Thought: Have I mentioned I started something new? One that I'm really excited about. Thanks for opening, I hope you enjoy;
You know very well who you are,
Don't let them hold you down,
Reach for the stars...
Flashing lights outside the apartment woke up the single mother of four. Her heart dropped in her chest as she had immediate fears of what they could possibly mean.
A hundred scenarios ran through her head as she got out of bed, anticipating a loud knock that would probably wake up the sleeping toddler. She advanced towards the kitchen and flipped the lights on, waiting for the police officer to knock.
She opened the door as quickly as she could, preventing more than one loud bang. She was tired and just wanted to go back to bed. There stood a police officer she'd met ample times before with her sixteen year old son. She'd known many of the officers; Carlos's own father was once an officer till he was shot and in a coma in the hospital for the past seven years. They had been divorced but it still took a toll on the entire family. The woman sighed. "What he do this time, Charlie?"
"Caught him and Dak Zevon throwing rocks at windows to the abandoned asylum on Butcher. Dak had about two grams of marijuana on his person. We had to take him down to the station. We're letting Carlos off with a warning because he was clean. I know it's hard, Sylvia, especially with Carl…" Deep down, they all knew Carlos got off with a warning because the entire police force had known him since he was an infant.
She looked heartbroken for a moment, but she couldn't allow herself to show weakness. She was tired and frustrated and didn't want to deal with the situation right then. "Get inside," she ordered her son, who gladly obeyed. He'd much rather have his mother than Charlie; his least favorite officer on the force. The man was harsh; even the talk over to the apartment made Carlos want to die of pure disappointment. Carlos slipped inside and went to the fridge, looking for leftover dinner that he'd missed out on.
"I'm trying," Sylvia said to the police officer. "He just doesn't listen. I say no, he says yes. I say don't, he just does. You know how he is…I just can't get through to him."
He sighed. "I know. There is an alternative. We've talked about it."
"I know, I know I just…" she couldn't help but look back at him. He was her baby; her first born, her only child for eleven years. She didn't want to give him up.
"Really think about it, Sylvia. Where will he be if he stays on this path?"
She couldn't help but be heartbroken. That was her boy, that was her baby. Her option…may have been her only one. "I just, I can't, I - I …can we talk about this later? When it's not two in the morning?"
The police officer nodded. "Of course," he said. "Try to keep him out of trouble, okay?"
She nodded. "Thank you."
He gave a quick nod before leaving, and she closed the door and turned to him. She wasn't angry, she couldn't be, not when she was thinking about losing him. She stood there pathetically and held her arms out, closing her eyes and waiting for him to embrace her. His warmth soothed her and she instantly wanted to just go lay down; she wanted to hold her baby tight and never let him go. She wanted him to be two years old again, when everything was so much easier. When he just wanted his mommy.
She sniffed once, and let him go. "Go to bed," she said. "Don't forget to turn the lights out before you do," and she headed off to bed herself, where her youngest, her two year old, was asleep, only wanting his mommy. She hoped to God that Leo wouldn't end up like Carlos. And it broke her heart even harder to think that she hadn't raised him to be a role model. She fucked up, and she knew it. She couldn't fix him on her own.
Carlos sat at the table with his leftovers; he just wanted to have a little fun. When Dak said, "let's just hang out. It'll be cool, we won't get in trouble." it was fine. When he met up with Dak, and Dak had seven other people with him who all wanted to go in the abandoned asylum late at night and make a 'movie,' he knew it wasn't going to end well.
They went in the asylum for a few hours; the went down at eight and they locked themselves in. It was kind of cool, in a way, yet extremely creepy. Especially because of the graveyard with hundreds of marked and unmarked tombs and the creepy noises they kept hearing. Carlos was done around eleven; he admitted that he was "shit pissed scared" and that he wanted "to get the fuck out of here, now." Dak agreed; the two boys left the asylum, got high, and somehow started hucking rocks at the windows.
They didn't even realize they were doing it.
They didn't even realize when the police car pulled up beside them. Carlos was lucky it was Charlie, but he was dreading it. He hated disappointing people, he just couldn't help it. Carlos was dependent, you know? He didn't really know what to do with himself, so he followed his friends. Dak was his best friend, so he followed whatever he did. He didn't know what he'd do without Dak.
Charlie was already shaking his head….it sucked. Carlos would never forget that feeling he felt in his stomach. It was disgusting to him. He wanted to change, he really did, but he just…couldn't. it was his way of life, it was all he knew. How the hell could he just stop hanging out with Dak? How could he just stop smoking pot? How could he just change his life? He didn't want to go through that again.
He put his dishes in the fridge and he put the leftovers back in the fridge. He also forgot to turn the lights off when he went to bed.
When he woke up, his four year old brother, Randy, was in his room, on the floor, with a Tonka truck. "…what are you doing?" he asked tiredly.
"Playing Tonka's," he replied.
"Why in here?"
He shrugged. "Cause I love you."
Carlos just put his head back down. "Just keep it quiet, okay?"
"Okay," the little boy replied excitedly. Carlos did love his younger siblings; they were really sweet and caring, just compassionate little beings. Their happiness was highly contagious, their laughter filled the room. Carlos was sometimes easily annoyed by their natural childhood questions, and the fascinating tantrums that come with being a child, he did adore his siblings.
Randy had a twin; Andrew. They were unplanned, but in the same sense, Carlos was unplanned, too…and so was Leo. It was a huge change for Carlos; he'd been eleven when they were born, and he didn't get just one new sibling, he got two. If it wasn't one, it was the other. Randy this, Andrew that. Carlos didn't like that his mom didn't have time to help him do his homework, so he just didn't do it. He didn't like that his mom didn't go to parent meetings anymore, and so he just stopped being good. Then, he met Dak. When he was bad, his mom just said, "Don't do it again," but, he would always do it again, and the same thing would always be said.
She would warn him, and warn him, but she would never have time to punish him because she was so busy with the new twins. It didn't help that she had Leo when they were both going through terrible two's, but by then Carlos was used to it. Well, not only was he used to it, he expected it. It was just the way of life. He was used to it. This was how it was going to be.
He laid in bed for a few minutes before getting up and taking a shower; it was Saturday afternoon and he was going to see if Dak was out of jail. Dak answered the door and let him in, telling him the story, of how Charlie let him out on the circumstances that he knew you, and that if he, as in Dak, promised he would be a better person, the whole "sphiel."
They stayed at Dak's house for a while, just playing video games in his room. They wanted to stay out of trouble, but neither could be cooped up inside for too long. Dak's mom warned them not to leave the backyard, but Carlos kicked the ball too hard and it went over the fence, so they had to get it.
And it took them thirty minutes to find it.
Then Carlos saw a bunny and wanted to chase it, and the next thing they knew, they were about thirty minutes away from Dak's house, in a town where they didn't belong in, with a neon pink ball that belonged to a five year old girl, chasing a bunny. Dak had suddenly paused when he realized what was happening.
"Carlos!" he said. "Stop."
Carlos obeyed immediately and turned to Dak. The car had already pulled out and had guns out. Dak hated this side of town; people did this for fun; they were especially going to do it if they thought something suspicious, which, they probably were. Dak and Carlos had no reason to be where they were; they didn't belong there, so they were going to be taken out.
The guns fired; the boys ducked, hoping they wouldn't get hit. That was all they could do. Carlos felt it surge through his shoulder, but he kind of liked it. It was pressure; it was relieving all of the crap he'd felt lately; his dad, his family, this life… It was like it released it all from inside of him. But that was not the case.
Dak didn't get hit, but he sure hated the fact that Carlos did. He had to call the emergency hotline, and fast. The ambulance arrived quickly, and so did the cop. Dak had to stay and tell what happened as his best friend was being rushed away in an ambulance. He couldn't believe this was happening.
Another person that couldn't believe it was happening was Sylvia Garcia. She cried the entire time she was driving to the hospital. This was the last thing she wanted; she couldn't believe this. What did she do to deserve this? Her worry and stress was revolting, the shit this woman had to go through was disgusting. She did it, though. But she couldn't do it anymore. She didn't want to hear that her baby had been shot.
"Carlos," she breathed upon seeing him. "This…I can't handle this anymore."
Carlos looked up at her, his eyes tired from drugs. "I'm sorry," he said. "This wasn't supposed to happen."
"I know that," she said. "…Carlos. Charlie thinks it'd be a good idea for you to spend a year in a group home. When he hears about this…there's going to be an investigation. Things are going to go his way this time…"
"I don't care," he grumbled tiredly.
"You don't care?"
"Do with me what you want," he said. "I don't care."
"If you don't care, then I don't care."
"Fine."
"Fine."
However, it wasn't fine on the day it happened. Mrs. Garcia did it; she talked to Charlie and Carlos was going for a year. She couldn't let him get hurt again, she couldn't let him live his life the way he was. The track he was on needed to shift, and she was finally taking the initiative to change that.
She stayed strong when she had to, but it was the hardest thing she ever had to do. He was kidding, Carlos said. It's not fine, I care, he said. "Please don't leave me here." She wanted to burst into tears when he said that, but she didn't. She had already decided this had to happen and she was going to do whatever it took.
"You're going to be rooming with Kendall, James and Logan," said Tim, one of the staff 'advisors' at the group home called Mother Masters or, as the boys called it, M&M's. M&M's was ran by twelve different staff members, including a social worker, a personal therapist, and resource officer. There were always at least three staff members on, and they rotated periodically, taking different shifts with the boys that lived there.
When Carlos moved in, Tim, Carrie, and Chris were the staff members on. Carlos made the eighth boy that was living at M&M's, and he filled the last spot. There were three bedrooms; one that fit four boys, another that fit four boys, and a third that was for the staffs. All the boys were called into the living room, and were forced to introduce himself to the new house member. They weren't exactly thrilled; they all seemed miserable, the only one that didn't was a little, pale brunette that kept close with the tall blond.
"Boys," Carrie said, "Introduce yourselves."
"Kane," said the one with the scar on his face.
"Jared," said the one who was also short and had a slightly pointy nose.
"James," said the one who was tall, tan, and pretty.
"Lyle," said the one who was also tall, and tan, but he wasn't pretty…he was just hot.
"Corey," said the one with a baby face and really dark hair.
"I'm Logan," said the little pale one.
"I'm Kendall," said the dominant blond.
Carlos, being the jokester, said, "I'm Carlos. I guess I'm the eighth M&M. Can I be green?"
There was a slight hesitation till all the boys burst out laughing. Carlos didn't care if they were laughing at him, or with him, but either way, he got them to laugh. Mission accomplished.
Note: I've got the next two done. Next is more James centered, then Logan, then it's gonna be Kendall. That's when the story will begin, like, the 'journey'. thanks for reading!(: