Random Madness
By The Ripperette
*******NOTES******
This is set up as if there were NO roster split. It's just easier for me to incorporate every one I like that way, without having it make no sense. But Raven is just banned from both shows, now. Lita hasn't gotten her neck injury, and we'll just pretend that Rhyno's neck is all better, now!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the Hardy Boyz's Locker Room....
Jeff: (putting hair-dye in) uhh...blue and yellow is green, sooo.... (Picks up two bottles, but doesn't know which two, because he's watching his hair in the mirror) And about....oh, I'll just use the entire two bottles! (Squirts a bunch of hair dye in, not realizing he took white and red, thus creating...) AAAAHHH! PINK?! NOOOOO000000oooo....
Matt: (falls out of closet with Lita, with a bunch of weird clothing that the Hardy Boyz wear all over him, but not wearing much of it) Jeff! What the hell are you doing?
Jeff: I turned my hair pink! How am I supposed to go on TV if my hair is PINK?
Lita: Err...I think I broke my neck...should I be in this fan fic?
Matt: Well, D-Lo should REALISTICLY have no career, but he's on Heat.
Jeff: All the people with no career go to Heat! Look at Raven and Stasiak! For crying out loud, it's co-hosted by D-Lo! Now, WHAT ABOUT MY HAIR?
Matt: (laughing a little) Well, Jeff, unless the show decides not to air today, I guess you'll have to do it... we're against Billy and Chuck, so be ready!
Jeff: ...stop the show? Matt, you're a genius! (Hugs Matt and runs out of the room)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a random hall...
Lance: So, the best way to do this is through Smackdown, I'm telling you!
Christian: Yeah, but if the big stars go to RAW, then we should too!
Test: What are you guys fighting aboot now?
Lance: Which show would be better suited to our Anti-American...ness.
Christian: Yeah, *I* say we should go to Raw. But Lance says we should stay on Smackdown...
(Jeff suddenly runs into Christian, knocking both of them for a loop, and falling over)
Test: (screams and jumps into Lance's arms, ala Scooby Doo and Shaggy)
Lance: Zoinks! Err... (Drops Test unceremoniously onto the floor) What do you think you're doing, American?!
Jeff: (scrambles to his feet, placing his hand on his hips) Where's the production crew, you dastardly Canadians?!?!
Christian: ...... (Sits up suddenly) Boy, you better be able to explain why you just did that!
Lance and Test: ...?
Jeff: (stands high, thrusting one fist into the air) I must stop this villainous show from airing on national television! (Spins around and then runs off, making a shwoosh noise)
Lance: ...that was...ummm... (Looks at Test)
Test: What was that all aboot?
Christian: (stands up, sniffing a little and scratching the front of his neck, causing his fellow Canadians to stare oddly at him, then says in a slight Texas accent) Boy, you ain't showin' me a lotta respect. I don't like that. Do I gotta beat your punk ass?!
Lance: ...why are you acting like the Undertaker?
Test: Why was that Hardly Boy acting like the Hurri-dork?
(They both fall silent, and look at Christian)
Christian: ..? Why you eye-ballin' me?! Where's my bike at?
Test: ...at least he's not Billy or Chuck.
Lance: (smacks Test in the back of the head) You FOOL! If he thinks he's The Undertaker that means he thinks he's the AMERICAN Badass! WE'RE SHORT A CANADIAN!
Test: Well, that's simple enough to fix... (Taps Christian's shoulder, and as he turns around, big boots him in the head)
Christian: Augh! (Falls down, and then twitches)
Lance: You idiot! What if that just makes him into a vegetable?
Test: ...maybe he's a Canadian vegetable?
Christian: (sits up, giving them a disdainful look) Just WHO do you think you are?!
Lance: Phew... sounds normal enough!
Test: Yup, that sounds like Christian!
Christian: I'm larger than life, dammit!
Test and Lance: Uh oh...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the dark side of the arena...
Raven: ...and that's where YOU come in! You can help me back onto the two main shows, Raw and Smackdown! The two of us would be unstoppable! ...whaddaya say?'
Rhyno: Why would I help you? I don't even like you. I'd rather lick a cactus!
Raven: Because...umm...you'd help because...licking a cactus would really hurt?
Rhyno: ...I rest my case. Find someone else to pawn into helping you. (Walks off)
Raven: NO, please come back here! Help a friend! I want TV time! I want my Hardcore title! I..... (Rhyno tugs away from Raven, and quickly walks off)...I think I need a hug...
Jeff: (enters the scene, making a shwoosh noise. Somehow, his hair is pastel-colored and rainbow streaked) Fear not, dark, evil citizen Raven! I see you have noted the evil of your ways! I, The Rainbow Hurricane, will hug you!
Raven: (Holding Jeff at arms distance, and probably more if he could) Whoa! Not with a name like that, you're not!
(Pauses, smelling the air) Augh! (Pushes Jeff away, covering his nose) God...you smell like a bunch of chemicals! How much hair dye are you wearing!!
Jeff: I know not what you mean, Citizen Raven! (Is suddenly hit from behind, with a chair, by Lance Storm)
Lance: Alright, you Backstreet Boy! What have you done to Christian, and how do we reverse it?!
Test: And how do we get rid of that damn chemical smell? It's all aroond that stoopid arena, eh?
Christian: (skips around like Brock Lesner, most likely attempting to flex his neck muscles, but his neck isn't as big as Lesnar's) ...*grunt*....
Lance: We've hit him in the head countless times, and he still thinks he's some else! How are we supposed to defend the tag team titles?!
Raven: Huh? Wait!!! Utilizing my high IQ, I might be able to tell you what's wrong!!!
Jeff: (sits up, and eyes Lance Storm. He is stared at by Test, Lance and Raven. Jeff tilts his head to the side, widening his eyes and points at them) ...who... (Starts talking very loudly for no reason) IN THE BLUE HELL ARE YOU?!
Raven: (snatches a tube of hair dye from Jeff, and looks at its ingredients) My God! No wonder! This thing is filled with weird drugs! They've probably inhaled them too much, and getting hit in the head has just made it worse!
Test: Oh, well, at least not everyone will get his in the head tonight...
Lance and Raven: Test, you FOOL!
(Jeff and Christian continue to stare each other down, thinking they are each other's opponent at Summerslam)
Lance: Of COURSE some other people are going to get hit in the head! We're wrestlers!!
Raven: And you said that smell is all over the arena?
(Dramatic sting music is played in the background, as all of them look around, wondering where it came from)
Lance: We need to cancel the show!
Jeff: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa - WHOA!! That's exactly The Rock's point!! We...need to cancel the show, so no one... AND THE ROCK MEANS, NO ONE! Sees the Rock with pastel hair!! I look like the view of a cotton candy booth from a kid on an out of control carousel! IF YA SUH-MEEEELLLLLALALALLALALLALLL! What THE ROCK!
(Looks at camera) ...is cooking'!
Christian: *grunt*
TO BE CONTINUED????
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'll betcha I'd really like to continue this story if you nice people reviewed it! Anything you'd like to see? I'll put in requests or suggestions, if they're good! Who should Jeff and Christian think they are next? Oh, my God, business is really picking up! Stick around for part two!
By The Ripperette
*******NOTES******
This is set up as if there were NO roster split. It's just easier for me to incorporate every one I like that way, without having it make no sense. But Raven is just banned from both shows, now. Lita hasn't gotten her neck injury, and we'll just pretend that Rhyno's neck is all better, now!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the Hardy Boyz's Locker Room....
Jeff: (putting hair-dye in) uhh...blue and yellow is green, sooo.... (Picks up two bottles, but doesn't know which two, because he's watching his hair in the mirror) And about....oh, I'll just use the entire two bottles! (Squirts a bunch of hair dye in, not realizing he took white and red, thus creating...) AAAAHHH! PINK?! NOOOOO000000oooo....
Matt: (falls out of closet with Lita, with a bunch of weird clothing that the Hardy Boyz wear all over him, but not wearing much of it) Jeff! What the hell are you doing?
Jeff: I turned my hair pink! How am I supposed to go on TV if my hair is PINK?
Lita: Err...I think I broke my neck...should I be in this fan fic?
Matt: Well, D-Lo should REALISTICLY have no career, but he's on Heat.
Jeff: All the people with no career go to Heat! Look at Raven and Stasiak! For crying out loud, it's co-hosted by D-Lo! Now, WHAT ABOUT MY HAIR?
Matt: (laughing a little) Well, Jeff, unless the show decides not to air today, I guess you'll have to do it... we're against Billy and Chuck, so be ready!
Jeff: ...stop the show? Matt, you're a genius! (Hugs Matt and runs out of the room)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a random hall...
Lance: So, the best way to do this is through Smackdown, I'm telling you!
Christian: Yeah, but if the big stars go to RAW, then we should too!
Test: What are you guys fighting aboot now?
Lance: Which show would be better suited to our Anti-American...ness.
Christian: Yeah, *I* say we should go to Raw. But Lance says we should stay on Smackdown...
(Jeff suddenly runs into Christian, knocking both of them for a loop, and falling over)
Test: (screams and jumps into Lance's arms, ala Scooby Doo and Shaggy)
Lance: Zoinks! Err... (Drops Test unceremoniously onto the floor) What do you think you're doing, American?!
Jeff: (scrambles to his feet, placing his hand on his hips) Where's the production crew, you dastardly Canadians?!?!
Christian: ...... (Sits up suddenly) Boy, you better be able to explain why you just did that!
Lance and Test: ...?
Jeff: (stands high, thrusting one fist into the air) I must stop this villainous show from airing on national television! (Spins around and then runs off, making a shwoosh noise)
Lance: ...that was...ummm... (Looks at Test)
Test: What was that all aboot?
Christian: (stands up, sniffing a little and scratching the front of his neck, causing his fellow Canadians to stare oddly at him, then says in a slight Texas accent) Boy, you ain't showin' me a lotta respect. I don't like that. Do I gotta beat your punk ass?!
Lance: ...why are you acting like the Undertaker?
Test: Why was that Hardly Boy acting like the Hurri-dork?
(They both fall silent, and look at Christian)
Christian: ..? Why you eye-ballin' me?! Where's my bike at?
Test: ...at least he's not Billy or Chuck.
Lance: (smacks Test in the back of the head) You FOOL! If he thinks he's The Undertaker that means he thinks he's the AMERICAN Badass! WE'RE SHORT A CANADIAN!
Test: Well, that's simple enough to fix... (Taps Christian's shoulder, and as he turns around, big boots him in the head)
Christian: Augh! (Falls down, and then twitches)
Lance: You idiot! What if that just makes him into a vegetable?
Test: ...maybe he's a Canadian vegetable?
Christian: (sits up, giving them a disdainful look) Just WHO do you think you are?!
Lance: Phew... sounds normal enough!
Test: Yup, that sounds like Christian!
Christian: I'm larger than life, dammit!
Test and Lance: Uh oh...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the dark side of the arena...
Raven: ...and that's where YOU come in! You can help me back onto the two main shows, Raw and Smackdown! The two of us would be unstoppable! ...whaddaya say?'
Rhyno: Why would I help you? I don't even like you. I'd rather lick a cactus!
Raven: Because...umm...you'd help because...licking a cactus would really hurt?
Rhyno: ...I rest my case. Find someone else to pawn into helping you. (Walks off)
Raven: NO, please come back here! Help a friend! I want TV time! I want my Hardcore title! I..... (Rhyno tugs away from Raven, and quickly walks off)...I think I need a hug...
Jeff: (enters the scene, making a shwoosh noise. Somehow, his hair is pastel-colored and rainbow streaked) Fear not, dark, evil citizen Raven! I see you have noted the evil of your ways! I, The Rainbow Hurricane, will hug you!
Raven: (Holding Jeff at arms distance, and probably more if he could) Whoa! Not with a name like that, you're not!
(Pauses, smelling the air) Augh! (Pushes Jeff away, covering his nose) God...you smell like a bunch of chemicals! How much hair dye are you wearing!!
Jeff: I know not what you mean, Citizen Raven! (Is suddenly hit from behind, with a chair, by Lance Storm)
Lance: Alright, you Backstreet Boy! What have you done to Christian, and how do we reverse it?!
Test: And how do we get rid of that damn chemical smell? It's all aroond that stoopid arena, eh?
Christian: (skips around like Brock Lesner, most likely attempting to flex his neck muscles, but his neck isn't as big as Lesnar's) ...*grunt*....
Lance: We've hit him in the head countless times, and he still thinks he's some else! How are we supposed to defend the tag team titles?!
Raven: Huh? Wait!!! Utilizing my high IQ, I might be able to tell you what's wrong!!!
Jeff: (sits up, and eyes Lance Storm. He is stared at by Test, Lance and Raven. Jeff tilts his head to the side, widening his eyes and points at them) ...who... (Starts talking very loudly for no reason) IN THE BLUE HELL ARE YOU?!
Raven: (snatches a tube of hair dye from Jeff, and looks at its ingredients) My God! No wonder! This thing is filled with weird drugs! They've probably inhaled them too much, and getting hit in the head has just made it worse!
Test: Oh, well, at least not everyone will get his in the head tonight...
Lance and Raven: Test, you FOOL!
(Jeff and Christian continue to stare each other down, thinking they are each other's opponent at Summerslam)
Lance: Of COURSE some other people are going to get hit in the head! We're wrestlers!!
Raven: And you said that smell is all over the arena?
(Dramatic sting music is played in the background, as all of them look around, wondering where it came from)
Lance: We need to cancel the show!
Jeff: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa - WHOA!! That's exactly The Rock's point!! We...need to cancel the show, so no one... AND THE ROCK MEANS, NO ONE! Sees the Rock with pastel hair!! I look like the view of a cotton candy booth from a kid on an out of control carousel! IF YA SUH-MEEEELLLLLALALALLALALLALLL! What THE ROCK!
(Looks at camera) ...is cooking'!
Christian: *grunt*
TO BE CONTINUED????
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'll betcha I'd really like to continue this story if you nice people reviewed it! Anything you'd like to see? I'll put in requests or suggestions, if they're good! Who should Jeff and Christian think they are next? Oh, my God, business is really picking up! Stick around for part two!