Me: SOOO BORED!
Edward: ...so you decided to write a story about Jacob and Nessie that I have no control over...
Me: Duh. I've already written, like, a bijillion stories about you and Bella. Sheesh! Attention-whore much?
Edward: Don't make me bite you!
Me: HAHAHA funny.
Edward: Guess what?
Me: What?
Edward: You don't own Twilight *smirk*
Me: ...damn
I don't own twilight... =[
I walked out the front doors of the high school, Lincoln High to be exact, and over to the car waiting for me. I got into the Rabbit quickly, trying my hardest not to break out into the blush that was slowly willing itself up to my cheeks. Sadly, this was one of the traits I inherited from Mom. Too soon I had put my books in the back seat and climbed up front, the blood quickly rushing to my cheeks. I tried to think of something that wasn't embarrassing, but couldn't. It was weird that I had a crush on my best friend.
The silence was broken soon after the car started rolling down the highway. "How was school Nessie?" This, in turn, made the blush go away faster. When I was younger I used to enjoy the shorter nickname that Jacob had adopted for me, one my mom had taken up resenting.
My eyes flashed as I answered. "Renesmee. You should know this Jacob." I let a small sneer adorn my face for a moment and his eyes flashed off the road to my face, only for a second.
"Sure sure, Renesmee, ugh." The words looked almost painful coming off his lips, like he had been drinking vinegar. The sneer fell off my face and I couldn't help but let a small chuckle out from my lips. Again, Jacob glanced at me, a small smile on his face. I looked down and bit on my lip, again something I had gotten from my mom. This lasted a second as I watched my house flash by the window. I pressed my face against the glass, trying to catch a glimpse at the already long gone house.
"Uh, Jake? You know you're taking me home, right?" I asked curiously, eyebrows raised. This time a real smiled lit up Jacob's face and he shook his head, full out laughing.
"Yeah, you're going home, just not to your house."
This made me relax a bit more than I had been previously. Apparently Dad gave Jacob some time with me. Maybe Jake could help me with my math homework…
"Yes," Jacob said abruptly, breaking my mental lapse.
"Yes what?"
"I'll help you with your math homework." The blush began again on my cheeks. Jacob didn't have time to notice though, thankfully, as we arrived at his house. I was about to open the door and get my books but Jacob beat me to them. Trying my best to protest this simple gentlemanly gesture, when Jacob opened the door for me to get out, I didn't budge. He motioned with his hand for me to get up, but instead I crossed my arms over my chest.
"No."
"Aw, come on Nessie…"
"Renesmee!"
This time Jacob scooped me up, throwing me over his shoulder. I screamed, but not in terror. In embarrassment.
"Come on Jake! I'm wearing a dress!" I screamed, trying to reach my back to pull down the lower part of my dress that I could feel slowly inching up my back. Jacob grunted while he shut the car door and just kept on walking, despite my pleas. Only when we reached the porch did he finally set me down, and before I straightened myself I gave him a swift punch on the arm, with as much force as I could muster. Which wasn't a lot, and I'm sure it hurt me worse than Jacob.
Before I could pull my hand back Jacob had scooped it up with his own. "Please," he said, staring into the depths of my chocolate brown eyes, "don't be mad. I'm sorry." And I couldn't help but comply with a slow nod. The wide smile was set back in place a moment after. I swear, I would give up everything to just have him like that, always and forever. It made me think back to when I found out Jacob was a werewolf. I had been scared, but something about him had always made me feel safe. I sighed, caught up in the moment.
I looked around for a moment, thinking of how surely Billy would be out here giving me one of his giant hugs. When he wasn't, though, I felt awfully confused. "Where's Billy? I thought he would be here?"
For a moment Jacob looked uncomfortable, but soon recovered. "He's out. Said some people at work had to take him out to see a bigger city." I nodded, feeling heat again rise into my cheeks about how Jacob and I were alone. It wasn't anything different to what had been happening lately, anyway, but somehow this was different. I shook off the feeling when my cell rang, Aunt Alice the caller. I held up my phone for Jacob to see and walked off so I could have some amount of privacy.
Before I could even say hello, I heard: "You know they're going to say no." What? I thought curiously.
"Nice to hear from you too, Auntie Alice." A small laugh rang out through the speaker, but all too soon I could feel how tense she was.
There was a sigh, followed by, "They're going to disapprove you dating Jacob." I gasped. I knew that most of my family were more than just the normal vampires, that they all had 'powers' and I also knew that Aunt Alice had the gift of seeing the future, but that thought had barely entered my mind.
I took a deep breath before answering, trying to calm my breathing. "What are you talking about Aunt Alice?" Another laugh.
"Oh, you know. Show your dad how much you love him Nessie dear, that might be the only way to convince him." Before I could correct Aunt Alice on calling me 'Nessie' she had hung up the phone. Snapping it shut I walked back over to where Jacob was waiting for me. Of course the first words out of his mouth were "Who was that?"
My mouth went dry for a moment, but I knew he already knew. He just wanted me to confirm it. "Aunt Alice," I said with as much courage as I could. Jacob nodded absentmindedly and led me inside. Immediately I walked back to his room with my books in tow while Jacob went to get a snack. I felt the dry burn in the back of my throat and tried not to think of it too much. I would have to go hunting, soon. Quickly I lay out my books on the bed and settled down, content with taking as much time as I needed to figure out this problem. I heard Jacob come before I saw him, and that should be quite obvious, but he was trying to be stealthy.
I gave a small chuckle. "It won't work. Vampireness, remember?"
"Damn," I heard him mutter from a few feet away, but then quickly corrected himself with a "Don't ever say that word! You never heard it!" I snickered, thinking just how many times I had used that with my friends, such as when we all know we failed a test. 'Damn. I know I bombed that test, those questions were just too hard!'
"Ok!" I called back and returned my focus to the problem at hand. After a few more minutes I was no closer to the answer when Jacob walked back into the room, taking a place on the bed next to me.
"Now, what seems to be the problem?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows in a way that made clutch my stomach with the pain of laughter. When I recovered from my laughing fit, I showed Jacob the problem. He looked at me disapprovingly. "Come on now, you're a vampire! You're having trouble with this?" I nodded sincerely. Sighing, Jacob took the pencil from my hand and began to write out the problem.
22x-16=2x+8
"See, now all you do is…" Jacob explained, but I wasn't listening at all. I was daydreaming. "And that's how you do it!" I snapped back, staring at the paper with the answer 1 1/5.
"Oh," I stammered, completely unsure of how he had gotten that answer.
"You don't get it do you?"
"No, but thanks for giving me the answer," I grinned brightly giving him a kiss on the cheek and gathering up the homework to put into my notebook. Since I had nothing else to occupy my mind I felt the dull ache in the back of my throat, again. I lay a hand on my neck and swallowed the venom pooling in my mouth. Ugh. I didn't want to go hunting, but if I didn't I was sure that I might kill someone tomorrow. I laughed at the thought of killing George, the annoyingly sweet boy who followed me around despite my protests. Once I had even tried to compel him into not liking me, but I got in trouble for that with Dad so I vowed never to do it again.
I must have been longer than I thought because I felt Jacob's blistering warm hands curl around me and his chin on my head. "Need to hunt?" he asked nonchalantly. Jacob got his answer when I sighed unhappily. He laughed and I pouted. "Come on. I'll go with you."
Turning around I frowned. "I don't want to be weak. Everyone is going next week…I should try and hold out."
Jacob's face turned disapproving. "Hey. You're the new vamp; don't you get like, special privileges or something?" Smiling I walked into the living room and dialed Dad's phone. It picked up on the second ring.
"Renesmee." You could hear his tone ring with relief. "Where are you?" I sent a scowl towards Jacob's laughing form as I answered.
"Jacob's, Dad. Its ok, I'm fine. Just wondering if I could go hunting. Not sure if I can make it until next week…"
I could almost see Dad nodding on the other end of the phone. "Sure. Of course. Whatever you need, sweetheart. Just tell the dog to have you back by 8." I shuttered at the casual tone of my dad calling Jacob the 'dog'.
"Ok, love you, bye!" I mumbled before shutting the phone and turning off the connection. When I turned back to Jacob he had composed his face and had already stripped down to just pants. I averted my eyes and began walking out the front door. It bothered me more than other people that Jacob seemed content to walk around half naked.
"Hey hey hey now," Jacob called, hurrying to catch up beside of me, "what did Edward say?" Now Jacob was in front of me, holding his arms out to stop me in my place. I could easily get around him, but decided otherwise.
My tone was quick and sharper than I intended. "He said fine. Let's go." I set a fast pace and walked around Jacob. When I didn't hear him walking behind me – wolf or human – I grew worried and quickly turned around to see where he was. Jacob was still at the door, head cocked to the side, staring at me. His eyes looked hurt. My normal reaction would be to tell him to get over it and come and hunt, but today was anything but normal. I felt the weirdest sensation – I wanted to kiss my best friend! I scowled again, shaking my head lightly to try and dislodge the feeling. Sadly, though, it wasn't like getting rid of thoughts. This feeling would be sticking around for awhile.
Then of course I cursed myself for not going ahead and taking my driving test for my learners. I wouldn't be able to leave. And of course I wasn't going to call for someone to come and get me – that would seem like losing and dad would more than likely kill Jacob for something he didn't do. Of course I could run, but I was way too tired, or I would be after hunting. I turned away so that I couldn't see Jacob anymore and took off at a light jog. I felt bad that this day had ended so badly, one that I had hoped would go so well. Today was going to be the day I told Jacob I liked him, maybe even loved. Again I blushed. I felt some odd connection to Jacob and he had always been here for me.
Mom and dad had let me date just a bit at one of the old places we'd lived and I had like that ok, the guys were nice to me and all. But Jacob had been there when they broke up with me - stating I was 'emotionally detached' - and held me when I cried. He was the one that I wanted to spend my weekends with when all my friends were gone, and even when they weren't. He was the one I could go to with things I couldn't tell mom or dad. My best friend.
That's when I heard him, or more the soft pad of his feet behind me. I slowed down to a walk and curiously Jacob stopped his jog to stay roughly the same distance behind me. I stopped, and so did Jacob. Slowly I turned around to see his head bent, ready to follow at a moment's notice. This I didn't like; he wasn't a dog to me. I walked toward him, and soon I was close enough to touch him. But Jacob pleaded to me with his eyes not to let me touch him, and shied away when I tried. This broke my heart, shattered and bleeding. So before I ran off to his house and then home, I allowed myself one brief touch, just enough to convey what I wanted. Just enough to make him feel guilty.
It was an image of Jake and me kissing.
When I got home, I was in tears. I flung my books on the table and ran straight to my room. Hopefully dad would understand that I needed time to myself. I heard a tap on my window and peaked up from the pillow I was crying into to look at the tapper. It was Jacob. I walked up to the curtains and shut them slowly, letting him feel how much pain I was actually in.
"Come on Renesmee, don't make me break the window!" he whined from the outside.
I sat up, furiously wiping tears from my puffy eyes. "Go to hell!" I could feel the hole it had torn in both mine and Jacob's hearts, but it was too late to take the words back. And I sure wasn't going to. Jacob then went around to the door to knock and ask for entrance from mom, but knowingly she denied him. I would forever be thankful.
"Please Bella? I really fucked up with her. Please?"
"No Jacob." And the door was shut.
When there was a knock on my door I allowed it, Mom slipping in quickly and as quietly as she could. When she sat down on the bed I quickly scrambled over to curl myself around her, sobbing quite uncontrollably. She stroked my hair and didn't say anything except an encouraging word here or there. When I finally did look up to meet her eyes, they were hesitant, unsure where to begin. So I started where I best knew; at the beginning. I lay my hand on Mom's cheek and showed her everything that had happened. She tensed at the right places and frowned at a few of the ones I loved, but didn't speak until it was over.
Then mom looked at me with sad eyes and gave me a small hug. "I know it doesn't seem like it, but Jacob can be horrible. Just let him stew for a few days, no matter what." I nodded, but unsure how I would let this be for a few days. "How would you like to go shopping with Aunt Alice?" Mom suggested, knowing one of my favorite pastimes. I grinned brightly and nodded. Within moments Aunt Alice was over and tugging me along, giving me a hug.
Just before we were out the door she said, "I wish you were this enthusiastic Bella. Thank god it didn't rub off on your child!" We both laughed, knowing my mom's aversion to shopping. I saw Jacob kicking a stone in the forest a few feet away, and when he looked up I saw his eyes filled with silent tears. I didn't notice we had stopped walking until Aunt Alice spoke. "Jacob, she doesn't need to talk to you. We're having shopping therapy and you need to be nowhere near her. At least for 48 hours." Jacob's eyes popped out of his head – and I'm sure mine did too – and he looked as though he was about to protest. Of course though Aunt Alice swept me up and all that kept me walking forward was the thought of new clothes.
I absolutely adored Aunt Alice for calling Aunt Rosalie too. She was pretty good with boy troubles, seeing as though she had had some of her own, but everyone refused to tell me what they were. As we all shopped, we talked. "So tell us what happened Renesmee," Aunt Rosalie asked as she was sorting through a rack of jeans for my size.
"You see, as Aunt Alice already knows," I began, putting extra stress on Aunt Alice, "I think I like Jacob. And today I wanted to tell him that I liked him and everything was going good until I snapped and apparently something inside of him did too because he was acting like I was a higher power to him or something. And then, when I tried to tell him that it was ok, and that I liked him, he wouldn't let me touch him. So I made him feel guilty by showing him an image of us kissing." I paused for a breath before continuing.
"So then, when I got home he followed and I told him to 'go to hell' after shutting the curtains in his face. When he tried to come in and talk to me Mom told him he couldn't come in and stuff. So now I'm sure he'll never want to go out with more, or even be my friend. I'm a suckish friend, don't you think?" When I glanced up to see if they were still listening, though, Aunt Alice and Aunt Rosalie were sharing a knowing smile. "What!" Then they snapped out of it.
"Nothing," Aunt Rosalie said, "I found your size jeans and Alice just found another shirt." I could tell they were lying, but I didn't press the matter. Once we had finished shopping at all the clothing stores I tried to sneak off towards Aerie, but of course my aunts followed like loyal dogs. I tried to avoid the store, saying that there was something else that I needed down this way, but of course there wasn't really anything else. So they quickly caught the hint and literally dragged me in. I pretty much cowered in the corner while they looked around. It wasn't that I hadn't been in here before – I had, but with my friends – and it was a bit embarrassing to think of asking my aunts to help me with the sort of thing I needed.
I decided to hide out in one of the stalls until my aunts left, but of course they called my cell phone. And it rang loudly. Aunt Alice barged into my dressing room holding three of the cutest bras that I have ever seen. But would probably never even go near. Again I had underestimated my aunts, who obviously knew what I would like and wouldn't. "Do you like them?" Aunt Alice asked me, eyes bright and hectic. I nodded and she trotted off to go pay for them. Which left me with Aunt Rosalie.
I came out of the stall and sighed, sitting on the floor. Aunt Rosalie came to sit next to me, surprisingly enough. We didn't speak, nobody needed to for that matter, she just held me until Aunt Alice deemed us finished with our shopping trip. My cheeks were slightly reddened when we walked out of Aerie, more so when I saw Jacob standing right outside. Aunt Rosalie came to stand in front of me, as if to tell Jacob he wasn't wanted. And he probably wasn't to everyone else. But I could probably forgive him. Not like anyone would give me the chance, though. Jacob tried to peak over Rosalie after she had walked off to come stand next to me again and I looked back at him. Just because I could forgive Jacob didn't mean that I wasn't completely pissed with him, so I let just a touch of anger remain in my stare.
Jacob took the hint that I would need time to myself, so he left. Please don't turn around. Don't turn around. I begged him in my head, seeing as though I was still staring at him and my carefully constructed mask had come crashing down the moment he had turned away. Thankfully he didn't, but that didn't make it any less painful. We all drove home in silence, just enjoying the time alone.
The next day after school I wasn't surprised to see Dad's Volvo outside. I quickly got in and smiled brightly, glad for the time alone. It seemed as though he didn't have very much time for me anymore, but I knew that wasn't the case. He too was pretending to be in high school, but this was my first time. "How was school?" Dad asked me, his voice slightly strained as he stared out the windshield.
I sighed, slightly embarrassed. "Good for the most part. My algebra teacher was horrible to me, again." Dad let out a low pitched growl that had always made me sort of freaked out. "Sheesh! You don't have to get upset about it!" I mumbled.
This time it was Dad's turn to sigh. He turned to me, a grim smile set in place. "Not you sweetheart. Jacob." At this my heart rate picked up and I was sure Dad would detect the movement. Dad tensed for a moment before a quick intake of breath.
And then we were speeding down the road.
My hands immediately gripped the seat in slight fear. "What's wrong!" Dad just grunted in reply and kept roughly the same speed. It took just moments more before we arrived home, Aunt Alice waiting for us.
She ran up, stopping Dad with her hands when he got out of the car. "Edward, you're making a big mistake. Please, calm down!" Dad's eyes flashed toward me when he answered.
"She's too young to make that decision. I told Jacob he should have stayed in Forks, but no. He wanted to come. And look at this! Look at what's happened! He tried to take Bella away too many times, and now my own child." Dad's head was shaking and he trembled all over. His eyes had taken on a very dark tinge, and I knew he would be going off to hunt. I got out of the car and walked towards Grandpa Carlisle's house where I knew I could get something to eat. I was starved, seeing as I didn't hunt yesterday. I felt Dad's and Aunt Alice's eyes on my back, probably burning holes, but I didn't care. After a moment I took off running, enjoying the feeling of wind in my hair.
When I reached the house I walked in and straight to the fridge to search for some food. Ever since Mom was turned nobody needed to keep human food in the fridge, so the frequently kept these small animal blood packets in there for me. But this time there were none. "Gah!" I yelled to the fridge, exasperated.
"Renesmee! Hello sweetheart!" Grandma Esme called to me from the top of the stairs. She didn't like to be called 'grandma Esme' so we were on a first name basis.
"Hi Esme. Do you know where Carlisle is?" I asked; Grandpa Carlisle didn't like his title either. Quickly Esme walked down the stairs and over to me. This didn't bother me as much as it used to.
"No, I'm not sure where he is. He was here just a moment ago…do you want me to find him?" she asked, slightly worried. I couldn't be sure why though.
Shaking my head, I replied, "No, don't worry about it. I was just wondering if there was any more blood…I 'm not sure if I can make it until next week's hunting trip." Blushing slightly in embarrassment I looked back over to the opened fridge and shut it. Before I could even notice she was gone Esme was back with a packet in her hand.
We both smiled and spoke the name 'Alice' as if it was the explanation to everything. Which it frequently was. I downed the packet in a moment's time and I could feel myself already better.
"Thanks. Tell Carlisle I stopped by, I'm sure Mom is wondering where I am, if Aunt Alice hasn't already told her," I giggled, giving Esme a hug before sprinting off towards the house. I was roughly halfway there before I saw a shadow move in the corner of my eye. I knew who it was and I took a defensive stance, arms over chest, feet spread slightly apart.
"What do you want Jacob."
He stepped out from behind the shadows – I took notice how often he did this – and walked slowly towards me, stopping barely close enough for me to hear. "Hear me out Renesmee, before your dad comes to beat me up. I'm sorry. Really sorry. I shouldn't have acted the way I did, but I'm just so worried about losing you. That's no excuse and I know it doesn't really explain anything at all, but it will. In time."
A few tears escaped from my eyes. "You're not a dog to me Jake. You've got to understand that. What I did was probably more reckless than anything that you could do, so I'll be the one to say sorry. And if you don't leave in about forty five seconds, Dad is going to kill you." Jacob grunted and quickly ran back into the shadows, but only to emerge again as a wolf. He walked up to me slowly and put his head in my hands. I stroked his nose for a moment before letting him go, knowing Dad would be there any moment.
Instead of running home, I walked at human pace. I needed time to think, get my story straight before I was bombarded with questions at home. They would come, and nothing would stop it. Thank god it was Friday, or else I would have another absence tomorrow. Tonight I wouldn't be getting a lot of sleep. When I stepped in the front door nobody was there, yelling or screaming at me. It was quiet. And I was scared. Slowly I walked back towards my room, ready at a moment's notice to open up a can of kick ass on anyone who tried to sneak up on me. But nobody did.
I was in my room faster than you could say 'goodnight'. Back to the door, chest heaving as I tried to get oxygen into my lungs, unsuccessfully of course. But then it was as if I didn't need oxygen to keep me alive. My room had flowers, roses to be exact, everywhere. And if that wasn't cool enough, they were white. My favorite. I knew it was Jacob who had done this, and I wasn't sure who had allowed him. Before I came up with the answer. "Thanks Aunt Alice." I got up off the floor and was extremely careful not to step on any of the vases with roses in them. And trust me, that was hard! I walked over to my stereo and hit play, knowing that it was already preset to my favorite song. It always played that song, no matter what CD I put in first. The song was My Vampire Heart by Tim McRae, and although it's a pretty sad song, there was beauty within those words.
When the first few lines of music sailed out of the speakers, only then did I go and lay down on my bed, just letting the smell of roses intoxicate my senses. "I broke someone's heart again. Someone you know," I mumbled the words along with the soundtrack. "Here we are, in the darkest place. To keep from forgetting, I remember your face. And I wonder when we can accost which is sweeter if all is lost. So I curse you. My vampire, heart. For letting me love you, love you." It was true. I resented the fact that I had a crush on Jacob, but not Jacob himself. At least I hadn't until yesterday.
My eyes, which had been closed a moment before, opened to stare at the ceiling of my room. I reached down to pull up the covers and snuggled under them, less than content but happy. And that's how I fell asleep, surrounded in roses and with my favorite song playing.
He was leaving. "Jacob!" I called, but I was stuck. Not in a dreamer's run or anything, but actually stuck, and within moments the warm mud had risen up to my chest. In fact it was blistering hot. But I didn't take note of this, just of Jacob's retreating form. "Jacob! Please! Don't leave me!" I called to him in a panic. But he didn't turn around. And before I could drown I woke up, calling out his name. I sat straight up, eyes wide, sweat covering my body like a blanket, and my actual blanket twisted around my feet. And then I started to cry.
My body curled up involuntarily and my head buried itself in my hands, now hot with tears. "Jacob," I sobbed, "Jake."
Something touched my hair.
"GAH!" I screamed through the tears, jumping up from the bed and going across the room in moments. My fists were up and ready to take on whatever had touched me and I was calculating attacks. It couldn't come at me from behind; my back was up against the wall. I had shut my eyes in an attempt to heighten my other senses, but I now opened them, finding no movement what so ever. Did I imagine that? No; I could see the figure still on my bed.
"Nessie?"
My posture returned to a form of tense relaxation. "Renesmee. Get out Jacob." I walked back over to my bed and climbed in, trying with all my might to shove Jacob out. But as I've stated before, he's a rock; I couldn't get him to budge one inch.
A small laugh made his body tremble and that fueled my internal fire just that much more. "You can't move me even if you wanted to Renesmee. Can I please talk to you?"
"No," I grunted, the effort I used to push him gone now. "Mom and Dad are going to come in here and open up a can of whoop ass on you. Just so you know."
Again Jacob laughed. "Alice is holding them hostage. They're pretty mad, I know. But I needed time to talk to you. And Alice is talking to your parents about…something," he said, catching himself before the end and finishing lamely. I sat down on the bed with a plop and folded my arms over my chest, pulling the tank top I had on just a bit higher.
"Just because you have to talk doesn't mean I'll listen."
"You'll listen."
I had high doubts about this; though I was secretly thrilled Jacob had broken into my room just to talk to me, it was high on my annoyance scale. And Jacob already had one strike in the game; I wasn't sure if he could tell me what he had to say without getting the other two. Rolling over away from where Jacob was sitting I made sure to pull my covers up almost over my head. "Go ahead and start talking, you might as well save your breath though."
I felt Jacob lean back, so his back was to my headboard. "Nessie, you're killing me!" This time I let the name thing slide. It wouldn't matter if I wasn't listening. When I didn't respond, Jacob continued. "I'm sorry I've been such a jerk. I sort of got out what I wanted outside, but you've got to listen to me. I. Am. Sorry. I lov…Well you're my best friend. And it would really suck if I couldn't have you around anymore."
I sat up, curiosity obvious on my face. "What did you just say?"
Jacob tensed. "It would really suck if I couldn't have you around anymore?"
"No, before that."
"I am sorry?"
"Jacob!"
I stood up on the bed, making myself taller than Jacob, and glared down at him. "What did you say!" I growled, irritated instead of curious. Jacob shook his head. And again I snapped. Grabbing a pillow and blanket I stumbled off the bed, knocking over a few vases in the process, and headed toward my bedroom door. I heard Jacob scramble up behind me.
"Where are you going?"
I whirled around, face hot with almost blind rage. "TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH!" God, we sound like an old married couple. We won't be an old married couple if he keeps this up, the small voice in my head reminded me, much to my dismay. STFU! I yelled back, again stopping when I realized I was talking to myself. Again. I sighed, thinking of just how much I had been doing that lately. I padded out to the couch and made myself almost a nest with all the blankets I curled around myself. It was colder out here than it was in my room.
"Stupid wolves…meanie…tell me what he said," I grumbled aimlessly, just speaking my mind aloud. This time I had the blankets over my head, all curled up in a circular ball. Then the blankets shifted, though I hadn't moved. "Stop it Jacob!" I half whispered, half yelled at him. I could tell it was Jacob – the blankets got very hot all of a sudden. I thrashed about, trying to make sure Jacob couldn't get a hold me of, but I only succeeded in getting the blankets off my body, which left me cold and shivering. I stared up at Jacob, resentment still slight in my eyes.
"Renesmee," he whispered, eyes wide as he picked me up and cuddled me to him, every chill in my body chased off. I pulled back, staring at him in the eyes.
My body trembled as the cold air nipped at my face. "Please tell me Jacob."
His face inched closer with each moment and each time my heart beat just that much faster. "I love you," he whispered before pressing his lips lightly to mine.
Kissing Jacob was everything I could have imagined and more all at the same time. His lips seemed to press harder against mine with every tick of the clock behind me, but they never passed a light, feathery touch. After a moment Jacob picked me up and set me on the couch so he didn't have to reach as far down – we were very different heights. I was the one that broke away first, though, feeling self conscious. Jacob looked at me, letting me breathe for a moment before trying to kiss me again.
"Wait Jacob," I had to mumble around his lips, and Jacob groaned in frustration. I blushed, feeling sort of bad of what I was about to bring up.
"Sorry, I'm all ears. What's wrong?" He tilted my head up so I had to look him in the eyes.
I stumbled around on words for a moment before getting them straight. "This isn't some guilt trip is it? Just to make me feel better?" The spark that had adorned Jacob's eyes dulled as he realized what I was saying.
He took my face in his hands, frustration because of my words evident in his eyes. This is what had replaced the spark. "Don't you ever think that. Ever. I know it's sort of hard to explain right now, but you have to trust me. I love you. I'll always love you. Always." Very, very slowly I nodded. It was hard to doubt him the way he was looking. I had let my head fall back down and Jacob picked it back up, giving me a hard glare. "Really, you've got to trust me. Even if you don't feel the same way, even if you never want to see me again, I love you." Tears now slowly started streaming down my face. Jacob's eyes softened while he brushed them away.
"What would I do without you Jacob Black?" I asked after a moment my crying was finished. We were curled up on the couch now, seeing as I didn't think I'd be able to sleep. One of the blankets was pulled over top of both of us, making the space under the blanket hotter until I was sweating. The TV was turned on to the movie Pride and Prejudice, which happened to be my favorite as well.
Jacob brushed my hair away from my face and gave me a kiss on the forehead before replying, "I'm not sure. Possibly die?" We both laughed at that notion seeing as neither could age. I wanted to kiss Jacob back, but of course I was way too comfortable to move now, so I settled for giving him a small kiss on the shoulder. I felt him tense up and I looked up, eyes wide with fear at what I had done. Jacob was looking down at me, teeth mashed together and grinding against one another.
"I-I'm sorry," I stuttered, shifting slightly so that I had put some distance in between ourselves. I didn't get far before Jacob pulled me back, giving me a hard kiss, much different than the one we shared moments before.
This kiss was much shorter – we both needed to breathe – and Jacob spoke a moment after. "What the hell was that kid?" I could feel how frantic my eyes were and tried to calm them down, but failed miserably.
"Me…giving you a kiss?" I responded, but it sounded more like a question than a statement of fact. Jacob responded with a loud, booming laugh before returning his attention back to me.
"You are just so innocent. I love you."
I giggled thinking about that before responding, "Yeah. I am innocent," and then gave Jacob a long kiss, barely even touching his lips. Jacob pulled me back around and slowly I fell asleep.