Disclaimer: I own nothing.

"Three years to the day." I sigh.

"I'd always told myself you'd be back. That you never really died." I grimace at the thought. I feel like an idiot, believing that he never fell.

I turn away from the grave as a sob tries to claw its way out of my throat. My throat burns and my eyes start to well up. I have to keep blinking to keep these shame filled tears at bay.

Yes. Shame. Shame because... "Because I could have stopped it." A small whimper escapes my lips and my hand flies to my mouth to stifle the sound.

"I-I could have done something." Anger flares up at my own words. I could have done something. I would have done something. I turn back to the headstone. I blink the tears away again and my jaw is set.

"It was on you." I glare at the headstone.

"But you neglected to give me... ANYTHING. Not a word on anything. Nothing."

My phone suddenly buzzes in my pocket, making me jump.

"Fuck." I fumble in my pocket to grab the bloody thing. I pull it out. I don't want to read the bloody text.

"Fucking git. Who the hell is giving me a damn-" I trail off.

The text.

No.

'John.' -SH

No.

My hand drops to my side and I look away.

No... No.

I read the text again.

No.

"Who. The. FUCK. Is. Having. Me. On?" I grit through my teeth.

"FUCKING-" I can't even finish the fucking sentence. I throw the phone as hard as I can, thankfully only scaring a couple of pigeons. My breath is ragged. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself.

"John."

My breathing stops entirely.

"John."

I turn around very slowly to find a tall, unhealthily skinny man with dark curly hair in a long dark coat staring sadly at me. He takes a step forward but I follow his movement by stepping back to keep the distance between us. He sees me step back and stops his advance. His eyes seem to grow even sadder, if that's even possible at this point.

"John, I-"

"No."

I meet his eyes.

"No."

I turn my back to him and hear him step forward.

"Don't follow me."

The ground moves beneath my feet as they form a steady rhythm, padding along. I walk through the cemetery, just trying to put more and more distance between myself and...

I don't care where I'm going.

I'm just...

Too far gone.