A.N: A one-shot I did for Knights of the Old Republic 2: The Sith Lords. I pieced together whatever info I could about the exile and her history and what she must have felt coming back to a place holding so much pain and misery. I also love writing about Malachor V because of its dark atmosphere. I think that's the third time I've started a KotOR 2 fanfic with that sentence.
I don't own anything.
The dark, stone walls of the Trayus Academy echoed with her footsteps. It was unusually quiet, unlike everywhere else. No telltale hum of lightsabers or silent whispering between the Sith.
The silence was overpowering. Through all of her travels, there had always been that faint buzz of life in planets. It had not been since she awakened to the force on Peragus that she felt this emptiness, this feeling of Death surrounding her, encasing her and crushing her.
She felt like a slave to her own vacancy. Her existence, her knowledge of that she had become a wound in the force, something that could not remain. Disciple had assured her she was wrong, there was nothing terrible about the way others followed her call to leadership, her call to war.
He said she was a natural leader, but she knew better. It was because of that she endangered herself, her companions and the force. It was because she was different, an anomaly, an outcast and a freak.
And she remembered.
She remembered the screams of thousands in her head, amplified by the force, the screams of Mandalorians and Republic troops alike.
She remembered the emptiness of Malachor and the death of the planet. The death she still felt walking along its surface now. She felt the dark energy filling her, turning her, slowly.
She could feel that excruciating pain as she cut herself off from the force, her life, her soul. It felt her heart was removed but her soul carried on living, stayed in pain and afraid.
She recalled the noise, the screams and the weeping, all suddenly silent as her senses clouded. Tears filled her eyes. She had never wanted to return here, this place, which held so many memories. So strong that her head throbbed with pain.
What had she gained from that? She had gained a life of pain and torment, the feeling of weakness at every corner and the feeling of vulnerability without her lightsaber.
She had gained more enemies than allies, more death than life and, worst of all, more loneliness than any being could ever endure.
It felt relaxing to be in action once again, as another hoard of Sith advanced on her. She always was a fighter, always getting into fights and making more enemies. That didn't scare her.
What scared her is when people stayed away. Not because she was intimidating, but because she was...different. A freak of nature.
She never wanted to feel this again. Although Malachor brought it back to her in full detail.
"I remember," she whispered softly to herself. "I remember."
And that's it! It's quite short but I enjoyed writing it. Malachor V is one of my favorite settings.