A/N: The idea for this came from my evil Gyarados, Fishsticks. :P (Does anybody else think that Carly is totally used to conversations that go like this by now?)
This was originally posted to my fic journal on 28 April. :)
iHave a New Pet
"Hey, hobos," Sam announces as she enters the iCarly studio. "I'm here!"
"What's that you're carrying?" Carly asks from the beanbags where she and Freddie are going over the script for this week's webcast.
"Just a new pet," Sam says, as she puts the fishbowl down near Freddie's tech equipment. ("Not so close to the – oh, never mind," Freddie says with a wince and a sigh.)
"A pet? But all your pets die horrible deaths. Remember Jumpy the hamster? Or Steve the hermit crab? Or the sea monkeys?" Carly says with a laugh.
"Hey, the sea monkeys hardly count as a pet!" Sam objects, flopping onto a beanbag and grabbing this week's script.
"What happened to the sea monkeys?" Freddie asks, clearly intrigued. He doesn't remember Sam ever having sea monkeys.
"Sam accidentally ate them," Carly replies matter-of-factly, as though it should be obvious.
"I didn't mean to!" Sam says defensively. Then, somewhat quietly, "They tasted like fish food."
"When have you ever eaten fish food?" Freddie asks, laughing.
"Hey, what I've eaten is none of your business, Fredward," Sam says threateningly.
"Okay, okay, sorry," Freddie says, then starts to pick up his script to make a suggestion and get them back on track.
Before he can say anything, Carly asks, "So what are you calling your newest victim?"
"His name is Fishsticks," Sam says. "And he's not a victim."
"I dunno, it sounds to me like you already have a plan for him," Freddie says with a grin, distracted again.
Sam glares at him. "You don't want to provoke me, Fredward. Or Fishsticks."
"How can someone provoke a fish?" Carly asks.
"Here, let me show you!" Sam says with a grin.
She jumps up and grabs Freddie by the arm, then drags him, protesting, over to the fishbowl.
"See, the great thing about this kind of fish is that you can teach it to do things," Sam explains. She sticks Freddie's hand inside the fishbowl to demonstrate. "Like this!"
"Hey, what are you doing? Cut it – ow!" Freddie says, as the fish bites him.
"See," Sam says proudly, "Look how smart he is already! And I just got him this morning!"
"It bit me!" Freddie says, inspecting his finger. There doesn't appear to be much damage, but it still hurt. "My mom is gonna make me get vaccinated for fish flu now," he moans.
"Oh, quit your whining, Fredward," Sam says. "He didn't bite you that hard." She flops back down on the beanbag. "So, we gonna do this?"
"Only you would have an evil, biting fish for a pet," Carly says, amused, and they get to work.