Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Square-Enix Disney, or any of their logos, characters, locations, or concepts. I merely own this fan fiction, and a copy of the game... and soundtrack... and Dark Riku costume... and wig... and skirt...
...Forget what you just read...
Author's Notes: Welcome to my new fanfic! This one is a complete turn-around from my previous stories, because this one's a parody of Kingdom Hearts! I haven't ever written anything humorous, so don't bug me about how horrible the jokes are. (Actually, they're pretty funny to me...) Still, comments and constructive criticism are always welcome, as I'm always looking to get better with my writing.
This is an episodic comedy/parody/humorous thingy, in the style of Rooster Teeth's Red vs. Blue. So the chapters will be rather short, as the episodes would only be two to five minutes long on average. But they will get longer as the series progresses (and as my jokes get better). Also in the style of RvB, it will have more seasons. I don't know yet how many there will be, but they will be there.
As the story goes on, I'll try harder to stick to the original plotline, while still keeping the humor in. This may make it harder for me to update frequently. But I will update as fast as I can (within reason). Well, here it is! My first parody fanfic, the humorous comedy, (drumroll please!) The Mimicry of Kingdom Hearts!!!
Episode 1:
Dreams, Puberty, and Mustaches
Kairi passed Riku on her way over to the beach near the docks at Destiny Islands. Riku was chuckling, not noticing Kairi watched him with confusion. He was holding something in his left hand, and she looked over to see.
"What'cha got there, Riku?" she asked. Riku jumped in surprise and hid the item behind his back.
"N-N-Nothing! I don't have anything!" he stuttered. He saw Kairi staring at him in the way she usually does, letting him knew she would kick his ass if he didn't tell her. "Umm… Look over there! It's Elvis Presley!" he pointed behind her with his right hand, but she didn't remove her gaze. "Uhh… Look! Jesse McCartney!" She continued to stare at him.
All of a sudden, his eyes widened in all seriousness. "Watch out! It's Michael Jackson!" he shouted, but she still didn't turn around.
"Listen, Riku, I'm not stupid enough to fall for that stuff. By the way, Michael Jackson only goes for little boys! I mean come on, if anybody, he'd go for you, Riku!" stated Kairi. She knew she wasn't stupid enough to fall for it. But when she heard the Michael Jackson signature, she got scared.
"OW!" It was identical to the way Michael Jackson does it. This made Kairi jump and turn around quickly. When she realized it really wasn't him, she turned back to Riku.
"Come on Riku, that's only Selphie!" But as she looked at where Riku was, he wasn't there anymore. She looked around, but all she saw was a cloud of dust where Riku was a few moments ago.
She shrugged it off, then continued heading for the beach. When she got there, she found Sora snoozing on the sand a few feet away from the water. He always slept there, and it always took a good slay to the face to wake him up.
She looked at his face, and found out what it was Riku was holding before. It was a black permanent marker. Riku had drawn a large mustache on Sora's face that had curls at the ends. Kairi couldn't help but giggle.
She kneeled next to him, and patted him on the cheek. "Sora, wake up," she said, but no reply came. "Wake up you lazy bum!" she laughed.
"Give me a few more minutes, ma…" grumbled Sora. Kairi laughed a little more, until he reached up and grasped her right breast.
Her face switched from humorous to completely serious as this happened, and her eye began to twitch. "You… You PERVERT!" she spat, and punched his head down a few inches into the sand.
Sora lifted himself up from the beach and was finally—if only a little—awake. "Wha…? What happened? And why do I have a splitting headache?"
Kairi kneeled there, eye twitching, and remaining silent.
Sora shook his head and blew it off. "Anywho… I wanted to tell you something Kairi." He said, changing the subject.
"Mmhmm…?" mumbled Kairi, remaining in her state of confusion and surprise.
"I've been having these weird thoughts lately…" he continued, before getting cut off by the recently traumatized young female.
"I'VE FREAKING NOTICED!!!" she screamed.
"No, I mean, it's like every day for the past year I've been having these really gay dreams. Like just now, I dreamt of Riku standing in the water right in front of us, holding out his hand for me… And then we both got undressed and—" Once again, Sora's sentence was cut off by his friend.
"Okay! I've heard enough!" Kairi interrupted. "Look, Sora, it's puberty, get through it, get over it. You are not gay. Do you understand? You… are… not… gay. Bye now!" Kairi got up and walked away as Riku walked in, licking a sea-salt ice cream pop.
"What'd I miss?" asked Riku, looking towards Kairi as she walked. He turned to look at Sora and laughed. "By the way… nice mustache!"
End Episode 1: Dreams, Puberty, and Mustaches.
Author's Notes: Yeah, I know, too short, not descriptive enough, so on and so forth... But I tried, and I'm happy with this so far. Please give constructive criticism and comments, as I obviously need to improve. I ended it quickly, since it seemed to be a good place to end the first episode of a comedy. Well, I'll see you when I update!