It was the first time the senior staff was meeting together for almost seven years. The years had gone by too fast, and it felt like hardly any time had passed at all. Wasn't that always the way it was with old friends? There were some notable absences, of course. Tempered with the years to a dull sting. Tasha. And Data. And he wasn't here yet. She'd delayed her arrival as long as she could, in hopes he would already be there. She waited around for no man.
Memories of the last time they had all been together came easy. Another battle against the Romulans. The Enterprise and her crew had once again been victorious. Once again, by the skin of their teeth. But at a cost. The E limped home with the assistance of the Titan, bearing a heavy load - the body of it's first officer, Commander Worf, to his human parents on Earth. Crew and friends had later all gathered at a memorial for Worf at Khitomer, where he was given the highest honor a warrior could receive posthumously. The Klingon High Council named Worf to their list of glorious dead. The exploits of Worf and his Federation compatriots were recorded, as stories of honor and valor to be told for all time. It had been a great honor, and the week's feasting served as a catharsis for the Enterprise crew. But they all knew, those Romulans had succeeded where so many had failed. Jean-Luc Picard had been grounded and the Enterprise-E was to be scrapped. There would be no F.
The battle marked the end of their era. When Picard returned to Earth, Starfleet and the Federation turned a page and everyone knew it. But for Beverly Picard, it had been a relief. She returned to Earth with hopes for a fresh start for her family. A new beginning for the Picards. Jean-Luc was still with her, despite all her fears he would end up in her sickbay one day, with her unable to save him. Their son, Rene, had spent close to 10 years shuffling between starships and his father's home in France where he'd, for all intents and purposes, been raised by his aunt Marie.
Beverly's guilt at leaving her son for such long periods of time was hardly assuaged by the fact that it had been the best thing for Rene. Oh, how they had argued about sending him home to Earth shortly before his third birthday. Jean-Luc had insisted it was best for the boy's socialization and education, because life on the Enterprise was too risky for what would be their only child. It was too great a risk, and Beverly had been persuaded to send her baby away. He was their only child, and they had both barely survived the pregnancy and birth. The years and various injuries had finally caught up with her. She had waited too long, and she knew there was a part of Jean-Luc, hidden deep, that resented her for keeping him at arm's length for so long.
The first two years home had been easy. Rene was overjoyed to have his parents together in the same place and the same time with his beloved auntie Marie. Jean-Luc and Beverly would beam to San Francisco on the weekdays, where they would both teach courses at the Academy, returning home in the evenings to hear about Rene's day at the village school. Picard took him horseback riding and Beverly took him for long rambles around the vineyard, teaching him about medicinal plants. On weekends they would visit museums and archeological sites around the world, sometimes attending concerts and plays. Rene's curiosity and endless energy amazed and at times fatigued his parents. He was interested in everything, and they began to discover the person their son truly was. They were both so happy, just to be with him, sharing in the wonder of his experiences growing up. They ignored the niggling clues that their son was very different from his famous parents.
When he was twelve years old, Rene began to accompany his parents to San Francisco to attend Starfleet Junior School. The school was designed for the children of officers, Academy professors, Federation ambassadors, and visiting dignitaries. These children were being groomed to enter Starfleet Academy, and Rene wanted nothing more than to follow in his parents' footsteps. He was overjoyed to be attending. Wesley had attended SJS before their posting to the Enterprise, and Beverly was prepared for the rigorous and regimented course program. Rene wasn't. In that environment, the consequences of waiting too long slowly became clear.
Rene surprised his teachers. For the son of two of Starfleet's most illustrious officers, Rene Picard surprisingly lacked control. He lacked the discipline his elder brother Wesley Crusher had displayed at that age, and he lacked the drive to succeed evidenced in the personality profile of his fellow students. He was a happy, but highly sensitive boy. He was profoundly intelligent and could solve complex spatial puzzles, but he had difficulty communicating with his teachers and his peers. As he grew he became more clumsy, and preferred introspective and solitary pursuits, rather than sports or the competitive games key to the SJS curriculum. His frustration and emotional outbursts at school were nothing in comparison to the scenes at home. His teachers said he was disruptive, and his parents were confounded. His father felt helpless and his mother's guilt returned. Then Beverly began to run some tests and revieed all her son's medical records with a fine tooth comb.
And there it was, in black and white. A genetic scan she had all but ignored while she had been pregnant, because the key indicators in the pre-natal analysis had been very favorable. She had been far healthier than most mothers of her age, but she had still run the tests to be sure. Like a good mother and the extraordinary doctor she was. Every doctor knew, the older the mother, the more likelihood for a difficult pregnancy. But medicine had advanced such that most anomalies could be treated if caught early. She'd been so overjoyed by her second pregnancy, and the pre-natal tests had shown such a low likelihood for difficulties, that she'd overlooked the one indicator for autism. Autism and Asperberger's Syndrome were now so rare, they were merely footnotes in obstetrics textbooks. But there it was. Her son was a high functioning autistic, and the guilt she felt at the discovery, and her failure to have prevented her child pain and heartbreak, had nearly devoured her.
Jean-Luc had not understood. He'd tried, she knew. She also knew he blamed her. She was the doctor, and she should have known. She's been blinded by her happiness in providing Jean-Luc with the child he'd yearned for. She'd allowed her desire to stay remain at her husband's side to overrule her maternal instinct. She'd sent her baby away. And she'd ignored the clues all along the way, chalking it up to the fact that she just didn't know her son's personality yet, or the fact that he was just growing up. So she did all she could to make it up to Rene. If she ever could.
She quit her job at the Academy to devote herself to him. She took him out of the junior school and taught him herself at home until she found a better school for him in Vienna. And once Rene had settled into his new school, Beverly began working at a genetic research institute in Vienna to fill her days. She brought him to school every morning and brought him home every night, after his classes and coaching sessions with specialists had concluded. They returned to Labarre late in the evenings, oftentimes, well after Jean-Luc had eaten and retired for the night. Not wanting to disturb her husband, Beverly had started sleeping in one of the guest rooms.
And time passed. Jean-Luc missed Rene's thirteenth birthday when he had been tasked with chairing an inquiry into the suspicious deaths of four first-year cadets. The inquiry had gone well, and the Federation asked Jean-Luc to join the ambassadorial corps because of his skill with difficult and sensitive situations. Beverly forgot their fifteenth wedding anniversary. That day, Rene had a particularly trying day at school and she opted to take a room in Vienna that night. The next day, Jean-Luc agreed to become Ambassador Picard.
Rene's fourteenth birthday had been a respite. The family spent the day in Paris, exploring Rene's favorite museums and visiting a zoo. They went to a play that evening, and Beverly spent the first night in a long time with Jean-Luc. And she'd been happy. She felt she could at last breathe easy. The Picards were settled. But three months later, when their sixteenth wedding anniversary came around, it was Jean-Luc who was absent. She'd had dinner with Marie who passed on a small package from her husband. There was a handwritten note included in the box with a data chip and a residential access card.
Beverly,
I've been sent to Vulcan to meet with Spock regarding the Romulans. I don't know when I'll be able to return, but I'm excited about a new possibility. I wish I could tell you more and tell you this in person. The residential card belongs to a fully furnished townhouse in Vienna near Rene's school. There is a garden and a park nearby. Here's hoping you'll both be able to take long walks exploring your new city. The data chip contains all the details and the contacts for the house. It's an anniversary gift to you, cherie. Know that I want to make things easier for you. I know how much you have given up for our family and how hard you've been trying for Rene. You are my family, my only family, and I want to do what's best for you both. You are a wonderful mother. Never doubt that.
You'll also find some paperwork on the chip for the dissolution of our marriage. I've come to realize what a burden our marriage must be for you. Going weeks without seeing each other. Days without speaking. I know how much I have been hurting you by my many long absences. Like today. Our life on Earth has not been what either of us expected, and I know it is no way for us to live. I'm so sorry I was not able to talk to you about this in person. Take time these months to think about how you want to proceed. I'll contact you when I return from Vulcan. Please know how much I love you and only wish for your happiness. That's all I've ever wanted.
Jean-Luc
She was chaperoning one of Rene's school trips when he returned from Vulcan. She did not return his communiques. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction, the self-sacrificing idiot. She never returned to LaBarre, and eventually Picard relocated to Vulcan. He spent time at Deep Space Nine. She knows he went to Ba'ku and spent some time with Deanna and Will on the Titan. He kept in touch with Rene via subspace. He was a good father and she missed him. Oh, how she missed him.
She hadn't seen or spoken to Jean-Luc for close to three years. Time moving so quickly and yet so slowly during those lonely moments. The most recent dispatches had him preparing for a tour on a deep space cartography vessel, which was puzzling. She'd resolved to confront him about it tonight. How dare he abandon Rene like that? At least these past years he'd always been within days of Earth. His proximity had been a small reassurance that he hadn't given her up and was keeping tabs on her, like she was keeping on him. A deep space mission was a desertion, and the devastation she felt at that overwhelmed her, when she allowed herself to think about it. Which wasn't often.
She'd been so busy with Rene that at times it was easy to forget how much she missed her husband. But Rene was healthy. He was as happy as he could be, missing his father. And he'd learned to better control his emotions and his focus. It had not been easy, but he worked so hard. She knew he was like her in that. Supplementing natural aptitude for long hours of dedicated work. Rene had many friends. Beverly suspected there was even a girlfriend. He was as close as he'd ever be to a "normal" (she hated that word) seventeen year old boy excited for his future. A future that still included Starfleet Academy. It was still Rene's deepest desire, and his teachers and Beverly felt he was ready.
He'd come so far in the past five years, wanting to make his mother and father proud. She knew Rene would never be a starship captain, and so did he. He was going to follow his own path. Beverly smiled at the memory of the night he told he'd rather be a communications analyst stationed at the most boring outpost than become a doctor. They had laughed and laughed. He was preparing for his entry exams with vigor and they were in San Francisco while Rene attended a week-long preparatory workshop. The workshop had come at an opportune time. The Titan was in spacedock, Geordi was on sabbatical from the Daystrom Institute, and Picard was wrapping up a series of negotiations at headquarters. The Rikers were having everyone over to their home in Napa Valley. Will was going to cook, which was always a rare pleasure.
Beverly had been anxiously anticipating the evening for weeks. Rene was holed up the dormitory at the Academy and had told her to have a good time. He'd actually said, "Mom, get out of here!" He was so like Wesley sometimes. But he was his father's son, and she wanted nothing more than to talk about their boy with Jean-Luc. Rene had Jean-Luc's eyes, his voice, and the dimple on his chin. And the shock of red hair he'd had most of his life, was slowly thinning and receding. Rene was a grown young man. Lord only knew what she was going to do when he moved out of their home to join Starfleet. The idea was daunting. She wondered how Jean-Luc felt about it.
But her Howard pride held that he would have to be the one to reach out, and she'd sure as hell never sign those damn papers. She didn't give up. Her partner had left her, and she was never the girl who went chasing after any boy.
End Part I