Amnesia? Is that my name?

AU, sorta. Ulquiorra lost her memory. All of it. She should still be the same old Cuarto Espada, right?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm back with another story! Only this time, I'm writing my preferred genre, CRACK! This is one of my personal masterpieces. It will, eventually, be a GrimmUlqui love story, but not yet . . . I'm going to make Grimmjow suffer and beg for his reward . . .

Grimmjow: Reward?! I get a fucking reward for being in this shit?!

Yes. I am not so cheap as to derive you of payment for suffering.

Grimmjow: What do I get?

. . . –points to door-

-Ulquiorra walks in wearing a dress-

Grimmjow: -laughing-

Ulquiorra, you may do the honors . . .

Ulquiorra: Chasingyesterday doesn't own anything or anyone from Bleach. Thank Aizen . . . She does however own the idea of a female amnesiac me. And apparently a picture of Grimmjow sleeping in a basket . . .

"She'll be fine. Maybe a little shaky, but Ulquiorra will make a full recovery. She'll be fine." Szayel assured his master, Aizen. He let out a satisfied grunt and left the Cuarta's room.

"So is Emo gonna wake up soon? Or is Sleeping Beauty gonna be comatose forever?" Grimmjow asked the pink haired Octavo as he sauntered into Ulquiorra's room. "Yes, Ulquiorra-sama will be fine. She'll be waking up soon."Szayel informed the Sexta. A small groan rose from the female's lips. "See? She'll be back to normal in no time!" the Grantz cried.

Grimmjow gazed at Ulquiorra with a frown on his lips. Great. His worst enemy was still alive. He stormed out of the room, sneering. Aizen would get his favorite toy back. Ulquiorra would be back to her old self, calling him trash. All was well, happily-ever-after. Whoopdy-freakin-do.

Each arrancar was required to watch Ulquiorra for a few nights, while Szayel rested, since he was the 'doctor'. Grimmjow had sat at the raven haired girl's bedside several times, just watching her sleep. It was infuriatingly boring. "Grimmjow, it's your turn to Ulqui-sit." Harribel informed him as she walked by. The Sexta grumbled, worst chore EVER.

7:00 sharp, Grimmjow arrived at the white door with the black 4 painted on it. He knocked on it roughly, shouting, "Szayel! I'm Ulqui-sitting tonight!" Ulqui-sitting was the name bestowed upon the tedious chore. The scientist opened the door and walked out, "Just don't kill her. And call me if she begins to stir." With that, Szayel stared off to his own room for some shut eye.

Their rooms were all the same. A bed, a closet, a lamp, a nightstand, a small wooden chair and a desk. The male Espada plopped down in it and gazed lazily at the sleeping girl.

The IV needle that penetrated the fragile white skin of the crook of her elbow glittered in the lamp's soft light. The IV was her source of nourishment during her coma. It kept her pitiful life going. An oxygen tube was hitched to her nose too. Grimmjow snorted, pathetic, clinging to life like she was.

The pale young arrancar moaned and murmured something in her sleep. Grimmjow, to his amazement, saw the green tear track tattoos on her cheeks glisten. Ulquiorra Ciffer was crying. She shuddered violently, but made no other drastic movements. "Must be a nightmare." he grunted. Still, it was strange to see Ulquiorra display any emotions. But she was in a coma . . .

Hours later Ulquiorra let out a loud gasp. Moments later she began to stir. The Sexta ran out Ulquiorra's door and across the hall to room #8. "Szayel, she waking up!" Grimmjow yelled as he pounded on the Octavo's door. He ran back a moment later, Szayel in tow. When they got there, Ulquiorra's eyes fluttered open. Big emerald orbs gazed at the ceiling. Ulquiorra struggled to sit. Grimmjow, being closer, helped his superior sit up. She smiled.

Ok, something was wrong there.

"Thank you . . . uhhhh . . . Do I know you?" Ulquiorra's voice held genuine emotion. Yup, something was definitely wrong. "I'm Grimmjow . . ." The Sexta told the girl. She giggled, "That's a funny name!"

"Amnesia! Oh crap!" Szayel nearly screamed. "Amnesia? Is that my name?" Ulquiorra asked, confusion placed on her face. "No, you're name is Ulquiorra Ciffer, the Cuarto Espada. Does that ring a bell?"

Ulquiorra adopted a thoughtful look, "Nope! Sorry, no bell. Should it?" Szayel moaned. "Wait!" Ulquiorra suddenly shouted, "I'm pretty sure that Espada means 'sword' . . ." Szayel smacked his forehead. Grimmjow stifled his laughter with his hand.

Life was good.

Hahaha! I have this fic ALL planned out. Amazing, no? Hope you enjoyed the beginning! R&R or else! I'll send my buddies to hunt you down . . .

Grimmjow: Who?

You would, on catnip . . .

Grimmjow: Catnip?

Zetsu . . .

Grimmjow: Catnip?!

Kakuzu, if I paid him . . .

Grimmjow: CATNIP?!

Oh! And Axel if I kidnapped Roxas for ransom.

Grimmjow: CATNIP!! I WANT SOME NIP! GIMME MEH NIP!

I don't have catnip. (lying) The reviewers do. Maybe if you're nice to them, they'll share.

Grimmjow: I promise I won't kill you if you give me some nip!

Review please!

Grimmjow: . . . nip?

Ulquiorra has some.

Ulquiorra: What? I do not have any-

Grimmjow: CATNIP!! –Tackles Ulquiorra-

-Takes photo- Blackmail . . . Muwahahahahahaha! R&R! (I know I'm mad)