Something Fishy

by Mad-Friend

Jeff Tracy has a hobby, he also has a practical joker for a son. Overhearing a conversation gives Gordon the seeds of an idea, it was a good one, audacious in fact. The practical joker of the family has chosen his father as his next target.

SOMETHING FISHY.

Standard disclaimer; I acknowledge Granada own the copyrights to Thunderbirds. I wish also to say that I have only the greatest respect and admiration for all those who created and worked on this amazing show.

Jefferson Tracy has a hobby; he also has a practical joker for a son.

Overhearing a conversation gave Gordon the seeds of an idea; it was a good one, audacious in fact. The practical joker of the family had chosen his father as his next target. Did he have the nerve to carry it out? The repercussions would be great, but would they be worth it, only one way to find out.

Again, my only intention is to amuse you, which I hope it does.

Please note no animals were hurt in the making of this fic. Quite mad! Complete story.

Jefferson Tracy smiled contently, watching as they glided gracefully around the crystal clear waters of the thirty by twenty foot, twelve thousand gallon, state of the art Koi pond, home to seventeen of the most beautiful Koi on the planet. Renowned for their colours, they were known as living jewels. These were his Nishikigoi. Koi for short. Each one a champion, each one different, and each one hand picked by himself. Many from the Niigata and Osaka regions, famed for the breathtaking quality of the Koi they produced. The Japanese still favoured the red and white Kohakus, where they regularly won supreme champion in the All Japan Shows, held each year in Tokyo. It was there he'd had his first introduction to the art of Koi keeping, and, he'd vowed then that if the opportunity arose, he'd indulge his interest and have his own pond and Koi. And once the needs of the organisation had been established, Jeff made good his vow.

They were indeed the living jewels that their name implied, with their different colours, unique patterns and varieties. Jeff never tired of watching them. He liked all the Koi, but he held a soft spot for a shimmering yellow Yamabuki Ogon, almost three feet in length, who graced his pool. He'd named her Pisces. Bred by the Ogata Koi Company of Kurume City, legendary for their Kohakus since 1972, she was his favourite.

Now they coasted round the net he was using to pick out the odd piece of debris, giving it an occasional suck as if it would yield some tasty morsel they'd overlooked. Finally, when he was sure the water was restored to its usual pristine state, he checked the water nitrate and ph levels, chuckling under his breath as they teased gently at his fingers for food.

'Ph, neutral, 7.3, spot on. Nitrate levels excellent, but then they should be,' he mused, recalling the impressive underground filter system and the equally impressive biological filter system that blended into the landscape, creating a vision of perfection that made one want to linger for as long as possible, soaking up the atmosphere. This was completed by a skilfully created waterfall that not only was a pleasure to look at, but acted as part of the oxygenating venturi system, so vital to the Koi's survival in the warm tropical location.

"Haven't you lot had enough for one day?" he scolded indulgently, while reaching out and stroking each of them in turn, so tame they regularly fed out of his hand, his favourite encouraging the others to come closer. Having completed all his checks, Jeff stored the equipment away and sat down on the hammock, a look of contentment on his face as he leaned back and relaxed for a while, taking in the view, that was breathtaking in its perfection. Kyrano's handiwork and experience, from the time he had worked at Kew Gardens, along with his own ideas, had brought together a garden worthy of compliment. The mixtures of Eastern, Tropical and Western planting didn't seem out of place, with the pond blending easily into the landscape. It nestled by the conservatory at the rear of the house. The coolest part, and couldn't be seen by visitors unless one skirted round the back. It usually took their breath away and never failed to make Jefferson Tracy smile. He was still smiling when Scott and Virgil joined him, just as he was coming indoors.

"How are they dad?"

"Fine son."

"I swear you all but tuck them up into bed at night."

"You'll know he's lost it when he starts reading them bedtime stories," Virgil teased, grinning.

His father chuckled under his breath, not minding in the least the gentle leg pulling his sons were indulging in. The koi were his babies, his pride and joy, after his family and his organisation. And they were his favourite form of relaxation from the demands of running International Rescue. So what if he spoiled them. Though he hadn't realised how closely his actions had been monitored, until Scott and Virgil's teasing informed him of the fact. Their conversation had been overheard and started the seeds of an idea germinating in Gordon's head. It was a good one, but did he have the nerve to carry it out? The repercussions would be great, but would they be worth it? He grinned to himself, only one way to find out?

Gordon lowered himself shiftily into his chair, his eyes never leaving his father's face. But he needn't have worried. The head of the family had his nose buried in his newspaper and hadn't even been aware of the late entrance of his fourth born at the breakfast table. Save for the occasional rustling of the pages as they were turned, and the chinking of the coffee cup, it would be hard to tell his parent was even present. Virgil noticed the beads of sweat on his brother's forehead and those on his upper lip, also his slight breathlessness. His eyes zeroed in on his brother's finger as Gordon tugged on the neckline of his tee-shirt, a mannerism that was always a dead giveaway when he'd been up to something. (Though Gordon was oblivious to this fact) Virgil's eyes narrowed on his brother's expression. He knew that look of old. His brother had been up to something. Virgil's eyes locked onto Gordon's with a silent question, 'What have you been up to there bro'?' and was met with a questioning innocence that fooled him not a jot, having been on the receiving end of his brother's games for more years than he could recall. But this time there was more to it than just the easygoing pranks. 'What gives?' his look said. But Gordon wasn't answering as he leaned over and grabbed for a pancake, lacing it with a generous helping of maple syrup and shoving it into his mouth.

'Not gonna give eh? Then I'll just wait it out, which shouldn't take long, knowing you.' He watched as Gordon's glance kept flicking to the head of the table, a slight nervousness about him, as if he were unsure of himself, or, perhaps, biding his time. 'So that's it! You picked on Dad this time. Have you got a death wish or something?'

The pages rustled again and suddenly the silence was deafening. The air fairly crackled as the tension mounted, until Virgil was almost at breaking point. He held his breath and waited for Gordon to make his move. Something Scott had picked up on too, as he stopped mid-mouthful of the full English breakfast he was enjoying, (a taste he'd acquired while at Oxford) and closely observed Gordon's manner, as the aquanaut shuffled in his seat. The only pair oblivious to the atmosphere were the man at the head of the table, absorbed in his paper, and the youngest member of the family, who was engrossed in devouring his breakfast as if it were going to be snatched away from him at any moment. He was just loading another mouthful in when Gordon finally spoke.

"Dad?"

"Hmm?"

Virgil and Scott both sat forward.

"I er, just happened to be passing the Koi pond……….."

The paper rattled again as it was turned, a pair of blue-grey eyes fixed intently on the print. "Hmm."

"Just wondered if that alligator of Alan's was supposed to be in there……….that's all!"

And suddenly the silence erupted as Jeff Tracy's horrified face looked up, the paper gave a death rattle as it flew in the air in all directions.

"WHAAAT!"

A coughing and choking sound from the other end of the table by the youngest Tracy confirmed he'd heard, and his horror mirrored his father's. Suddenly both sets of chairs made a simultaneous scraping sound as they were thrust back unceremoniously, and both men scrambled to their feet and bolted for the door in unison, colliding in their haste to be the first to reach the pond.

"Uumph."

"Out of my way son!"

"You first!"

Virgil was the first to speak, watching the pair as they struggled through the door and disappeared in the direction of the pond. "I have to hand it to you brother; you sure do like living dangerously."

"Yeah," added the oldest one, "I wouldn't want to be in your shoes when dad finds out this is a joke……….this is a joke right?"

And for a split second both brothers blanched at the thought that it might not be one of Gordon's practical jokes.

"Relax, will ya'."

"RELAX! You stick Alan's alligator in amongst dad's prize Koi and you say relax!"

"He'll be more than relaxed by the time dad's through with him………."

"And then of course there's Alan to contend with. Not a pretty sight when roused."

"You think I'd be THAT daft? The Koi aren't in there."

For the first time both brothers visibly breathed a sigh of relief.

"Soooo, if it's not real, one begs to ask what have you done with dad's babies? He'll go spare when he finds out they're not there." Scott queried.

"What, you mean more so than if they were?" And they both laughed.

"They're safe. I've put them in the quarantine holding tank."

"I'll bet that took some doing." Scott's voice held a sneaking note of admiration.

"Damn right it did, took me hours. I've been up half the night getting those babies moved and making sure they didn't splash about and wake up half the household, or get stressed and die on me." Flicking a look at his watch, Gordon added, "much as I would love to hang around and get a glimpse of Dad's face when he comes storming back in here, I'm gonna pass. He should be finding out just about now, and I value my skin. Scott; give him this will ya'?"

"What's this, your last will and testament by any chance?" Scott replied, eyeing the white envelope with mild curiosity.

"Ha, ha! It explains where the Koi are that's all. Oh, and Scott?"

"Hmm?"

"Ask him to go easy on me the next time we meet."

"Would that be your last request?"

"Yeah, and shall I ask him to speak over your funeral?" Virgil quipped.

"Very funny guys. Just ask him to see the funny side and take it easy, will ya'?"

"Sure, I'll ask. By my calculations he should be heading back this way any minute………"

"Probably with steam coming out of his ears…………….."

"Definitely with steam coming out of his ears. So that exit you were going to make, I'd think about executing it right now if I were you," Scott advised. "Oh, and Gordon?"

"Yeah?"

"If you don't want him to locate you with the sonar tracer, I'd get rid of the watch".

Gordon glanced down with dawning comprehension at the piece of technical kit. "Thanks Scott. Here!" and without waiting to see if his brother had caught it, Gordon headed for the service elevator for TB2 hanger.

"Of course, there's always the bio life support sensor. Pity you didn't tell him about that, too," Virgil remarked dryly, watching as his brother disappeared through the door.

"Uh huh." Scott nodded, resuming his breakfast and taking a long swallow of his coffee.

Pity Gordon hadn't thought of that himself.

"What have I told you about that alligator? I knew something like this would happen one day," Jeff Tracy rebuked, his adrenalin levels racing.

Knowing the purpose built wildlife enclosure he and his brothers had constructed several metres from the house, had escape proof security fences, Alan responded with, "Don't blame me; I didn't let her get out! And her name's Eglantine."

"I can think of a better name for her! If she's hurt any of my Koi ………………."

'Hurt the Koi! It's more like the other way round, the size of those things. They've probably eaten her.' And the thought forged Alan even faster toward the state of the art pond which housed his father's prize Koi.

"Where are they?" Jeff demanded, skidding to a halt, his son almost cannoning him into the water, as he slid to a halt behind him. "Mind where you're going!"

"Sorry Dad."

Both stared at the solitary occupant of the pond.

"GET THAT THING OUT OF THERE!"

"Take it easy, Dad; you'll hurt her feelings."

"Where the deuce are my Koi?"

Alan peered at his birthday present from Tin-Tin, relieved she still appeared slim. 'No signs of a full stomach then.'

"WILL YOU GET THAT, THAT…….."

"Eglantine?"

"Thing out of there before I turn it into a handbag!"

"For yourself?"

"Don't be impertinent! I'm not in the mood," Jeff retorted, eyeing the two foot pygmy alligator, swimming blithely around, oblivious to the furore her presence was causing. "I want to know where my Koi are, and FAST!"

As they both stood there peering into the water, as if it would suddenly yield the whereabouts of the missing contents, a light bulb came on simultaneously, and they both looked at one another.

"GORDON!" The deep timbre and lighter tones echoed in unison.

The youngest Tracy watched his parent shoot off in the direction the practical joker of the family had last been seen.

"Hope you made good your escape bro; he's good and mad this time," he mouthed, before turning his attention to the business of extricating the reluctant alligator, who appeared very much at home in her new residence, and wasn't giving up without a fight. 'And then you'd better watch out for me'.

Scott Tracy had just finished the last slice of bacon on his plate and was washing it down with the remains of his coffee when his very irate parent came shooting into the dining room, sporting a look that said, 'don't mess with me,' on his face. He scanned the room, already resigned to the fact his fourth born wouldn't have been daft enough to still be hanging around there, but irritated all the same. Jeff sighed, muttering something under his breath that would have made his mother frown, if she'd been present. But fortunately she and Tin-Tin were oblivious to the furore going on.

"Take it easy Dad, before you bust a gut."

"If I were you, I'd choose your next words very carefully. I'm not in the best of moods."

Scott raised an eyebrow, "Gee, I'd never have guessed."

"I don't suppose you've seen that son of mine?"

"Sure, Dad. He bolted with you for the pond."

Jeff favoured Virgil with a loaded look that withered him on the spot. "Covering up for him eh? Just what I'd have expected."

Scott reached into his back pocket and handed his parent the note. Jeff wasted no time in tearing it open and scanning the contents. "Humph!"

Both brothers watched the various expressions of their parent with interest, a slight tension about them, as they saw his face change from exasperation and worry, to irritation and anger, then finally relief. But they didn't like the gleam that came into his eye; it didn't bode well for their brother. They'd been on the receiving end of his pranks more times than they could recall and had been as exasperated as their parent now was, but they still cared enough to close ranks when it appeared one of them was in trouble. And Gordon was in trouble now.

"Look Dad; no real harm's been done, and you must admit as far as practical jokes go, this is one of his best."

"Oh, I'll give him his due; he certainly knows how to dream them up. Well let's see how he likes a taste of his own medicine."

Both brothers looked keenly at their parent. They could see the germ of an idea formulating in him, but apart from that one sentence, they could get nothing out of him. At that moment their grandmother entered the dining room. "Is everything alright Jeff? I've just seen Alan and he tells me you're real ticked off about something."

Jefferson Tracy smiled at his mother reassuringly. "Everything's fine now. Oh and mother, we'll be having fish for dinner."

She nodded and asked, "Have we got any in?"

"We will have."

And with that, Jeff Tracy left his sons and parent to speculate, as he headed for the underground quarantine tanks to perform his own mini rescue.

Gordon looked around the huge cavernous bay that housed Thunderbird 2 and wondered about the wisdom of his latest prank, and sweated. The size and beauty of the awesome transport carrier never failed to impress him in the past, no matter how many times he saw her, but today his mind was on other things.

'Maybe I shouldn't have done that. I could always come clean and just let Dad murder me now.' The aquanaut shook his head, wondering how long he'd been down there and what his parent was doing now. The thing about practical jokes was the fun of seeing the person's face when you got one over on them, and he hadn't been able to see his parent's. But then he realised, that on this occasion, it was no bad thing. In fact come to think of it, it was a blessing, the best thing that could have happened under the circumstances. But how long would he have to stay down here? He was getting hungry. He thought about the emergency rations in TB2 but to get at them would trigger the security alarms and his parent would be sure to find him then, and Gordon wasn't quite ready for that.

Jefferson Tracy was nobody's fool. He knew exactly where his son was, had known since the moment he'd checked the bio life support sensors and located his son's heartbeat in the hanger of TB2. He was calm now, his anxiety over and his adrenalin levels back to normal now that his Koi where back where they belonged, and he even permitted himself a grin as he thought of his son's audacity. It took some gall to choose his parent for one of his schemes, and Jeff had to hand it to him, it was some scheme. But then Jeff wasn't without a wicked side himself, and loved a laugh as much as the next man, as his son was about to find out.

"Alan? I want a word with you. Come in here now, please."

"Sure Dad. What is it?"

"That alligator of yours back where it belongs?"

"Yes she is Dad. Why?" came the defensive reply.

Jeff ignored that. "How would you like to get your own back on your brother?"

The youngest member of the family raised an eyebrow. It wasn't like their father to encourage them to lock horns with each other, quite the opposite in fact. "Why?" he asked cautiously.

"Don't worry, I'm not about to ask you to go down there and shoot him." Jeff replied dryly. "I have an idea, that's all, and I thought you might like to assist me. Hear me out before you decide."

By the time his father had outlined his idea, Alan Tracy's face had creased into a grin, and he readily agreed.

Gordon sighed, digging his hands deeper into his pockets and kicking at some loose gravel that the large Thunderbird had trammelled in on its huge wheels, wondering what time it was and whether to risk coming out of hiding yet. His stomach was making some interesting sounds, and he felt if he didn't appease it soon, the noise it was making would give his hiding place away.He froze and turned as the doors the service elevator slid open. He moved back into the shadows as his younger brother came into view, carrying a tray.

"You down here, bro?"

"Alan?"

"I brought you some food, thought you might be hungry by now. Relax!" Alan coaxed, seeing the wariness his presence had caused.

"How'd you find me? And Dad, does he know I'm here?"

"Why would he?"

"You did."

"Only 'because I used the bio sensor. Look, are you hungry or not?"

"Starvin'. You're not mad at me then?"

"Naw, it was a brilliant joke."

And they both grinned at one another, until Gordon took the lid of the tray and saw the grilled fish.

"What's this?"

"Fish."

Gordon threw him a look that said 'I know that. Now quit messing and tell me the truth'. "We don't usually have fish on a Wednesday."

Alan shrugged, "Dad went fishing yesterday and put his catch in the quarantine holding tanks so we'd have fresh fish for a change instead of that frozen stuff Grandma brings back from her shopping trips." He had to work very hard not to let the grin that was threatening to break to the surface out, as he watched the varying expressions cross his brother's face as Gordon worked out the implications. "Kyrano does a mean grilled fish, don't you think? I'd tuck in while it's still hot, if I were you."

"Kyrano? He couldn't…………..he………the holding tanks?…………But……….but that's where…………And the look of horror that was born on Gordon's face was worth the terror Alan had felt earlier that day, before he'd discovered his alligator hadn't eaten any of their father's Koi.

"He couldn't have!" Gordon challenged. "He's not that stupid; he'd know the difference."

"Difference?"

"I put Dad's Koi in the holding tanks. Surely you knew that?"

Alan shook his head.

"But Dad must have known I gave Scott a message………He did give it to him…….didn't he?"

"I never saw any message. Now are you going to eat this or do I get two dinners."

"Two?"

"Yeah, we all ate an hour ago; best fish I've had in a long time."

And the strangled gasp that threatened to choke Gordon almost had Alan confessing right then. Almost.

"Oh, by the way, Kyrano said he almost broke his neck down there. The lights were out, fused or something. But he said he didn't need the lights to see what he was doing. He could fillet a fish blindfold. Had to too, by all accounts."

"Didn't Dad find his fish?" came the hoarse plea.

"Sure, well almost all. There were about four unaccounted for, but what the heck, I'm sure they'll turn up," Alan said, shrugging. "I'll leave this; don't want too be gone to long, in case Dad starts wondering where I've gone. You wouldn't want me to lead him to you?" and with that he turned and made a hasty dash for the door, knowing that any minute now the laughter that had been barely suppressed as he'd watched Gordon's face, was about to erupt.

Gordon eyed the fish and felt the nausea welling up inside him. 'It can't be them………it just can't be……….can it?' He hadn't noticed any other fish in the holding tank, but then he'd been too busy concentrating on getting the Koi in……. and it was dark. 'What if Alan was telling the truth and the lights HAD fused, and Kyrano couldn't see what he was filleting? Was that before or after Dad had found his Koi? If it was after, then the fish they'd eaten couldn't have been Dad's, because he'd have already moved them back to the pond, leaving only the ones he'd had caught. If it was before………? Scott HAD to have passed on the message. How else would Dad have found the fish? Everything hung on Dad finding the Koi before Kyrano did. He'd had all day, since breakfast, to find and put them back. And what about the three or four were unaccounted for? THREE OR FOUR UNACCOUNTED FOR! Then that would mean…………' Gordon eyed the fish again shaking his head in disbelief and slammed the lid down. His appetite turned to ashes. 'Didn't they realise there was a very real possibility they'd eaten Dad's Koi? And it had tasted good, Alan had said. He'd also said he was sure the missing fish would turn up.' But if his conclusions were right, they wouldn't beGordon blanched. His head was reeling trying to work it out, and he knew he wouldn't rest until he'd seen for himself.

"What kept you son? I thought you'd have been quicker than that."

Gordon came to a halt by the holding tank and cringed. The last thing he'd been expecting was his father's presence, yet he shouldn't have been surprised. There was very little his father couldn't figure out.

"How'd you find me?"

"I've known for some time where you were. Don't forget who thought up and designed the island's security measures in the first place. Now that we have the formalities out of the way, what brings you here?"

Now was the time to come clean, no matter what the consequences. Gordon mentally vowed he'd replace every one of those fish they'd eaten by mistake. Taking a deep breath he said, "Dad ……….?"

"Hmmm?"

"I er, have to tell you something……….."

"That you put my Koi in the holding tank. Yes I know that already."

"It's not about that, well it is, but what I mean is, there's more to it than that."

"You don't think that's enough?"

"Well yes, sure. But the thing is, you see, the thing is, it……er….backfired……."

"I'll say; on you."

"Er, no Dad, on you. We ate your Koi by mistake."

"We?"

"I mean you did, you all did. Kyrano served up the wrong fish."

"That was careless of him," Jeff replied mildly.

"You don't seem much cut up about this," Gordon said, his suspicions beginning to be aroused.

"Believe me, son, if that had happened I'd have been more than cut up." And taking pity on his son's baffled state Jeff decided to put him out of his misery. "The Koi are fine and back in their pond……."

"I don't get it? From what A……….I was told, I gather some of the Koi ended up on the dinner plate by mistake."

"Like I said son, your joke did backfire, but on you. All the Koi are safe and well, all seventeen of them."

"I still don't get it?"

"Want me to help you out? There were no other fish in the tank. Kyrano didn't serve up any of my Koi by mistake. The fish on your plate came from the fish Kyrano caught today, at my request. You have been set up, by me, and had the wind taken out of your sails as payment for nearly giving me a heart attack this morning. I planned this to teach you a lesson. Good, eh?" and as comprehension dawned on his son's face, Jeff finished with, "Before you ever think of setting your old man up again, you'll have to get up earlier in the day. I've been around too, you know and I'm more than capable of thinking up a practical joke or two myself. I can give as good as I get, when the need arises. Where do you think you got that side of your nature from? I could tell you a few tales……but I wouldn't want you getting any more ideas than you already have. And, while I doubt this'll cure you for long, do me a favour?"

"Sure Dad, anything." Gordon willingly complied.

"Don't touch my Koi again. Now how about some supper?"

"Sure Dad; as long as it's not fish." And they both laughed.