Disclaimer: I don't own them, I didn't create them, and I certainly don't profit from them
Author's Note: This is a little Christmas and New Year's gift to all of you. Not sure how many chapters this will turn into, but I hope you enjoy the little journey.
"What is it with Christmas and people blowing up Santa?" Booth was having a serious sense of de ja vu as he sat on an exam table while Bones plucked pieces of human goo from his hair. And if people weren't blowing up Santa at Christmastime they were killing him and dumping him into a sewer after whacking him over the head with a bell. What ever happened to peace on earth and good will toward men, at least at this time of year?
"As a central figure to the secular observation of the Christmas holiday, I could see how someone might want to utilize Santa as a cover." She plucked a piece of the hyoid process and placed it into a tray where she'd been collecting the other pieces of the bombing victim.
"Only in this case, I'm pretty sure that Santa was a victim." And he was convinced that it was a Christmas miracle that Santa had been the only casualty. Whoever had planted the pressure sensitive bomb had put it right under the chair the poor guy was taking a seat at the beginning of his shift. A few moments later and it might well have taken out the hordes of people that had been waiting in line near the entrance to the mall's 'North Pole'. As for Booth, he'd been at the mall picking up a present for Parker and was walking by one of the gaps in the enclosure that made up Santa's home just as the poor bastard sat down and was blown to bits.
Brennan leaned in closely and then plucked another bit of tissue from his hair and placed it in the tray. Certainly Cam and Hodgins would want to take a look at it. "You have vascular tissue on your jacket. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to remove your clothes." It would be far easier to pluck the tissue from the fabric without Booth in it.
"Not again." There was a distinct whine in his voice. "I still need to interview Santa's elves." He really wished that he'd waited until after work to go to the mall rather than on his lunch hour. But no, he thought it would be a quick trip so he could hide the present in his office where Parker would never be able to find it. Now the present was probably evidence too and he'd have to find something else to give him for Christmas.
"You're evidence." She slid the jacket off of his shoulders and placed it in an evidence bag. "Cam and Hodgins will want to check your clothes for particulates." And given that a bomb was involved, those particulates would likely include residue that would offer clues as to what was used in making the bomb.
"And this is a new suit." He didn't want to mention that it had been an early Christmas gift from Hannah. A gift that he was never going to see again once Hodgins got his hands on it. There was something about the glee that Hodgins took to tearing things like a nice suit apart in search of bugs and slime that annoyed him.
"I'm sure you can get another one." She loosened his tie and carefully pulled it over his head before placing it in the bag with the jacket. She made a mental note of the fact that it wasn't as flashy as the ties he usually wore, no doubt a gift from Hannah. "Now I need your shirt." She simply began to unbutton it as if it were the most natural thing in the world. She glanced up and caught his eyes for a moment and smiled before turning her attention back to getting the shirt off of him.
As the shirt joined the jacket and the tie, Booth started to feel his airway constricting. This was not a position that he'd envisioned himself ever being in again and now that he was, he was sure he was going to be sent straight to Hell for the thoughts he was having. He clenched his eyes shut as he felt her fingers lay hold of his belt.
"More vascular tissue on your Cocky belt buckle." She easily unfastened it and slipped it off. As clinical as her voice sounded, she was starting to feel a little warm and a bit fuzzy at the thought that she'd really like to pull that belt of his off under entirely different circumstances. Of course there was the problem of a certain investigative reporter that was still standing in between them. She tried not to sigh as she considered if maybe this was how Booth had felt when she'd been with Sully.
"Of course there is." He was sure that his voice had pitched just a little higher and he was afraid that something else was going to pitch higher too as he felt a whoosh of air as she slid his pants down. Nothing like having a beautiful woman at eye level with his boxers as his slacks pooled around his ankles when he was still dating another beautiful woman. Hockey statistics and Catholic saints began an elaborate battle in his mind to try and distract him from the warm puffs of air hitting his nether region.
The door to the room swung open and the air seemed to suck out of the room at the surprised gasp that sounded. For once in her life, Hannah Burley was speechless. She looked from her boyfriend to his partner and back again as if she was trying to make some sense of what she was seeing.
"Hannah." Booth's voice was definitely much higher pitched than he'd intended and he took note of the single arched brow of the woman he was addressing even as he stepped out of his pants. Clearly this didn't look good, but it was all in the name of catching bad guys.
Brennan glanced up and noticed the befuddled expression on the reporter's face. "We're collecting evidence. Santa blew up on Booth."
"Evidence." Hannah looked very skeptical that collecting evidence was the only thing going on in the room. Yes, she had heard something about an explosion at a mall, she was a reporter after all. She'd just had no idea that Seeley had been involved.
Brennan straightened up and looked directly at the blond. "Yes, the more of the remnants of the victim we can find the clearer picture we'll have to solve the case." She glanced over at Booth and then leaned in, her gaze narrowing. "I think I just found a piece of fabric." The red could have been from the amount of blood, or just the velvety texture of the suit Santa was wearing. She tweezed it out of his hair and placed it in another tray.
"Should I...?" Hannah's words trailed off as she realized she wasn't sure if she should insist on staying, leave because the idea that pieces of another person were all over Seeley, or maybe offer to get some food. She immediately ruled out the third idea simply because she was starting to feel a little ill.
"Go. You should go. I'm fine." This felt more than awkward to Booth. There was a palpable tension in the room and even if he was the only one who felt it, it was still there. "Although I could use some clothes." Yes, being nearly naked with the two most important women in his life in the room was not a good thing, not when he was supposed to be dating one, but couldn't help but think about the other.
"Yes, Booth's clothes are evidence." Brennan gestured towards the bags where she'd placed them and then turned her attention back to his hair where she found a bit more goo.
"Oh." Hannah didn't like the idea of leaving them like this, but the sooner she returned with a change of clothes for him, the sooner he wouldn't be so undressed in front of Temperance. "Sure." She glanced at his festive Christmas boxers and raised an eyebrow again. "You're not going to need a complete change of clothes are you?" The implication was clear.
"No." Booth's voice pitched upwards again.
"I've removed all of the clothes we need for now." Brennan smiled sweetly at Hannah and continued her inspection of Booth's hair.
The words 'for now' made Hannah's eyes bug out a little and if she'd been a cartoon character, steam would have poured out of her ears. "Okay then, I'll be back soon."
"Thanks." Booth swallowed hard as he watched his girlfriend turn on her heels and leave. "Hannah." Her name came out after she was out of sight as he was trying to remind himself which woman it was that he was supposed to be dating as little warm puffs of Bones' breath kept hitting his neck and shoulders and chest. Yes, he was definitely going to Hell for Christmas.