a/n: so, I know that this story has been done a few times. We all do wonder 'what if' and now is my crack at it. Am trying a different writing style that I hope I can perfect by the end of it. SO here it goes. Also, a lot of the set up for this was inspired from an outline by Tumblr user what-a-strange-little-star, please check her out, she is so awesome!

Caleb opened his eyes and looked around at the surroundings; large thick trees that raised high above him as they reached the night sky where the numerous stars shined above him. It seemed peaceful until he heard her voice.

"CALEB!" he heard his master cry, as the boy turned he saw her on the ground. Master Depa was bleeding from every part of her body and pooled around her onto the earth, her form shaking as a result from being weakened in battle. Horror was painted all over her face as she looked her padawan in the eye and held out her hand for some sort of aid "Why did you run?!"

Caleb couldn't move, he was too scared, he could not even say how sorry he was. The woman was then was shot by a multiple of blaster bolts, crying out in agony as the projectiles pierced her body. The life in her eyes faded as she was sent to the ground completely, where she would not wake up. Caleb couldn't breathe, his heart felt like it was about to burst out of his chest; his eyes overflowed with tears so much it almost blinded him.

"There's the other one!" cried one of the clone troopers as the other one followed his comrade and headed right where Caleb was.

Caleb held his arms up in defense and closed his eye. Only to hear them go right past him.

When Caleb turned around, he saw the forest gone, in its place was a city block in broad daylight, full of people, and the clone troopers that raced by him were now stormtroopers. As Kanan got a look at the scene around him, he realized that it was the market place; the one where he would bring…

"Fire!" one trooper ordered as the others shot into the crowd.

"NO!" Caleb cried out in horror as citizens began to flee. Beings were running in all directions to avoid the firing squad of the troopers. But the troopers kept moving through the market until they corned someone, someone he knew! There in the alley next to a dumpster, there was a small boy with tan skin and hair that looked like the night sky, and his bright blue eyes had so much fear in them as the troopers advanced on him. Caleb's blood ran cold.

"Get away from him!" Caleb cried out as he finally found the courage to run towards the trooper. Caleb had to protect him.

One trooper, however, pointed a gun right at Caleb, forcing him to stop dead in his track.

The other trooper then pointed the gun the child once more, "All like him must be destroyed"

"KANAN!" Ezra cried as Caleb's world went white and blaster shot rang in his ear.

"AAAHHH!" Kanan cried out in panic as he sat up in bed with a panic. Cold sweat that wasn't dripping down his face was being soaked by his long hair. The man panting in a tempt to catch his breath. Once his breathing had calmed down, he looked around saw that he was no longer in the past, but in his apartment bedroom. While he knew to be alright, anxiety filled his core once more as he thought of the boy in his dream.

Kanan immediately shot up out of bed and raced to the corner of bookshelves and sheets that made up Ezra's 'room'. As Kanan pulled back the curtain, he was able to let out a sigh of relief. The young nine-year-old laid on his bed, fast asleep. Kanan could now relax after seeing his kid safe. Kanan though still felt his heart almost beating out of his chest.

The man needed to calm his nerves to go to sleep. Otherwise, he would toss and turn and for sure wake Ezra. Cautiously, Kanan made his way to the kitchen to make himself some tea. As the water heated up, Kanan sat down at the table to wait for it to boil. At the table, the man sat in silence as he held his hands by his temples, so his hair could course through his fingers as he thought of the nightmare he just endured. One that had elements of repeated history and current fears.

The bitter truth was that recalling how his master died did not faze him, not like it used to. Kanan accepted a long time ago that her death was not Caleb's fault. That the Empire betrayed the Jedi order; betrayed them. That was beyond Caleb's control. Kanan was here now and he had to focus on not only his own wellbeing but Ezra's first and foremost.

Ezra being targeted in the nightmare was what made Kanan so uneasy. Recalling that image in the market place sent a shiver up his whole body. Ezra looking so scared, the kid was crying for Kanan and the man could do nothing. What if that were to happen in real life? It was too much to bear. If that ever did happen, if anything happened to Ezra…

"Kanan?"

Kanan turned and saw in the doorway of the room stood a tired Ezra as he rubbed his sleepy eyes.

Kanan didn't like this, "Sorry Ezra, did I wake you?" The man asked, worried that his youngling sensed the man's distress in his sleep.

Ezra shook his head as he approached the table, "No, I just woke up and then heard you out here."

As Ezra sat down he looked up at Kanan and began to chuckle.

"What?" Kanan questioned with a weak smile. Despite the kid being up, at least he didn't seem as troubled as Kanan was.

"When your hair is down you look like a girl." Ezra chuckled as pointed to the man.

Kanan couldn't help but laugh at the kid's remark.

Kanan pulled his hair back into his usual ponytail as he pointed out, "Better than what your hair is doing."

Once Kanan was done tying his hair, he ruffled Ezra's as he told the boy, "Your bedhead looks like a zakkeg lost a fight."

Ezra giggled as he got his hair away from Kanan.

Just then Kanan heard the water boil, so he got up to make himself his tea.

"Are you cooking this late at night?" Ezra speculated.

Kanan tilted his head to the side as he thought about it, "Kind of," he supposed, "I'm making myself some tea."

"Can I have some please?" Ezra asked, "If it's not too much trouble."

Kanan then got a second mug, "Just a little bit, not sure how you will like it."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked for it," Ezra said as he sunk into his chair.

"Don't be silly. You don't have anything to be sorry for," Kanan pointed out, "You may or may not like it, won't know until you try."

"I don't want to use it all up though."

Kanan was confused at where Ezra was going, "You won't, but if you did we can get some more at the market tomorrow."

"With what money?" Ezra questioned as he looked up at Kanan.

"Ah," Kanan now understood. Despite Ezra being young, he was smart enough to know that the two were short on money. The job Kanan recently had at the loading dock got taken over by imperials, just like everything else on Lothal. Kanan had been finding odd jobs with bars and shuttle work, but nothing that could make ends meet for long. Luckily Kanan had been saving.

"Ezra, look at me," Kanan asked so the kid would listen. Ezra did just that so Kanan told him the truth, "Money may be tight right now, but we are okay."

"How?" Ezra asked.

Kanan then showed him the bag of credits he kept up in the high shelf. It wasn't a lot but enough to get them somewhere else.

"Remember how we have been talking about going to another planet. How you liked the idea of going to Alderan?"

Ezra smiled as he nodded, "I like the pictures of Alderan, it seems peaceful."

Kanan smiled as he got up to get the holoprojector and brought it back to the table, so Ezra could see Alderan again.

Kanan smiled as Ezra gazed at it with glee as he saw the mountains, plains, and the city with so many happy people.

"I know it won't be perfect," Ezra admitted, "But it would be a nice place to start over."

Kanan smiled as Ezra said this, "That's why I'm saving whatever money I can. I already have some saved up for us to fly there. Now we just need enough to get us a place for when we get there."

Ezra smiled weakly at the idea before he said bitterly, "You'd have enough saved if I wasn't here."

Kanan turned off the projector as he looked at the kid.

"What are we?" Kanan asked in a very serious tone.

Ezra looked away with his lips pierced to stop himself from smiling

Kanan then smiled as he poked Ezra's shoulder, "Come on, you know it."

Ezra looked up and when he saw Kanan's smile, "I'm your padawan and you're my Mater, we are a team, family."

Kanan smiled as he ruffled Ezra's hair with affection once more, "Exactly. That means…"

Ezra finally smiled as he stated, "We always stick together."

Kanan smiled as he then took a sip of his warm tea and Ezra followed suit, only to have his face turn bitter.

Kanan knew that look, "Don't like it?"

Ezra looked up as he thought about it, "It's like really weak juice, like it kind of taste good"

Kanan chuckled as he shook his head and got an idea.

"Here," Kanan said as he got some creamer from the fridge and poured some into Ezra's mug.

Ezra took a sip and smiled, "Better."

With that, the two males sat in silence as they enjoyed their tea. As soon as Ezra finished, his eyes began to droop with exhaustion.

"Come on kid," Kanan gestured as Ezra got out from his chair and headed to the bedrooms.

As Ezra got to his area of the room, he quickly laid on his bed, so he could go to sleep. Kanan pulled the blanket over the child.

Kanan was about to go to bed when he heard his name once more,

"Kanan?" Ezra asked in a tired voice.

"Yeah?" Kanan questioned

"Can I ask you a question?"

Kanan thought about it before he told Ezra, "Since you asked me a few already, I guess one more before bed wouldn't hurt."

"What was it like before me?"

Kanan was shocked by the question.

"Why do you ask?" Kanan wondered.

Ezra shrugged his shoulders as he stated, "Well it seems that when you aren't working, you are with me and taking care of me. Your life must have been much more fun before I came along.

Kanan couldn't help but laugh at such a statement.

Ezra seemed confused as Kanan sat on the bed to tell Ezra the truth.

"To be honest kid, before you, Life was rather…lonely," Kanan answered with a heavy solemn

"Really?" Ezra asked as he looked on to hear more, curious about his guardian's past.

"Yeah," Kanan confirmed as he remembered, "for seven years, I was pretty much on my own. I would go from city to city, planet to planet to avoid any detection from the Empire; just so I could survive."

Ezra became rather sad for his mentor, Kanan had told him about a lot of close calls and narrow escapes before meeting him. It scared the kid that he was so close to not meeting the man he idolized.

Kanan continued, "But that meant I couldn't really get too close to people. Even if I met people I was okay with, once I had moved from a place I moved from them too.

"That's really sad," Ezra pointed out as he pitted the man.

"It was," Kanan agreed as he thought of another point, "It also made where I lived rather quiet."

Ezra giggled, "I bet you miss that sometimes,"
Kanan chuckled, "Not really," Kanan admitted, "Truth be told when I was by myself and it was quiet, it got rather… disturbing."

"Disturbing?" Ezra asked in confusion.

Kanan explained, "When you have nothing to listen to, to focus on; it leaves one with thoughts, and sometimes those can be rather troubling, dark even if I let myself get that far."

"Do you still have those thoughts?" Ezra questioned knowing exactly what Kanan was talking about.

Kanan sighed as he admitted, "Sometimes," Kanan said honestly to Ezra, before he smiled and assured Ezra, "But with you not so much."

Ezra nodded as his eyes closed, "Me too," Ezra admitted sadly.

This shocked Kanan a bit before Ezra went on, "I used to have sad thoughts when I was alone. But then you saved me." Ezra smiled at this last sentence before he entered the world of slumber.

Kanan watched as Ezra slept, still thinking of what the kid said. Ezra didn't talk too much about his time before Kanan, but he knew Ezra had a hard time just like him. What really bewildered Kanan was that Ezra thought that he saved the kid.

Kanan always thought it was the other way around.

18 months earlier

Kanan came to Lothal one night, the moment he set foot on the planet, he knew he wouldn't stay long. Looking at the city and the dying grass that surrounded it, all Kanan could sense was dread and despair all around him.

Kanan sighed, "It will have to do." Those were his first words on Lothal.

On the grassy planet, Kanan found the thing's he would need; a job that paid a decent amount to keep him sustained, an apartment that was okay at best, and the bars that had no limit on consumption. Kanan was able to get those within his first week on the miserable planet. This was when he fell into his usual routine.

Kanan woke up just before he had to work with a massive hangover. More often than not he would not even remember what happened the night before (which was how he preferred it). At work, he kept to his own business. Once work was done he would go to the first bar that was open and drank….and drank….and drank some more. If Kanan was lucky he could score some pretty thing; only for it all to be within in ten minutes. But it was better than spending every second of life alone.

One night though, just about a couple months after landing on Lothal, he sensed it. After getting out of work late (shipments were late and half of them were wrong and needed to be handled) Kanan head to the closest bar to where he worked when he sensed something calling him that he hadn't sensed in a long time; the force, and it was calling to him. Kanan looked around for any danger coming his way. As Kanan sensed it though Kanan realized it wasn't the force itself, it was someone else connected to the force; someone close by.

Kanan was furious. For years Kanan would keep an eye out for any force users in the area and was fortunate enough not to run into anything from his past that could end him. Now some low life could put him in potential danger. Kanan felt so screwed; he had to get away from the demonic being that could ruin everything.

Kanan immediate went into the bar, laid his money on the counter and stated firmly, "I need your strongest drink, NOW!"

The man did as he was told and got Kanan his drink; about a dozen times.

As Kanan drank more and more, Kanan could still sense someone near him, no matter how hard he tried to ignore them. It was consuming him just as much as the alcohol was. The worst of it was this being wasn't even acknowledging him, at least if the force-user confronted Kanan, the former padawan could fight him off and run or just get his existence over with. However, this being seemed to pay no regard to him. It was like the damn user was focused on something else.

Finally, Kanan had enough. If this force user was sick enough to make his presence known to Kanan, then the bastard was up to fight him. Kanan paid what he was due and stumbled outside. In his intoxicated stated Kanan was eager to fight to get it over with. The man sensed the being and they were close; on his right.

Kanan stumbled, having to use the walls of buildings to support himself so he would not fall over. Kanan made his way into the alley where he sensed the force user. Kanan scanned the area, he sensed the being but could not see them. This only engulfed Kanan in rage as the coward hid.

His impatience growing thin, Kanan grabbed for his blaster and aimed it down the alleyway; his blaster wavering in his drunk state.

"COME OUT!" Kanan roared as he moved further down, "I KNOW YOU ARE DOWN HERE! SO, COME OUT AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!"

Kanan then sensed fear, pure fear from this force user, "HOW DARE YOU BE SCARED. YOU DANCE AROUND ME, TAUNTING ME, AND YOU HAVE THE GAUL TO BE SCARED NOW!" This point, even Kana could tell he was slurring, but he didn't care. What he should have cared was that he was making a scene, his presence aware of.

"Hey," roared a voice from the entrance of the alleyway. When Kanan turned he saw three Devaronians, all three big and all three with evil smirks on their faces.

"Mind your own business," Kanan slurred at them as he waved his blaster around.

The devorians looked at one another and smirked wickedly, the middle and the biggest one stepped forwards, "This is our business fellow. You see this is our turf, and you seem to be out of place."

Kanan could see what was going on and aimed his blaster the middle one, though his aim shook in his intoxicated state, "Just walk away, this is a personal matter."

Middle horned humanoid shrugged his shoulders, "tell you what, give us what you have for credits, and we walk away. Simple as that."

Kanan knew something was going down, but he was too focused on finding this force user that was torturing him that he didn't consider what these punks were up too.

"Look," Kanan stammered, "I'm just as broke as everyone else. Got no credits on me.

Kanan then got a chill up his spine when he heard a voice on his left, "Then what did you pay to get so drunk?"

Kanan was about to turn when he felt a hard fist hit his jaw. Kanan swore it knocked his jaw out of place as he hit the hard ground and his blaster was knocked out of his hand.

Kanan was about to rise up and tackle the coward to the ground when one of the other devorians kicked him in the ribs, sending whatever was in Kanan's stomach up and vomited out.

Kanan groaned as he scrunched down in pain. The man then heard the gang laugh.

"Bastard wasn't lying," the supposed leader said, "two credits left in his wallet."

Kanan was furious as he looked up at them, "Give that back!"

Kanan then felt another kick in the ribs as it had enough force to land him on his stomach.

The leader then knelt down to Kanan, grabbed the man by his collar and hissed at him, "Spend all your money getting so drunk that you can't even fight back? How pathetic."

This drove Kanan over the edge as he finally leapt up and tackled the leader to the ground. Kanan was only able to make a couple of punches in the face when the other two took Kanan by the shoulder and held him good so that the man could not get away.

The leader got up and after whipping the blood off his face approached Kanan and began punching him hard in several places.

Kanan felt like he couldn't breathe, that the lungs were filling with blood as he puked some out.

Kanan tried to look for his blaster on the ground but couldn't seem to find it anywhere."

The leader then pulled out a knife and said coldly, "Your pathetic life ends now."

At that moment Kanan didn't care, so he braced himself for eventual death when suddenly Kanan heard it.

Several shots were heard over head, it made Kanan's heart skip a beat. Apparently, it also scared the gang because they dropped Kanan to the ground and Kanan could hear them running away from him. Kanan tried to look around for the being who was shooting, but Kanan couldn't focus; from being drunk to the hits to the head it was amazing Kanan could keep awake; and Kanan could feel himself leaving the conscious world. Everything was becoming fuzzy, but right before the world turned black, Kanan could have sworn he saw an image behind the alley dumpster. Before Kanan could even attempt to take a closer look, his head fell to the cold ground as dunk slumber took over his body and mind.

Present

Kanan looked down at the sleepy kid and has so many regrets from that night. If he had been more open he would have realized the kid was focusing on his own survival; if he had not been so angry he wouldn't have scared the young boy in the alley with blindly aiming his blaster and screaming his head off; if he hadn't been so drunk, then maybe he could have found Ezra sooner.

Kanan sighed at the thought. Kid had saved him that night, and it was months later before Kanan could begin to help him. It made Kanan sick with himself.

Kanan calmed his mind; stewing in self-pity did no one any good. Kanan and Ezra had each other now and that was how it was going to be.

Kanan head to his own bed and recalled how the past two years have been hard, but more pleasant, clearer than he had been in a long time, and that was thanks to Ezra.

I hope you all like this story; will I continue, hell yes along with my other tales I got going. I hope you all like this tale and drop me a comment on how this was, and maybe a birthday wish cause I'm posting it on my bday! A gift from me to my fans; nothing makes me more happy than posting fanfic