District 1- male
It was only me and her; we circled around each other again and again, her brilliant blue eyes were pleading no. I couldn't kill her, the sweet girl from my district, the only one that I could ever love. I clutched my knife tighter, my knuckles growing white, my stomach churning at the thought of my own knife extinguishing the glimmer in those beautiful eyes. I had to though, I volunteered, I was supposed to bring honor and pride, I was supposed to win, I had to, it was my life and love was never allowed into that precarious balance. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked down at the vicious weapon in my grasp, I slammed my eyes shut and thrust, the blade landing into her body. She let out a cry of pain and a scream, I swear my heart stopped as I looked down at her, she was bleeding out; her face was painted with anger and pain. "I'm sorry," I pleaded, but she wouldn't take it, she threw her knife, missing me by only a centimeter. "Bastard!" she screamed through hot tears. "I'm sorry," I tried again, taking her hand. "No," she said, "I'm sorry," her voice was shaking and she sounded like she was having trouble breathing, "I'm sorry that to you winning is everything, Radiant Niteo, I hope you're proud." I just looked at her, was this how she was going to remember me? Tears threatened to fall as I watched her trying to breath, but the tears never fell, they weren't supposed to fall, the only thing I would ever be was heartless, and heartless people don't cry over love that was always doomed. Suddenly, it stops, her eyes glaze over and the pained look on her face melts away. The cannon rang through the arena, it was really over. I knew I was supposed to rejoice, or maybe I was supposed to cry, I didn't really know, so I just stood there. I pressed my hand into her's, her hand was cold and lifeless. "No," I whispered. What had I done? What kind of idiot am I? I killed her and the last thought she would ever have of me was hatred, but I deserved it, I deserved every bit of hatred that she felt towards me. Angrily I stood, letting her limp hand fall from my grasp, I kicked a rock and screamed in frustration. Suddenly I heard the voice of Claudius Templesmith, "Congratulations to this year's victor: Radiant Niteo!" Oh joy, the winner of the games, what an honor.
I wake up screaming "no" once again. My hand searches around and I find that I'm not in that hellhole anymore. No, I'm in my room, in my mansion, in the lovely victor's village. I get it, I am supposed to be the happiest man alive, well I'm not, so get over it. That was a whole year ago and I still remember it like it was yesterday, her face will be forever embedded in my memory, visiting me every night, her words will forever echo in my head. "I hope you're proud." That's what everyone expects: pride. Oh yeah, like I'm so proud I chose glory over her. Maybe I'm just young and stupid, maybe I'll always be stupid. I look at the clock and realize I have to get ready, it's reaping day again and it's my first year as a victor. I can't say I'm happy to be going to another reaping, maybe a year ago I would have, but lately, I've realized some things. There is no one in Panem who can win the hunger games. They always say that one comes out, which is about half true, one comes out, but never ever without sacrifice. I scoff as I imagine the pride filled boy that will march on stage this year. He'll be ready for anything, he knows he will win. A year ago, that was me and look where I am now.