Savior
A Cardfight! Vanguard oneshot
Summary: Kai Toshiki contemplates his actions after his fight with Aichi. He didn't mean those words. He didn't mean any of them. He didn't want this to happen. But, it had to be done . . . to protect him. Spoilers for Episode 154, Kai's POV, one-shot (one chapter)
I hadn't thought much about the afterlife. Even when my parents died, even when myriads upon myriads of relatives and family friends bombarded me with statements such as "Don't worry, your parents are in heaven", I never really thought about my life after this world. But, the last couple of months have prompted the subject constantly. Will I be sent to Heaven? Will I be sent to Hell? Or will I be sent to Limbo?
Aichi . . . Miwa . . . all of them. They've accused me of being brainwashed, of not caring at all, as if that's the sin I've been carrying with me.
"Kai, why would you choose to do something like this?"
They've accused me of threatening the world. They've accused me of not understanding what I was doing. But, how would they react if they knew I was doing this to save them, I wonder.
I had to give up everything – my beliefs, my relationships – just so I could experience reverse, experience Link Joker first hand, so I could destroy it from the inside. While I felt behind Ren and Aichi, gaining strength to catch up to the both of them wasn't the main reason why I chose to be reversed. I chose to be reversed because I wanted to be useful, I wanted to feel needed.
I wanted to defeat Link Joker. That's what I wanted to do.
Remembering Takuto's instructions to "promptly return as soon as I defeated Aichi", I began to walk faster, past the elaborate business rooms, meeting rooms, until I eventually reached the elevator. Pressing the up button, I didn't have to wait long until the doors opened. I stepped inside and pressed the floor number where Takuto was waiting, no doubt with his widescreens set up to watch not only my every move, but every other reverse fighter's move.
Those damn screens.
When I had arrived on Takuto's floor, I was met by the two maids who, without a word, led me to his study. I've been in this building plenty of times before, so by now, almost every person on the wait-staff here has recognized me. Since I'm one of the "prized" reverse fighters, according to him, they have taken measures to make sure I was comfortable, that I would be okay for the next mission that he wanted me to complete.
I guess I should explain. Ever since I chose to be reversed, I had been forced to live at Tatsunagi Corporation instead of my own apartment just a few blocks away. Not all reverse fighters have to live here, just the "prized" ones, the ones that aren't mindless, such as myself. "It's a safety precaution," I was told, "a precaution to protect you." The first couple of days after being reversed, I was forced to go to school, to Hitsue High, for normalcy's sake, so no one suspects anything. Eventually, I was pulled out after a week. "Link Joker's mission," Takuto had said, "is too vital to be pushed back by your worldly education."
And that was that.
Of course, when I did go to school, it's not as if nothing happened. People moved out of my way as I walked through the halls to class; that was nothing new. But, Miwa, Morikawa, and Izaki had noticed something was off; something about their "peaceful" lives had changed – or more accurately, Miwa noticed and the other two just went along with his premonition. I had underestimated that ability of his.
"Kai! Kai, what's gotten into you?!" Miwa shouted one day. "You keep blowing us off!"
"Just leave me alone," I responded, "It's none of your business."
"Wha - ? Kai!"
I should have known better than to interact with him. So I decided to evade him and the other two completely. But like I said, I wasn't in school but for a week, so I didn't have to worry about that for much longer.
I had bigger things to worry about, anyway.
Upon arriving at the door to Takuto's room, I pulled the handle and pushed the door open to find Takuto – as I suspected – watching his damn screens, no doubt being amused by what he was seeing. Not much time had passed before he stiffened and turned his chair around until he was looking at me straight in the eye.
"Ah, Kai Toshiki. I see you remembered to come here. Good work. Aichi may not have been reversed completely, but he's in a state where if he tries to resist further, he'll die. Much better than I had imagined!" Takuto guffawed.
I could feel every muscle in my body tighten, my hands clenching, and my face struggling to maintain the composure that I had to keep in front of him.
"What did you say?!"
Aichi . . . was dying?
No, that couldn't be true. It just couldn't be.
He was supposed to be in a coma.
He was supposed to be all right, but in a coma.
He was supposed to survive, but be away from Takuto.
He was supposed to be safe.
"Kai," Takuto responded, looking confused at my reaction, probably, "of all people, I expected you to be happy about this. What in the world could possibly be the problem?"
"You said he'd be all right!" I finally shouted, unable to maintain the perfect reversed fighter image that Takuto had expected of me. "You said he'd be all right! You said he'd be in a coma, at worst, if he lost to me! You lied to me!"
His face shifted from being confused to being amused almost at my outburst. Was this just all a big game to him? This guy pisses me off. He was willing to break his promise just so his precious Link Joker can cripple the entire world. Sickening. "You actually remember that?" he finally responded. "I just said that because I wasn't sure of your loyalty to Link Joker yet. But you appeared to have wanted to defeat Sendou Aichi and Suzugamori Ren at all costs, even if it meant death so I thought the deal would no longer be relevant to you."
At the mention of "appeared", for some reason, I began to chuckle uncontrollably, and when he was finished with his sentence, I started to laugh uncontrollably. I lost control of not only my image, but of my emotions. I felt the familiar burning sensation within my body, the familiar feeling of reverse taking over me.
He fell for it, he fell for it, he fell for it . . .
"It worked, it worked, it worked, it worked . . ." I whispered, chuckling in between words, a sinister grin creeping on face.
"What are you saying?" he finally asked.
I straightened until I was standing properly after nearly falling over from laughing too much. This guy was completely clueless the entire time. My plan had worked, all along.
"You're right about two things, Takuto," I said. I glanced at one of the screens by Takuto's chair, the one that showed Aichi, clearly struggling to hang on to his life, causing me to shift my facial expression from one of being humored to being concerned. "You're right; I appeared to do what you wanted and I appeared to have wanted to take down Ren and Aichi in front of your screens and your radars. But not for the reasons you think."
He looked at me with an inquisitive, worried look in his eyes. "Enlighten me, Kai Toshiki."
I was able to diminish my laughter, but I still wasn't able to stop chuckling completely when I said, "Unfortunately, many people have fallen because of my plan. I realize that. However, they won't have fallen in vain . . ." I broke out a laugh, " . . . because I've found a way to defeat you!"
Takuto didn't respond for a while, but when he realized what I was doing, he distorted his face into an unsightly expression, and cackled, "Oh? So you sacrificed your friends just so you could defeat me? You're an idiot. Isn't that technically worse than being reversed to take vengeance on someone you know, someone you env-?"
"No," I responded, cutting him off, realizing what he was saying. "My friends may have been hurt because of me, but I did it to protect them, especially . . . especially Aichi."
"To protect . . . Aichi? Ha!" He laughed, hand on his forehead. "Some good that did. If he even takes a deep breath, the kid will die. May I remind you that you're the reason he's like that now? The reason that he's going to die if he even thinks of fighting again?"
Even if I had realized that before, the words struck me like daggers to the heart. I closed my eyes to keep myself under control, to keep myself from having another emotional outburst. It's true. I didn't foresee Aichi being in the predicament he's in, I didn't foresee his strong will to "save" me. I didn't foresee any of that. All this time, I only thought about what I wanted to have accomplished. I threw away everything to obtain this strength, the strength to defeat Link Joker, to defeat Takuto.
And by everything, I also see that meant I threw away Aichi when I shouldn't have.
When protecting him was the reason I chose to be reversed.
"You're right, Takuto," I finally spoke. "You're right. It's my fault. But . . . if Aichi were to die, at least it will be by the hands he knew."
Sendou Aichi.
He has risked his life over and over again. Not only to save the world from Ren when he was possessed by Psyqualia or from Leon when he was possessed by Void, people he didn't really know, but just so I could find him worthy. Which is a huge mistake. I should be the last person he should be seeking acknowledgment from.
I was supposed to be his protector, his savior.
I made that promise. Before this all began.
But every time I tried to protect him, I would always the one being rescued by him.
But, at least, this way, Aichi will . . .
"Really interesting, Kai Toshiki!" Takuto exclaims, a hint of laughter in his voice. "However, unless you defeat me, all of this will be in vain. You chose to be reversed for nothing, you put Aichi's life in danger for nothing."
"Maybe so," I responded, "but at least his life, his very existence, won't be in danger because of you, Takuto. Not again."
"Heh . . ." he glanced up at his screens again and closed his eyes. "I hope you don't expect to go to Heaven, Kai Toshiki. Not after what you've done."
"Oh, not to worry. I've been assigned to Hell already," I reassured him, closing my eyes.
"Mama! Mama! Don't die!" I continued to cry. But she was already buried, deep under the ground. At some point, I realized it was useless; she was dead, like Papa, and there was nothing I could do.
It was the day of the funeral. My parents have long been buried, but, as a child, I refused to believe that they had died. This was some cruel joke. A cruel joke sent by God. Life had been improving for us, finally. Papa got a job, a well-respected job, which meant we had more money. He even said we could take a vacation for once. We were supposed to leave next month.
"There was nothing you could have done," they had told me. "They were dead by the time we got there."
"Mama . . . Papa . . ."
I felt useless. Powerless even.
If I had been there, they would still be alive, wouldn't they?
"Toshiki."
I looked up to see my uncle, dressed in his finest suit, his face grim and unshaved.
"You're coming to live with us."
Of course they wouldn't have let me live by myself. But for some reason, the news had shocked me terribly. My uncle and his family lived pretty far away – they lived close to Tokyo. That meant I had to leave my school, leave the friends that I had made.
Leave that boy.
Who was going to protect him if I left? Certainly, Miwa doesn't know who he is. And all the other kids will just make fun of him.
Who was going to protect that boy?
If I had stayed by Aichi's side, like I had promised to myself, would any of this had happened? Why did I give him Blaster Blade if I wasn't going to keep my own damn promise to myself?
Why couldn't I save Aichi?
Why didn't I have the strength to protect him?
Why?
"Well, in that case . . ." Takuto snapped his fingers, and all of a sudden, a burst of energy rushes to my chest, causing it to hurt. I collapsed to the ground and took in big gulps of air, trying to get it into my lungs, but it only made the pain worse.
"D-Damn you, Takuto . . ." I managed to get out.
"Your plan is valiant, Kai Toshiki," he said, "Pretend that you're going after Aichi and Ren after becoming reversed because you knew I was watching, but, really, it was to find Link Joker's weakness, wasn't it? All because you don't want that boy to be in danger. But, it's useless. You'll never defeat me. Not as you are. And Aichi is going to die. Because of you."
"S-Stop it . . ." I whispered.
"Even if you chose to be reversed, I control whether you live or die. So it was all in vain, Kai Toshiki. You failed."
"Shut up!"
I swore to myself that I wouldn't die. Not until I defeated Takuto. Not until I was sure Aichi wouldn't have to face him.
I could feel my face burn . . . but it was a good kind of burn. All of a sudden, the pain in my chest was gone, and I could breathe again. It was definitely still my reverse power, but it wasn't painful anymore.
Takuto must have noticed something too because his expression changed completely to one of disgust and surprise. "What?!"
"I swore to take you down, Takuto! I swore to take you down to protect him!" I shouted. "I'm going to take you down, with the Link Joker power you gave me!"
Aichi. I messed up. I've become such a monster.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.