Rooftop Lullaby
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| A teenage boy tossed in his sleep, or lack of sleep that is. He |
|slapped his |
alarm clock so that a neon light showed him the time 2:05. He grumbled, and tossed some more. Eventually he threw his pillow clear across the room in his frustration.
He cursed to himself slightly under his breath. He wasn't angry over his loss of sleep; he had gone many nights before without any. His frustration derived from what was keeping him up. After pondering for a moment, fighting with himself not to give in to his weakness, he lost the battle and threw his covers off. As his feet met with cold floor he gave another slight cures, this time in a foreign language to the land of Japan. He had become so accustomed to hiding his excessive swearing from her in this manner that it had become a habit.
He parted the curtain slightly, cursing once again as the moon's full moon caused his eyes to need adjusting. Finally he parted the curtain fully. He looked to where he knew he would find what he was looking for. And sure enough there she was, sitting perched on her roof, staring at the moon as it passed further and further from her toward the horizon.
His grip on the curtain loosened, and his feet relaxed on the cold floor. He had seen this sight many nights before, but he never ceased to be amazed of her picturesque pose on the roof. Her knees were pulled in tight to her chest and her arms held he head atop her knees. Especially in the full moon he could see her intense look toward the moon, she seemed to be asking the moon for the meanings of life, for the answers to all her questions, and she would not give up her staring contest until answers were won.
He looked out at her and frantically tussled his unruly chocolate hair. He knew from her look that he too would not be sleeping until she got answers. He grew angry at his weakness, any normal soldier of the Li clan could fall asleep at the drop of a hat, and still remain alert to even the dropping of feather. But no, not he, he had to come here and live next to her. He blamed her for his ruining, and yet somehow he loved her to the point that his heart ached with hers.
His love for her was the caused to all his sleepless nights. Tonight he couldn't stand it anymore; he walked a few determined steps toward his closet. Then he stopped, starring at his closet as if going to it was the same as walking on a bed of fire. He tussled his hair again. He looked himself in the mirror on his closet door and as amber met amber he took the last few steps to the closet, flung it open and grabbed a jacket out.
He perched at the windowsill, as a cat ready to pounce on the ground below his second story window, he took one last glance at her. His glance showed a slight shiver in her silhouette. He looked back into the room with the dread that if he went back he would never have the courage to get back to where he was again. Quickly he retreated, and grabbed a blanket, big enough to cover both of them he realized with a blush. Shaking his head frantically and fighting with his hair once again.
He made it to the windowsill once again, and pounced on the ground below. From there he quickly made his way across to the tree that they had both used so often to sneak out and in, beyond the guard dog- man named onii-chan. From here he swiftly jumped upon the roof, but with such silence that she didn't even flinch from here perch. He had never seen her roof sitting from this close before. Now he pondered how the moon could possibly not relinquish all its information to her, her stare was so intense that he would have broken down in minutes. He reminded himself that that was probably due to the fact that he loved her and that she made his knees go weak as those cliché movie stars he hated always did.
He knew he was going to startle her so he said her name as soothingly as he possibly could, "Sakura?."
She jumped a little as he had predicted, her aura automatically flared, but when she felt his she calmed. Without even turning around she whispered, "Syaoran." Her voice seemed upset that he was there, he automatically regretted being there, he swore under his breath once again in Cantonese.
"You really shouldn't swear so much Syaoran." she scolded quietly; she still hadn't turned from her contest with the moon.
"How." he gaped astonished at the fact that she could somehow know that he was swearing.
"I know you, that's how." She responded to his unfinished question. Her cold tone scared him, he had never heard her so intense. He summed up all his courage and walked closer to her to drape the blanket over her shoulders. She suddenly seemed to realize that he was there, and smiled slightly up at him.
"Why are you still up? It must be at least 1 in the morning." she asked concerned. He smiled a bit at he lack of notice that she was up as well.
"Actually it's 2," he replied "Why are you still up?"
"I." she paused, calculating a lie, he could always tell when she was lying, "I just have a lot on my mind."
"Only a half lie" he replied. He could feel her anger flare at this. Whatever was bothering her must have been very serious to cause this much of a character change.
With anger in her voice she accused, "You still haven't answered my question."
"I didn't need to," he replied and looked at the moon with a dramatic pause that he knew would be enough to calm her nerves, "You already did."
"How?" she replied confusion now replacing her anger.
"You told me why you can't sleep, thus my reason for not being able to sleep is the same."
"How" she questioned again after staring at the moon for a minute, searching for the answer.
"Simple, I can't sleep when you can't sleep" he replied, purposely looking away from her face. She looked directly at him, and he directly at the moon. She knew he was telling the truth now. She flung half of the blanket over him.
"How do you know when I can't sleep?" she asked quietly.
"You don't sing" he replied matter-of-factly
She looked a little shocked. "Do I really sing that loud.? The whole neighborhood must hate me; I didn't realize I was so loud." she became nervous.
"You don't sing loudly, no one can hear." He replied once again in a matter of fact voice. She looked at him slightly. She was visibly confused.
"How can you hear me then?" she questioned.
"I heard you once, when the wind was blowing. I feel asleep much easier and had the best sleep I had had in years. I tried to listen other nights, but there was no wind. I didn't sleep for a couple of days. The cards felt my distress; so one night after you were asleep they came to me and offered their aid. The song and wind card have been helping me ever since. Only now it's like some sleeping pill that got me hooked, I can't sleep unless you sing. And when you don't sing it's because you aren't sleeping. So basically when you don't sleep, I don't sleep." He told her in a soothing voice while staring at the moon.
At the end of his speech she didn't reply, she merely scooted closer to him, pulled the blanket closer and laid her head on his shoulder. He blushed a little and looked down at her as she now stared off into the sun. He felt relief that she hadn't been mad at him for using the cards against her permission, and had listened in on her private singing for months.
He spoke quietly, "The cards made me promise something to them in exchange for their service." He paused; her silence was taken as a sign to continue. "I promised them I would look out for you, and help you through the problems you face. Your cards wished they could do it all themselves, but they felt that I might be useful as a messenger. I think they may have finally been able to forgive me for trying to take them away from you so many years ago." He felt her giggle a little at his side. "So let me help you with whatever it is that you are interrogating poor Mr. Moon about."
She didn't look up, instead she shifted away from him slightly. He wrapped his arm around her and gently pulled her back. "I'm not sure that I can tell you."
"Well, at least I know that the cards will trust me now, so even though I seem to have lost your trust, someone believes in my super power of healing," he replied sarcastically. He could feel her turn uneasy by his side, "Seriously though, if you don't feel like telling me, it's okay, I understand." His voice betrayed his sadness over the face that she didn't trust him.
She went tense for a minute, he knew better than to speak, she was wagging a battle inside over the decision to tell him or not. He knew the best argument in his defense was to not speak. When she sighed and cleared her throat quietly, he knew he had won.
"I'll tell you but you have to promise not to respond, just simply stay like this until I leave." She looked up to him for acknowledgement of the agreement. He nodded, and held her eyes for a moment with concern. She always asked for his opinion, never once had she asked for him to be silent. She turned away from his gaze. "I love you" she said, her voice shaking slightly.
Syaoran's heart immediately beat faster. His mind kept turning her statement over and over in his head. He reached out to touch her face, but remembering his promise, stopped and merely put his hand to his heart, to try and slow it's frantic beating.
Sakura stayed still until she felt that she had had enough of his embrace to hold her over for a while. She didn't expect him to allow him to let her do that again for a long time. She knew their relationship would never be the same. She stood up. His hand grabbed hers quickly and then settled in to a comfortable hold. She didn't face him, but said coldly "You promised.."
"I promised, yes, but only to not respond you left, you have left my blanket, now I can talk. please. don't make me pass this opportunity up." He pleaded
She grew angry, "what opportunity?!? Would it be too much to ask that you give up whatever notion you have of revenge and simply let it go! I don't think you understand how cruel it would be to mock me right now!!" She tried to pull away, but he held her hand tightly.
She whirled around to yell at him face to face, but when she did so, she saw a small tear on his face. Immediately she dropped down to the blanket again beside him. She starred at his face as he stared back at hers. She was amazed by the fear she could now see in his eyes.
He hugged her tightly. He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "don't make me miss this opportunity to tell you that I . love you. I don't have the strength to try to tell you again."
She cried in response. Syaoran laughed quietly "Don't cry you'll make me cry, and I'm already feeling like a wuss for not telling you first." Sakura hiccupped and laughed along with him.
alarm clock so that a neon light showed him the time 2:05. He grumbled, and tossed some more. Eventually he threw his pillow clear across the room in his frustration.
He cursed to himself slightly under his breath. He wasn't angry over his loss of sleep; he had gone many nights before without any. His frustration derived from what was keeping him up. After pondering for a moment, fighting with himself not to give in to his weakness, he lost the battle and threw his covers off. As his feet met with cold floor he gave another slight cures, this time in a foreign language to the land of Japan. He had become so accustomed to hiding his excessive swearing from her in this manner that it had become a habit.
He parted the curtain slightly, cursing once again as the moon's full moon caused his eyes to need adjusting. Finally he parted the curtain fully. He looked to where he knew he would find what he was looking for. And sure enough there she was, sitting perched on her roof, staring at the moon as it passed further and further from her toward the horizon.
His grip on the curtain loosened, and his feet relaxed on the cold floor. He had seen this sight many nights before, but he never ceased to be amazed of her picturesque pose on the roof. Her knees were pulled in tight to her chest and her arms held he head atop her knees. Especially in the full moon he could see her intense look toward the moon, she seemed to be asking the moon for the meanings of life, for the answers to all her questions, and she would not give up her staring contest until answers were won.
He looked out at her and frantically tussled his unruly chocolate hair. He knew from her look that he too would not be sleeping until she got answers. He grew angry at his weakness, any normal soldier of the Li clan could fall asleep at the drop of a hat, and still remain alert to even the dropping of feather. But no, not he, he had to come here and live next to her. He blamed her for his ruining, and yet somehow he loved her to the point that his heart ached with hers.
His love for her was the caused to all his sleepless nights. Tonight he couldn't stand it anymore; he walked a few determined steps toward his closet. Then he stopped, starring at his closet as if going to it was the same as walking on a bed of fire. He tussled his hair again. He looked himself in the mirror on his closet door and as amber met amber he took the last few steps to the closet, flung it open and grabbed a jacket out.
He perched at the windowsill, as a cat ready to pounce on the ground below his second story window, he took one last glance at her. His glance showed a slight shiver in her silhouette. He looked back into the room with the dread that if he went back he would never have the courage to get back to where he was again. Quickly he retreated, and grabbed a blanket, big enough to cover both of them he realized with a blush. Shaking his head frantically and fighting with his hair once again.
He made it to the windowsill once again, and pounced on the ground below. From there he quickly made his way across to the tree that they had both used so often to sneak out and in, beyond the guard dog- man named onii-chan. From here he swiftly jumped upon the roof, but with such silence that she didn't even flinch from here perch. He had never seen her roof sitting from this close before. Now he pondered how the moon could possibly not relinquish all its information to her, her stare was so intense that he would have broken down in minutes. He reminded himself that that was probably due to the fact that he loved her and that she made his knees go weak as those cliché movie stars he hated always did.
He knew he was going to startle her so he said her name as soothingly as he possibly could, "Sakura?."
She jumped a little as he had predicted, her aura automatically flared, but when she felt his she calmed. Without even turning around she whispered, "Syaoran." Her voice seemed upset that he was there, he automatically regretted being there, he swore under his breath once again in Cantonese.
"You really shouldn't swear so much Syaoran." she scolded quietly; she still hadn't turned from her contest with the moon.
"How." he gaped astonished at the fact that she could somehow know that he was swearing.
"I know you, that's how." She responded to his unfinished question. Her cold tone scared him, he had never heard her so intense. He summed up all his courage and walked closer to her to drape the blanket over her shoulders. She suddenly seemed to realize that he was there, and smiled slightly up at him.
"Why are you still up? It must be at least 1 in the morning." she asked concerned. He smiled a bit at he lack of notice that she was up as well.
"Actually it's 2," he replied "Why are you still up?"
"I." she paused, calculating a lie, he could always tell when she was lying, "I just have a lot on my mind."
"Only a half lie" he replied. He could feel her anger flare at this. Whatever was bothering her must have been very serious to cause this much of a character change.
With anger in her voice she accused, "You still haven't answered my question."
"I didn't need to," he replied and looked at the moon with a dramatic pause that he knew would be enough to calm her nerves, "You already did."
"How?" she replied confusion now replacing her anger.
"You told me why you can't sleep, thus my reason for not being able to sleep is the same."
"How" she questioned again after staring at the moon for a minute, searching for the answer.
"Simple, I can't sleep when you can't sleep" he replied, purposely looking away from her face. She looked directly at him, and he directly at the moon. She knew he was telling the truth now. She flung half of the blanket over him.
"How do you know when I can't sleep?" she asked quietly.
"You don't sing" he replied matter-of-factly
She looked a little shocked. "Do I really sing that loud.? The whole neighborhood must hate me; I didn't realize I was so loud." she became nervous.
"You don't sing loudly, no one can hear." He replied once again in a matter of fact voice. She looked at him slightly. She was visibly confused.
"How can you hear me then?" she questioned.
"I heard you once, when the wind was blowing. I feel asleep much easier and had the best sleep I had had in years. I tried to listen other nights, but there was no wind. I didn't sleep for a couple of days. The cards felt my distress; so one night after you were asleep they came to me and offered their aid. The song and wind card have been helping me ever since. Only now it's like some sleeping pill that got me hooked, I can't sleep unless you sing. And when you don't sing it's because you aren't sleeping. So basically when you don't sleep, I don't sleep." He told her in a soothing voice while staring at the moon.
At the end of his speech she didn't reply, she merely scooted closer to him, pulled the blanket closer and laid her head on his shoulder. He blushed a little and looked down at her as she now stared off into the sun. He felt relief that she hadn't been mad at him for using the cards against her permission, and had listened in on her private singing for months.
He spoke quietly, "The cards made me promise something to them in exchange for their service." He paused; her silence was taken as a sign to continue. "I promised them I would look out for you, and help you through the problems you face. Your cards wished they could do it all themselves, but they felt that I might be useful as a messenger. I think they may have finally been able to forgive me for trying to take them away from you so many years ago." He felt her giggle a little at his side. "So let me help you with whatever it is that you are interrogating poor Mr. Moon about."
She didn't look up, instead she shifted away from him slightly. He wrapped his arm around her and gently pulled her back. "I'm not sure that I can tell you."
"Well, at least I know that the cards will trust me now, so even though I seem to have lost your trust, someone believes in my super power of healing," he replied sarcastically. He could feel her turn uneasy by his side, "Seriously though, if you don't feel like telling me, it's okay, I understand." His voice betrayed his sadness over the face that she didn't trust him.
She went tense for a minute, he knew better than to speak, she was wagging a battle inside over the decision to tell him or not. He knew the best argument in his defense was to not speak. When she sighed and cleared her throat quietly, he knew he had won.
"I'll tell you but you have to promise not to respond, just simply stay like this until I leave." She looked up to him for acknowledgement of the agreement. He nodded, and held her eyes for a moment with concern. She always asked for his opinion, never once had she asked for him to be silent. She turned away from his gaze. "I love you" she said, her voice shaking slightly.
Syaoran's heart immediately beat faster. His mind kept turning her statement over and over in his head. He reached out to touch her face, but remembering his promise, stopped and merely put his hand to his heart, to try and slow it's frantic beating.
Sakura stayed still until she felt that she had had enough of his embrace to hold her over for a while. She didn't expect him to allow him to let her do that again for a long time. She knew their relationship would never be the same. She stood up. His hand grabbed hers quickly and then settled in to a comfortable hold. She didn't face him, but said coldly "You promised.."
"I promised, yes, but only to not respond you left, you have left my blanket, now I can talk. please. don't make me pass this opportunity up." He pleaded
She grew angry, "what opportunity?!? Would it be too much to ask that you give up whatever notion you have of revenge and simply let it go! I don't think you understand how cruel it would be to mock me right now!!" She tried to pull away, but he held her hand tightly.
She whirled around to yell at him face to face, but when she did so, she saw a small tear on his face. Immediately she dropped down to the blanket again beside him. She starred at his face as he stared back at hers. She was amazed by the fear she could now see in his eyes.
He hugged her tightly. He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "don't make me miss this opportunity to tell you that I . love you. I don't have the strength to try to tell you again."
She cried in response. Syaoran laughed quietly "Don't cry you'll make me cry, and I'm already feeling like a wuss for not telling you first." Sakura hiccupped and laughed along with him.