Edit: So I decided to continue this after all. Chapter one is pretty angsty. Chapter 2 not so much.

"I'm not sure this is such a good idea, Harvey," breathed Mike.

Harvey's mouth was tracing a line of hard kisses down his neck and his hands were roaming hungrily over Mike's chest. "I mean, we're both pretty wasted. How many cocktails did we have, Jesus?"

Harvey was now sucking at the base of Mike's throat and tugging at his shirt, needing the sensation of hands against skin so badly it was making his hands shake.

"Harvey, I…"

"Don't you want this Mike?" Harvey's eyes when he tore himself away from his efforts were blown with lust and Mike licked his lips. Oh but he did want this. Had done from the first day. But not like this. Not some drunken, meaningless fumble in a hotel room. He wondered whether Harvey was going to throw down a pile of bills on the nightstand, like the others guys used to before it occurred to him that he could whore out his brain instead.

He turned his face away, ashamed of the tears. He felt Harvey withdraw from him and the distance between them left Mike hollow with regret. But then Harvey was tugging at his hand and they were sitting on the bed and Harvey was looking at him intently.

"It's okay if this isn't what you want," he said carefully, "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

Mike shook his head, scrubbing at his eyes. "You don't understand, Harvey."

"No, you're right, I don't. Not unless you tell me." Harvey caught Mike's hands in his own and gently pulled them away from his face. "Mike?"

"It's not that I don't want you. Jesus, you have no idea how much I want this."

"So what's the problem?"

Mike suddenly felt gauche and ridiculous and out of his depth and he jumped up from the bed, brushing off Harvey's hands angrily.

"Let's just forget this, okay? I'll go back to my room and we can act like this never happened. It's not as if it meant anything anyway."

He was half way to the door when Harvey spoke behind him. "It would have to me." There was hurt and surprise in his voice.

Mike didn't turn around. Couldn't. Couldn't let Harvey see what was so obviously written on his face; hope, desire, want. Love. He took a deep breath, knowing now what he should do next. What he should say.

"Yeah? Well, it wouldn't to me. Goodnight Harvey."

He opened the hotel room door without looking back and walked out of the room.