A/N: Okay, I know...this isn't "All We Are". I just had this idea and simply had to write it down! I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know what you think! Also, next chapter of AWA is almost done and will be up later tonight or tomorrow
Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or the AMAZING play Picnic by the brilliant William Inge. Go check it out! Oh, I ALSO don't own Oasis' "Wonderwall", but it IS my all time favorite song.
"I…I'm so ashamed," cried Clare Edwards (in character as Madge Owens) on the stage at Degrassi Community School. It was opening night of Picnic, the Pulitzer Prize winning play by William Inge.
Fall semester of Clare's junior year, she finally gathered the courage to try her hand at acting. Drama club had always been her favorite extra-curricular activity, but behind-the-scenes action no longer satisfied her. Once far too shy to give her secret dream a shot, Clare settled for becoming the best prop master she could be. One night over the summer, however, Clare confided in Eli that she always wondered what it would be like to be on stage. Eli encouraged her to go for it, and through her relationship with him, friendship with Adam, and sophomore year of drama (knives, her parents divorcing, and a reshaping of religious beliefs), Clare came out of her shell enough to audition for the school play. Much to her shock (but not Eli's), she earned the lead in the love story.
"Don't say that, Baby…" Drew Torres played Madge's love interest, Hal Carter. Alli wasn't too happy about this fact, but Clare argued that if Eli could get over his girlfriend having to kiss someone else for the sake of art, then Alli could certainly live with her best friend kissing her ex.
The story of Picnic is both simple and aesthetically beautiful, as most great pieces of Drama are: on Labor Day in 1953, the young, attractive vagabond Hal Carter shows up in small-town Kansas looking for his old friend Alan Seymour. Alan is rich and Hal hopes to get a job through him, but that is all shot to hell when Hal (quite literally) sweeps Alan's girlfriend, Madge Owens, off her feet. The two make love and run away to Tulsa together, abandoning Alan, Madge's small family, and the lives they thought they knew behind.
Clare identified with her character more than most might think; she never fathomed she might go from a good girl living a simple, good life to the girlfriend of a perceived "bad boy" who possessed a great heart. Eli made Clare feel things she had only read about in vampire novels.
Clare recently returned her purity ring to her mother, claiming it just wasn't something she believed in anymore. Helen Edwards surprisingly understood where her daughter was coming from and took her to the doctor for birth control.
"I don't want to know when it happens, I don't want to know how, and I certainly don't want it to happen in my house, Clare," Helen Edwards informed her youngest daughter. Though her words came out slightly harsh, a small smile donned Helen's face as she spoke them. "Um, Mom…" muttered Clare, a blush creeping upon her face, "there is more than one way for it to, uh…happen?" Helen just laughed.
Following the curtain call (during which Clare earned a standing ovation and more than a few whistles from Eli and Adam), Eli sauntered up to his girlfriend with a big bouquet of red roses in his hand. "For you, my little star," he slurred in a dramatic fashion before placing a quick kiss on her lips.
"Ew!" Adam exclaimed. "Dude, she JUST made out with my brother on stage. By transition of property you just kissed Drew!" Adam's grin proved he found this tidbit quite hilarious. He did not find it funny, however, when Eli frogged him.
"Damn, Eli!" groaned Adam before smiling at his other best friend. "You did a great job, Clare." Following a quick hug, Adam walked away to congratulate Drew.
"Thank you for the flowers, Eli," breathed Clare as she threw her arms around them (and him).
"Well, I figured it wouldn't be wise of me to mess with tradition." Eli chuckled. "And we all know how wise I am."
"And how smug!" exclaimed Clare.
"You love it," smirked Eli. "Girlfriend, you did a seriously great job up there. I knew you had it in you."
"I know you did." Clare stared at Eli with gratification and pride swimming through her eyes. "Thank you, Boyfriend."
"Although I'll be glad when this business of you having to kiss Drew is over," Eli admitted while making a face.
"Don't tell him I said this, because it might hurt his ego…but me too!" whispered Clare.
"Oh, I'm TOTALLY telling him. His ego NEEDS to come down a few notches," Eli joked.
"Please don't, Eli!" Clare looked horrified.
"Okay, okay, I won't, Edwards." He laughed and took her hand. "Am I escorting you to the cast party?"
"Yes, please." Clare suddenly looked down and became very quiet, unable to voice what was on her mind.
Eli noticed. "Spit it out, Edwards."
"Um, I sort of told my mom that I was staying the night with some girls from the cast." Eli raised an eyebrow. "I'm not." Her cheeks brighten before she squeaks out her question. "I was hoping…maybe I could spend the night with you?"
"Well, well, well, Clare," Eli teased. "I like your sneaky plans."
"Yes, well, I know your mother will be in bed by the time we get there. You can sneak me up the fire escape." Clare grinned mischievously.
Eli rolled his eyes. "We can probably go through to front door, Clare. My mother doesn't care if you stay the night. You have before."
"Yes, but Eli…" she cast her eyes downward. "Tonight's the night."
Eli paled.
"What?" He didn't dare to look hopeful. They had talked about sex, of course, and he agreed to wait until she felt ready. It wasn't often someone found a soul mate, and corny as it sounds, Eli truly believed Clare was his. "Like, THE night?" He couldn't help but grin.
"Yes, Eli." The shade of Clare's face matched the flowers grasped in her hands.
"Seriously?"
"Yes."
"You're not messing with me?"
"No."
"Are we talking about the same thing?"
"YES, Eli."
"Adam didn't put you up to this?"
"NO!"
Eli's face turned dead serious. "Because that would be a really mean joke."
"I know!" Clare laughed. "Now let's go to the party!"
Later
"Eli, I really think you should have just snuck me up the fire escape!" hissed Clare once they were in the safety of Eli's room.
"Clare," said Eli very slowly, "Mom doesn't care if you spend the night. She loves you. She trusts us."
"Well, she shouldn't!" Eli laughed at Clare's comment.
"Clare, I don't like to admit it because it makes me sound like I'm whipped, but we're in love and you make me feel all sorts of mushy nonsense." Eli gazed at her with confidence and reassurance. "Provided that we're safe, my mother doesn't particularly care what we do."
"Okay…" Clare didn't look convinced. To ease the slight tension in the room Eli pulled Clare into an embrace.
"You were so amazing tonight," Eli spoke softly.
"So you've told me." Clare hugged him tightly.
"Well, it's true." Eli pulled back and tucked a piece of hair behind Clare's ear before kissing her.
The kiss started out slow, chaste. Surprisingly, Clare was the one to deepen it. She ran her fingers through Eli's hair, tugging gently at the roots. He sat them down on his bed, never breaking the contact between their lips. Clare reluctantly pulled back and told Eli she had to use the restroom and she'd be right back.
When Clare returned, both she and Eli gasped. Eli's response was brought on by Clare wearing nothing but the slip she wore in the scene of the play in which the men gaze longingly at Madge through a window. Clare looked so naïve and sexy at the same time, it nearly made Eli lose it right then and there.
Eli's room is what induced Clare's reaction: he had lit the candles he had around his room and turned on his lava lamps. The soft light created a certain ambience Clare always imagined she'd have on her wedding night. She laughed softly at the candles; they were black, red, and half burnt. Eli looked rather sheepish as he simply shrugged his shoulders. "I thought you might like something special," Eli said as he turned on his stereo. "I made this mix when we talked about…" he gulped and motioned between them "…this."
The couple both thought about the conversation that paved the path leading to this moment. It occurred on a sticky summer night: Canada Day. They made out on Morty's hood under a smoky sky lit up by fireworks.
He kissed her with reluctant restraint; Eli respected Clare's beliefs, so he never let himself get too carried away during their intimate moments. "Eli…" breathed Clare. "Why won't you kiss me the way I want you to?" She blushed at both the boldness of her question and the look of shock on her boyfriend's face.
"Clare, I…I just don't want to push you." He swallowed. "I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you in any way. " Clare smiled up at him, enjoying the way his hair fell over his sparkling green eyes.
"Eli, you're not…I've been meaning to tell you something." She held her bare left hand up.
Rather alarmed, Eli blurted: "What the fuck?" and Clare frowned. "I mean…why aren't you wearing your purity ring?"
"I thought it was rather obvious." Clare cocked an eyebrow.
"Ok, but…why?" Eli was genuinely confused. Clare laughed.
"Because I love you. I no longer want to deprive myself of something that's perfectly natural to desire; the idea of waiting until marriage is rather archaic, anyway." Eli couldn't help but grin.
"But…not here, right?" He asked rather ludicrously.
"No, Eli," chuckled Clare. "I really don't want to lose my virginity in the back of and/or on top of a hearse."
"Good, because I want our first time to be more special than this." Eli kissed her softly.
"Why? It's not like it's your first time." Clare's voice wobbled uneasily. While she understood that she was not the only girl who'd ever been in Eli's life, it made her slightly sad and envious that his first time was with Julia and not her.
"Clare, that doesn't matter. It's YOUR first time," he paused. "It's OUR first time. I've never felt for ANYONE the way I feel about you. You've helped save me from myself, and I truly adore you." He held her close.
"So, it will be special?" Clare dared to look hopeful.
"I promise."
As the couple drifted back from a mutual flashback, Clare spoke: "Eli, this is just...perfect." She walked over to him and caressed his cheek. "And this is my favorite song!"
"I know," smirked Eli as he pulled her into his arms, kissing her tenderly. Pulling away, leaning his forehead against hers, he inquired in a deep voice: "Did you know you look fucking BRILLIANT in this slip?" He ran his fingers along its silky material and his smirk morphed into a full grin when Clare's blush intensified.
"I didn't," the slip-clad girl whispered back.
"I think you did," scoffed Eli. "I think you wanted to torture me…" he kissed her neck, eliciting a gasp from deep within her throat. He grazed his lips on the other side. "I believe you know just how crazy you're driving me." Her forehead. "I am sure you know just how," her nose, "beautiful you are." He ended the journey of his lips by placing them on hers, urging her mouth open and lightly biting down. The moan she involuntarily let out made Eli shiver, and he pulled away.
Taking her hand, he led her to his bed, where they resumed their heated kisses. These types of moments were nothing new for the couple, but the intensity of the situation and the act it was finally leading to caused the both of them to tremble. Clare relaxed a little at Eli's shaky touch; knowing nerves plagued the both of them, not just her, eased her mind. Separating their lips, Eli timidly slid the strap of Clare's slip down and placed a kiss where it had been before proceeding to suck at the vein on her neck ever so gently. Clare slid off Eli's denim vest and made her way to tug at the bottom of his "Degrassi Drama" t-shirt. They continued in suit, undressing one another piece by piece.
Clare soon laid beneath Eli in nothing but white cotton lace panties (which she may or may not have bought just for this occasion). With a shaky hand, she tugged on Eli's black boxers. His hands cased her movements and he peered into her eyes. "Are you absolutely positive you want to do this?"
"Yes." Clare pulled Eli's head down to kiss him with her reassuring lips. He pulled away to run his mouth down her torso, all the way to her hipbones, which he softly nibbled on, knowing the action would drive her crazy. The cause of her trembling quickly changed when with one gentle finger, Eli eased her underwear down her legs and then shook off his own. Taking a moment to gaze at his naked girlfriend basking in the glow of candlelight (and lava lamps), Eli tried to fathom just how lucky he was. Under his scrutiny, Clare self-consciously covered her breasts with her arms. "What?"
Eli removed her arms in order to kiss what they hid. "You're just so damn gorgeous, Clare." He looked up from her chest and pinned her arms to the bed before fixing her with a serious look. "Don't you dare hide yourself from me." Clare's pupils dilated as they took in his, which were black as coal.
Eli reached into his nightstand for a condom and put it on with ease, smirking at Clare's widened eyes.
Eli kissed her gently before positioning himself over her body. "Clare…I'm not going to pretend that this will be the most amazing experience of your life." He shuddered. "I'm fucking terrified of hurting you, so if you feel any pain, please just let me know and I'll stop." Clare nodded and swallowed the last of her nerves.
With one last questioning look from Eli to confirm that Clare was sure (for she had to be sure), she smirked up at him with a final nod, arched her back a little, and…ta-da!
Letting out a soft cry the moment Eli fully filled her, Clare dug her fingers into his tense shoulders. She knew it would hurt, but all she could think at the moment wasdamn.
"Are you okay?" breathed Eli, slightly alarmed and trying not to move his hips because it felt amazing to be inside her.
"I'm…I'm fine. It's okay…" Clare gazed at Eli with nothing but sheer adoration as he pulled out slowly and made his way back in. Both of them panted heavily, feeling a bit awkward yet terribly sweet all at once. He kissed the tears that fell from her eyes (out of both amazement and slight pain) and whispered the words "I love you" over and over again. Clare concentrated on the look of pure adoration in Eli's eyes as her favorite song wafted over the pair's wonderful yet slightly clumsy dance.
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now.
And all the walls we have to walk are winding-
And all the lights that light the way are blinding.
There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how.
Because maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me…
'Cause after all…you're my wonderwall.
Eli's gentle strokes became slightly more frenzied as his release neared. The pain in Clare's core faded, and she felt a pleasure of her own beginning to form when waves of physical joy pulsed through Eli's entire body.
The two had already been one in both mind and soul; becoming one physical entity during their lovemaking made Clare feel complete in a way she didn't quite know was possible. He rolled off of her and pulled her close to wipe the sweat off her brow. Kissing her forehead, he asked how she felt.
"Complete." She snuggled more deeply into his arms.
"Are you sore?" He didn't want her to be in pain.
"Just a little. It's okay." She snuggled into the crook of his shoulder.
Eli's muscles tensed. "Do you…do you regret it?"
Clare laughed. "It's kind of hard to tell, Eli. It just happened!" Eli's face fell.
"Do you think you will?" Alarm coursed through his veins.
"No, Eli." Clare's voice sweetly reassured. "Not at all." She kissed his chest.
"You know what, Clare?" Eli's smirk found its way back to his face.
"No, but I'm sure you'll tell me," Clare teased.
"It's kind of funny…your character in the play lost her virginity to her second boyfriend. So did you." Eli grinned. "And on opening night."
"Ha-ha, I know." She cocked an eyebrow, a smirk all her own in place. "Come on, don't you know I had this planned? I wanted my life to imitate my art." She smacked their lips together and laughed.
"I see how it is! You seduced me!" Eli's face twisted into mock shock before pouting. "I feel used."
"You've got me!" Clare's laughing died out and she paused for a moment, allowing the music from Eli's mix to fill their ears. "Do you think Madge and Hal made it?"
"What? To Tulsa?" Eli smiled, because he knew what Clare was really asking. She punched him lightly.
"No…do you think they lasted?" She couldn't meet his eyes.
"You mean, do you think the ambiguous ending of the play led to a happily-ever-after?" He stroked her face as she nodded.
"I don't know Clare, but if happy endings in any form exist, I'm sure you're mine." Clare smiled brightly at Eli's sweetness.
"I love you, Eli."
"I love you too." He tilted her head up in order to place a kiss upon her lips. "So much."
"Thank you for tonight." Clare averted her eyes. "I promise next time I won't just lie there." Eli grinned broadly.
"Next time?"
He earned another punch.
The end!
Hope you liked it. Please, PLEASE let me know what you think.
Oh, fun fact. This is based almost entirely off of my first time. I know, TMI, but it was just…perfect.