1. Meaning
She's out the door, and her thoughts turn to her Aunt Reed, and what the woman could possibly want with her now, when she hears hurried footsteps approach her from behind.
"So, Jane."
She turns back to see Mr. Rochester, a thin smile upon his lips.
"Etiquette? How do we say goodbye? Teach me, I'm, uh, I'm not quite up to it."
She feels flattery rise up in her, and she demonstrates how to do so, even throwing in a little curtsy to him in the process.
Afterwards, she sees a hint of amusement reflected in his green-blue eyes. She's well aware that he takes delight in having her teach him things.
"And what must I say in return?" He asks.
"The same, if you like." She replies, a small smile breaking free from her.
He nods a little, thinking. Then he holds out his hand to her.
She takes it, his hand warm against hers.
"Then I will say…" He moves closer to her, and it's now that she realizes that whenever he's with her, he always moves close to her. She's like a magnet to him.
"Don't go, Jane." He continues, and as his eyes lock with hers, she glimpses the hidden sadness that he holds within himself. "What will I do without your help?"
It's out before she can even stop herself. "Sir, you will not be in danger."
As she finishes her reassuring statement, something changes in his face, and she senses that he is hurt.
Blanche calls for him and he turns away from her, letting go of her hand.
Her hand feels so cold from the loss of his own, and as he retreats from her, she suddenly comes to the conclusion of something.
That's not what he meant.
2. Wishing
She descends the steps, on her way to her bedroom, fighting hard to suppress the hot tears blurring her vision from slipping down her face. Lady Ingram's words had hurt her more than it should, especially the so-called belief that governesses often have an expressed interest in their masters, that she just wanted to get away, to be alone for the rest for the night.
"How do you do, Jane?"
She stops in her tracks, and turns to Mr. Rochester a few feet away from her.
She tells him she's fine, which is, of course, a lie, but what else could she say? 'No, actually, sir, I'm so upset over what Lady Ingram said that I fear I might burst into tears any moment?' No, absolutely not.
He asks her what she's been doing these past few days, and why she didn't speak to him at all tonight, and she answers each question as best as she can. All she really wants is to be alone.
She tells him that she is too tired to return to the drawing room, and he moves a few feet more near her, and declares, "And a little depressed, I think. What about? Tell me."
She keeps her eyes to the floor as she denies his assumption. But he won't let it go.
"I tell you that you are. So depressed that you almost-- let me look at you-- are about to cry. Tell me, Jane. Why are you crying?"
He ends his sentence with genuine concern in his tone of voice. She wishes she could tell him, a part of her even wants to, but the shame of knowing exactly why Lady Ingram's words affect her so much keeps her quiet.
A tear leaks out of her eye and she looks up at him, and it's the moment of seeing his patient face that there has never been a time where she so desperately wished she could tell him the truth.
3. Truth
She gazes at Thornfield Hall from a distance, and never has she been so happy to return to a place. She starts to walk towards it, but a minute into her walking, she senses his presence, and she looks to her left to see Mr. Rochester sitting a little ways from her.
She wants to approach him, but she thinks better of it, and turns her head away, continuing her walk to Thornfield Hall.
Within seconds of doing so, he has sighted her.
" There you are! You're back. Ungrateful thing."
He points to her with a small telescope, and a smile creases her lips for she knows what he's going to say.
" I give you leave for a week and you're gone a whole month!"
He gets up and approaches her. " I want my money back, since you've had me so little in your thoughts."
Her smile grows bigger as she replies, "I said I would be gone for as long as I was needed, and I was."
Then she adds teasingly, " And you still owe me wages."
His mouth tweaks in the corners, and she knows he enjoys her teasing as much as she enjoys his.
"Come. Let's get you home." He walks back to his sitting place to retrieve his telescope. "Adele will scream and shout: "Bienevenue!"
There was just something about how he said he wanted to get her home, that she couldn't keep herself from saying what she says next.
" Thank you."
He turns back to her in slight surprise.
"Your kindness, I am-- I am strangely glad to get back again to you. Wherever you are is my home, is my true home."
She looks at him with an honest smile, and there is a brief silence between them.
It's during that silence that she can breathe better than ever before.
4. Time
She'll admit she is nervous. Really, how could she not be? She's at the place Edward is living now, and she hasn't seen his face in a year.
The door to the house opens, as if on cue, and Edward exits from it.
Her breath stills in her chest, and she suddenly can't move, for she knows that all he has to do is look up, and he'll see her, plain as day.
He still hasn't looked up, and she makes herself move, for she can't wait any longer. She wants to see his smile.
With a wide smile, she picks up her suitcases and begins to walk up to him, when a twig snaps underneath one of her feet.
The noise is uncommonly loud, and Edward, startled, looks right in her direction.
She stays where she is, and her grin, if possible, widens even more. Now he will acknowledge her with a smile as big as her own, or perhaps just look at her in shock.
But he doesn't. In fact, he hasn't even given any sign that he knows she's there.
" Who's there?" He demands.
She's confused, for he's looking right at her. And she's not even that far away from him.
It's then that she notices the sleek, black stick-like object grasped in his right hand. Something a blind person would use to get around.
The smile literally melts off her face as Edward, agitated, slowly retreats back into his house.
The realization of his disability hits her hard, and she doesn't know what to think, except for one thing.
Time has really passed by.
5. Appearance
"Am I hideous, Jane?" He asks, as she smoothes down his dark wavy hair with a brush. She knows exactly how to reply.
" Very, sir. But you always were, you know."
His genuine laugh disrupts the quietness of the room around them, and a grin creeps onto her face in return.
It's that moment though, when her eyes rest upon his face, the face that even he himself cannot see anymore, that she knows that she could never mean what she just said.
It's just this joke between them; a joke that he finds very humorous, for a reason she has never really understood.
The truth of it is that, even with the creases in his face from gradual aging, and the burn mark on his left cheek, he's the most handsome man she's ever laid eyes on.