A/N~ Unedited.
"Don't go jack, don't go." I said on cue with the actors on the screen. The 'Titanic' has always been one of my favorite movies. For the past seven years of my sixteen year old life, I've known every word, every actors name, and all of their facial expressions. I always cried during this movie, it was just so…intense. The love they felt for each other was just so…strong. Hell, even a giant ship threatening to kill them couldn't tear them apart. I wasn't a big romance freak, but I did love this movie.
I spun my fork around in the box of Chinese food I found in the fridge from yesterday before bringing it to my mouth. I wasn't particularly fond of Chinese food, in fact, I hated it. But ever since I can remember, me and my dad ordered it, and ate it while we watched the 'Titanic,' so I guess that's why I did it. He was in the war now. Has been for a couple months. I miss him, but I'm surviving on my own…for now.
My father was, is, and always will be my best friend. Sure, I've had other friends, particularly Justin, a kid who was so out of the closet it hurt, but he was nothing compared to my dad. After my mom died, my dad went through this depressed 'screw the world' phase, but of course, I snapped him out of it, and after that we just…well, bonded. He was beautiful. Unfortunately I looked nothing like him. He had shiny, black hair, while my hair was chocolate 'silk' as he called it, my eyes a cold, blue color, while his shone a forest green. I always envied my father, he was just so…perfect.
Needless to say, my heart sped up as I heard a knock on the door. My dad had promised to come home soon, and at eleven thirty at night, who else would it be.
I didn't bother to pause the movie, I was way to excited for that. I jumped up off the couch, knocking over the Chinese food and causing it to spill all over the floor, but I could clean it up later. I ran to the door, the silliest grin plastered on my face. I yanked open the door, prepared to see my father, but instead, seeing a tall man, wearing a navy blue army uniform. He held out a small envelope to me, I was shocked beyond belief. I took the letter nervously, looking at him for an explanation.
"I'm so sorry ma'am." He said quietly, his head down, before walking away.
I felt ice slide down my throat and turn to lead in my stomach. I closed the door quietly and sat down against it. Oh god. I didn't have to read the letter to know what it said. I closed my eyes, breathing in and out as evenly as possible. My father was dead. My reason for living gone. My everything, vanished.
I pulled myself up from the floor, keeping an impassive face as I walked into the living room, picking up the spilled food and bringing it into the kitchen to dispose of. I knew my father would want me to be strong.
Be strong. Be strong. Be strong. But I couldn't. I carelessly fell into one of the wooden kitchen chairs, my shoulders slumped and I put my head in my hands. This isn't happening. This can't be happening. I cried. For how long, I don't know. When it felt like no more tears could come, I looked down at the envelope, opening it slowly.
Dear Mrs. Nargles,
We regret to inform you that a mister Ryan Nargles was killed in the line of action.
I stopped reading and began skimming the paper for any important details.
A social worker should be by in the morning to help handle this situation.
So that was it then. I was going to have to talk to a social worker, help her find a 'suitable home' for me. I was going to have to leave, I was going to have to go away.
I Straightened to my full height, which was barely 5'3 and walked up to my room, wiping away tears from my cheeks. If I was leaving in the morning I would have to pack. I just hoped I would be strong enough to do it. I quietly got the luggage bags out of my closet and began packing all of my things. Every once in a while I would have to wipe a tear away, but I shoved my emotions down. My throat burned slightly but I wouldn't do this. I could not go into a depressed state, laying in bed for days and being a no body. I knew I had to be strong. I knew that if my father was watching he would want me to be strong. If he saw me crying, he would tell me that it was okay, and I needed to be strong. Strong.
"Cat? What's wrong? Are you okay?" My little brother's strangled voice came from the door way.
"Oh. Yeah buddy. I just… dropped this box on my foot. It's okay. Just hurts a little." I wiped the tears from my eyes before turning to face him, putting on a small smile. He ran over and hugged his eight year old head into my side.
"I hope it feels better. Where are you going?" He asked innocently.
"Listen baby, we have to go stay somewhere else for a while alright? Just for now. Why don't you go pack your stuff up okay? All of it. I'll be in soon to help you." I smiled and he nodded his agreement, deciding not to question it. I brushed some of his dark black hair out of his green eyes. He looked so much like my father. He left then, going off into his room and leaving me alone.
When I finished packing my stuff, I slowly left my room. I wandered around the house and eventually ended up in my fathers bedroom. I went over to his bed, laying down on his sheets, inhaling his sweet scent.
Tears escaped again, but I quickly pushed my emotions down. I went over to his closet, I starred for a while before desperately clinging to the neatly hung shirts. I gentle grabbed a handful of his T-shirts, dress shirts, and sweat pants, I also grabbed three of his favorite ties, and a bottle of his cologne. I softly placed it all in one of the luggage bags. If I was going to move, I was taking him with me.
I placed the bags down stairs near the front door, still slightly not believing that he was actually dead. He joked a lot. He liked to pull pranks. This was just another one. Soon he would come rushing in the door, laughing hysterically and I would laugh with him.
I waltzed back into the living room a second later, the stupid movie still playing. Aggravated, I grabbed the remote and threw it at the T.V, causing it to form a small crack. In my fit of hysteria, I went over and pushed the T.V. over, satisfied when the screen went black.
I hate that movie.
I slept in my fathers bed that night, just smelling his scent, I couldn't hold in the tears any longer, and I let them flow. Slowly at first, and quickening to the point where I was gasping for air. I fell asleep like that. Just sitting in my own river of tears.
"I think you'll like it here. It's really green, and nice. There's not a lot of people, but I think you'll find it quite charming." The social worker chatted politely from the seat beside me, and I smiled at her kindly, even though I couldn't care less about what she was saying.
I decided last night that I wouldn't let anyone see me crying over this. I would be strong. I would be happy, well as happy as I could be. I needed to act like nothing is wrong, I needed to not think about my father.
"Thank you." I replied kindly to her, as she flipped her shoulder length black, curly hair out of her eyes. I did the same with my elbow length, dark brown hair.
"Are you feeling okay honey?" She asked, putting her hand to my forehead as she drove. She'd asked me that about six times since we first left New Jersey. I don't think she realized that I was just naturally a peachy color, and my cheeks were always this pink, no matter the weather.
"Yes. I'm fine. Just a little tired." I said true fully, pursing my cherry colored stained lips.
She seemed to take that as an answer and turned her eyes back to the road. I was going to live with my aunt in some small reservation called La Push. It was in Washington and I was all but happy about the idea of constant rain. Where I lived, the sun was constantly shinning, maybe a little too much.
"Hey Ryan, you okay back there?" I said, turning in my seat to look at my little brother. He nodded, absent mindedly stroking his pet hamster. He really loved that thing. It's name was Muffins. I couldn't understand how someone could get so close to an animal.
I was snapped out of my thoughts by my ringing phone.
"Hello?" I answered, knowing it was Justin.
"Hey babe, how are you holding up?" He asked. It was funny. Justin didn't look like a gay guy. Nor did he sound like a gay guy. But sure enough, he was a gay guy.
"I'm fine. Honestly. You just found out what? An hour ago? You don't have to call every five minutes to make sure I'm alright." I scolded slightly, but it was quite clear in my voice how much I appreciated him being so worried about me. Justin was one of my only real friends, and when he found out I was moving to forks, he immediately told me he was going to move there just to be close to me. Of course that wouldn't be happening. But it was great that he wanted to make me feel better. He knew I needed him now, more then ever.
"I know you Catherine Nargles, and you are most certainly not okay!" He snapped, I cringed at the sound of my full name. He knew he was only allowed to call me Cat, like everyone else.
"Yeah, well, I've got to go, we're almost there, I'll call you when I get settled." I hung up, paying no attention to his pleading for me not to go. I was a sucker for the sad faces and whining.
"Well, here it is." The social worker exclaimed, pulling up in front of a small, red brick house.
"Come on. It'll be okay." I said, reluctantly getting out of the car and holding my hand out to my brother. He immediately took it and hung to it like it was a life line.
The social worker went and knocked on the door. I was scared. It's not like we never saw my aunt Nadine. We visited her once in a while, last time was years ago. She was on my moms side. My mom was Indian, my dad fully American, my brother inherited my mothers tan skin, while I was stuck with my fathers light peach coloring. I learned to like it more and more these days.
Still, we weren't used to being in La Push. We would come here for a couple days at the most, but never really left the house. I never meet anyone of importance, and never ventured out on my own. This place was a totally new world, and I'm sure my brother noticed that.
"CATHERINE! RYAN! COME IN!" A woman who was all too skinny greeted us, pulling us in for hugs as we entered her home. "CAT! You got so big! And look at your figure! I bet the boys go crazy over you, ay?" She nudged me playfully and I was slightly repulsed. Ew. Not something you want to talk about with an aunt you barely even know. I managed a polite smile.
"If you don't mind, we'd like to go get situated in our rooms. It's been a long day." I explained, pulling my brother gently behind me as she lead us to our rooms. She showed me mine first and I was glad to see a window over looking the forest. The walls were red, and the floor was a dark wood. The bed sheets were a deep purple, and the dresser and bookshelf were pure white wood. The room had so many colors it was slightly too much.
I followed my aunt and my brother into his room, I would need to help him set up his things.
"How long are we staying here Cat?" My brother asked, his childish voice making me smile.
"I don't know sweetie, just for a little while I promise. Hey, we can watch a movie later okay? Once I get all my things unpacked. How about Toy Story? That's a good one." I said, trying to cheer him up with his favorite movie. He smiled and continued to help me put his clothes away in his closet. His room was just as colorful as mine. The walls were a blue color, and the floors were wood. The bed was green, along with the T.V stand. He seemed to like it enough.
"Cat. Are we going to go home before school starts? I need to tell Ms. Foster about the book she gave me." His eyes grew big as I shook my head no.
"We're going to go to school here baby. It starts in a couple days. Two days actually. Not tomorrow, but the next day." I explained so he would understand. "I'm going to go unpack my things. I'll be back in later. Call me if you need my help." I said, kissing the top of his head before walking out.