Before you start reading please know that I am not a native english speaker and if there are any grammar or other mistakes I apologize.
Disclaimer: The Outlander series and all characters belongs to Diana Gabaldon
The warmth of Jamies body, pressed against my back, his hand on mine, reaching to the stones of Craigh na Dun. I knew he was crying. He tries to be strong even though I know that this separation will break his heart as much as it breaks mine. He will leave to die and I will love our child. I can hear him whisper in gaelic, words I don't understand, he sighs "Tha gaol agam ort Claire." and then I fall.
The feeling of falling is not as surprising as it was the first time. I knew what would wait for me, yet I didn't want it to happen. Screams. It feels like something was pulling me into the depth of water, everything went numb. I felt like I was drowning.
My back hit the cool grass. With a flutter I open my eyelids just to look up at a typical Scottish sky and I knew I was back in my time. But was it still my time? No. I made the decision in less than a second. My time was where ever Jamie was. And our child. Our child was all I had left of him. He is meant to die on the moor of Culloden. That stubborn Scottish fool.
It started to rain. Of course. What a irony. The drops are falling on my face, streaming down my cheeks mixed with a few tears I tried so hard to hide. Not crying was hard, especially with the thought of Jamie and all the men who will die - no, who already died at Culloden - I corrected myself. Oh my Jamie.
After a few more minutes to sort my thoughts and think about what to do next, I get up, cleaned my skirt of the dirt and covered my head with the hood of the warm woollen cape. It still smelled like Jamie. Another tear run down my cheek which I swift away
"Get yourself together Beauchamp" I scolded myself and start my way to Inverness. I need to speak to Mrs. Graham and hope that Frank is in Oxford where he should be. The road was still here. Maybe a car would see me and stop, I wondered.
But at the same time I wasn't sure if I want someone to find me.
In that rain it took me nearly two hours to reach Inverness, the rain calmed down and if I would feel anything at all I wouldfeel the cold seeping through my wet clothes making them heavier than they truly are. I was looking for a way to talk to
Mrs. Graham without the Reverend noticing I was back. He would call Frank immediately and to fulfil my plan I don't want him to know I was back. I have set my mind. This child would either grow up with his own father or with a single mother in the Highlands. I was a nurse and it would be easy to find work after the war, at least I hoped so.
Inverness was exactly like I remembered it and yet so different. The store were I saw the vase, the Inn Frank and I stayed at. The small shops in the streets around the marketplace. The Inverness of 1746 was still here. Somehow. And yet I could only see the modern things like the cars and the electricity. I saw a few people, nobody seemed to notice me. As I reached Reverend Wakefield's house I send a quick prayer up and knock on the door.
Footsteps, small fast ones, and then the door opened and in front of me was the small Roger Wakefield. He grew a lot in my absence.
"Hello Ma'am" he says shyly "The Reverend is not here." he added, perhaps he thought I wanted to speak to him. Of course he thinks that. It's his own house.
"Does Mrs. Graham still works for the Reverend?" his eyes went down my clothes. Not typical for the 20th century but all that was needed 200 years ago.
"Yes. She is in the kitchen." Roger doesn't seem to care and steps aside to let me in.
"Down the hallway to your right." he said and left me alone. The house was warm. I could smell the history laying in the books. All the old pages. The whiskey from the library and a fire from the fireplace. My skirt was dripping wet and left a tiny river on the wooden floor.
"Oh dear Roger would you plea.." Mrs. Graham started her sentence and ended mid word to look at me. "Oh dear Lord. Jesus Christ. Is that you Mrs. Randall?" a smile formed on my lips. The first one since I left.
"Actually not anymore. Please let me explain. I came to speak to you and I don't want the Reverend to know I am here. It is urgent Mrs. Graham." she takes my hand between hers, the warmth crawling up my arm.
"You must be freezing. Come sit down. I'll make you a nice cup of tea, aye?" it wasn't long before she gave me a towel to dry myself up a bit and put a cup in front of me.
"What's so urgent? Does Mr. Randall know you are here?" and in silence the question about what had happened to me.
I take a sip if the hot liquid. Lay a hand on my growing belly and look into Mrs. Grahams calm eyes. I could trust her. She would help me.
"It is a long story and a painful one to tell." She reaches out to me, grabs my hand "It is okay, take your time. The Reverend won't be home for a while."