Who would have thought? Betrayal. Death. Imprisonment. This wasn't the way
we planned our future. We had such high hopes-of happiness and that we'd be
friends forever. James and Lily started a family and Harry had three doting
uncles. Funny that. Harry looks so much like James but odd flashes of how
he behaves just scream of Lily.
I can't remember how we found out. That Voldemort was after them. Those last six months were a time of fear and worry. James and Lily, dead? It couldn't be true. How could they be found?
Realisation washed over me. They were betrayed. Sirius and James were like brothers. I couldn't understand why he'd sell out on someone who was closer than his own family. I tried to stop Peter from finding him. Why should he have listened? I never was the one with the influence in our group. Always James or Sirius. I was the one who was too afraid to make waves-in case someone found out my secret.
For nearly 12 years I thought Peter was dead. Killed by someone I had regarded as a best friend. And for a short while a lover. During these years, I pushed him to the back of my mind. Had I judged his character so terribly wrong?
A time of mixed feelings ensued after he escaped from Azkaban. Guilt for not telling Dumbledore about Sirius's Animagus form. What if he hurt someone? It would be my fault. Did I feel some misplaced loyalty towards someone who was so close for so long? Finally a sense of elation and hope as the truth was uncovered.
We could try to recover the lost years-first via owl, then when he stayed with me. Yet only a year after resuming our affair, it was cut short by his senseless death. He was too energetic to be able to stay cooped up-no matter what Dumbledore thought. He could not turn his back when his godson was in danger.
Am I selfish in wanting him back? Which Sirus did I want-the young devil may care prankster of our Hogwarts days or the angry man child that lived in a house that he hated?
Let him go. Keep my memories safe and try and reconstruct my life again. I did it once, I can do it again. I will still be me-but keeping the spirits of those Hogwarts boys alive in my heart. Those boys are long dead but will never be forgotten.
In Loving Memory of Sirus Black
1960-1996
The brightest star in the heavens
I can't remember how we found out. That Voldemort was after them. Those last six months were a time of fear and worry. James and Lily, dead? It couldn't be true. How could they be found?
Realisation washed over me. They were betrayed. Sirius and James were like brothers. I couldn't understand why he'd sell out on someone who was closer than his own family. I tried to stop Peter from finding him. Why should he have listened? I never was the one with the influence in our group. Always James or Sirius. I was the one who was too afraid to make waves-in case someone found out my secret.
For nearly 12 years I thought Peter was dead. Killed by someone I had regarded as a best friend. And for a short while a lover. During these years, I pushed him to the back of my mind. Had I judged his character so terribly wrong?
A time of mixed feelings ensued after he escaped from Azkaban. Guilt for not telling Dumbledore about Sirius's Animagus form. What if he hurt someone? It would be my fault. Did I feel some misplaced loyalty towards someone who was so close for so long? Finally a sense of elation and hope as the truth was uncovered.
We could try to recover the lost years-first via owl, then when he stayed with me. Yet only a year after resuming our affair, it was cut short by his senseless death. He was too energetic to be able to stay cooped up-no matter what Dumbledore thought. He could not turn his back when his godson was in danger.
Am I selfish in wanting him back? Which Sirus did I want-the young devil may care prankster of our Hogwarts days or the angry man child that lived in a house that he hated?
Let him go. Keep my memories safe and try and reconstruct my life again. I did it once, I can do it again. I will still be me-but keeping the spirits of those Hogwarts boys alive in my heart. Those boys are long dead but will never be forgotten.
In Loving Memory of Sirus Black
1960-1996
The brightest star in the heavens