Experiment: Wolowitz, The Next Generation
by: Melissa Andres
This is my first fanfiction. Please feel free to read and review. I will respect any comments and/or suggestions. Thank you.
**Disclaimer: This is fanfiction only. I do not own any of these characters and have no knowledge of any future similar episodes.
Chapter One
"Would you like another piece of pizza, Bernadette?" Leonard asks.
"Oh, no thanks. I've had my fill, plus, mushrooms haven't really agreed with me lately." Bernadette makes a face as she pets her growing belly.
Penny lowers the lid on the cardboard pizza box. "I'm sorry to hear that. Is anything else bothering you? Any problems?" She licks her fingers.
"No, not really. I get a little emotional now and then but nothing major." Bernadette cuts her eyes at Howard, as if challenging him to say something. Howard remains silent but as Bernie turns her head, he looks at Raj, pokes out his bottom lip and runs his fingers down his cheeks – imitating someone crying. Raj smiles. Bernadette now looks angry.
"You know, it's so weird that someone in our group of friends is going to have a baby. Sometimes I still can't believe that some of us are married." Penny starts gathering plates and napkins.
"I know, right?" Leonard chews on a piece of pizza.
"Yes, we are all growing up so fast." Sheldon looks around but stays glued to his spot.
"You? Growing up fast?" Raj laughs. "Don't be hilarious."
"Yes, me. We've had coitus after just mere years into our relationship, isn't that right, Amy?"
Amy sighs. "Yes, Sheldon." She rises from the couch and takes the pizza boxes and dishes into the kitchen.
Penny shakes her head. "Leonard and I would love to babysit for you sometime, you know, if you get stressed out or you just want a date night."
Leonard grins. "Absolutely."
"Seriously?" Bernadette is elated. "We would love that. She squeezes Howard's hand.
"What a great offer. Thank you so much," he says.
"Have you really thought about how a baby is going to affect your marriage, your social lives, and your workaday worlds?" Amy returns to the couch, wriggling between Sheldon and Bernadette.
"Well, yes. I think it will be wonderful." Bernadette looks at Howard, wrinkling her nose with a playful coo.
"There will be some adjustments, sure, but we'll, umm, adjust," Howard says.
Sheldon cocks his head to the side and laughs heartily. "Well said, for someone of such limited intelligence." He leans toward Amy, lowering his voice. "I worry about Wolowitz, The Next Generation."
"I have been studying numerous baby books. Many couples who have conceived become closer but many more fall prey to jealousies, financial woes and relationship troubles." Raj nods as he looks at the expectant couple only to be met with blank stares. "It's true, studies have been done." He shrugs when no one responds.
"I do believe that is a valid hypothesis, Raj. Howard and Bernadette, I would venture to proclaim our willingness to babysit your child as well," Amy announces.
"'Our'?" Sheldon questions in a loud, squeaky voice. "What do you mean 'our willingness to babysit'?"
"Sheldon, lest you forget, we are a couple and babysitting others' offspring is something couples do."
"I think not."
"I think yes."
Sheldon and Amy begin to bicker.
Leonard holds up a hand. "Don't you think this should be up to Howard and Bernadette? After all, it is their baby."
"Exactly." Sheldon sticks his tongue out at Amy. "You don't want us to babysit, do you?" He shakes his head behind Amy's back.
Howard and Bernadette look at one another, exchanging knowing glances. They say, "No," in unison.
"You couldn't even decide on buying a turtle together. Why would we lend you our child?" Howard laughs and all the others follow suit.
"Besides Sheldon, we know how much you hate germs," Bernadette says.
"And a baby would definitely interfere with your schedule," Leonard adds.
"Can you just picture Sheldon and Amy with a baby?" Penny laughs and the laughter vibrates around the circle again. Even Sheldon laughs.
Amy remains silent; a long, sorrowful look on her face; the others are oblivious.
"So, have you thought of any names yet?" Raj asks.
Sheldon waves his hand into the air. "I vote for Sheldon. Raise your hand if you vote for the name Sheldon."
No one raises a hand.
"But what if the baby is a girl?" Leonard asks. "They can't name a girl Sheldon."
Sheldon leans forward, placing his chin in the palm of his hand. "Sheldonette. Yes. Sheldonette." He raises his hand again. "I vote for Sheldonette. Raise your hand if you vote for the name Sheldonette."
No one raises a hand.
Sheldon makes one of his famous faces. "Aww, man."
"You're ridiculous," Howard snorts.
"Sarcasm?" Sheldon raises an eyebrow.
Raj sits up straighter on the floor. "I've got several baby name books at home that I've highlighted and dog-earred my favorite names in. I can bring them over to you, if you'd like?"
"Okay, sure, Raj," Bernadette says but not very enthusiastically.
"So, what, like Na or Udu or Daka?" Howard asks.
"That is so racist. You are so racist. I did not choose any of those names for your little bundle of joy." Raj places his hands on Bernadette's belly. "Oh, the baby is kicking. Everyone come feel."
The gang gathers around to feel for themselves.
Amy Farrah Fowler stays where she is, still brooding over the thoughts of the group. Why would they think it so comical for her to take care of a tiny baby?