Disclaimer: So, yeah… don't own anything…. Though I own the idea, which I think is pretty good, eh? Everything else is JKR's. All hail her!!

Life the Way it Should Be

Chapter One: Of Seers and Drunken Bankers

Harry

So, I guess that the only reason you're reading this is because you thought it'd be entertaining. And, I'm not gonna lie to you, my best friends can be kinda entertaining. But, my life's actually rather ordinary. Well, ok… not ordinary, per se, but it's not like it makes for an amazingly good story, or anything. It could have, but it doesn't. I know what you're thinking. 'It could have'? What the hell does that mean? Well, see, my best mate Ron and I went to see this 'seer' for fun a couple of weeks ago. You know, it was the middle of summer break and we were starting to get a bit bored just playing two-aside-Quidditch every day. I know, blasphemy, right? Bored of Quidditch? But, alas, alack! It is true. We were slightly bored. So, we convinced Ron's mum to let us go into Diagon Alley, where we promised we'd spend most of our time at Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, the joke shop that Ron's brothers, Fred and George (aka the Evil Twins) own. Yeah right. I mean, it's fun to shop for pranks and all, but after four hours with the Evil Twins breathing down your neck, making sure you don't steal stuff, you're kinda ready to go out and do something else.

So, Ron remembered the add he'd seen in the Prophet for a seer (which is weird because he can't remember that we have two parchments on the rise of the Troll Kings due for History of Magic or that you have to use ground pigs' feet in a sleeping draught or else you get painful boils on your arse) so we decided to go check it out. So, we got there and it was this cheep shop and there was this weird lady sitting in this worn purple armchair and she called us "my children" and offered us some suspicious looking tea (which we refused). She asked us what we had come to learn about. We just kinda stared at her. I mean, she's a seer, right? Shouldn't she know that we came to have our fortunes told? But, then she explained to us that she could tell us our future or give us advice or tell us about out past lives, etc. So, Ron went first and he asked her to tell part of his future. But, he only had two galleons, so she didn't tell him that much. Only that he'd be working (with me, nonetheless) in some job for the Ministry of Magic (oh joy) and he'd be happily married, all within ten years.

Then, it was my turn. I had no idea what I wanted to hear from her. So, I just told her to do her best and gave her five galleons. She spent quite a while in her trance while her sweaty hand gripped mine. When she finally snapped out of it, she went into this rant about how my life might had been had things gone differently. She told me that if Sirius (my godfather, who I live with) hadn't gone and destroyed all the other horcruxes with his brother, Uncle Regulus, (like I haven't heard that story a million and one times) my life would have been a lot harder and I would have had to defeat Lord Voldemort when I was seventeen but not after a lot of pain and death and suffering, etc. No shit, Sherlock. I mean, I'm sure that after that, I would have really "known who I was" and I would look back on all my experiences and know that they shaped who I was… but at the expense of people I cared about's lives and happiness? No, I think that my life the way it is is just peachy, thanks.

Anyway, so the seer lady told me that the way my life could have been would have been a best selling series of novels that would make the author the richest person in the world and would change how the world thought about reading, whereas my life as it is now would be a crappy paperback that would sell to about ten people, of which only five would actually finish it and only one would actually enjoy it and that would be the author's sister. I told her thanks before dragging Ron away from the tarot cards. As we were leaving, the seer was mumbling about how she could write a series of seven books and make millions of muggle dollars. Why you'd want to make millions of muggle dollars instead of millions of galleons is beyond me, but… Unless you couldn't make the Wizarding money and had to settle for muggle money instead… Because there is an exchange rate… not a very good one…

Anyway, the moral of this story is that if you're thinking about going to see a seer Rowling, don't.

So, you might be wondering why I said my life isn't ordinary. Well, it's not ordinary, either. Or ordinary. Or ORDINARY. Or even ordinary. It's just… my life. Here, let me start from the beginning.

So, once upon a time Lily Evans and James Potter fell in love at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. When the graduated, an evil wizard, Lord Voldemort, was at large and they wanted to help defeat him so they were recruited into a group called the Order of the Phoenix, founded by non-other than Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, now headmaster of Hogwarts. In the Order were also some of their close friends: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Alice and Frank Longbottom, Molly and Arthur Weasley, Kingsley Shaklebolt. The Order did some great work and together they were able to weaken Lord Voldemort. But, the Dark Lord had an extensive spy network and he heard a prophecy that was not for his ears that said something about him having to kill me. So, he came after me.

Now, you'd think he would have been able to kill me, me being only a year old and all, but we'll get to all that later. See, Voldemort was so afraid of dying that he created horcruxes for himself to hold the pieces of his soul that had shattered because of all the murders he'd committed. So, even if by some odd chance his body was murdered, he wouldn't die because piece of his soul were still tethered to this world. Anyway, so Uncle Regulus used to be a Death Eater (a follower of Voldemort) and he knew about the horcruxes. So, he decided that he was going to try and destroy as many of these horcruxes as he could. He asked his brother, Sirius to help and Sirius agreed. My dad and Remus even helped a bit as well.

Anyway, so when old Moldy-shorts (Ginny, Ron's little sister's nickname for him) showed up at our house in order to kill my parents and me, all his horcruxes were destroyed, but he had no idea. So, he killed my dad and made his way up to me. And he was gonna spare my mother, but she died for me, granting me protection. So, when Voldemort fired the killing curse at me, it backfired and killed him, leaving me as the Boy-who-lived and him dead as a door-knob. Yay.

So, now I live with my godfather, Sirius, but we spend almost all of our time with the Weasleys (Ron's family). They're like our adoptive family. See, every year on December 23, Mrs. Weasley hosts an Order dinner and everyone who was in the Order of the Phoenix has to come. It's not optional. Everyone plans around it. If you don't come, you face the wrath of Molly Weasley and boy is that woman scary. I'm not even joking. Anyway, so I still hang out a lot with everyone. We even know the Minister on a first-name-basis, Kingsley. He's great.

Anyway, so Ron and I have been best friends pretty much since we were two. And the Weasley family is my family. See, I have to stay with them a lot because Sirius has trouble holding down a job sometimes and therefore he has trouble getting money. But we're always welcome to crash at the Burrow, the Weasley residence. When we were in first year, Ron and I made friends with a girl named Hermione Granger. She's great. And we hang out a lot with Ginny because she's only a year younger.

Oh, Ginny. The only member of the Weasley family who I wish wasn't considered family. Because you're not supposed to want to snog your sister's face off, are you? Yes, I'm in love with the beautiful Miss Ginevra Molly Weasley. But, alas, alack! I doubt she feels even remotely the same way. So, I must wallow in my misery. Sigh.

So, that's pretty much my life in a nutshell up till now. See, in about three weeks, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and I (along with the rest of the Wizarding population, ages 11-17) will be returning to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Ron, Hermione and I will be starting our sixth year and while they get the enormously fun (note the sarcasm) job of patrolling the hallways as prefects, I get to be Gryffindor's Quidditch captain. We're in Gryffindor House by the way. The other houses are Huffepuff, Ravenclaw, and… Slytherin. They're named after the four founders of the school. Anyway, at first I was disappointed that I wasn't a prefect because I'm just as good as, if not better than, Ron at most things. But then, at Order dinner last year, Dumbledore told me that he didn't make me a prefect because he wants me to be Quidditch Captain for Gryffindor's house team and that made me feel a helluva lot better. And being Quidditch Captain will be a lot more fun than being a prefect would ever be. So, this year, my sixth year at Hogwarts, I will not only be Seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, but I will also be the captain of said team. Yay!

So anyway, it's the middle of August and Hermione's coming tomorrow to spend the rest of the summer with us and we're going to go back into Diagon Alley to get all our school junk. We got out letters yesterday. I got pretty ok grades… Sirius was proud. Ron did too and Mrs. And Mr. Weasley were proud. I don't really feel like talking about school now, though, seeing as that's all I'll be thinking about in a few weeks time.

Right now, Ron, Ginny, and I are sitting in the garden behind the Burrow, watching all the gnomes try and sneak back into the garden. Tomorrow or the day after, Mrs. Weasley will ask us to de-gnome the garden again. Joy.

"So, Ginny. Ya nervous for your O.W.L.s?" Ron asks, smirking at his sister. How easily he forgets that in a years time, we'll be preparing for out N.E.W.T.s. Double Joy.

"Not really," Ginny says easily, missing her brother's smug look. She looks out into the woods behind the Burrow, as if concentrating on a distance far away. Ron splutters for a few seconds, trying to come up with a good comeback and ends up giving up, mouthing at me 'I got nothing.' "Hey, after Hermione comes tomorrow, you guys wanna go swimming in the lake?" Ginny asks, turning towards us and smiling at the prospect of swimming.

"Sure," Ron says, his face going all dreamy like. He's thinking of Hermione in a bathing suit. Those two have liked each other since around second year and everyone knows it. Everyone, except the two of them. Sometimes it's entertaining, other times it's just plain infuriating.

"How about you, Harry?" Ginny asks, turning towards me, laughing at her brother's expense. I smile and then realize that that means that Ginny will be in a bathing suit as well. Of course I'll be there.

"Sure," I say, smiling at her and then rolling my eyes at Ron. She giggles and my heart flutters. Oh dear Merlin.

Later on that night, we're at dinner and I'm squished between Ginny and Bill. During the summer, all of the Weasley kids try their best to come to the Burrow for at least a week. If they don't, their mum sends the howlers, so you can kinda understand why they all show up. Right now, Bill's here with his fiancé, Fluer Delcour. She competed in the Triwzard Tournament a couple years back. One that Hogwarts hosted. She competed against Cedric Diggory from our school and Victor Krum from Durmstrang. Cedric won!! GO HOGWARTS!!! ETERNAL GLORY, BABY!! That was one hell of a thing to watch. Boy, was I glad that I didn't have to compete! I mean, I guess parts of it looked fun and all, but in general, it just looked really dangerous and an extra stress added to school work. But, power to Ced for competing and winning!! And I get to call him Ced because one of my friends is dating him, so therefore, he is my friend. Yay me for having famous friends!!!

Anyway, so there I am, squished against Ginny because Bill has had one too many drinks and I'd rather he didn't lean too close to me, seeing as he smells rather bad. And Ginny smells sweet. Heavenly sweet. So sweet I could get lost in her smell. Aaaahhh.

Wow, I caught myself just in time! I almost ran her sweet-smelling hair through my hands. That would have gone over well. Note the sarcasm. So, also, I'm a very sarcastic person. Just warning you. I mean, if you have to spend this much time with me you deserve to be forewarned. And don't say I didn't warn you. Because I did, see?

And the Evil Twins are sitting across from us and they're trying to motion to me about something or the other. They're always trying to pull these elaborate pranks and they're always trying to enlist my help. They would ask for help from Ron, but many of these pranks are aimed at him (hence why I refuse to partake…. cough cough). And they're too afraid of Ginny because the girl has a mean bat-bogey hex. So, they always ask for my help. But, right now, I'm simply not in the mood. I'm sorry, Sirius, but I'm not. See, Sirius and my dad were best friends and major pranksters when they were at school. So, Sirius encourages pranking… Wonderful, no?

Oh! Maybe you're wondering why Ron and I call them the Evil Twins? Well, you see, when we were around four or five, the Evil Twins told us this truly horrible story involving a spider, a banshee, and a croquet mallet and neither of us could sleep for weeks. And none of the adults quite understood where our fear came from. So, just as we were getting over it, the Evil Twins dressed up as a spider and a banshee and Ron and I, being four or five, got really scared when they came at us with croquet mallets and ordered us to clean the house. They got in loads of trouble with Mrs. Weasley, but since then, they've been dubbed the Evil Twins. Plus, that's easier than saying Fred and George.

Anyway, at some point when Fleur is trying to explain to Mr. Weasley something about Veela's tongues and how flexible they are and Bill is being shouted at by Mrs. Weasley for getting smashed, and the Evil Twins are trying to tie something suspiciously resembling an extendable ear (one of their inventions) onto Ron's shirt, I excuse myself and squeeze out past Ginny, who follows me along with Ron. When we get out into the backyard, we all plop down onto the grass and lay on our backs, looking up at the stars as warm light from the kitchen spills out on us.

"Wonder why Bill drank so much? He was never like Percy, but he was never one to misbehave," Ginny says, looking over at us curiously. Percy is one of the Weasley boys who is younger than Charlie (who is younger than Bill) but older than the Evil Twins. He works for the ministry now and is a total goody two shoes. He was head boy and had nearly perfect grades. Damn him.

"Trying to show off for Fleur?" Ron shrugs.

"Why would he do that?" Ginny asked, looking at him curiously.

"She's part Veela… You know how at the Quidditch World Cup the Knight Bus guy tried to climb onto the field and tried to impress the Veela and all? Well, maybe Bill's trying to impress her…" Ron easily skips the fact that he and I also tried to do stupid stuff in order to impress the Veela. It ended badly.

Ginny smirked at me, obviously thinking of the same thing. I smiled back.

"So… Ron, you looking forward to seeing Hermione?" Ginny asked, a mischievous glint entering her eyes.

"Yeah- I mean. I guess so… why?" Ron asks, trying to cover up his blush. It's not working, Ron. Everyone knows about Hermione and Ron's crushes. Except for the two of them, of course. When will they ever learn?

The three of us lie back across the grass and look up at the stars.

My name is Harry Potter and I'm the Boy-Who-Lived… and I'm still living to this day.

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So, yeah… this is my H/G fic. I came up with this rather brilliant plan for how to get them to school with no worries… If you have questions, ask and if you have comments, do tell.

I know that Harry probably seems a bit gay… that's because a girl is writing his POV. Give me time to adjust, yeah? Also, this is my first fic in first person… yay!

I'm thinking of doing the next chapter from Ginny's POV and switching between the two… Your thoughts on the matter?

Please review and tell me if this is a completely useless idea!!

Thanks, loves!

Love,

Jess