A/N: Just something that was floating around in my head. Short and not very pretty. Janeway's POV.
Pairing: J/7
Spoilers: Endgame
With Me
By Socket
I tried too hard, gave too much, ran circles around the moon for her. Just for her. Anything for her.
I expressed all I felt; she asked me to leave.
She is afraid of me now. My cybernetic dream has become a nightmare. I used to watch her sleep; now she locks the door.
She won't play velocity, spends her time with others. Told me I always beat her and should get a worthy opponent. Now I play the game alone: I don't want a replacement.
I was in the shuttle craft today; I burst into tears. Memory is a strange thing. Images returned of that day when I brought her home, stopped her leaving us, leaving me. The day I almost kissed her.
My thoughts are of her, always, yet I am without hope. I possess love, jealousy, but hope has deserted me. She has deserted me.
She used to come to me for advice, now she asks him. I hate him. I want to hurt him. Squeeze his heart till it bursts, like mine.
He finds it hard to look at me - she's told him what I told her, I can tell. There's an intimacy between them that wasn't there before. I created it. I gave her to him.
Space surrounds me; it fills me. I seem to talk in tongues: no one understands me. But I don't care; I've resigned myself to it. Everything changes. Everything ends.
She called me names. Horrible names. Said I had abused her trust, abused her.
"I love you," I said, over and over. She cried, yelled, struck me. I held onto her tightly, but she pushed me away.
The familiar gleam in her eye when she looks at me is gone. Her manner towards me is cold, her voice hollow.
Others have noticed the change, how could they not? No one says anything.
Now, I want her to be as far from me as possible because she does not want me.
I don't know what to do, so I do nothing. I wait; I just need to be patient. This will pass.
The End