of the tables, Sammy let out a shaky breath "Is this, the first time you're meeting them?" Meredith asked softly.
"Well, apart from when I was born, yeah" Sammy said quietly "I have a letter and a picture of us and, that's it, I, I was 18 2 weeks ago, I knew I was adopted when I was 11 but, I wasn't allowed to meet them until I was 18, I just had to meet them y'know"
"I know" Meredith said squeezing her shoulder a little "Come on" she said leading her over "Guys" she said with a slight cough "Someone to see you"
"Oh my god" Addison said instantly, Alex didn't even need to ask.
"I'll leave you alone" Meredith said moving away.
"It's really you" Sammy said quietly "This is, insane"
"Yeah" Alex breathed "Um, please, sit" he said pulling out a chair "Uh, what, what's your, name?" he asked awkwardly.
"Samantha Lily Jones, everyone calls me Sammy, my Mom and Dad, my, adoptive Mom and Dad, they told me they kept Lily because, that's what you, wanted to call me"
"It was" Alex said softly, he turned his head when he heard Addison sniffle "Hey" he said pulling her into a hug "Sshh Addie it's ok" he whispered against her hair "It's ok"
"Oh god I'm sorry" Addison sniffled, wiping her eyes a little "This is just, I knew it could happen soon, I mean, I didn't think this, would happen, I didn't think you'd, want to meet us but, you're here and, you're, beautiful" she said with a slight whisper "And you're, our, our daughter, I just, I need you to know" she said wiping her eyes again "I need you to know that, I have never stopped loving you, I always think about you, I just, we just, we were, your age, we were 18 and, well, we had no money, my parents threw me out and took away any money I had the minute they found out I was pregnant, we just, couldn't look after you like you needed to be looked after but, we always always think about you"
"I know" Sammy said wiping a tear from her cheek "I understand, I really understand, I mean if I got pregnant now, I wouldn't be able to cope, I understand, all that matters to me now is that, I found you" she smiled "I found you and, I want, I want us to, know each other if, you want to know me"
"Of course we want to know you" Alex smiled "I want to know, everything about you, I mean, where do you live?"
"Well, we moved to California when I was 7, but now, I'm going to the University of Washington to study Psychology, which is, a total coincidence" she said with a slight laugh.
"You got your intelligence from Addie" Alex smiled "She aced every test we ever took"
"Well you must be pretty smart too, to work here" Sammy smiled.
"Well, I had a good study partner" he said with a slight laugh "Psychology huh?"
"Yeah" Sammy smiled "I've just always found it interesting, I want to work with children mostly, but that's, a long way off yet, I start in 2 weeks, I couldn't find much on either of you, the adoption agency helped me find you"
"Well, I was Addison Shepherd until a few weeks ago when I moved here" Addison said quietly "My whole surgical career I've been Shepherd but, well, I got divorced so…."
"Oh, well, I'm sorry" Sammy said quietly.
"Don't be" Addison said with a slight laugh "It's a long story, it needed to happen"
"So you two, didn't work out?"
"No" Alex said sadly "We stayed together for a couple of months after you were born, but we were going to different colleges and, after you, we found it hard to get back to what we were, we were only young anyway, we hadn't seen each other since, until a month ago when Addison came out here for a case, it was, a blast from the past" he laughed "But a good one, we've been, getting to know each other again, we spent your birthday together" he said softly "Not really doing anything we just, that's the hardest day of the year for both of us, we'd really love to know you Sammy, are your, parents ok with this?"
"Yeah" Sammy said with a small smile "I've known I was adopted since I was 11, I just, I knew something wasn't quite right, I don't doubt that they love me but, I always felt like, something was missing, and they ended up having a son after they had me, Jacob, and I just, I was nothing like him, I knew something wasn't right, so I kept asking, in the end they told me, said that when I was 18 if I still wanted to, I could find you, I have the picture and the letter with me, they gave them to me and, I kept them safe, I've got this little tin box I put all the things I want to keep in, memories, photographs mostly, I kept them in there, I've always wanted to meet you, just to see if I looked like you, I mean, I have the picture but, I needed to see you like, in front of me and, this is, amazing"
"It's more than amazing" Addison breathed "I guess, I guess I'm staying in Seattle"
"Were you not staying?" Sammy asked.
"I'm covering maternity leave for another 2 weeks and then I'm supposed to be going back to New York but, I can't leave now, I'm not expecting you to treat me like your Mom or, anything like that, I'd be happy if you just wanted to see us once every couple of months, but I want to be here, if you ever need anything, you can come to us"
"Ok" Sammy said softly "Thank you, I kind of need to hug you now ok?"
"Ok" Addison said with a slight laugh, they stood up, Addison's arms instantly moved around her "You have no idea how much I needed you to want to meet me" she whispered.
"Me too" Sammy said quietly "I had this dream in my head of what it would be like to meet you, I didn't know how you'd react and, now, I feel like, I've found the piece I had missing"
"Me too" Addison whispered against her hair "Ok, well, let me give you my number" she said pulling back a little.
"Here" Sammy said pulling her cell from her bag and handing it to Addison, Addison typed her number in and passed it back to her, Sammy saved it and handed it to Alex "I'll need yours too" Alex smiled and typed in his number before passing it back, he stood up and hugged her tightly.
"I'm so proud of you" he said cupping her face "You kick ass at college ok?"
"Ok" Sammy said with a slight laugh "Oh, one last thing" she said pulling a scrap book from her bag "I started to make this when I was 12, I wanted you to know what I looked like growing up, it's from the day I was born until a couple of months ago" she said handing it to them "I made copies of the letter and the picture you gave me and put them at the front, it's yours"
"Are you sure?" Addison asked as she took it.
"I have copies of all the photos back home, I made this for you, keep it"
"Thank you" Addison said softly.
"Well, I should go, I'm sure you've got work to do, erm, when's the best time to call?"
"Our schedules change a lot so, just call and leave a message and we'll get back to you, but we'll make time, I promise" Alex said squeezing her hand.
"Ok" Sammy smiled "See you soon then"
"See you soon" Alex smiled, he laughed a little when Sammy launched herself back into his arms, he kissed the top of her head softly, Sammy hugged Addison again before waving a little and leaving.
"I don't even know what to say" Alex breathed.
"Why don't we, go to the attendings lounge, look at this" she said gesturing to the scrapbook.
"Ok" Alex smiled.
~x~
"She looks so much like you in this one" Alex said with a laugh as he sat with Addison on the sofa in the attendings lounge, the scrapbook across their laps, he pointed to the picture of Sammy's 12th birthday, she stood grinning at the camera, posing in a 'Happy Birthday' sash.
"She has your eyes though" Addison said softly "She's got my hair, my bone structure, but those eyes, those are your eyes"
"She's so perfect" Alex whispered "She's smart and, funny and, she's everything I knew she would be"
"I know" Addison said dropping her head to his shoulder "I knew she could get in contact but, I didn't think she would, I thought, I thought she'd, hate us for giving her away, I thought she'd think we didn't love her"
"She's a smart kid Addie" Alex said squeezing her hand a little "She knows we gave her away because we loved her so much, she knows that, she's wanted to meet us since she was 11 Addison" he said with a slight laugh.
"This is just, insane" Addison breathed.
"I know" Alex said kissing her temple, they looked up when Izzie, Cristina, George, Derek, Meredith and Callie all walked into the room, they all stopped talking when they spotted them.
"I think" Addison started "We should all go to the bar, I need alcohol to tell this story"
"Ok" Callie nodded "Half an hour at Joe's?" everyone nodded in agreement "Ok then" she smiled.
~x~
"I was 17 when I found out I was pregnant" Addison said quietly "We'd been together for, about a year, we were that couple in high school who were never apart, I didn't have a great relationship with my parents and Alex didn't have one with his, we spent all our time together or with his brother and sister, I stayed over at his place a lot to help look after them. We were always careful, always, but, I guess one split because, well, obviously, I got pregnant"
"We freaked out" Alex said as he noticed Addison getting a little nervous "What 17 year old wouldn't freak out at that? Addison said she couldn't get an abortion, and I understood, so we decided to put the baby up for adoption, we knew we weren't ready to care for her, we were just, too young, we couldn't give a baby what they needed"
"My Mom and Dad threw me out, cut me off, I haven't really spoken to them since" Addison said quietly "They tried to get back in contact after I had the baby but, I told them to stick it, I didn't want to be back with parents who could throw their already scared out of her mind pregnant daughter out on the street, I speak to my older brother sometimes, not often but, enough"
"The pregnancy was, hard" Alex breathed "We got the name calling and the comments at school, we tried to ignore it but, when we couldn't, we'd just say, we're bringing a new life into this world, and giving her to someone who can give her everything she needs, that's all that matters"
"We got to spend an hour with her" Addison said quietly "She was, so perfect" she said tearfully "And giving her away was, the hardest thing I have ever had to do, ever, but I knew it was for the best, and, sometimes I hate myself so much for giving her up, but I just, had too, I couldn't take care of a baby, I was only just learning to take care of myself"
"We told the adoption agency we would've wanted to call her Lily, the couple who adopted her used it as her middle name" Alex said with a small smile "She's so smart and, she reminds me of Addie at that age, she's starting college in a couple of weeks, at the University of Washington so she'll be really close by, she wants to be a Child Psychologist, she wants to know us so, that's what's going to happen, we're going to get to know her, and we're really going to need your support"
"Of course you have our support" Izzie said squeezing his hand "I know what you're going through, you know I do" Addison looked at her with curiosity "I was 16" Izzie said quietly "Hannah, she's almost 20, at college in New York" she smiled "I call every couple of months, just to see how she's getting on, I know what you're going through Addison, so if you need someone to talk to, I'm here ok?"
"Thank you Izzie" Addison said softly.
"I can't believe you never told us" Meredith said quietly "How did you keep something like that a secret for so long?"
"It hurts to talk about" Alex shrugged "Still does really, like Addie said, giving her away was the hardest thing we've ever had to do, and those moments, in that hospital, they were our moments, and, we had to keep that to ourselves"
"I wanted to tell you" Addison said glancing at Derek a little, but still keeping her head low "I really did but, it was just too hard" she whispered "I just, couldn't talk about it" Alex pulled her into his arms as tears fell from her eyes "It's ok" he whispered against her hair "This is our time now ok, we can get to know her, and I know it's not the same, and I know you hate that you've missed out on so much and, I feel the same Addie, but we did the right thing, she's grown up and had everything she's ever needed, and now this is our time, she wants to know us, she wants to know us Addie, we just have to hold on to that"
"I know" Addison sniffled "God this has just been, the most insane couple of weeks ever" she said with a slight laugh "I'm gonna go, back to the hotel" she said finishing her drink "I might not be around in the morning, I need to make some arrangements"
"I'll give you a ride" Alex said standing up "We still have stuff to talk about"
"We'll see you tomorrow" Addison said with a small smile "And uh, thanks for listening"
"It's what we're here for" Izzie smiled, Alex waved a little as he followed Addison out of the bar.
"Addison" Derek said as he followed them out, catching up with her as they got to Alex's car.
"Everything ok?" she asked quietly.
"I, I just need you to know that, I understand why you didn't tell me, I would've loved it if you did, so I could've, been there for you but, I understand why you didn't, and, I, I'm sorry, for the way I treated you in New York, you deserved so much more than that and, I'm sorry, I don't know if I can forgive you for sleeping with Mark but, if you're going to be sticking around, I think, I think it'd be good if, we could be friends, if you want that"
"Of course I want that" Addison said softly "Me and you should've ended a long time ago Der" she sighed "I'm sorry for what happened with Mark, I really am, and I really hope, maybe one day you will forgive me, and you won't forget what we had, the good times anyway, so, friends" she said holding out her hand.
"Friends" Derek smiled squeezing it softly, he kissed her hand and gave Alex a small wave before heading back inside, Addison climbed into the passenger seat as Alex sat in the drivers seat.
"You ok?" he asked quietly.
"Yeah" Addison breathed "I really am"
"Good" Alex smiled.
"Alex can, can you stay with me tonight?" she asked quietly "I just, want to look through the scrapbook some more and, talk, if that's ok"
"Of course" Alex said softly.
~x~
"This is nice" Addison said softly as she lay with Alex in her bed, his arm wrapped around her, his lips against her hair.
"Yeah" Alex whispered "It still feels, the same, I didn't think it would"
"Me either" Addison said quietly "Y'know, I never asked, how are Aaron and Amber?"
"They're ok" Alex said with a small smile "We lost contact for a while, but we've been talking again for a couple of years, Aaron manages this truck company, he used to be one of the drivers but he worked his way up, he's earning a decent wage and everything, he's got a stable girlfriend, he's happy" he said with a soft smile "And Amber's just finished college, she wasn't going to go but she changed her mind at the last minute, she studied Art, she wants to work in New York in one of the big galleries, she's an amazing artist but she wants to work with other artists, I'm, so proud of her, after everything she's been through, they've both been through, they worked past it"
"Just like you" Addison said squeezing his hand "I'm proud of you too"
"I'm proud of both of us" Alex said stroking her cheek softly, he kissed her forehead softly "I missed you so much" he whispered against her skin.
"I missed you too" Addison said quietly "I don't think I would've got through this past month without you" she said quietly "It feels like, we've never been apart, but we're just, older and, wiser, I hope wiser anyway" she said with a slight laugh "But, it still feels, normal, being with you"
"Yeah" Alex sighed "I feel like that too, you have no idea how much I missed you Addison" he breathed "And I think, I don't think I ever stopped, loving you, I still feel so much, love for you, and I really think, if you stay here, that won't stop"
"What do we do?" she asked in a whisper "I can't lose you again, I, I know it was mutual, I know that, but, I didn't want it, and I know you didn't either, just like, just like when we gave Sammy up, we didn't want to do it, we had to, and now I just, this is all so, overwhelming, because I have you both in my life again and, I can't lose that, I've already lost so much and I can't lose you"
"I'm not going anywhere" Alex said softly "We're in a different place now Addie, we're working together every day, we're both earning good money, like you said, we're older and wiser, and I really think, if we tried this, tried, us, then we'd, work, I really think we'd work"
"Me too" Addison said with a small smile "Kiss me" she whispered, Alex smiled a little and gravitated towards her, their lips softly touched, Addison pulled herself up a little so they were level, the kiss deepening, their tongues moving together, Addison moaned a little as they pulled away.
"We've still got it" Alex said with a slight grin.
"Hmm, we do" Addison said with a slight laugh "Kiss me again, just to check"
"Ok" Alex whispered kissing her again "We don't have to tonight" he said quietly as her hands reached for his zip.
"I need you Alex" Addison breathed.
"Then let me take care of you" Alex said softly before touching their lips back together.
~x~
Part 2 of 2 to follow….