I stare up at the bright starry sky, with a sense of comfort from the far away objects. My life had taken a turn that no one would have predicted,
not in a million years. I was a vampire, a mother, a grandmother, well soon to be grandmother. As I lay quietly in the meadow I tried to absorb
the grass as it rustled beneath me in reaction to the winds new direction, the moon and its companions, the stars, shinning down on me. It was
hard to believe that time had gone so quickly, almost as if it slipped threw my fingertips like grains of sand. Time, it was almost cruel. Even though
my family was protected with immortality, time still frightened me. I know it's silly, a strong, rock solid, impenetrable vampire like me should not be
scared of something so simple as time.
I drifted back to when Reneseme was still a little girl who needed her parents, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents for protection. When she was small,
innocent, less complicated. Not that I don't love my daughter with all of my being, it's just that I feel unneeded. She's all grown up, has a
husband, and is starting a family, without me there to help threw all the ups and downs. How can someone ask them to give up the being they
gave life to? How can I just watch as she moves on, moves quickly, moves away, quickly away from me? Her mother, her life line, the one constant
in her life.
I worry, yes. That's something Edward had taught me to well. I try to rein it in, but it feels liberating to just let go. After I do this, I feel energized,
like I did when I was human and had just woken from a deep and long slumber. The wind changes direction and I smell some one approaching. I
recognize the scent immediately, Edward. He must be wondering where I slipped off to without him. It's not a rule just more of an unspoken
agreement that we don't leave each other for long periods of time; it makes both of us anxious. My behavior must have him somewhat muddled
as to my longer than normal disappearance. Although I'm sure he understands it. For sure he can see how I may be slightly dismayed with the
announcement of my daughter's pregnancy. She has only been on this world a mere short 17 years. She might look like an adult but I was sure
she was far from that.
I had not protested to her decision to marry Jacob last year. In fact I had been thrilled, and surprised everyone with my sudden need to plan my
only daughters wedding. I could handle that, it was inevitable, it would happen sometime, why not then? But this, it was terrifying; it was wrong,
all wrong. Why couldn't Jacob and Nessie just have a life together as a happy couple? Why did they need to complicate things? How could Jacob
Gamble with my daughter's life this way, his imprints life. Although, these thoughts were also very hypocritical, wasn't it me how had done the
impossible? Deliver a vampire baby while still human. I had put myself in the same poison only we knew how it would end, me, dead, white, cold
on a table with the stone cold child surviving their mother, killing their mother. And look how it ended up, perfect. Pessimistic, yes that's what I
am.
Somehow Edward had managed to sneak up on me and when he wrapped his long arms around my slender waist I was jumped for the first time
in my vampire life. I felt his warm breath tickle at my neck. Soft as a summer breeze he brushed my hair back from my face so his honey colored
eyes could bore into my slightly darker ones. He knew what was troubling me; he always knew what I was feeling, but asked anyway.
"Bella, Love, what's got you so worked up?" His whisper was so soft that even I had to strain to hear him. I looked back to the starry night and
sighed, time to explain.
"Edward, I'm scared." My words came out strangled and broken up. They even sounded weak to my ears. I heard Edward take in a long breath.
"Well… there is quite a bit to be frightened of I suppose." He said with out any emotion in his voice. What? He supposes, only supposes, our only
daughter may die from her stupid choice to conceive and he is only slightly concerned? I was furious, yes 0defiantly angry now.
"How can you be so off hand about this? How can you just brush it off as if it's nothing? Do you not understand we may lose our daughter to the
mutant child? Or are not as connected to her as me? After all you didn't even want her from the beginning; I was the one who protected her from
her FATHER!" I screeched at him. I screeched at him. I instantly regretted the words that had just flown from my mouth. Edward flinched at my
flaming accusations; hurt, pain, and regret flashed throw his not stone cold eyes. I could tell he was about to defend himself.
"Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I just wasn't thinking and… That was unforgivable." I whispered. He still didn't say anything. I felt him pull
away from me but I didn't let him. I had to keep him close; I was scared of how much it would hurt if he were to let me go now, after my vile
words. I tried again.
"Edward please forgive me, I didn't-" He cut me off.
"Yes you did. And it was all true. Except for the part of me not loving my only daughter, Except for the part where our grandchild will be a mutant.
But the rest… is so very true." He stated pain evident in his voice. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him to me fiercely. I couldn't let him
think such things. It was my duty as the wife to protect him from such feelings.
"Edward. I was out of line I misspoke. You know that. Please forgive me." I begged.
"Well… I suppose, As long as I get something in return." He smiled his crooked smile at me, lust burning in his eyes now instead of pain. I had
succeeded in comforting him and that pushed all my other worries away, for the time. I turned my head so I could press my lips against his soft,
smooth ones. Our lips moved against each others for a while then we released that this probably wasn't the best time to be carried away. I pulled
away to look him in the eyes.
"Can we go back to the house first? I asked. "I have some more apologizing to do." I smiled up at him guiltily.
"Of course love, anything for you." He sealed it with a sweet and loving kiss and pulled me to my feet. He let my hand fall to my side as he let it
go, preparing to bolt into the forest back to the house. I had other ideas; I didn't want to cease the skin on skin contact quite yet.
"Would you carry me?" I asked tentatively. He turned and I could see that his face was lit brightly by a radiant smile.
"Of course. I wouldn't want it any other way." He said sweetly. He gathered me in his arms, bridal style and I nestled down in his arms as he
rocketed in to the forest towards the house. As we grew closer I could hear all the different conversations taking place in the house. The most
prominent was the sobs emitting from my daughter, and Jacob and Rosalie trying to comfort her. She was like this because of me, I thought. How
could I do this to my baby? Even if I thought she was completely crazy, hadn't I done the same thing? Hadn't I refused to let others sway me from
aborting my little nudger. Yes, I had. And now my little girl was fallowing in my footsteps. I suddenly felt my chest swell with pride, we were so
alike. Edward walked us through the front door and everyone looked up, even though they knew who it was already. Then I saw her, huddled on
the couch, with Jacob. I signaled f or Edward to let me down. I had to do this; I had to set it right. I couldn't let her think I disapproved, no
defiantly not.