A/N Welcome! This is my first entry into the West Wing fanfic universe. Hope you like! Do let me know what you think.

Takes place post-Noel, pre-17 people. It won't really follow the timeline of the rest of series 2, so assume it's pretty AU post-Noel!

Act 1 - Perspectives and Priorities

"I'm just saying, I don't think he should be able to blackmail the President's office like this!"

"Josh…"

"Seriously Toby, we need to stop letting this bunch of over enthusiastic, careerist senators from our own party breathe down our necks like this. They know talk of re-election is coming and I don't want them to begin to form an opposition to President Bartlet right under out noses!"

Josh stopped at the door to his office, leaning on the door frame. He ran one hand through his hair and watched as Toby Zeigler bit the inside of his lip and let his eyes wander.

"You think there will be a formal opposition?" Toby finally asked quietly.

"…I just think that we have a legislative agenda to-"

"Josh."

"I don't know, Toby!" Josh placed one hand on his forehead, "It's just…I've been hearing things and-"

"Hoynes."

"What?"

"It's Hoynes, isn't it?"

"Yeah…" Josh sighed, allowing his hand to smack off his leg as he let it drop back to his side. Toby narrowed his eyes slightly.

"You meet with Senator Crunden and try and secure a few more votes, just to make sure the bill is safe. I'll go see Hoynes. Then we take this to Leo," Toby replied monotonously, "Keep things quiet with CJ. I'll see if Sam has heard anything. This stays away from the President, Josh."

"I've got it, Toby!" Josh reassured him, stepping into his office.

Toby strolled slowly across the bullpen to his own office, turning his head absent-mindedly to spot Sam scratching his head over the latest Presidential address. He let himself fall onto his desk chair and picked up the pink rubber ball that lay on top of his papers for the day.

Clearing his throat, and ignoring the call of 'Donna!' coming from Josh's office, Toby flung the ball at the glass window that partitioned Sam's office from his own. It bounced back into his hands before he did it again. And again. And again.

"What!?" Sam asked incredulously as he stepped into Toby's office.

"4 bounces."

"What?"

"It took you 4 bounces to respond, Sam," Toby mumbled. He didn't flinch when Sam only waved his arms in response.

"What's the deal, Toby?" He asked.

"We have a problem, close the door."

"Not this again, Donna…"

"Coca Cola contains 16 sugar lumps a bottle, Josh. It's not good for your teeth, your calorie intake or your blood sugar levels."

"Why thanks, Doctor Moss!" Josh took another sip from his Coke bottle before holding it up in a mock-toast, "If you hadn't told me the dangers of sugar, who knows where my life will have ended up?"

"Don't mock me Josh," Donna replied with a straight face, "The after effects of too much sugar in your later years will really hit you. Then you'll realise you should have listened to me."

"Whatever. Is Toby back?" Josh waved her persistence away with another sip from the bottle.

"He's in his office," a scowling Donna replied, before shouting after him across the bullpen, "Diet Coke is a much better alternative!"

Josh turned round and walked backwards, holding his arms out beside him, knocking a couple of files over in the process.

"But we all know it tastes like crap, Donna!"

"Polls? He's conducting his own polls?" Josh threw his plastic bottle across Toby's office towards the bin, wincing when it rebounded off the side of it and dropped to the floor.

"Yes," was Toby's quick reply, "and he wanted me to know. Otherwise he wouldn't have said anything."

"So…" Sam crinkled his forehead as he picked up Josh's bottle and placed it in the bin, "We are saying that he looks to be forming an official challenge to President Bartlet?"

"Yes."

"Toby…"

"Josh, this is exactly what we have to assume. He attacked the oil industry for price-gouging today!" Toby raised his voice slightly, "Hoynes is plotting to usurp the President."

"Who's plotting to usurp the President?"

Josh and Sam jumped as the door to Toby's office opened suddenly. Toby looked away as Leo McGarry entered the room.

"Leo!" Josh exclaimed, sitting up straight a little too quickly, causing his vision to blur, "Don't do that!" He continued angrily.

Leo looked at him, plain-faced, for a second, before turning back to Toby.

"Who's plotting to usurp the President?"

Both Sam and Josh looked back and forth between Leo and Toby, Sam opening his mouth on a number of occasions as if to interrupt. Josh rubbed his eyes briefly, trying to shake off the sudden dizziness.

"Hoynes," Toby eventually replied, meeting Leo's gaze. Josh's head dropped and Sam grimaced, waiting for Leo's reaction.

"Hoynes?" Leo's jaw set slightly.

"Uhh… I think we better take this to your office, Leo," Josh suggested, finally breaking the eye contact between Toby and Leo.

It was late. Too late for any mere mortal. Josh bitterly laughed to himself as he strolled back to his office at 2.30 a.m. He, Sam and Toby had only just finished explaining what they suspected to Leo. As expected, Leo played down any moves Hoynes may have been trying to pull, but Josh noticed he was very rugged in his defence of the Vice-President. Not entirely like Leo, he noted. Everyone knew Hoynes was envious of President Bartlet's position, even Leo. In fact, Leo was always the one to pull him back down in the pecking order whenever he stepped off the party line.

Josh shook his head as he stepped back into his office, striding round the door and leaning, back to the wall, as he did so often. His doctor had told him to do it after Christmas. Stress-relief, supposedly. Josh thought it had become more of a habit than anything else.

It had been two months since Christmas. Two months since he'd put his hand through the window. Two months since Leo's 'man falling into a hole' speech.

Josh hated the truth. The real truth. The truth that every time he heard music he heard gunshots. That every time the shooting was recalled he began to sweat. The truth that he would wake up in the middle of the night with a dull ache where his scar was. The truth that the name and number of the therapist he had been given in the new year was still lying, untouched, in the second drawer of his desk.

He sighed briefly, laying his head back on the wall. He used to hate being in work until this late. Nowadays it was a relief. He struggled to sleep anyway. It felt easier for him to stay in the office and work. If he fell asleep at his desk, he was fine with it. He just hoped his sleep would be uninterrupted.

Josh really did hate himself for it. He hated that he still refused to get the help the psychologist managed to convince him he needed. He figured at first that after Christmas, he didn't need to talk to anyone else, that he knew what was wrong with him and so would be able to deal with it. Deep down, knowing he had a problem scared him. Having to talk to someone about it and deal with it scared him more. He didn't want it to affect his job, nor those that worked around him.

Then again, he knew he was making a mistake. The nightmares told him enough. He just didn't know what he wanted to do about it.

"Josh."

Josh jumped and opened his eyes. Leo was peering around the door at him, straight faced as usual.

"Leo."

"You're still here," Leo commented.

"So are you," came Josh's reply as he strolled back over to his desk, leaning on the front of it. Leo's eyes narrowed as he watched his deputy.

"Sam and Toby have just gone. I'll go and brush things over with Hoynes tomorrow, just to make sure," Leo reiterated what was said at the end of the meeting.

"Uh-huh," Josh nodded, smiling slightly, well aware of his boss's piercing gaze.

"Are you okay, Josh?" Leo asked suddenly.

"What? Yeah of course I am!" Josh replied quickly, with a smile, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I mean are you okay, Josh?" Leo emphasised.

"Leo…"

"I'm going to keep asking you. These things take a while."

"I'm fine, Leo," Josh insisted.

"Right. Good," Leo smiled and patted the side of Josh's arm quickly, "I'm out of here. Should be able to catch 3 hours sleep if I'm lucky. I'll see you in the morning, alright?"

Leo closed the door shut quietly behind him.

Josh bit the inside of his lip and grasped the bridge of his nose with the thumb and forefinger of his left hand. He tried to resist admonishing himself, remembering that something big was going to go down with Hoynes, no matter what Leo said. He sighed loudly before heading round to his desk chair and opening the folder on the top of the small mountain Donna managed to not organise.

Josh hated the truth.

The real truth.

The truth that everyday he lied to Leo McGarry. And the truth that everyday it killed him.

Bit of a short chapter to start with, but they'll get longer. Please let me know what you think!