Disclaimer: We don't own Alec and Renesmee, for reasons we still don't understand. That doesn't mean we can't pretend, though.
Happy reading, darlings!
-Cee and Tiff {IITM}
Lost In The Dark
By: InspiredInTheMoment
Chapter I: Memoirs
"I love you. More than anything."
"I love you too, Momma. We'll always be together."
"In our hearts we'll always be together. But when the time comes today, you have to leave me. Will you do it for me? Please?"
Why?
"I can't tell you. But you'll understand soon. I promise."
I never understood.
That was one promise that my mother couldn't keep, which is saying something, because my mother was amazing. The strongest woman I'll ever know. She understood me like no one else did, protected me when no one else would.
Not even my own father.
Perhaps I'm not telling the story from the correct place; let me start over.
Isabella Cullen was no stronger to things that went bump in the night, even when she was human. When she was human, being the key word. There is another species in the world besides human There is another that walks among us, predators that have the instincts of a carnivorous animal.
They have the appearance of a god, the speed as fast as lightning, reflexes that would make your head spin, and strength. A lot of strength; not to mention alluring charm and charisma, which they usually use to entice their prey sexually.
These creatures I speak of are vampires.
My father, Edward Cullen, was a vampire. He and my mom fell in love, while she was still human. Anyone could see the problem there, seeing as she as his singer and all. A singer is a human that especially entices the vampire, and nothing else matters in the world but their blood. However, he got control of it. They had some problems along the way, but in the end, they were happy and decided to get married before turning her into a vampire, something Dad didn't want to do at all.
Turning a human into a vampire is an excruciating process, one that my mom had to go through on top of everything else, like giving birth to me, which I heard was an equally disturbing experience.
See, when I was conceived, my mom was still human. I know, how kinky. When they all discovered she was pregnant, they couldn't believe it. It was unheard of, a vampire creating life. But obviously, all it takes is a male vamp and a female human to get it on and tada:
Mutant baby.
That's what I am, actually. Half human, half vampire. I have the appearance of a vampire, so called miraculous beauty. My skin is pale, like my father, but my eyes are like my mom's when she was human; a dark, chocolate brown. I don't need blood, but I need it, if that makes any sense. I can live off of human food, but I prefer my instinctive diet.
I grew fast back then. Each day I'd grow taller, smarter, faster. I was happy with my life. It was just me, my family and Jacob.
Jacob Black, my everything. Jacob is a werewolf. (Yes, I know. How convenient that those exist too along with vampires.) And the thing with werewolves, they go through this thing called Imprinting. It's when he 'sees' her. I guess I'm 'her' because Jake Imprinted on me. It basically means that he's always going to be there for me, and he'll be whatever I need him to be. He really did prove that when he had to take me away from everything I knew and loved to save me.
Save me from whom, one would ask? The Volturi, the largest and most powerful coven of vampires that ever existed. They keep peace and order among the supernatural world, and they're basically royal. They all possess some form of ability and some vampires are gifted with. For example, Dad read minds. Things like that. I was also "gifted" with the ability to project my thoughts into other people's minds if I wish to by touching them.
But I'm getting off track.
The point is, the Volturi thought I was an immortal child, a deadly and sadistic creature. It is absolutely forbidden to change a child into a vampire, no matter the circumstance. The consequences were execution. I was seen, and instantly presumed one of those vile creatures, because of my appearance and abilities. No one understood what I was, because as I said before, it was unheard of.
Long story short: the Volturi came to my town, intending to kill. And kill they did.
My family, my beautiful family…
Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper…my parents…
They were all dead.
My mother made sure that I was gone before the battle broke out, making Jacob take me and run. When we were fleeing, picturing all their faces in my mind, I knew that I would never see them again. That was confirmed several days later when none of them contacted us. It was just me and Jacob, all alone in the world.
I wasn't one to use the word hate a lot, but I hated the Volturi, I hated all of them. I hated myself even more. Had I not existed at all, my family would be alive and happy. My father would have turned my mom into a vampire out of choice, and not in a life or death situation. They could be traveling the world together, in love and happy.
I wasn't supposed to exist within this world. The world, in return, didn't want me either.
Whatever my parents would tell me, I know better. I was a mistake; an accident, a casualty in a moment of passion. When my mother carried me, I wasn't wanted by anyone else. My own father wanted to get rid of me to save Mom's life.
He was right. It would have saved her. But the complexity of that was there wasn't any way they could have killed me then. I was too strong, too stubborn. Unnatural.
Yes, it was the Volturi's hands which is stained with my family's blood, but if it weren't for my existence, there would have never been any blood shed.
I will never forgive myself for their deaths. Never.
My name is Vanessa Wolfe to the living. She's a young, fresh faced and beautiful young woman on the verge of great things. Life is just her playground, her fairytale.
My name is Renesmee Cullen to the undead. She's an eleven year old being trapped inside a seventeen year old body. Her beauty is deceiving. Everything she touches turns to ash, and life doesn't want her back.
Though I would have never tell any of this to Jacob. I've never let him know how much I really hate myself. He wouldn't understand, anyways. He's blinded by his love for me. He and I never really did the whole romantic thing with our relationship. We started to at one point, really we did. Cuddled and kissed and all that, but it never really felt like it was us. I told him that I just wanted to be friends, and surprisingly, he was okay with that. I think he felt the same way about it. It's like we were too connected and bonded to be in love. Too much had happened between us. We were just Jake and Nessie; soul mates, but not lovers.
And that was just fine.
Jacob is Native American, with beautiful copper skin. It was the exact opposite of my deathly pale skin.
But despite that fact, we matched in every other way possible. He was my family, the only family I had left. All my memories of my family, or Forks, all of that rested within Jacob. He reminded me of it everyday.
That is until one final act that completely shredded my world apart.
Up until two years ago, I thought I was happy, at least, as happy as I'd ever let myself be. But it was easy feeling happy with Jake around; he always knew how to make me smile, even when I didn't want to.
I keep replaying that day in my head, letting my mind cover every inch of my memory, hoping to find the missing puzzle piece. It wasn't like a series of strange or disturbing events had let up to that point, it just happened out of nowhere. I had no way of preparing myself for it, because honestly, I never thought it was possible. My head was starting to ache, and I rubbed my temples in exhaustion, going back to that afternoon, once again. I don't even know why I tortured myself like this, I wouldn't get anywhere. But I couldn't help it, and soon it felt like I was right back there. Right back in New Mexico, which was where we'd been living at the time. I was right back in that damn ugly house with bright pink paint, sitting on that damn couch, staring at the damn TV.
"What's wrong, Nessie? You look tired." Jake commented, plopping himself next to me, spreading his long arm across the back of the couch.
I shrugged in response.
"I'm fine…I was just thinking about…." I sighed in irritation. I was not going to feel sorry for myself today. I was not going to cry again. It's been nine years since it happened, and I had to stop this brooding crap. "Never mind."
I couldn't keep feeling this way; I was sick of feeling this way. Sometimes I wondered how I'd do with some counseling, but then figured that probably wasn't the best of ideas. What would I say to the poor therapist?
'Hi, I'm Renes- I mean Vanessa. No, that's not a fake name. I'm nine years old and no, I don't play with Barbies anymore, which may seem weird and all because I'm in fact only nine, but you wouldn't really think that if you knew that I was studying World War II by the time I was a year old. Anyhow, my family was slaughtered because they were only trying to protect me against an evil coven of monsters who drink blood and did I mention I'm only half human?
I don't really see how therapy would help me. You have to tell the truth in therapy, and for obvious reasons, I just can't do that. I couldn't very well talk to Jacob about it, because I know he'd just argue with me about how it wasn't my fault. I didn't want to hear it.
Jacob frowned and reached to grab the remote control, turning off the TV, leaving nothing but silence filling the air.
"I miss them too…" He said simply, his voice somber. I leaned into his side, resting my head on his shoulder and wrapping my arm around his waist. He pulled me close and into his strong arms, and I fought back tears.
Today was one of those days; the days that reminded me that they weren't here and I was never going to see them again. I mean, it's obvious that I already knew this any other day. But sometimes it was just worse than others. Sometimes I could handle it and distract myself, and other times I just couldn't find it in me. All I could think about was their faces…they were so brave, so damn strong. They knew that they were more than likely going to die, and yet they didn't back down.
I wish I could be fearless like them, not scared of anything that came my way. They were so amazing, each of them in their own way. Dad, with his ability to read minds and make me feel safe without even doing anything, that smile he'd give me that was impossible not to return. Mom with the warmth in her voice and how happy she made me, her shield she'd figured out she could project, which was pretty badass. Carlisle with his wisdom and knowledge. Esme with her overpowering love that made you feel like you were the center of the universe. Alice with her bubbly and fun personality, always wanting to do something exciting and new. Rosalie and her cat-like mentality, ready to pounce if you gave her crap, but was loyal to the bone and would kick your butt if you messed with her family. Emmett with that big, goofy grin and those lame ass jokes he'd tell me, making me laugh hysterically nonetheless. Jasper and his soothing presence that made you feel right where you needed to be.
How could I have not missed them? How could I have not blamed myself for their deaths?
I felt something wet drop onto my cheek, and realized it was me crying. I wiped it away instantly, hoping Jacob didn't notice.
"They would have been really proud of you, Nessie…you do know that, right?" I heard him whisper, laced with concern. I nodded to satisfy him, and he squeezed me a bit tighter before getting up off the couch, stretching his arms above his head.
"Where are you going?"
"Work, where else?" He muttered with distaste.
I frowned. "I thought you had today off…I thought we were gonna' go out and do something fun or something."
He gave me an apologetic smile, and my frown deepened.
"I got called in. One of the guys who was supposed to go in today got the flu so…what can I do?" He shrugged, and started looking around for his keys like he always did. He never just put them in the same place so he could find them. That was too simple, I guess.
"Kitchen counter," I mumbled, not hiding my disappointment. It felt like forever since we actually did something fun together. When he wasn't working, I was in school. When I wasn't in school, he was working. When we were both actually here at the house, we were sleeping.
It was getting old. It's not like I actually needed to go to school, anyways. I already had the knowledge I'd ever need. I didn't want to brag or anything, but I was learning algebra when I was three years old, so…I think I was set for my future. Hell, I could get a job if I wanted.
Jake laughed at himself and a few moments later we back with the keys in hand. I smirked.
"What would I do without you?" He joked, and then frowned. "You wouldn't happen to know where my wallet is, too…?"
I rolled my eyes.
"Check your back pocket."
"Nessie, it's not there. Don't you think I'd know if it were?""Not the ones you're wearing. The ones from yesterday."
He pursed his lips and disappeared, making his way to his room. I heard him curse and I giggled, shaking my head to myself.
He appeared once again, this time a defeated expression on his face.
"I'm losing it, Nessie. Seriously, I don't know where I'd be if you weren't here to remind me that I actually have brain inside this shell." He pointed to his head, and I smiled.
"You wouldn't make it, no doubt." I joked, and he rolled his eyes, his hand on the doorknob now.
"Nessie, I'm more worried about you making it out alone. You wouldn't last two seconds without me." He said, his voice filled with amusement. I glared at him as a threw a couch pillow at him, which he of course dodged without effort.
"I'm not that weak, Jacob Black!"
He flashed me a white smile as he opened the door.
"Yeah, you're probably right. See ya' later."
I waved him off, now turning back on the TV, and he closed the door. I could hear him laughing even as he made he way to the car. I faintly heard him start the engine, and then him roll out of the driveway and onto the street.
He didn't come back that night after work.
That was the last time I ever saw him.
I didn't wish him luck at work. I didn't tell him to be careful. I didn't even grant him so much as a damn wave goodbye.
I just let him leave. And he didn't come back.
I had yet again managed to lose the last person that meant something to me. And I couldn't help but wonder if that was my fault as well.
When Jake didn't come back, I didn't know what to think. He was a shape shifter, pretty much untouchable, so what could have happened to him? I went to the garage he worked at, asking if he had come in that night. Apparently he never made it in for work. I filed a missing persons report at the police station, posted pictures around town, hoping something would come up. I even tried tracking him, but I soon realized that my skills in the department were terrible. I was angry, confused, terrified. What happened to Jacob? Did he just decide he'd had enough of me and left? No, he would have never done that. Never. He Imprinted on me, the bond was too strong for that.
The only explanation I came up with was of course the one that I didn't want to believe.
Jacob was dead.
I didn't know how, it seemed impossible. He should have healed, right? I mean, he was a fast healer, and anything that could have happened to him, he should have healed and he should have been okay. But if that were the case, he would have come back to me.
After several months of searching, hoping, waiting…I gave up.
I gave up on everything.
Jake was the only connection I had left to my family, the only person left in the world that loved me and made me strive to be a better person. With him gone, I had no one to impress, I had no one to be good for, I had nothing to strive for. I simply didn't care. I was alone, I was a half vampire, and I let my instincts take over my life, because they were all I had left.
I soon realized after Jake disappeared that there was a hunger inside of me that I had never really satisfied before. I hadn't fed on blood since I was last in Forks, when my family was alive. Jake never let me, said it was too dangerous and risky to feed now. So I had grown accustomed to solid food. But when he left, all I could think about was blood. I found myself hovering in shadows, watching people as they passed by, looking longingly at their necks, watching in fascination as their veins became visible to me. I needed blood to fill me, fill me with something that wasn't completely hollow and dank. Something to make me feel alive.
I remember the first time I fed on a human…it had been a couple of days after I had finally given up on the thought of Jacob being alive. I was empty inside, consumed by dark whispers that told me to just kill myself and make the pain stop. I almost did take my own life, but then I inhaled the scent of a nearby human. The scent was overpowering, crashing into my life a wave of bricks. I was hypnotized by how it seemed to call to me, and I was hopeless to stop myself. I had been walking around an apartment complex, for reasons I still don't quite know. And I saw her, a woman, walking her dog. It was in the middle of the night, probably around one in the morning or so, and she was just there in the wrong place at the wrong time.
What happened next happened too fast for me really to remember. One minute she was talking to her dog, smiling, and the next she was on the ground, blood smeared on her neck and on my lips. I felt a surge of adrenaline inside of me, and my heart beat too fast for my body to catch up with. The taste was indiscernible, as it still lingered on my tongue. The woman hadn't even screamed…perhaps she was too shocked, or maybe her throat closed up and she simply couldn't. Maybe I had covered her mouth with my hand to muffle the sound. I can't even remember. I just remember staring at the bite mark in fascination, wondering if it was really me who gave it to her. Surely not me…not Renesmee Cullen, not the daughter of Edward and Isabella…they would have been so ashamed of me. They all would have; because I didn't stop after that night. I didn't stop feeding. I needed more, I needed something to make me feel real.
Human life was beginning to mean less and less to me. All their faces looked the same anyways. I told myself it was just part of the food chain. I fed on humans, humans fed on animals, animals fed on other animals who fed on insects. You don't see a tiger mourning over the life it's taken to feed itself, or a shark feeling sorry for the fish. Vampires were predators. And so was I.
Two years had passed since I last saw Jacob. Two years feeling like a ghost in this enormous world…like a speck blowing by the wind's will, helpless to stop the pain inside of me that I had learned to hide from others I passed. I was so good at pretending I was happy, I sometimes fooled myself and began to believe it. I was beautiful. I had the world at my fingertips, I could have anything and anyone I wanted. What I wanted, I got. And if that made me happy, then I should do it. If I had to lie, cheat and steal to get it, then so be it. This was who I am now. This is what I am.
That's what I told myself.. It's what I told myself when I taped that smile to my face. It's what I told myself when I cried myself to sleep. It's what I told myself when I slept with that guy who made me laugh and feel happy for a while.
My beauty and instincts were all I had left and I didn't intend waste them.
It was a Saturday night, and it was New York, and I was in spotlight; the Upper East Side. Spoiled rich kids with no curfew, lots of liquor, designer clothes, diamonds and hard ons.
It was just like an episode of Gossip Girl.
But instead of hitting it up at some night club, I was walking around, window shopping. Well, in so many words. I was browsing, considering what I wanted to steal. It wasn't like I didn't have the money to buy the clothes myself. But considering how the money was also stolen, I just didn't feel right about it.
Okay, I was a kleptomaniac. Sue me! But it was just too easy sometimes, way too easy. And I didn't steal a lot of clothes, just when I needed new stuff. Like tonight, for example…I needed a new bra…and a new pair of thongs…and maybe a couple of other small items.
After walking around Barney's for a while, I had my eye on a black, strapless lace bra. It was sexy, fun, and chic. It was two hundred and twenty-five dollars. It was as good as mine.
After breaking off the security tag off the bra effortlessly like it was a toothpick, without ripping the fabric, I casually cut my eyes around me before slipping the bra into my large purse. I'd done this enough times I could do it in my sleep. I dropped what was left of the broken bits of plastic onto the floor, and started to walk away from the scene of the crime.
I heard a shuffle of feet behind me, and I quickly turned around to see who was behind me. I met the most beautiful pair of blue eyes I had ever seen before in my life. They were so crystal and pure it was as if I could see right through them. It was like looking at the sky or something. Then I noticed a pair of glasses covering them, and a handsome face to match. He was no older that sixteen or so, and was hot in that nerdy sort of way. You could just tell he was a genius.
He looked awkward and very nervous, especially now that I was looking him straight in the eyes. I smiled my million dollar smile, making him blush even further. It never got old watching shy boys do that.
"I- I saw that." He practically choked, his heart rate picking up as I quirked an eyebrow.
"Saw what?" I asked innocently, laughing softly at the way he stared at me. It was as if I was the light at the end of the tunnel or something. I had him in the palm of my hand.
He pointed to my purse, and I sighed.
"Oh," I nodded, my eyes never leaving his. "And now you're going to say something…" I said shamefully, looking down at my feet. I didn't have to be a mind reader to know what was going through his head right now. He was debating on what he should do. "If I put it back now, would you consider just…pretending you never saw anything?"
I peeked up at him angelically through my thick lashes, giving him my puppy dog eyes at their best. But behind all the innocent crap I was displaying for him, I was eye sexing him with everything I had. I made sure to let him see the shift of my eyes from his eyes to his mouth, which was by the way, quite nice to look at. I briefly wondered what it might be like kissing them.
The sad part is, if I wanted to, I'd be able to in a heart beat. He was mine already. I smiled softly, my focus still on his mouth, and I subtly bit down on my bottom lip as if it were an awkward habit. It wasn't. I was always aware of the movements and gestures I made with my body. It was my weapon, after all. I'd trained it in more ways than one.
As I predicted, the Cutie Boy Blue blushed, his cheeks becoming vibrant and rich in a soft red tint. The color was luscious to behold, and in that instant I wanted nothing more than to press my lips against the warmth of his face, close enough to really inhale his scent when it was at its most pulsating. The more his heart rate picked up, the more his blood started to rise to the surface, and the fragrance was enchanting. Everything about this boy was so innocent and yet, beneath the surface, he was raging with something that made my mouth water.
I had to have him.
He chuckled nervously again, running a hand through his hair. As he did so, I saw a vein in his neck stand out prominent. The faint blue line was pulsating beneath his fair complexion, and I bit my tongue, trying to hold composure.
"You know what, this is silly. I shouldn't ask you to do something like that…I'll just-"
"Well, it's not as if none of us haven't done the same thing before…" He interrupted, smiling shyly "I wont tell a soul."
I grinned happily at him, and his eyes lit up like a firework on the fourth.
"I really owe you one…I don't know what I was thinking." I shook my head, laughing as if I were embarrassed. "You probably think I'm horrible.."
He shook his head vigorously.
"No…what I was thinking…is why would someone like you need to? I mean, don't take this the wrong way, but you don't look like you need to steal to get what you want."
Because stealing what I want is more fun.
"I don't really even know why…I just…you ever wanted to make someone pay attention?"
"You mean like a parent? You're doing this to get their attention?"
I looked down.
"Sounds pathetic and cliché, right?" I mumbled, shuffling my feet.
"It's not pathetic…" He said, pushing his glasses up awkwardly. It was the cutest thing in the whole world, and even though it was weird to say this, it was kind of sexy. He was smart and actually had a brain inside his scull. It worked.
The sad part was it wouldn't work long. I was walking my path of destruction and he was caught in the middle of the road, waving his scent around wildly, practically begging me to take him for my own. And his sex appeal? It just added to the lust, but it almost made me not want to kill him. There were a lot of men in the world, but very few of them were appealing to me as this one was. Maybe I should preserve the excellent quality for some other girl. Maybe I should be kind hearted and let him live to be old and grey with grandsons who looked just like him that I could later on use for my needs. I'm not going anywhere after all; I have an eternity to live.
Or maybe I could just skip the program and relish in his nice, warm, pulsating neck. One puncture to his carotid artery would fill my every need. I could already taste him on my tongue as he swelled in my mouth, sliding rapidly down my throat, bringing life into my body. By the look of him, I'd be feeling his blood flooding through me for days, lasting well enough until my next feeding.
I couldn't feel sorry for this guy, however good looking he might have been. He was doing me a favor. The only question that lingered in my mind was how did I get him to be my next snack? It's not as if I could straight up ask him to let me drink his blood without him calling the cops, not that they could stop me but I just didn't want to be a wanted fugitive. As it is, I had these things laying on my conscience: Burglary, breaking and entering, murder, sexual harassment in public, indecent exposure…the list could go on for miles. The cops wouldn't be my friends; I don't even think doughnuts would help me out on this matter.
So how was I to go about this plan? As I always did. Use the talents God gave me.
My boobs.
"You know, you're pretty cute." I complimented. The moment I did, I knew the sliver of composure this boy had was drowning in nerves.
He started stuttering more frequently and his hands twitched at his sides whilst his feet shifted beneath him. He was a mess.
"I- um…um- what?"
I reached forward to slide off his glasses slowly, and his body went rigid, his eyes surprised and wide. I brought the spectacles closer to my face to examine them, breathing heavily against the glass which fogged. Cleaning the glasses, I pulled up the hem of my shirt to wipe them delicately with my fingers, rubbing the fog off back and fourth so that he could see. After, I put them back on him; he was still a statue, staring at me with disbelief.
"Better…?" I breathed into his ear, straightening out his collar with my fingers, his scent invading my nose. I closed my eyes, licking my lips, making sure he heard the slow breathing of my mouth. Lingering in the air, I could taste his aroma; sweet and warm.
He was just what the doctor ordered and there was no turning back now.
Mr. Blue Eyes was still made of stone, his eyes looking everywhere but into mine.
"What are you doing later?"
"Well, I- um…I-""Nothing? Perfect…I'm dying to make new friends. I just moved to the city and I'm terribly lonely…maybe you could be of use and keep me company for a while…that is unless you don't want to-"
"YES!" He interrupted, his eyes widening as his outburst, surprising himself. "I mean…yeah, that'd be cool."
"Excellent. How about by the pond in Central Park?" I suggested.
"Hersheys!" A loud and dominant voice spoke clear as day from behind me. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, and my eyes widened instantly.
Hersheys.
There was only one person who called me by that name, one person whose name I still to this day didn't know, but I knew the voice at once. I'd known that voice for a while now, because every time I heard it I cringed.
It was his voice.
"Buttercup…there you are. I've been looking absolutely everywhere for you…" Suddenly I was in an unwanted embrace, his arms, hard as stone, wrapping around my belly from behind. I was so shocked by the gesture I was suddenly lost for words, I couldn't even move. His body was lean yet muscular, and it trapped me against his hard chest, his lips near my ear.
"I know what you're doing…" He whispered, his cool breath tickling the warmth of my skin. If I wasn't repulsed by his presence, I might actually like what he was doing. After all, it was sort of a sensual whisper to my ear in a somewhat gentle tone, if he even knew the meaning of the word gentle at all. He was cruel.
I wasn't insulting him just for the sake of it either. He was a cruel bastard. I had only had the displeasure of meeting him twice thus far in a year's time, and this was our third encounter. Needless to say we never got off on the right foot. He made it known the very first time I saw him that he found me to be an idiotic girl who didn't know what she was playing with- oh, and he called me a slut. It was his favorite pet name, besides Hersheys. I once thought that name was endearing, but he dismissed that idea quickly, explaining how Hershey's chocolate was nothing more than a substance that tasted like dirt in his mouth.
I never liked the name since.
"I wish I could say the same-"
"Aw, baby…didn't you miss me too?" He purred, taking my earlobe into his mouth, nibbling on it sensually. I gulped, and realized then my heart was raging like mad inside of my chest. His lips were soft, his teeth sharp and pointed, and it shamefully so, excited me like nothing else in this world.
I didn't know if it was because of the way he was licking my ear or if it was just because he was a guy and I was a girl and naturally my body would react, but I started forgetting where we were and what I was trying to do. We were in Barney's and I was hunting!
Oh no. I was hunting!
I shifted my eyes back in front of me, only to see that the human boy was walking away towards the door, his back turned on us. Instantly, the arms around my waist were gone, and I heard a gagging noise coming from his truly.
"I'm going to throw up," he muttered as I turned around to meet him face to face.
He was something to look at with his dark brown messy hair that seemed to have no sense of direction, his creamy pale complexion, those full lips that spoke nothing but insults at everyone, and his candy apple red eyes that were currently hidden behind contacts. But I knew better, I knew what lay behind those thin films. As savory as they might look being candy apple red and all, as I stated above, they were also the windows to the most incentive, twisted, deformed soul known to man. Even the tone of his voice was sinister and bitter. I'm not going to lie and say he was ugly. He was liquid sex on legs; in fact I could feel my body still responding from his touch, but it was cut short at the reminder of his mental disability. I mean this vampire couldn't even socialize like a normal person.
"What the hell was that!" I snapped, pushing his chest as he still wiped his mouth roughly with the palm of his hand. I guess he was getting sick from his tongue in my ear, but it was him who put it there so I didn't feel at all sorry for him.
"Walk with me."
"I don't want to."
"Boo…hoo." With that, he gripped my arm so tightly that I thought he was going to tear it off, and he probably would at the rate he was walking. I could barley keep up, and the only reason I made myself to so was because I really wanted my arm to stay with me.
He always did this though, every time I saw him, or at least every time I came to his precious NYC. It was a known fact that New York City was his playhouse and I wasn't invited to his sandbox. I didn't know much about this guy, but I knew this, he seriously had some attachment issues.
"That was a little dramatic, don't you think, Licorice?"
"No, you've been a real pain in my ass since I met you."
"Aw, want me to kiss and make it better?" I snapped, as he pushed me into his car that I'd learned to recognize and watched him causally as he went around the front, letting himself in. I didn't need to ask where we were going. This always happens. He catches me in the city and he drives me all the way to the city lines. Making sure I leave. He really did hate me, and for what reason I didn't know. I didn't do anything to him. Well, I mean not recently. When I first met him, I was stupid enough to make a pass or two, to which I regret immensely till this day. I had hoped I'd never see him again after last but I've never been that lucky.
"Don't you want to know my excuse this time?"
"I don't care. This is the last time. Stay away from the pond. I don't need you messing up what I have going for me and making my existence known. When we get to the outside of the city, you are to turn around and leave. Do not hunt until you do."
"Is it that time of the month again?" I joked, which received a hateful glare as a response. He really did wake up on the wrong side of the bed.
"I mean it. I don't want to see your face, know your pathetic excuses, and no. I don't want to touch whatever it is you were offering to that loser. I'd rather set my ass on fire than come near you."
"Aw, I'm so glad you missed me." I said, with a fake cheery voice.
He really was something else. It seems like every time I met him, he got meaner and colder than he was the pervious time. As I recall the first time we met it was because he was just simply curious about me. As he had never seen a vampire with a heart beat before. I remember him asking about it and I responded with a snarky comment about him being jealous. He rejected my ass so fast I didn't even know what was happening. Ever since then, I've been on my toes around him. But not enough to where I didn't have any fun.
We were driving passed the speed limit, bringing us to our destination in record time.
"Get out." He hissed, after coming around and opening my door for me, when we came to a stop. I sat completely still. Glaring.
"Or you'll what?"
"I'll kill you," he said, his voice low and deadly.
He grabbed my chin in his hand, his face leaning near mine. I jerked away from his hold on me. I then took it upon myself to gather enough spit and pointed it at his shoes. I smiled spitefully, and I could hear the low growl that erupted deep in his chest. The sound took me off guard, so much so I didn't register what it was he was doing until I felt a hard impact on my ass. Turns out he had thrown me out of the car and I landed on the pavement. I hissed, quickly standing on my two feet again.
"Keep your foul body fluids to yourself," he snarled, his face curled with disgust. I rolled my eyes, not taking anything he said seriously. He didn't like that, I imagine.
"Well then, don't touch me." I said, shifting my weight off my left leg to my right. "By the freaking way, what the hell were you playing at in Barney's?" I sneered, shaking my head. "Buttercup? Baby? Your tongue was in my ear!"
I tried not to remember the way it felt, I really did, but mentioning it out loud was bringing some things back. I hated him, I really did. He was like a troll under a bridge, shooing everyone off. But then he has to go and do that crap to me, make me feel that way? What gave him that right? Not that I really liked it that much, it was my body that did, and I was disgusted with myself for it.
He was not my type at all. My type had blue eyes with glasses and a heart beat that sang sweet lullabies to me! Not red eyes and messy hair with serious need of a comb! Even his clothes needed help. He needed help.
He needed to get laid, that's what he needed, not that I was offering. Even I wasn't going to cross that line. I bet he was a virgin, I'd bet money on it, actually. I couldn't imagine any girl sinking that low into desperation.
"Don't remind me. I'll need to rinse out my mouth with soap for weeks to get the taste out." He replied coldly, his face hard as stone.
"Hey, I didn't ask you take a nibble. I feel dirty now; I need a bath- Wait, I can't do that…" I trailed off, and a realization hit me square in the heart. " My things are back in the city."
I saw a twinkle in his eyes that could only be described as sick satisfaction, but meanwhile, I really was panicking inside. I felt like a ton of weights were compressing down on my chest, and I was finding it difficult to take a breath. Everything was back in NYC. EVERYTHING. All my clothes, all my jewelry and worst of all every picture I had of my family and Jake rested in my hotel room. I had to have them. The very thought of losing those was making my head spin and my chest hurt. I can't handle this. I was beginning to have a panic attack, and black spots were invading my vision. I was literally going to faint, and here he was, enjoying this?
I didn't care if he killed me. I didn't care if I was dead the second I stepped back into the city. I needed those pictures, like I needed air in my lungs and blood in my veins. I was not going to part with them.
It had only took a few steps on the road back towards the city for him to block my way, standing a couple of feet ahead of me.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Oh c'mon, Licorice!" I practically whined, holding my arm out pleadingly.
"That's not my name," he corrected, and I could almost see the brown tints of his contacts starting to melt away, transitioning colors. I stared in awe as the red of his iris' started peeking through.
"Just as Hersheys isn't my name," I quipped, then sighing softly. "Just let me go back and get my stuff, and I promise I wont step into your beloved city ever again. I wont kill anyone while I'm there and no one will know what either of us are, okay?…Okay!"
His eyebrows raised as if I were but a chewed up wad of gum under his shoe. He'd been gracious enough to share that expression to me many times. In fact, it was the first look he had ever given me and I had wanted nothing more than to wipe it off his face.
When he didn't say anything, I took it as a sign. I could convince him, right? I could butter him up and say the right things, just like I could with any other man. He did have balls after all, right? I knew in the past it hadn't worked out, but this was different. I had perfected my game. Even though he was like the most un-seducible person ever, that wouldn't keep me from trying. I had a goal.
"I'm desperate, alright?" I said, taking a step forward. "I will do anything you want."
I could see something flash behind his eyes, some sort of light bulb must have struck him in the head or something. Was this my chance? Was he thinking the same thing I was thinking? Because I meant it when I said I was desperate…okay, so it did sound cheap, but if he was considering it also, I wasn't alone in this.
I took the moment's apparent heat to my advantage, stepping closer to where my body was practically flush with his, his solid frame brushing my chest. I wrapped my arms around his neck, running my fingers through his hair at his nape, and studied his eyes' reaction to what I was doing. His hair was like silk lacing between my fingers; I was surprised at how soft it really was. His eyes bore into mine with intensity, his hands finding my hips, holding me in place. I felt my heart skip a beat as he did, my body beginning to feel like it was floating. I could totally do this, I had this. He wasn't bad, he was just distant, but once you hit the right buttons he switched gears on you.
I was finding the courage to slowly lean towards his mouth, but he beat me to the punch, nearing my lips ever so slowly, his full red and luscious lips. Nerves were jumping all over my body with anticipation. I never really would have guessed how much I had wanted to kiss him, until now, I guess.
"Hersheys…?" He breathed, his lips now only an inch away from mine. I smiled softly. I could certainly learn to like the name, I could even pretend it was a new name of adoration.
I waited anxiously for him to make the next move, whatever that might be. I was practically on my toes, actually, my body alert and ready for battle or whatever it was he was wanting to give me. My heart trembled in my chest as he leaned in even closer, so close I could taste his breath on my tongue. So sweet, like honey…
Slowly closing his eyes, just about to eliminate the space left between us, I saw his face break out into a wide, evil grin. Laughter followed rapidly, and I watched spitefully as his head tipped back, the air now loud with his bellows. At first I was confused, but then it hit me.
I got played.
"You. Asshole." I spat through my teeth, wanting to strangle the laughter out of him. It wasn't just a laugh, it was a mockery. He was town right teasing me, bullying me, even. As if this were the funniest event to ever happen to him.
"You may be that desperate, but I'm not." He said between chuckles, now starting to pace around me. "Were you really going to kiss me for clothes? Oh, what am I saying? Kissing isn't exactly your forte, is it? It can be initiated while fully clothed, after all. Definitely something you are not used to."
I had every urge to slap the crap out of his face, but held myself back on account of my life. I didn't feel like being shot down and killed in one night. So, with much struggle, I forced composure on myself, clenching my fists so tightly I thought I might draw blood from my nails.
"Go ahead, make fun of me, get it all out of your system. But I was serious when I said I'd do anything, even though I think it's stupid you wont let me go back real quick and get it. It's just a couple of suit cases!"
"Yes, but it's got a hold on you, obviously. Something of importance stashed away, I suppose." He said casually, still walking around me like a suspect. "And you'd really do anything to get it back in your embrace?"
"Yes."
"I can't hear you.."
"YES!" I yelled angrily, glaring at him. "Name your damn price, already!"
He paused for a moment, contemplating his own actions, what he should do next. Perhaps he was thinking of what he could get out of all of this. Apparently sex wasn't an option, as he clearly found the concept of sleeping with me laughable. And now that I considered it, it really was laughable. What was I thinking? How could I lower myself to him? And to think, I had believed I might have enjoyed kissing him! That's the thing that confused me most of all. He was no name, he was Licorice; the troll. He loved one thing, and one thing only: his car. I get it, it was a classic, it was sleek and smooth and a freaking '70 black mustang convertible, but it was just an object. I was a human being (well, half) and I deserved respect just like that stupid slice of metal, which he was now stalking towards to.
"Get in."
I froze, standing on the side of the road, contemplating what to do. Were we going back to the city? Had he thought of his end of the deal? I didn't have much time to think about it, because he was screaming now.
"GET. IN. THE. CAAAR!" He emphasized loudly like I were three years old, or mentally challenged, or both. I jumped at the force of his loud voice, quickly racing to the passenger side, taking my chances.
"So?" I snapped.
He didn't answer me. Instead, he just asked, or rather, demanded to know where I was staying. After giving him the address, he turned the key in the ignition, starting the car. Back to the city we went.
I couldn't express my emotions. I didn't know what to expect or what to fear. I didn't even know his freaking name! All in all, I was partially terrified and partially thrilled. Terrified because he was equipped to kill me any instant with his little finger, and thrilled because…I really had no idea why I was thrilled. But there it was, adrenaline surging through my veins in excitement. I was almost shaking.
"So, what exactly is the payment?" I questioned, and was replied with silence. "Okay, let's start off with something more simple. What's your name?"
He cut his eyes to me in annoyance, and I stared back casually. When once again, he didn't reply, I shook my head.
"I'll start. Hello, my name is Vanessa." I encouraged, smiling a small smile.
He shifted his eyes back to the road ahead of us. "Well, then, Vanessa, let's just get something straightened out before there's all sorts of confusion in the air, shall we?" He said, his tone cold and to the point. I didn't say anything, waiting for him to continue. "As of now, I own you. That means I don't have to tell you shit about what it is I plan to do with you or take you. I don't have to tell you my name, I don't have to talk to you, and I sure as hell don't want you talking to me. You want to know my price? Sit in that seat and shut up."
He really didn't beat around the bush, did he? Just jump right into the point. He owned me; that's lovely. He basically implied that he was my master and I was his bitch who would do his bidding, whatever it may be…which at the present time was to shut up. I stared at him, but he never turned again to look at me. It was as if I wasn't even there.
I hissed loudly and watched as the corner of his mouth twitched ever so slightly, like he was trying not to smile. I sighed and spoke again.
"Fine. But can't you at least-"
I was interrupted by loud, and I mean very loud music that suddenly filled the space of the car. He had turned on the radio. He effing turned onto the radio so he didn't have to listen to me, to shut me up. Who did that? It wasn't even good music! It was like elevator music gone wrong. I hoped that this wasn't what he listened to on a regular basis, for my sake.
It didn't take us long to return back to the city and to the hotel I'd be staying at. He turned off the car and I sighed in relief when the horrible music was replaced by silence. I started to get out of the car when I felt his hand grip my wrist suddenly. I whipped around, glaring at him. His eyes narrowed at me, which had now dissolved the contacts completely, so his burning, rich red eyes were at their best. I froze under his scowl, not sure whether to be afraid or to melt. Those eyes were so dangerous, staring straight through me. There was nothing he couldn't do at this very moment, and that's what was so scary.
He could hurt me, he could kill me if he wanted, I wasn't a fool. He could sink those sharp teeth into my skin and drain my life away at his will. His hands could easily break my bones like they were small twigs. But what else could those hands do? What else couldn't I stop him from doing…or worse, didn't want to him to stop doing? I hated him, that much was known to me. But yet, at the same time, he intrigued me. More than I would have preferred.
In the silence, my heart was like a helicopter, beating so fast and so hard. I thought any moment it was going to stop beating from utter exhaustion it was going to fast. If he would only let go of my wrist and just stop looking at me.
His eyebrows raised upon hearing my thunderous heartbeat, but his eyes never left mine, still as venomous and intimidating as ever.
"I hope you realize that I was very serious before. If you keep asking questions, I'll sew your mouth shut. And don't ever-" He leaned his face towards mine. "Try and kiss me again. I'm not one of your pathetic little conquests you can spread your legs to, and I wont be insulted by being suggested as one."
He pulled away, opened the door and swiftly got out of the car, while I sat there in shock for a couple of seconds. He'd called me a slut before, many times, so you'd think I'd start getting used to it by now…but for some reason, every time he implied it, I swear it actually hurt a little. It was insane, because I shouldn't have cared what his opinion was of me. I didn't care what anyone's opinion was of me. I was my own person, and if he didn't approve of what I did with my time then that was his own damn problem.
I pushed that silly feeling of being hurt away from my mind and got up out of the car, heading towards my room. I heard his footsteps follow behind me. He was obviously paranoid I'd try and bail so he figured he'd have to watch every move I made. I thought it was stupid, seeing as how even if I did try and run, there was no way I'd get as far as the hotel parking lot. I knew he'd find me; wherever I went.
I was his bitch, after all.
Although, I didn't have to act like it. I did have some pride.
I slid my key card from my back pocket, and unlocked the room. As quickly as I could, I gathered all my toiletries from the bathroom and random items of clothing, stuffing them into my suitcases. He stood, watching my every move, and I felt the pressure of his stare.
"Are you trying to annoy me, or just really this slow?" He said lazily, rubbing his eyes. I flicked off his covered eyes.
"Well if I knew I would be traveling, I would have been more organized but since this is last minute, you'll have to excuse the lack of order around here." I snapped, my voice harsher than intended.
On the bedside stand, I took the photo album in my hands, carefully placing it in the suitcase, relieved to have it back and safe in my possession. My felt myself relax, seeing it in front of me, like a weight off my shoulders. I'd sold my soul to the devil for these pictures, and I couldn't bring myself to regret it. They were worth it.
"Not my problem. Besides, you knew better than to come back here." He spat. "Got everything yet?" He asked, looking extremely bored and pissed off. I sighed heavily, trying to compose myself. I zipped of the suitcases, grabbed my handbag and turned to face him.
"Listen, I know you'll probably rip my head off for asking this again but…can't you tell me your name?"
He groaned, letting his head tip back. I felt my eyes land on his long and exposed neck, wishing I hadn't done so the moment I started starting at it. I forced my eyes back to his face, but that glance only lasted about half of a second because the next half, I was pressed against the wall, his body directly in front of me, his forearm crushing into my chest as he held me there.
I yelped in surprise and noted how vividly intense his eyes were, once again, burning into my face. I felt a heat of wave flood through my limbs, and cold chills from his body all at once. My chest hurt, both from my heart pounding violently and his strong hold on it,.
"You're right, I probably will," he hissed, his lips close to mine. "You're very stupid, you know that?"
I gulped, shaking against him. I looked down, avoiding that stare of his. I felt his fingers grip my chin roughly as he pulled my face back up.
"I…I-"
"You what?" He interrupted, cocking an eyebrow.
"Just tell me your name, tell me what you want from me! Tell me-"
"Do you have a death wish, Hersheys? Do you not take my warnings seriously?" He sounded frustrated, mad because I wasn't giving into his authority.
I really should have shut the hell up, I should have taken him seriously…and I did. But the more he refused to tell me anything, the more I kept spewing questions out of my mouth, unable to stop them. I was dangling my own life in his hands and I couldn't stop talking! And now I was going to die, he was going to kill me because I couldn't keep my fat mouth shut when he told me to.
"I'm very aware you can crush me with your little finger, okay? It's just I just sold myself out to you, I'm in your debt and I have no idea what it is you want from me or how it's going to effect me and the last two times we've encountered you've failed to give me your stupid name but you know mine and…yeah, I guess you could say I have a death wish."
His expression softened for a split second, his eyes somewhat tender as if he understood my determination, but as soon as I saw it flash, it was gone, and he was all stone again. He pursed his lips, drawing my attention to them instantly. I could never focus on one aspect of him for too long, because there was always something else that stole the spotlight. His eyes, his lips, his lean build, his elegant hands. The perks of being immortal: you're absolutely stunning to the eyes.
"Alec," he said softly, so soft I could barley hear him.
"Huh?"
"You belong…to Alec…that's my name."
I replayed the name in my head, the more I did so, the more I realized it fit him. Alec just sounded like the sort of name that belonged to a douche. A sophisticated, cruel, messed up douche bag. I didn't know whether I liked it or not, but at least I had a name to go with his face.
"Alec…" I repeated, and his eyes narrowed, as if hearing his name come from my mouth was an insult to him or something.
Alec stepped back, casually folding his arms across his chest.
"Mhm. Are we satisfied?" He asked sarcastically, and I hesitated, wondering if I should ask what he wanted, since he was starting to give answers. Before I could even open my mouth, he was talking again.
"No," he shook his head.
"I didn't say anything!" I protested, raising my arms.
"I know what you're going to ask, and I wont tell you…not just yet." He said and glanced at my bags. "Grab your things and get in the car."
"Where are we going?" I asked dumbly.
"Last warning, Vanessa."
In my foolishness and out of habit, not taking in regard to what he was capable of, I scoffed, rolling my eyes. I muttered an insult under my breath to him, which I knew he heard.
Wrong move.
His face remained calm, which was very eerie. I didn't like how collected and at ease he looked. Then, I saw it.
A hazy, almost translucent mist emerging from the ground. I didn't know what the hell it was, but I knew that something wasn't right.
The room began to spin, and I grabbed at my head, as if that was going to keep me from falling over. My body felt numb beneath me, second my second I was losing sensation.
Alec smiled a small, knowing smile at me, his face leaning in once more.
"Goodnight, Hersheys…"
But by the time he said it, it could have been in a dream, for I was completely emerged in pitch black darkness, not knowing whether I was dead or alive.
Writer's Note: Wow...okay..um...hey guys! For those of you who read The Emotionless Shadow, we're VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY SORRY ABOUT THE UPDATE SITUATION! We're almost done with the last chapter..(yes, for those who didn't know..it's the last chapter..) and very sad but really relieved we're almost finished once and for all. We love TES Alec and Nez but honestly, after two years, it's time for something fresh. This, right here, is fresh! Hope you guys liked the idea, and if we get good responses, we'll continue! We'll continue either way, but feedback will encourage us, haha.
This Alec is very...difficult. Okay, he's an asshole, plain and simple. A lot more so than TES Alec. And this Renesmee isn't sweet innocent Renesmee running away from her family like in TES. She's been on her own for two years and is bitter and feeding on live humans. A lot of differances, which we love.
You might be confused as to what the heck he has planned, but keep reading...eventually it'll start to make sense.
Love you all!
-IITM