Year 5
It's been 5 years. Duh. I really miss him. Sometimes, I imagine him just... here. Lighting my world and making me feel better. I know I should move on, but I just can't.
Bye
Romano scribbled his name below his small rant, closed the leather journal, and set it aside just in time for a tanned young man to side beside him. He had brung two white plates that were not quite filled with rice.
"I took what I could." He uttered after a bout of silence between them.
Romano nodded solemnly and whispered, "Bastard." His hand slowly reached out to take his plate when another went to grasp his arm and stop it. "Antonio..." He looked at him with a puzzled expression, only to be met with a heavily concerned one.
"Y-you can't be living like this, Romano." The green eyed man stated, his Spanish accent thickly coating his English like maple syrup. "You... aren't the same. Ever... ever since..." Antonio paused and released Romano's arm. "That day, heck, that year! All you've been doing is moping!" Romano swore he saw a few tears in the corners of the Spanish man's emerald eyes. "You don't speak to anyone... or do anything else than what you're supposed to." Antonio sounded defeated, scared, worried. "You've had five years. Five. We all loved your bro-" Romano immediately looked to at his rambling friend with scornful and teary eyes. "Don't you fucking dare." He stood up, took his plate, and walked out of the lunch room. He had completely forgotten about his journal.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Five years ago, Romano had been twelve. Feliciano eleven. Both of them had been born into the facility and thus were experts at whatever drill or expectations they were supposed to meet. Although very different in personality, very little things could set them apart. But just enough to know who was who. Despite their differences, Feliciano and Romano had been inseparable.
That is why Romano's world shattered around him like the fragile glass it had always been when the news rolled around.
"Romano," His father had called to him that night. It had been a good day overall. He had gotten a hug from Antonio, one of his best friends. Which also happened to call him Lovi. And the day had been sunny, and slightly windy. Perfect weather, not a cloud in the sky. But it hadn't been great since Feli hadn't been there. He got assigned to another class. The fun one, to say the least.
"We..." The auburn haired boy instantly knew something had gone wrong, for his brave and invincible father was just standing there, shaking, like a frail leaf caught in a raging storm. And his bloodshot eyes hinted that he had been crying earlier. It ruined Romano's day. "...your brother..." Romano's eyes widened in shock. What could have happened that involved Feliciano? "He... he was... Feli..." Silence drenched their one-sided conversation as if his father were really considering what he was saying. As if he could pretend that everything was alright. As if it was all a dream.
"Is dead." A small smile played on Romano's lips as he thought of that crazy notion. A small giggle escaped his mouth which turned into laughter. His father's arm suddenly swooped down to catch his unsuspecting son's collar. The auburn haired boy's laughter abruptly stopped and his playful feeling was replaced with one of fear and concern. The guardian glared straight into his son's eyes with a seriousness so intense, it could break wood in half. "Y-you're not..." Romano gasped and instantly broke into tears. That silent, serious confirmation was enough to make him realize the truth. He sobbed along with his large guardian and hugged him tight, the hug being returned. They didn't stop sobbing until nighttime.
Romano didn't attend his dad's funeral three years after Feli's death. He didn't talk to anyone. Except Antonio, that bastard that always bugged him. Romano didn't care though. He just went through existing and not really doing anything. He didn't want to feel, or care. He didn't want to be anything.
He just wanted Feli back.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Shocked and aware, Antonio realized that maybe he had gone too far in half scolding, half concerned whining to his small friend. Which also happened to leave behind his leather notebook.
Sighing, Antonio took it and shuffled out of the cafeteria. The door didn't close behind him.
"Hola, amigos!" He swung around, faking a smile for his two friends. Francis raised an eyebrow and Gilbert frowned. "Stop ze act, Antonio." The blonde stepped forward and put his hands on his tanned friend's shoulders. "Ah... Mon Ami, you should relax for some time." The brunette opened his mouth to speak but the French hushed him before he could. "We know you have to patrol, so we'll cover for you. I'll tell the others you're sick." The blonde smiled kindly, so did Gilbert as Antonio nodded and thanked them.
Antonio followed a dusty trail to his less than cozy shack. It was still daytime, and the blazing sun seemed to burn through everything. He wiped sweat off of his forehead with the back of his calloused hand. A small smile, a genuine one, maneuvered itself onto his face, for he had been thinking about maybe taking a nap. And settling things with Lovino later, also bringing him his notebook.
His smile faded a little at the thought of the smaller man. It pained Antonio to see him so... numb and sad for five years. Soon after the death of Feliciano, Lovino had never been the same. He set walls around everyone, he avoided people and only made it out of his shack because he had to.
Speaking of shacks. Antonio was nearly there. He could see it's flat roof peeking out through the hill. He decided to run towards it in anticipation. He rocketed through the door and jumped on his cot. He always complained about the bed giving him bad sleep, but at the moment it was the only thing keeping him from falling to the ground.
His shack used to be a small barn, so hay was littered everywhere. It always cracked Antonio up to picture his albino friend, Gilbert, freaking out over the mess. It didn't bother Antonio much though. As long as he had a roof over his head and a nice place to sleep, everything was okay. Sunlight came in through the bare windows and gently lulled Antonio to sleep.
"Antonio..."
"Lovi, is that you?"
"Antonio..."
"Oh come on, is that all you can say?"
"Ant-"
"-onio!" He felt a brief sting on his left cheek. His hand groggily went up to rub it but was interrupted by another. His eye opened. Romano towered above him, holding his notebook.
Oh.
The tan man grinned and groggily sat himself up. Romano sighed in annoyance and turned away, a frown obviously expressed on his face.
"I just thought you needed to know I passed by to collect my journal."
He turned away from him and towards the door, "Bye."
"No!" Antonio yelped, scrambling to his feet and to where Romano had stopped moving.
With a small smile, the brunette pulled the forest green eyed man deeper in the house and let go when they weren't so near the exit.
"Stay, please?" When not given an answer, Antonio looked away, his hopeful expression wiped away.
More silence, but nobody moved.
"Fine."