Why Palpatine always has a spinning chair
By:darksidesparkles
Palpatine sat alone on his throne, staring out into space. Most people would think he was thinking terrible cruel thought or planning something hideous and cruel.
But really, he was bored out of his mind. Good thing he had a solution.
He had installed it when he first became Supreme Chancellor; it was in his contract or something. It was almost as addicting as chopped baby wookies with ewok seasoning topped with Mon calamar sauce.
With out further delay he dismissed his guards for a caf break. They were pretty useless anyway. He just thought that it looked more menacing to have two guys in red follow him around with giant sticks.
He looked one way, then the other. Making sure Vader wasn't going to come barging in saying something about his son or some other nonsense. He pushed a couple of flashing buttons that were usually hidden under his big black cloak. A button appeared and steam came up around it as it came up; it was more dramatic that way.
" The Big red button of awesomeness is at your command. Oh, wise and incredibly handsome Emperor" came a female voice that sounded very familiar.
" Thank you…" he added in a whisper " Amidala.''
He pushed the big red button! The chair rose up higher in the air. The wrinkly old guy cackled happily and clapped his hands in anticipation. Metal straps went around his chest arms and legs.
" Please remain seated and keep you hand and legs in at all times, oh intelligent one."
Slowly but surely the chair started to turn…then faster and faster! The Emperor cackled violently whilst flailing his arms and legs around in delight. The chair got to a point it was spinning so fast you could barely see the wrinkled prune's face. If you could, you would see his hand over his whilst he cackled so his dentures wouldn't fall out.
The chair went for about thirty seconds then slowly stopped and was set back down.
" He ah ho who ha he he he he he he he…" laughed the cackling monster as he wiped tears from his eyes. He could wait another hour or so to do that again.
Unfortunately, the Emperor caught site of a young cadet who had come in with urgent news about something. Sidious didn't really care, because he knew everything already. Some nonsense about one of the scientists making a future seeing machine and seeing that Palpation would die really soon.
" Idiot. How long have you been standing here to wait to play a stupid joke on me!"
"B-but you highness!"
" How long?"
" I s-saw your chair b-but I-I w-won't…"
The boy soon found himself electrocuted to death then thrown down the reactor shaft with the Force. Palpatine sighed and rubbed his temples. Being evil was such hard work sometimes. He knew what make him feel better!
He reached for the big red button…