AHHH, SuFin fluff! :D This is also my first story in first person POV. Hope you like it! Oh. And Hetalia's not owned by me, in case any of you were extremely confused and wondering…
This is a short piece, but written two different ways. The first time, from Finland's POV, and the second from Sweden's. It will change after the second page break. Enjoy!
First, let's set the scene.
It's only been a few months since we ran away from Denmark and I came to Sweden's house. We've been living together ever since…not that I had much say in the matter. When we first got here, Sweden scared me so badly I couldn't even consider running away from him.
But things are a little different now.
Sweden (or Su-san, as I call him) doesn't scare me anymore, and I continue to live here by choice. He's a little…intimidating, but it's only because he doesn't know how to communicate very well. After I got to know him, I found him to be kind, caring, and very sweet. Really, he's a good person, and I trust him more than I've ever trusted anybody before. Actually…I think I've come to like him. I feel flustered and nervous when he's around, and I've always thought he was very attractive, to say the least. More than once I've tried to tell him how I felt, but I never seemed to be able to find it in me.
Which explains why I'm so nervous right now.
…
Sweden was standing close to me; very close. Blushing, I took a step backwards and found by back touching the wall behind me. He came closer still until his body pressed against mine. I was positive he would be able to feel the erratic beats of my heart against his own chest.
I wasn't sure how we'd ended up like this. We were in my room, and we'd been talking just like normal until Sweden had gradually said less and less and instead spent his time looking at me. Still, I didn't think much of it, because he was usually such a quiet guy. It was getting pretty late, and I was about to suggest we go to bed when he had said something really weird.
"F'nland, yer really cute, ya know."
I hadn't known what to say in response, but I had felt my heart rate speed up a considerable amount. Then he'd reached out a hand and ran it down my cheek. I'd jumped up, surprised and embarrassed (though not displeased), and here we were a moment later.
My face burned as he slowly cupped my cheek in his hand again. I couldn't help but lean into it a little, and my eyes closed, seemingly involuntarily. Every nerve in my body was on fire, and I could feel with unnatural clarity every place where our figures met. As nervous as I was, the reaction from my body to this contact with him proved, without a doubt, that I did like him. And it seemed he liked me, too. I'd never felt this way about someone before. Adrenaline coursed through my veins and I realized that I was ready to, that I wanted to, kiss him, and that I probably had for some time.
He took my chin in his fingers and turned my face up towards him. I opened my eyes and let them get lost in his for a moment. He didn't make another move, so, determined, I took the initiative. I stood up on my toes and let my lips brush against his lightly, just a shadow of a kiss. We both seemed to hesitate for a few seconds before he returned my kiss with one with more force, pushing me back against the wall and putting one hand on my waist, the other around my shoulders.
His lips were surprisingly soft, and he was gentler than I had expected. I slipped my arms around his neck before I even realized what I was doing. I held him close to me, breathed in his scent, felt his warm torso against mine, and let Su-san take my first kiss.
It was sweet and affectionate, and not too passionate for my first time. It was exhilarating, and I was only left wanting more. After he broke contact, I buried my flushed face in his chest, too scared to look up at him. What if he wasn't feeling the same way I was? What if I was bad at kissing? I felt his hand on the back of my head, lightly stroking my hair, and I gathered the courage to look up at him.
Sweden was so much taller than me that I had to make a real effort to see his face. He was looking down at me with a blank, emotionless expression, like he usually had. It only made me more nervous. Was I really so bad that he didn't feel anything at all?
"Su-san…?" I whispered questioningly. He was still holding me, but at the same time he looked at me like that. What does that mean! He loosened his grip on me and I feared the worst. I knew it, he's got a lot of experience and I'm just not good enough… My heart sank and my eyes dropped down to stare at the floor. "I…I'm sorry," I muttered. I wanted to cry.
"Fer what?" It was the last response I had been expecting. I looked up in wonder but saw Sweden avoiding my gaze, looking somewhere off to my left. His cheeks were a little red, but his brows were more furrowed than usual. He looked angry to me. Is he mad at me now! Then he did something unexpected; he kissed my forehead. "Uh…g'night, F'nland," he said quickly, and left the room in a sudden hurry.
My heart still tapping out a crazy rhythm in my chest, I leaned back against the wall and slid down to the floor. What just happened? I didn't dare answer myself.
But I think… I reached up and touched my fingertips to my lips, which still distinctly remembered the feeling of his; I think I might be in love.
…
I don't know what made me do it, but I just couldn't stop myself. I had been with Finland in his room, both of us just sitting on the bed and talking casually, as we did often. Tonight, though, I suddenly felt like it was time that I addressed the feelings I'd kept to myself for so long, to find out if he felt the same way. I had decided on this much earlier in the night but had been unable to work up the courage to actually say it, and now I was running out of time before I would have to go to bed. But I've never been good with words, and I just didn't know how to say it. How do you tell someone that you care about him more than anyone else in the world? That you think he's smart, funny, and adorable. That you just want him to be happy. That you need him in your life.
How do you say that?
"F'nland, yer really cute, ya know." I cringed inwardly. That wasn't it. I saw the shock on his face, but it was too late to stop now. Maybe a gesture would be better to express how I was feeling.
I touched his face; I think I scared him a bit. He jumped up and stared at me. When I tried to follow him, just to talk to him, he walked backwards until he was against the wall. I didn't mean to act so forcefully, but there was something in his face that said he wasn't scared of me, just nervous. I could appreciate that, since I was so anxious that my hands were shaking and I felt like I might throw up. But as I looked at his kind face, I decided then and there that I wanted to kiss him, and I hoped he felt the same way.
I put my body against his and felt him tremble slightly beneath me. He's so small. I noticed for the first time just how much smaller than me he was. I hoped I didn't scare him, being considerably bigger and stronger than him. I decided to try touching his face again, to start slowly. This time, instead of tensing up, he relaxed and leant his hot cheek against my hand, even closing his eyes as he did so. It was so cute, I almost started blushing myself.
I pushed up on his chin gently, until he looked up at my face again. However, I was hesitant to go further. What if I was still scaring him? What if he wasn't ready for this…? I was considering backing off, giving him some space, when he surprised me by standing up on his toes and gently kissing me on the mouth. He only just barely touched me, but it gave me confidence and assured me it was all right to return it with one of my own. I put my arms around his waist and shoulders, and felt a wave of pleasure make its way through me as he put his own arms around my neck and pulled me even closer to him.
It felt so right, to finally have his arms around me, to have his lips on mine. Still, I made sure to stop myself before I went too far. The last thing I wanted was to get carried away and scare him off before our relationship could even start. So I was the first to pull away.
As I did, he pressed his face into my shirt, still gripping me tightly around the neck. He seemed so…vulnerable. I tried to comfort him, though I wasn't sure what he was upset about. Placing my right hand on the back of his head, I began to stroke his fine hair. It's so soft… I thought, just as he leaned back and looked up into my face. I stared back with what I hoped was an affectionate look in my eyes, though I wasn't sure how successful I was.
"Su-san…?" He said, and I was suddenly afraid that I'd done something wrong when we'd kissed. Had I bumped his nose, or squeezed him too hard, or something? I didn't remember. I had been too nervous to notice. I felt my arms, which were still around him, slacken slightly as I wondered what I'd done wrong. "I…I'm sorry," he said, lowering his head.
What? He was sorry? "Fer what?" I asked, genuinely confused. As I said that, he snapped his head back up to look at me with such sweet, innocent hope in his eyes I felt myself blush for real this time. Self-conscious about my reddened complexion, I felt my eyebrows draw together and I couldn't look him in the eye. His face fell slightly, so I did something that even I didn't see coming. I took his face in both my hands and kissed his forehead. Now I was even more embarrassed. "Uh...g'night, F'nland," I muttered and rushed out of the room. I had to get some space, some time to think about what had just happened.
As I shut the door behind me, I waited and listened for a moment before leaning back against it, and I sank slowly to sit on the floor in the hallway. Wow.
I felt a warm glow in my chest, though my heart seemed to ache with every beat, and I wished desperately that I was still holding him in my arms. I'm glad my first kiss was with Finland. I smiled slightly to myself, and it was only then that I realized what I'd been trying to tell him in the first place, before we'd kissed. It was so obvious I couldn't help but laugh ever so slightly under my breath as I whispered the words to myself, seeing how they felt on my tongue.
"F'nland, I love ya."
I liked the idea behind this one, but I don't know if I quite pulled it off the way I wanted. Ah well, hope you guys liked it anyways~ Thanks to theticktalks and Lycoris1305, as always!
I think I keep writing pointless, fluffy oneshots and stuff cause I'm trying out the characters and different ways of writing. But if you're patient, I'm sure I'll come up with an interesting plot someday and make a real story out of it! xD And if you happen to have any ideas you don't mind me stealing, don't hesitate to share. O.O