A/N: Christmas is finally here and the unthinkable happened in November. I never imagined that our own Joss Carter would've died, and I still have trouble believing it. I have hope though, that somehow they could bring her back. What the hell Nolan.! Joss should've been around until the end. Even if you had a vision for the end of the show doesn't mean you couldn't have changed it. The writers better get their shit together and realize what they did. They need her back. Anyways sorry for that rant. I do still love my favorite show, but I love the character aspect of it, not the machine part of it.

This fic goes out to the one and only Stacey.. iheartsSchules on and xxsmsgirlxx on tumblr. You're beautiful writing inspired me to write Person of Interest fics, and your belief in me that I could do it motivated me to post them. Thank you so much for being my friend, and always being there for me. I love you.3 I tried my best to voice John and Joss like you do, (you make them sound so real to the show) and I think I did pretty well! Part 1 of 2 of your gift! Merry Christmas!

Disclaimer: I do not own Person of Interest, I just write about it. If I did own POI, Joss Carter would still be alive and no one would've died in The Crossing. Screw you Nolan! Long Live Careese and the Carter Cavalry!

Christmas at the safe house was a bit more somber this year Finch had to admit. It was warm from the fireplace, and smelled like gingerbread from the cookies, but losing one of their closest allies, Detective Carter, had been detrimental to Team Machine and to John specifically. They had gained Shaw and Root as reliable assets, but the heart of the team was missing.

Everyone was present and accounted for this Christmas except Detective Fusco who was at home with Lee understandably. Miss Shaw dressed up for the holiday wearing a nice red sweater contrary to her usual black attire; while Miss Groves was as happy as a lark talking with The Machine, but still making conversation with the rest of the group when the time came.

John was a different story though. He sat on the corner sofa next to the Christmas tree making himself secluded from everyone else. He was wearing his classic white shirt, top jacket removed, shoulders slumped with his elbows on his knees. John hadn't shaved since Joss' death and his hair wasn't slicked back either. His usual sharp blue eyes had dimmed over the past month and John's face was always a bit red and puffy from crying. Harold could tell he was not taking it well and he tried everything he could to comfort the man, but nothing seemed to help. Mr. Reese had buried himself in the numbers. Doing the bare minimal, but it was something. Shaw seemed to pick up the slack for him though.

John kept his eyes on the ground most of the time, giving one word answers when he needed. As he sat on the sofa he rubbed Bear behind the ears. Reese felt like the Belgian Malinois was the only thing he could connect with these days. After Joss dying on that street corner, in his arms, he didn't feel the need to live on anymore. Why couldn't he be on time? Why hadn't The Machine given her number out quicker? It frustrated John that the ones he cared about always died. First Jessica, now Joss. Carter meant so much to him and before he even got to take her out on a night on the town she was stripped away.

His nights were long, usually thinking about her, their banter, all the times they spent together, his final moments with her, he cried every night not caring what anyone thought anymore. One thing he did know was that if he had to live, it'd be for her. Every decision he made, every shot he took, every number he saved had to be for Joss. If he took his own life now he knew Carter would be irate with him. She would want him to keep going and he was going to try.

"Hey Reese, wanna bet if the next number is the victim or perpetrator?" Shaw asked, "I'll buy drinks if I'm wrong, you do if you're wrong."

"I wouldn't advise that," Harold rang in his disapproval.

Root spoke up then, "How about I just ask The Machine and she'll tell me."

Sam gave her the side eye, "No cheating Root." Then she turned her attention back to Reese, "So what do you say John? You in?"

"Sure Shaw," John replied in a low whisper then returned his attention to Bear.

"I'm putting my money on the perp then because I wanna kneecap his…" Just as Sameen was finishing her statement the door opened atop the small staircase. John didn't look up, still skulking in his corner.

"No way," Shaw said in astonishment with a smirk on her face, "And I thought I had nine lives."

Jocelyn Carter stood in the doorway, her hair down and straightened. She was wearing a dark navy knit sweater that clung to her in all the right places and paired it with some grey slacks.

Joss took a deep breath with a small smile on her face. Her attention on only one man in the room. "Hey John," she said in a quiet voice.

He heard her first. "It can't be," he told himself. John shook his head as tears welled up in his eyes. She had such a strong effect on him ever since the first day they met. It's impossible, she died right in my arms. He dared to look up, and as if an angel flew in from Heaven, his angel, his Detective, his Joss, was standing before him. Her brown eyes glistening towards his as a smile lit up her face. John's hand slid from Bear's head and met his mouth as tears started slipping down his cheeks. He stood, but couldn't move his legs from the shock he was in.

Joss stepped down the three stairs and walked over to John. She wrapped her arms around his solid form and he reciprocated immediately, shutting his eyes and taking in her smell, her form, her everything.

She stood on her tip toes and whispered in his ear, "You couldn't lose me that easily, John. I'm stuck with you remember?" He held her even tighter after that. Joss had used his words he had said to her before he left that morgue as a distraction for her. She always remembered the little things.

Joss loosened her grip on him after a bit and looked up at John. He grabbed her hand immediately and pulled her into the adjoining bedroom close to the living room to give them a bit more privacy. "Excuse me," Reese said.

"Nice to have you back Detective!" Harold yelled their way.

"Glad to be back, Finch."

John sat down on the bed wiping his eyes as Carter shut the door.

"Are you okay John?" She asked with concern staring at a picture on the dresser near the door.

"Okay? Joss, how? I...just...you were…"

She turned towards him, "Dead?" She paused, "I know. I had to fake it to make sure Simmons and HR went down once and for all. The FBI was behind it all. They got me the right equipment and supplies, I had to put it into play."

In silence and awe John simply stared at her, still taking in how she was alive. Joss sat down next to him on the bed and looked at his appearance. "I see my passing changed your shaving habits." She touched his beard.

"I couldn't live without you Joss, and I still can't." He replied stunned with his own word choice. John never felt so bare in his life, just laying everything out there, but he learned sometimes you don't have enough time, people you care about can slip away.

She grabbed his beaten hands and held them in hers. "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you, but I had to leave for a few weeks to let the dust settle. You didn't get into too much trouble I hope."

He shook his head allowing more tears to fall. Joss gently slid her thumbs across his cheeks as she stared into John's hurt eyes.

"I'm here now alright? And I can stay with you as long as you need. Taylor is with Paul for awhile now."

"Joss?" John whispered as he brought her into his chest.

"Yes, John."

A tear fell from his eye as he took a deep breath ready to voice a revelation, "I need you in my life, Joss... When I thought you were gone, I didn't know what to do with myself. You helped me reconnect to this world when no one else could. I want you to know that you mean everything to me. I don't know what your feelings are about what happened at the morgue but…"

She cut him off with her soft lips on his making him suck in a bit of air at first with surprise, but then ease afterwards. She knew how much courage it took for him to reveal this to her and she was proud of him. Two years ago him voicing his feelings would never happen even if she had dreamed about it. Pulling John back to look into his glassy blue eyes she said, "Whatever we are, whatever this is, I want more of it John," she smiled reassuringly, " You're worth it."

Then all at once he relaxed. Everything was going to be alright. John grinned a bit, then grabbed her hand seeking her warmth, "Should we head back out and finish the wonderful Christmas evening? I'm sure they're dying to see you out there Detective," he winked.

"Sure, sure," Joss said as she stood up with his hand in hers, "How'd you like your Christmas present?"

"Best thing I ever got," John replied, genuinely smiling for the first time in weeks. It was going to be a good holiday after all.