A/N: Be kind. I did it in a half hour.: ) Apparently I can't use a certain name so I took a creative approach : ) I mean I could have been talking about Chef Ramsay *g*Oh and I don't have a beta so errors are my own : )
Disclaimer: don't own 'em.
~o~
Dave Rossi staggered into the conference room and plopped down in the nearest seat available before facing the head of the table.
"Nice to see you actually made it Dave," Erin Strauss quipped from the seat across from him.
"Good morning to you too Erin," he shot back with a smug expression.
"Alright, enough of the niceties here, you two." The balding, plump man sitting at the head of the table heaved a sigh before continuing. "As you may be aware, I brought you here to discuss the up and coming season. We kick off in a few days and I want to make sure you're all aware of the changes in store," He leaned back in his chair with a menacing smirk and adjusted his diamond encrusted cuff-links.
"I'm sorry, changes?"Hotch inquired from his seat between Emily and J.J. "What exactly do you mean by 'changes'?" He continued as he casually refilled J.J's coffee mug for the sixth time that morning.
"No one mentioned anything about changes before," Morgan's voice floated throughout the room from his seat beside Erin and Garcia.
Mr. Asole studiously ignored the questions and passed the scripts around the table before leaning back in his chair and clasping his fingers over his extended belly.
"Oh come on, what the hell is this?" Erin Strauss' voice boomed from her seat. "You can't seriously have me kicking a puppy in the premiere! Why do I always have to come across as a...as a.."
"Bitch?" Rossi offered from his seat, not looking up from the script before him.
"Y-yes, exactly. Thank you for that." She nodded in Rossi's direction in a sign of thanks and he responded with a nonchalant flick of his hand. "A bitch. Why must I constantly come across as a bitch? I thought I was making some improvements?"
Asole rolled his eyes and sighed before responding. "Look Emma-"
"Erin!" She corrected, her chin raised in a dignified manner.
"Whatever.." he continued. "People like to have an antagonist, someone to hate, someone to truly loathe in things like this. You just happen to be that person, so toughen up tootsie!"
Erin's eyes blinked rapidly as she held her hand to her throat in dismay. "It's a show about serial killers. They're the ones to despise...they're the antagonists! I just don't understand why it has to be me! I'm actually a very lovely person!"
"She really is." Rossi agreed, smiling a tad when as he watched Erin's face flush at the compliment.
"Fine, whatever, she won't kick the dog, but she's still our resident bitch." Asole glanced at his platinum Rolex before continuing. "Alright, so on with the discussion of the changes.."
"Umm, excuse me but where's my script?" JJ asked as she sipped on her coffee.
"You can share min...Why is my script so short?" Emily sifted through her script rapidly before meeting Asole's eyes.
"Ahh, I'm glad you two brought that up. So our big changes here...JJ, you're out. Emily, you're getting cut back. Now-"
"Wait what?" Morgan's voice boomed from his seat, his dark brow furrowed.
"What are you talking about? I don't approve of this." Hotch's voice was acidic as his dark brooding eyes penetrated those of the man before him.
"Look, it is what it is folks. Prentiss, quite frankly you spazzed out a great deal last season and perhaps a little break will do you some good, at least until we find a way to explain you're inexplicable change in character." Emily opened her mouth to speak but Asole continued. "JJ, you had a nice run, but let's face it, you're a liaison, as in you aren't meant to stick around for long. I don't know what more we can do for you."
"Creative? You're giving me the creative excuse? you don't know what more you can do for me? You haven't done anything for me! There's still stuff to do!" She rose from her seat and leaned across the table, blue eyes darkening with fury. She tugged away from the reassuring pat that Hotch attempted to give her.
"Yeah, creative, sure! That's a load, more like financial!" Emily hissed sarcastically.
"If finances are the issue than maybe King Midas over there can cut back on his own expenses!" Morgan growled through his teeth, his annoyance rising as Asole played with his I-phone.
"No, It's creative for JJ, financial for you Prentiss" Asole smirked at her as he picked lint off his Armani suit.
"I was just starting to develop!I was just getting some background! I had a lot going for me!"
"Look gorgeous, you got a bit of storyline. We gave you what we could, but at this point we've run out of things other than you being eye candy ya' know? I mean, and even that has run it's course, your clothes can't get any tighter and we've upped the ante on the makeup, but we just can't get the creative juices going for you. But we can give you a farewell. We'll think of something good, maybe you run off to get married to that Southern fella and raise that little kid of yours, or maybe you get transferred, you didn't think you'd be at the B.A.U forever did ya?" He winked at her ignoring the growling coming from Morgan and the hissing coming from Prentiss.
"I...I've been here for years! I'm essential to this team!Irreplaceable! How can you just discard me like I'm...like I'm..."
"Me?" A soft voice came from the back of the room. The others turned to face the lone chair in the back, their curiosity peaked as for the first time they noticed the slender leg draped across the arm of the chair. The chair turned slowly and Elle leaned back further into it continuing on in a bored tone. "You and I didn't always get along Jayje but did you really think you weren't just as expendable as anyone?"
"Elle?" Morgan exclaimed in surprise.
"In the flesh Der" she replied, waving her hands over her body for emphasis. She turned back to face a distraught JJ. "Look sweetheart, hate to break it to ya, but you aren't special! None of you are. Well.." Her eyes flickered over to Hotch and Rossi briefly. "Look, it's okay. They'll just replace you with a new girl and all's well that ends well! You'll be fine, it's not like people will forget that you ever existed or...like your replacement better than they liked you or anything like that," she finished while staring pointedly at a squirming Prentiss.
"I'm not being replaced am I?" JJ turned to face Asole once more.
"We don't like the term 'replaced'. We are bringing in a new girl." he shrugged and checked his watch again.
"I don't understand! Why would a new girl be needed if it's my job that you don't need anymore?" She grunted in frustration when he refused to answer.
"Mr. Asole?" She questioned again.
"Look , we'll give you something nice, that says something!"
"Yeah like they gave me something 'nice'." Elle muttered. "I mean really, they had me go postal and kill a rapist. I worked in the Sex Offense unit for nearly a decade before joining the BAU, so why would I go postal on a rapist after catching the bastards for so many years?" She continued to mutter out loud.
"I can't lose my chickadees!" Garcia shrieked from her place beside Morgan. "And what have you done to my Reid? I haven't seen him yet! you haven't gotten rid of him too have you!"The others looked around frantically, finally noticing that Reid was not in the meeting with them.
Elle snorted from her seat."No worries, they only voluntarily get rid of the women. They never know what to do with us. I'm sure boy wonder, of all people, will be just fine. He has the right 'equipment' " She rolled her eyes and picked at her cuticles.
"Yes,well, if you all can settle down we'll get to the rest of the changes and your coworker," Asole sighed.
"There are more changes?" Rossi grumbled. "Unbelievable."
"Yes, well-" Asole was interrupted by Reid's entrance. He walked swiftly past his awestruck colleagues and plopped down in his seat. He continued to mutter to himself as he poured half a canister of sugar into his coffee.
"Dr. Reid, I trust you've heard the extent of our meeting through the conference call on your way here?"
"Yes sir, though I would recommend you give advance notice for any further meetings seeing as it does in fact take me an immeasurable amount of time to weasel my way through the swarm of fangirls outside of my apartment. It really sets my commute time back given the statistics-"
"I'll take it into consideration ," he interrupted with annoyance.
"You look different." Emily wondered out loud. "Why does he look different?" She shot an accusatory glance at the plump man awaiting an answer.
"Another change. Reid will look more suave this season. It's been decided that his social awkwardness and his geek look needs to be a bit more chic."
"Chic! CHIC? He looks like he stepped out of a frickin G.Q magazine! That isn't how he's supposed to look!" Emily argued.
"I'm in concurrence with Emily about my new...look," Reid exhaled blowing his freshly styled sandy locks out of his eyes in the process. "I resent the potential message being sent to younger viewers, that somehow I have to change in order to be more likeable or relatable. It isn't like I was a model in a past life, I don't need to be particularly chic!Walking through the bullpen as if I'm strutting down a runway wearing Calvin Cane-"
"Calvin Klein," Garcia corrected quietly.
"Calvin Klein! My style...it's part of what sets me apart from the others, part of what makes me individual, eccentric!Changing my image completely detracts from what I offer to the team intellectually, and quite honestly I can't afford any more tweenies with stalker like tendencies after me," he added with a whisper.
"They always start with a mini makeover before they give you the boot," Elle muttered from the back of the room, kicking her foot out for extra emphasis.
"He was fine the way he was Asole!" Morgan growled in an acerbic tone. "What next? Are you going to change Garcia's wardrobe too?"
"Actually, I wouldn't mind if...you know...I weren't so flamboyant all the time. I actually like neutral colors and sometimes the patterns give me vertigo." She whispered hesitantly."Oh and I've run out of terms of endearment could you guys do something about that?"
"Not now Baby Girl," Morgan hugged her close to him before glaring at Asole again.
"Actually we do have some plans for you . You and your boy toy over there will have some more scenes. We're toying with the idea of playing up your relationship."
Garcia sighed in relief. "Well that doesn't sound so bad,"
"Oh," Mr. Asole started again. "And we'll be needing you to visit a new unit occasionally, spread your knowledge. Your likeable. Hopefully you'll be able to wrangle in some viewers."
Garcia bit her lip and shook her head in anger. Her dangly earrings shook with each movement. "I knew him being all nicey nice was "suspect behavior"!"
"At least you're the last surviving chica here. Take what you can get Garci!" Elle replied in a sing-song voice.
"Well, anyhow. Morgan, you'll continue to be put risky situations, annoy people by being brutally honest, and tackle unsubs, and flirt. Not much changing there for you." muttered quickly.
"Wait, is there anything else I can do? I hope to the high heavens that you won't continue to have me be the proverbial muscle for the team. I am useful for more than just assaulting unsubs, being temperamental, knocking down doors, and being a jackass albeit a truthful one."
Asole's eyelids fluttered with a bit of shock. "Huh, I didn't realize you knew words like "proverbial"...maybe we will focus more on your intellectual side."
"Are you kidding me?" Morgan bellowed.
"Settle down Morgan," Hotch responded icily.
"Ahh yes, and the stoic Hotch. Our goal is to get you to smile at least once so we can know that our dental plan is going to good use," Asole chuckled at his own joke.
Hotch clenched his fist and tugged at his tie in an effort to avoid strangling the robust man before him. "Is that all ?"
"Eh, we'll have some family focus on you, after all you are a single father now. We plan on not focusing on you quite as much this season, but we'll see. I know you lost your wife and damn near lost your mind for a bit, but do you think you can be a little less brooding? Just work on that." Asole winked at him before swiveling around in his chair to glimpse out the window at his ridiculously expensive BMW.
"How does he expect us to be ready for this season? He can't possibly think the fans are going to respond well to all of this?" Hotch muttered to Rossi.
"Ah and Rossi. We uhh...we don't have much planned for you yet so just, I don't know. Look alive." Asole slapped his hand on the table before rising. "It was good talking to you folks. I'll see you at the next meeting. Unfortunately, I have a dinner to attend, can't keep the truffles and caviar waiting!" he winked at the defeated bunch before heading for the door. "Oh, and Prentiss cut backs don't necessarily mean cut outs..not yet anyways. JJ, it was a pleasure working with ya, no worries we'll give you a couple of weeks to say your goodbyes and pack up your belongings." With that he shut the door behind him.
"Alright, whose down for drinks?" Elle questioned with eyes raised in anticipation. The others turned to face her, residual disdain and shock still lingering heavily in the air. She shrugged in response to the silence.
"Okaaay. Too soon?" She nodded her head at the pointed glares being shot in her direction. "Yeah. Too soon." She muttered to herself. "If you like Jayje Hailey, Todd, and I can help you pack later and you can come hang with us for a girl's night out?" She broke the silence again by continuing. "If you need the help that is!" JJ's eyes glistened with unshed tears. "If you're interested we usually get together every Wednesday!"
~o~
The End.