Author's Note://

Warnings: angst/tragedy, spoilers for chapters 40 onwards, and a touch of shounen-ai.

Happiness: a state of well-being and contentment

Bittersweetness: being at once bitter and sweet; especially : pleasant but including or marked by elements of suffering or regret a bittersweet ballad

Written: August 12, 2009

Summary: Edward does some reflecting on his fate as well as Roy's, Winry's and Al's as well as Mustang's team.

Exchange of Happiness and Bittersweetness

He'd always believed in the Law of Equivalent Exchange. That was, until the day he learned what he had lost was for no reason. What he and his brother had lost, his brother so much more. But, he believed he could somehow regain what was lost, revive, stimulate, the ending they longed for. And that was if they lived, if everything turned out all right. Yet, he knew, that there was no such thing as a happy ending, just a bittersweet one, one that could very possibly lead to more tragedy. As if he needed anymore of that. He remembered his fire at the beginning the burning desire to retrieve everything that had been lost, believed that the Philosopher's Stone could bring him and his brother back. But knowing that it claimed lives, he couldn't use it, he knew he wouldn't sacrifice innocent lives to gain what he wanted. He didn't need those limbs of his, he had automail, working automail in fact. Though, his brother could live eternally if it was so destined, he was a time bomb, just waiting. Waiting for that opportune moment. If he could get his brother's body back, all wrongs would become rights. Except for the fact it wouldn't be equivalent exchange, he would most likely need to sacrifice himself. Even if he did die, his brother would have the mechanic, and the rest of the Colonel's team, and the Colonel himself. Grandma would be there as well, and perhaps their father. Thinking wouldn't get him anywhere, thinking of his death would only foretell it; he had to believe he would live, be able to see his brother's smiling face, see him laughing , enjoying eating, sleeping, being able to feel. Be able to tease the Colonel, to spar with him, enjoy their talks, their plans, to live. And what about his mechanic who would tune up his automail, or whack him with a wench if he did something "stupid". Wouldn't he miss Grandma's meals, even though he claimed that he could care less? He would he absolutely knew he would . This conclusion he came to, he also knew, was the truth. And this conclusion, would it allow him the freedom he ached for? Not having to worry for a moment more? But it was true. He'd decided, he would live, and live with happiness. This also, he'd accepted. He smiles, a good smile, and looks out the window, seeing the falling snow, drifting to the earth in little flakes. The cloud cover blocked the sun, but when the sun shone, it would shine so much brighter, be much more beautiful. He had made up his mind then, and he lived it through, still lived, despite the loss. The soft ksshhh of a door opening drew his attention. And there he stood framed in all his glory, the navy blue blending perfectly with his black hair. As the man went to speak, he interrupted sharply, "Do you miss her, do you miss them?"
"They were friends, so I do miss them."

"It's bittersweet, nostalgic. I can't forgot them, or erase them from my mind."

"Yes, that may be true, and didn't they die for what we have. They already knew, as well as you or I their fate. But that doesn't make it any less painful."

"I'm glad. I'm so unbelievably glad that you're here, that you lived. That I'm finally home."

"Welcome back, Major Edward Elric, The Fullmetal Alchemist," Fuhrer Roy Mustang the Flame Alchemist replied.