Hello, this is my first and probably last story on here, thanks for reading.
Cheryl FairyPyre, or as she preferred, Cherry, was coming home from a long day of genocide in the lands on MooShu. After the pigs and elephants had declared war against the cows, she was hired to clean up their mess. So clean she did, all over those poor pigs faces. Needless to say, at the end of the day, she had plenty of bacon for breakfast tomorrow. Of course she wasn't alone on this "heroic" crusade, she was joined by her pet, Doctor Fergus and her trusty sidekick Mason Skycaster and his pet, Stinky Waffles.
They stepped into the portal and returned to Cheryl's House, because Mason was sleeping over, and they were gonna have a SLUMBER PARTY, to celebrate their victory, and bountiful breakfast. As the entered Cheryl's house, Cheryl sensed a presence she hadn't felt in a long time. There, sitting at her table, was Malistaire!
"What are you doing here you rat bastard?" Cheryl yells.
"I want to get that good puss agian Cheryl, just like in the good old days ya know?" Malistaire replied.
Malistaire started to transform, losing his age and manly, greasy features. His chest got bigger, and his hips widened, giving him a thigh gap Cheryl had always been jealous of. When he looked up again, he was no longer a he, but a she. Before them stood, HEADMASTER CRISP!
"I miss the long nights we spent together, making love like animals, wild and free. Those were better days. Days I want to experience again." Crisp whispered yearningly.
"No, you betrayed me, I'll never fall for your sweet seduction ever again." Cheryl cried.
"What the fuck." Mason shouts, confused, he had never met Malistaire before in battle, and had only known Headmaster Crisp awhile. This was all news to him. "Who the fuck, HOW THE FUCK, WHAT THE FuCk?"
"Shut up, twink." says Crisp calmly, before lifting her wand and casting the Kraken spell at Mason. He doesn't have time to react and a thunderbolt vaporizes him, leaving nothing but a pile of ash, and a hand permanently stuck with its middle finger raised.
"Now, let's go ride off into the sunset liek some basic bitches, my lover!" says Crisp passionately, rubbing her nipples furiously.
"O God, nothing gets me wetter than watching you kill my closest friend, kiss me woman!" Cheryl cries, grabbing Crisp close and kissing them furiously, suckign on their tounge.
"Oh god, how I missed this," Crisp pants between kisses "it's been far too lo- AGHGHA."
She screamed the last part because Cheryl had stabbed a 2 foot blade through her back.
"No, WHY? WHY LOVER?." Crisp cries in anguish. "Is it because of that man I killed, why, he isn't worth killing over, he's useless!"
Cheryl leans in really close, and whispers in Crisp's ear, " I dont give a fuck about him, but you killed Stinky Waffles, and he was my lover, and that I can't forgive."
"Y-you fucked a li-lizard? Thats fucked man." and with that Crisp dies.
"Meh, there's more fucked up things going on. Like how Im ten. You just molested a ten year old. That's pretty fucked. Lol." Cheryl says to nobody in particular.
Cheryl stands up, picks up the body and takes it downstairs to her lab. She puts it in the center of a complex runic circle, etched into the stone floor, in the middle of her workspace. She lets her followers out of their chains, and out of the dungeons, and command them to start a chant. As they chant she performs complex magic, and suddenly all her followers explode in a bloody shower. The blood is absorbed into the body, and it glows with power. The Cheryl steps into the circle, and sets a bottle down on the floor, then uses magic to turn the power filled body into a liquid, and puts it in the bottle. She takes the bottle upstairs to the kitchen. Where she mixes a bottle of Vodka, a vial of Merle Ambrose's semen, and the bottle of Magic body she just made, into a blender. She blends it for thirty seconds, then takes it out and puts it in a shot glass. She drinks it.
"Oooooooooooooo yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Now there's that high I love."
Unfortunately it fades in ten seconds, and she is left a little tired and bored. Cheryl wanders off.
THE END.