I'm sorry Shepard.
That was one of the few things Tali thought, when she heard yet another explosion at the door behind her. After the Geth attacked, she had locked herself up in the observatory on Heastrom to keep herself and the data about the dying sun safe. But she wouldn't stay safe for long. The Geth were apparently swarming at the entrance and she could hear them trying to get the doors open. The last transmission she received from her team had notified her of a Colossus coming in. And after that she heard nothing of them anymore. Everyone was probably dead, and she would join them soon.
She was saddened at the thought that so many people had to die for some scientific data about stars. Tali and her team would give everything for the fleet, but she doubted that this was worth the price. And now it was all in vain. The last copy of the data was on the console before her and the Geth that had appeared out of nowhere were on the verge of seizing it.
Damn it, Tali, damn it, she thought when she felt the ground shudder around her. She had promised Shepard that she'd join him when her mission was done and now she would disappoint him. A tear came to her eye. She thought she'd never break a promise she made to him, but right now thanks to the Geth, she would leave him after promising that she'd return. She could only hope that it was true that the departed Ancestors watched over everyone. Then she could at least fulfill part of her promise.
She had been looking forward to serving on the Normandy again. Shepard had saved her during her pilgrimage and after spending so much time near him, she grew fond of him. At first she thought of it as a silly crush that would never turn into something real, but after he died she knew that it was more than that. Many nights, she woke up crying when she thought about the attack. She dreamt about having him near her, him taking off her mask… She loved him and the thought of his fate always made her cry. It took a long time for her to mourn him and to be able to sleep normally again. However, she kept feeling lonely. No one had ever treated her as well as Shepard and now he was gone. But after two long years, he had returned. She was planning to use the second chance to tell him how she felt, but now that was impossible as well.
Impossible? No, I can still tell him… she thought when opening up her omni-tool. She checked the range and noticed that her team's ship could still transmit the message with its long-range communicators. She sighed and tapped a few buttons. This wasn't how she imagined it, but she could at least die with less regrets than before. She tapped the record button and hesitantly started speaking.
"Shepard… John… I'm sorry. I promised you I'd join up with your team after my next mission. But right now I've locked myself into a room and-" A loud explosion interrupted her and made the room tremble before she continued. "And as you can hear, the Geth are trying to get in. I really wanted to come back to the Normandy, but right now it seems that I won't be able to do that. I'm sending this message to… to thank you for everything you did for me. You saved me many times, made me fly around in the most advanced ship in the galaxy, helped me with my pilgrimage… But more importantly, you were a good friend. No one, not even another Quarian, treated me as well as you did. I enjoyed the talks we often had in engineering, just as I enjoyed my time on your ship and I knew I'd never forget it." She felt tears rolling down on her face as she was thinking of all those good memories.
"But there's something else I wanted to tell you. Something I should've said before you... died. I just didn't think it would be appropriate and whether you felt the same way… I wanted to say that ever since the first Normandy, I-I've fallen in love with you. Not saying it was what I regretted the most when I saw the Normandy burning and after I saw you on Freedom's Progress, I promised myself that I'd tell you. I wanted to do it in person, but this seems like the closest I can get. The Geth are almost inside… but I'll put up a good fight for you. And when I'm with the Ancestors, I'll be watching over you when you're saving the galaxy again. I wanted to be at your side when it happened but… sorry. Good luck with your mission… and know that wherever you go, I'll be there. I'm sorry John, stay safe out there. Keelah se'lai. Tali."
After she finished, she set her omni-tool so that she could send the message as soon as the Geth made their way inside. She immediately sat down, put her head in her hands and started crying. Keelah, I'll lose him again, she thought.
She calmed down after a few minutes. The explosions hadn't stopped and Tali was surprised that the old construction could withstand their blasts for so long. She decided to see if anyone of her team was still alive, it was better than dwelling on what would happen soon.
"Tali'Zorah to base camp. Come in base camp," she said into the nearby console. There came no response. She repeated it and again, there was only silence. She sighed. Keelah, everyone is dead, she thought, now there's really no hope left. When she was on the verge of closing down the comm-channel, she suddenly heard a familiar voice answer. One she never expected. "Tali, it's Shepard."
It didn't take long for him to get to Tali's location. She had been waiting with her shotgun in her hands until she heard lots of gunfire, followed by a loud bang made by the exploding colossus. As soon as it seemed safe, she opened the doors. Shepard walked in, wearing the same N7 armor she saw on Freedom's Progress. He was followed by a woman clad in black that she didn't recognize. Tali instantly grabbed him in a tight hug, while she started sobbing again.
"Keelah Shepard, I thought I was going to… to die in here," she said while shaking in his comforting embrace.
"It's okay Tali, you're safe. Are you alright?"
"Yes and… thank you… for saving me again."
They both let go of the hug after she calmed down. "It was the least I could do after having you save me so many times. And… I could use your help on the Normandy if you want to come with us."
Tali smiled under her mask. "I'll happily join you Shepard. Besides, I already promised that I would on Freedom's Progress. I'll send the data to the Admiralty Board and come with you. If the admirals have a problem with that, they can go to hell… I-I just lost my entire team for their stupid data."
"Maybe not all of them ma'am." She heard when a Quarian was helped into the room by a familiar Turian.
"Kal! You're alive. And it's good to see you again Garrus."
"Your commander is the only reason I'm still here, ma'am. He's really as good as you told us. I've never seen anyone take out a Colossus like that."
Garrus smirked. "You get used to him doing such things."
"You do indeed," Tali said.
"Do we need to give you a lift to the Migrant Fleet, Reegar?" Shepard asked.
"Thank you, but our ship is still undamaged. If we can go before Geth reinforcements arrive, we'll be fine."
"Actually, I won't be going with you. I'm joining Commander Shepard," Tali said. "I already promised him I would when our mission was done."
"I'll pass on the data to the Admiralty Board and tell them what happened. She's all yours now Shepard, keep her safe."
"I will Kal, take care."
Shepard introduced Kasumi and they helped Kal'Reegar to his ship. They talked a bit while waiting for their own shuttle to arrive.
When it finally did, Tali spoke up: "It's good to be back on the Normandy."
Shepard smiled. "And it's good to have you back."
After hearing that, Tali smiled as well. I've been given another chance to tell him, she thought. And I will as soon as I can. She opened her omni-tool and deleted the message she recorded in the observatory. It wasn't needed anymore, but it had given her the strength to finally tell him how she felt. To do what she had wanted since the SR-1. To be happy.
Author's note: Thank you for reading my story! I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to write a review and/or send a PM if you want to. And again, let me know if you have tips to improve my writing.
Inspired by: "Mass Effect: One Last Goodbye" by GoG ToXiC