All characters and material within belong to J.K. Rowling. I am in no way gaining any profit from this piece of text.
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The unknown Peter Pettigrew Story
As he slipped into the world beyond, the recently deceased man arrived at a platform, one that seemed oddly familiar. It was here that he heard a voice, one he'd not heard in years. "Peter?" "Lily." The two looked at each other, Lily disappointed in him, and Peter feeling he didn't deserve even this much, from one of the many that he'd betrayed in his life. "Why are you here?" "To greet you of course, as well as to understand, why Peter?" "I'm sorry, I know I have no right to say that, but please, listen to me when I say, it wasn't my fault." "What do you mean Peter?" "Just, listen to my story…"
Growing up Peter hardly had any friends, though he always attributed it to the fact that he was a wizard, and couldn't relate to others because of it. However when he first started attending Hogwarts, Peter discovered that people saw him as a useless lump whose only use was for taking up space. The only friends that Peter had during his first year was his pet ferret, as well as the giant squid that lived in the lake, though said squid was friendly to most students.
Even though he was placed in Griffindor, Peter felt he was too much of a coward to be in the noble red house. He'd heard how one member had out right said to the hat to put him in Griffindor, and yet the only thing Peter did was cower on the seat, and wetting himself for all to see, which lead to most students jinxing him in-between classes, whereby he could do nothing to stop it. He was useless at magic, either casting half spells, or the wrong one entirely. Of course it didn't help that his own housemates would torment him, mostly for not sticking up for himself. This came to a point, during his third year, when after being hit by a nasty hex, from the stuck up git Malfoy, Peter's only true friend in the world, his ferret Stripe, was flung around the inner grounds of the castle, by none other than Malfoy's cronies, Crabb and Goyle, whilst Peter was being assaulted by every bullying spell known by the pompous Slytherin boy.
When it became apparent that nobody was going to help Peter, the boy begged Malfoy to stop, degrading himself to the level of a house elf to save his friend. However, even after he agreed to this, Malfoy told the thugs toying with the ferret to toss the rodent off the astronomy tower, and before Peter could make a move to object, four separate spells collided with the three bullies, knocking them off their feet, as the final one managed to levitate the thankful ferret to the ground.
It was only then that Peter noticed who'd stood up for him. It was four of the most unlikely of individuals. James Potter, the most recent addition to the Griffindor Quidditch team, who was notorious for being a rule dodger. Sirius Black, the only member of his family not in Slytherin, let alone Griffindor, and also James' best friend and partner in crime. Remus Lupin, quiet loner, who always managed to get ill every month, yet was still a straight 'A' book worm. And finally Lily Evans, a girl infamous for not only being the most accomplished witch of her age, but also because her abilities are said by some to be purely innate, seeing as how she came from a non-wizarding family.
Once the five moved away from the scene, so that the Caretaker wouldn't bring bloody hell upon the quintet, Peter asked, with a stutter, why the four of them had helped out. Everyone else just looked at each other, James said he was only really just blasting at Malfoy, and not really paying attention to anything else, Sirius said that he was just copying James, and Remus only looked at Peter before leaving. Only Lily gave a proper answer, in that she saw someone being bullied, and went to help. It was at that moment, Peter gained a shred of self-esteem, there was someone in this world willing to help him out. With this new insight, Peter spent the rest of the year sneaking out after hours to practice his spells.
Not only did these little nightly outings serve to help him become a better wizard, but it also boosted his confidence when he managed to get the desired spell he was casting for. Peter also managed to find out who was sneaking off on secret liaisons during the night, mostly due to the fact that he'd hear people, mostly prefects, head into specific locations, that either weren't monitored due to an unwritten rule amongst the elder students, or were essentially common rooms used specifically by these members of the student body. Some of the match ups that Peter saw were stuff of a blackmailer's dream come true. It was during this time that Peter witnessed a lone figure in a cloak head off to the Whomping Willow tree one night, only to disappear, and yet not return till the early morning, two days later.
As the months wore on Peter had enough self-conviction that the next time Malfoy attacked, Peter was not only able to deflect the jinx, but cast a counter spell upon the bleached haired prat. When Malfoy recovered from the shock of the spell, he decided to just curse the little dick-weed to teach him who was the superior wizard, yet he didn't get a chance, for James and Sirius jumped him and proceeded to kick his teeth in. Though this did earn all three Griffindor's a detention, as well as a 100-point deduction, each, James and Sirius told Peter that they'd been watching him for some time now. Really the two felt sorry for the kid, Sirius because he got this treatment from his family, and James because he always stuck out for those he considered a mate. It was at that moment that the three of them became friends.
The next year the three of them always did everything together, with James and Sirius doing the really daring stuff, and Peter cheering them on. There were times when James and Peter would have their own adventures, namely telling off uppity prefects and Head Students via the use of blackmail, and sneaking into the kitchens together to name a few, but the most that they ever really did together was help out Sirius whenever any other member of the Black family decided to take any frustrations out on him at school. There were also times when James had Quidditch practice, which Peter and Sirius would explore on their own. Mostly they hid from the Caretaker, and various people that wanted the duo to suffer, however the most accomplished feat that Black and Pettigrew managed to pull off was the discovery of the way into Hogsmeade. Now due to issues with his family, Sirius wasn't allowed permission to venture into the town, however with the passage nutted out, Sirius could now join James and Peter whenever a Hogsmeade trip was planned. Peter rarely did anything on his own, though when he did, James and Sirius would always have an eye out for their friend.
It was during the Christmas break when the trio found themselves with nothing to do. After the thrill of Hogsmeade had died down, what with Dumbledore making sure that the three could enjoy the town without intervention, and James' Invisibility Cloak becoming nothing more than tool for blackmail, and finally between the three of them, having explored most, if not all of the castle, they decided that aside from practicing some spells, Hogwarts was steadily becoming boring. Peter, having remembered the cloaked figure from last year, suggested that the three of them investigate it. For the next couple of months the trio took shifts under the cloak, each keeping a lookout for the cloaked figure.
After planning, and sussing out the figure's schedule, they came to realise that the being was going to the tree before the night of a full moon, and returning from the tree the morning after. The trio's next plan of action was to follow said figure to the tree, the next night before a full moon. Upon doing so, they found out that the person they'd been following was in fact Remus Lupin, and after finding out how he immobilised the Willow tree, the three decided to regroup to process this new info.
For nearly four years, the trio had always known that Remus got sick every month, always spending at least two nights in the infirmary, and yet here he was, fit as a fiddle, and sneaking off. Many theories were thrown around as to what he was doing whilst being 'sick', he was having a secret liaison, he was reading restricted material, he was a werewolf, but without proof, nothing was to come of it. So they agreed that the next day, after class, the three would hide under the cloak, and sneak off to see Lupin. When they arrived at Lupin's hide away inside the Shrieking Shack, he begged them to leave before it was too late. And yet before they did Lupin started to transform, it was only by luck, magical skill, and Peter's brain being used to pissing himself with fear, that the three of them managed to barricade themselves off from the Werewolf.
The next morning Lupine explained to them what'd happened to him as a boy, and how he was cursed to be like this. An outcast and a cursed half-breed amongst the wizarding community. Then, as if unanimously, the three told him, "So what". They then decided to keep his secret, so that he wouldn't have to leave Hogwarts, and even though it was James and Sirius that invited Remus into their circle of friends, it was Peter who posed the question of how to keep Remus company during his 'time of the month'.
As the year went on, the quartet grew quite close. James and Sirius showed Remus how to enjoy life, Remus helped the trio out with their school work, even though James was an average student, and didn't really need that much help, and Peter would always ask Remus questions about his transformation. By the time that Spring neared it's end James had an answer, and proceeded to train not only himself, but Peter and Sirius, into becoming Animagi. The revelation came about due to Peter's comment about keeping Remus company during his full moon walks, and how Remus said, due to nightmares, that he rarely found himself attacking any animals unless thoroughly provoked, or hungry.
Over the summer, Peter and Sirius stayed with the Potters, where the two along with James trained to become Animagi. Remus would have stayed to, however he said he couldn't risk it for the whole summer. By the time school started up again, all three of them had it down pat, with just Peter still showing some slight difficulty. During this year the four of them made up new names for themselves, based in their animal forms, and decided on the collective name of Marauders, to call their little gang.
As the years passed, and the Marauders made a name for themselves, albeit secretly, they would remain friends well into their adult lives, and during one of the Great Wizarding Wars, the true value of their friendship would be put to the test, as well as on the line.
Each Marauder was inducted into the Order of the Phoenix, however during an attack by Death Eaters, it was leaked to Voldemort and his forces, who each of the Members were. Voldemort wished for a double agent, one already within the Order, so as to tear it down from the inside out, and the one who was unanimously selected by his most loyal to be the double agent, the one nobody would suspect, was to be Peter Pettigrew.
At this time, Peter had grown strong, he was a master information gatherer, due to the size of his animal form, had a keen intellect of society's various underworlds, and the codename Wormtail was as famous amongst the wizarding world as the rest of the Marauders, with each one portraying a specific skill that benefited the Order greatly. However, even though all this was true, physically and magically, Peter was still the weakest of his friends and allies, and when he was spirited away by Death Eaters one night, he could put very little resistance.
Now many wonder why Peter was put into Griffindor in the first place, even Peter himself thought this during his school life, and well into his days fighting alongside his school friends during the war. However that question was squashed when Peter was captured. It is said that not many can withstand Voldemort's torture for long, and that the longest to crack someone was roughly 30 minutes, by a combination of Legilimency and the Cruciatus curse. Peter however put that record to shame. His belief in his friends kept his will from shattering, and his time as an information gatherer had bolstered his resistance to mind reading. Peter held out long into the night, and after five hours of torture, he still refused to become Voldemort's double agent.
Normally, Voldemort would have killed Peter, however this would have revealed too soon that he knew that identities of the Order Members. So instead Voldemort brought out a weapon he'd discovered. A piece of magical technology from the Department of Mysteries, powered by his dark magic, would turn anyone into Voldemort's willing slave. However all tests indicated that due to Voldemort's tampering with his soul, and the instability of the device, all subjects were turned into gibbering vegetables, barely of use for his schemes, and yet Peter displayed the willpower and tenacity to warrant a trial of the device upon him.
Needless to say Wormtail resisted, and yet due to the nature of the device, he failed. Wormtail was turned into an unwilling Death Eater that day, and was forced to watch as he accepted the Dark Mark, strengthening Voldemort's hold over him, and sealing away most of his free will in the process. As Peter, trapped within his own mind, tried his hardest to break free, to tell someone anything of his predicament, he witnessed how he butchered good innocent people, upon the orders of Voldemort, including his own family, all to make the Order trust him all the more.
After months of this, the worst thing in the world imaginable came to pass. Voldemort was gunning for Peter's friends, James and Lily Potter, and their newborn son, Harry. Peter fought off Voldemort's control, harder than he'd ever done so, all to stop himself from betraying the only true friends he'd ever had. This resulted in a partial transformation into his rat form, which he realised gave him a stronger resistance against Voldemort's influence, however it was short lived. James and Lily invited him to their home one afternoon, the last they ever saw, and told Peter, that he was now the secret keeper of their home. They were putting their faith, and their lives into Peter's hands.
Peter tried so much to tell them to stop him, he tried to warn someone, tried to resist, tried even to end his miserable life. However in the end he failed at this too. He handed the information over to Voldemort, and his friends were killed. None the less, in a stroke of luck, Voldemort was felled that night as well. This caused the hold he had on Peter's mind, to fracture it, as Voldemort's lingering soul fragments tried to keep a hold on Peter, whilst Peter's own conviction fought to regain control. Peter was driven mad, the two sides fighting for control, now co-operating together, all to keep Peter alive at all costs.
This would be another load added to Peter's suffering, as well as a blessing. When he was confronted by Sirius Black for his actions, Peter's shattered mind transformed him into a rat, and let Sirius take the blame for not only the Potter's death, but his and eight innocent muggles' murder as well. As he'd realised earlier, Peter had more control over himself as a rat, and now with Voldemort's power weakened, Peter had full control over his actions. He decided that rather than lose his mind again, he would go into penance for his actions, and use the time he had to formulate a plan, one to end his suffering.
During the next twelve years, Peter came to be known as Scabbers, and gave blessing to every bit of mistreatment the Weasley boys threw at him. Then it happened, Harry Potter. Peter met Harry Potter, though as Scabbers, he met the one that had helped in his freedom, and yet he also felt it more, Voldemort was still alive. Peter began on his new plan, taking into account the madness he felt throughout the next two years at Hogwarts to determine his actions, Peter decided to do what he now knew best. Become a double agent, to bring down Voldemort. Of course his plan was cut short upon hearing about Sirius' escape, and finding out that the cat of the Granger child was allied with Peter's old school friend, he decided to search out for Voldemort.
Yet he was exposed, as a friend killing traitor, and he couldn't let his vengeance slip by now, but upon regaining human form, his mind, which having been exposed to Harry, and Voldemort throughout the past two years, fractured more, to the point where the old Peter, no longer remained. Though this was short lived, as a spark of his old self reawakened, upon Harry sparing his life.
A year later Peter, after attempting to steer Voldemort away from Harry, gained the weapon with which to finally regain himself, a silver hand. It was here that the last vestige of Peter Pettigrew resided, waiting for his moment, having witnessed first hand that Harry had the power to stop Voldemort, and the echoes of his old friends Lily and James, upon holding back the Death Eaters that night, understood, forgave, and instilled Peter with the conviction, of once and for all, helping Harry as much as possible.
This however wouldn't pay off until, all most three years later, when Peter was sent to kill Harry and company in the dungeon of the Malfoy Manor. The last shred of Peter's will that remained in his hand used a single moment of hesitation, to finish his failer of a life. A single moment, born from his past experiences coupled with his future predicament. His countless bullyings by Malfoy and the Blacks he was now serving, the face and kind eyes that saved him he was forced to extinguish, the mark burned into his arm by the very man he was fighting, the boy whose family had cared for him that he now took delight in torturing, the friends he'd cared for so deeply who he'd betrayed so selfishly. All these Peter's will forced his mind to experience, resulted in the single defining moment when his body froze, and he Peter Pettigrew, Messer Wormtail, took action as the silver hand, to end the miserable existence he was forced to endure the day the mark was placed upon his arm.
"Oh, Peter, you pour thing." Lily's ghost said to the ethereal man before her, and before either of them could say anything more, the forms of James and Sirius rounded a pillar, with the usual line that they'd been holding up the wall all by themselves.
"James, Sirius, I'm so sorry, I know I don't deserve forgiveness for my actions, but please, at least understand, I… I never meant to…"
"We understand, and honestly, now that I know what happened, I can see that dieing wasn't even an option." Sirius told Peter, clearly remembering the words he told him the last time they were at the Shrieking Shack.
James on the other hand was silent, a first for him. He walked over to Peter and said "You really are a Griffindor Pete, I'm sorry to hear that you've suffered for so long, and I thank you for saving my son, and doing your best to protect him, but I doubt I could forgive you just yet… Maybe in time… What do you think Mooney?"
And with that the figures of Remus and Nymphadora Lupin appeared to the four of them. Remus replied to his friend "After having been through what I have, it gives me a better understanding of the madness within. I know what it's like to lose yourself, so yes I do apologise, but I'll only forgive you, when Harry does. That seems fair right Peter."
"Yes Remus, and again I do apologise… I'll leave now guys…"
And with that Peter Pettigrew roamed the afterlife, with the guilt of his actions weighing on his soul, until the faithful day he ran into the elderly form of Harry Potter, and as he explained his story to Boy who Lived, Harry told Peter, that the Marauder, was forgiven, but the Lionhearted Scoundrel refused, saying "My penance isn't done yet Harry, but thank-you anyway…"
The End