Riku watched. He watched the horizon as he always did. Alone, without anyone, he watched for nothing as he always did.
One knee was propped up, being used as a placeholder for his elbow, while the other was hanging over the water below. Every day, it was the same island, the same pier, the same horizon, and yet he was compelled to watch. He felt the need to leave the company of his family and friends and watch.
He didn't know why, himself, but he came. He came and watched. He left everyone and everything, and came to the same pier, on the same island, and watched for nothing.
His eyes, a hue of emerald green, scanned the horizon once more before they closed. He sighed and brought one of his hands to run through his hair.
"Found you!"
Riku's eyes opened. He recognized the voice; of course he would recognize that voice. He sighed as he heard Sora walk down the pier, stopping just before him.
Sora plopped on his back with his feet closest to the island and head closest to the water. He looked to the side, trying to read Riku's face. "So is this where you go all the time?"
Riku said nothing. He usually said nothing. If he did ever speak, it was usually in a dismissive tone. There was no point pretending he enjoyed conversations, especially not with Sora. He tolerated Sora for the same reason he tolerated Kairi. The three of them were inseparable since pre-school.
But years had passed since then, Riku changed. He didn't want to spend time with them anymore, and it wasn't out of spite or disrespect. He just wanted to be alone.
He closed his eyes and sighed.
But wherever he went, someone was always trying to talk to him, get him to "open up" to them. He'd shut them down, dismiss them, but when it came to his childhood friends, he was softer in telling them to leave him alone.
He opened his emerald eyes and scanned the horizon.
What was he looking for?
He frowned at the thought. Everything in life was complicated. Everything was a mystery, but was it a mystery needing to be solved? Or something to be awed, but not questioned? Riku mulled the thoughts over in his head, attempting to figure out life's complicated questions. Every question was complicated, Riku knew; there was never one answer.
"Hey Riku, do you masturbate?"
The silver haired teen's face visibly twitched as he looked over to his side.
"Hey, just a question," Sora put his hands behind his head. "No need to give me a death glare, 'Ku."
Riku sighed, "Why are you asking me that?"
"Because I wanna know,"
Riku felt slightly uncomfortable as he shrugged.
"Well, we were talking about it earlier. See, Ventus was trying to convince us he didn't jack off," Sora explained. "So I told him, the only reason a a guy wouldn't masturbate is because he doesn't have arms."
Riku frowned, "He might be asexual."
"Well, okay, yeah," Sora agreed. "An asexual guy probably won't, but Ventus is not asexual." He chuckled to himself, "Trust me, I would know."
"And how would," Riku began before shaking his head. "Forget it, I don't wanna know."
Sora frowned. He almost had a conversation there. "So?"
"So?"
"Do you?"
"What do you think?"
"I think yes," Sora admitted. After a small silence, the brunet chuckled. "Well, if you're not gonna deny it... So, who do you think about when you do?"
The silver haired teen sighed and ignored the question.
A silence fell on the two again, and Sora chuckled. He brought his hand up and lightly pressed it against Riku's arm.
"Hm?"
"Remember?" Sora grinned as his fingers only slightly moved against the skin. "When we were young, I'd get scared really easy, and Tidus and Roxas always used to scare me, so you would tell me to hold onto your arm if I was ever worried about anything."
Riku did remember, but he said nothing. He looked away and back at the horizon.
"Are you going to ask me what I'm worried about?"
"No."
"Oh." Sora pulled his hand back and put it behind his head, "Okay."
Riku already knew the answer. 'I'm worried about you, Riku'. He'd heard too many people from the islands say it to him in the past couple of months. He had more tolerance for Sora and Kairi, but he found himself reaching the end of his patience. Riku brought his hanging foot up and stood up.
"Where we going?" Sora got up as well.
"Leave me alone," he sighed and turned around. He could hear Sora's footsteps behind him and it was starting to piss him off. Riku decided to ignore it: as persistent as Sora was, he also got bored very quickly. It was just a matter of waiting it out.
And Riku was good at waiting. He moved through the trail in the forest, the same trail Riku and Sora used to 'Explore' together.
"Hey Riku,"
The silver haired teen sighed.
"Do you ever think about me when you masturbate?"
Riku stopped and glared over his shoulder. He could feel his cheeks flush slightly, "What the hell is with you and wanting to know about that, of all things?"
"Thought it might make you angry," Sora admitted with a dorky smile.
He moved a hand through his hair, "And why the fuck do you want me angry?"
"It's the only way you talk to me," Sora gave an embarrassed chuckle as he looked to his feet, like a child being scolded. "I'd rather you yell at me then ignore me, 'cause I miss talking to you."
As much as Riku wanted to pretend that he didn't care, he couldn't help but think that Sora was the biggest lovable idiot on the planet. "You have other friends."
"Well, yeah," Sora agreed with a sad smile, "But they're not you, 'Ku."
'Ku'. It was the nickname Sora made up for him, and the thought of how Sora would get mad if other people used it. Only his Sora could call him 'Ku'. Riku sighed and kept walking, hoping the brunet would leave him alone; but, as he expected, Sora's footsteps followed him like a puppy would follow a master.
They had probably walked for a good five minutes, and it was a new record for Sora staying quiet. Eventually, his urge to talk again surfaced: "You know, sometimes I think about you when I touch myself."
He stopped.
Sora paused, wondering if he could finally get a good reaction.
Riku turned around, giving an unsure look to his best friend. "Why are you telling me all this?"
"Well, I thought if you were uncomfortable telling me who you thought of when you did it, I thought I could break the ice," he grinned his signature goofy grin.
Riku frowned, "So, you think about me?"
"Yep," he nodded. "Do you think about me?"
Riku's cheeks flushed and he scratched the back of his head, "What's the point of all this? What's your goal?"
"Well, uhh," Sora blushed a bit. "Promise not to laugh!"
"I won't laugh."
"Well, I thought, maybe I could convince you to be my boyfriend," Sora grinned nervously. "You'd talk to me if we were dating, right?"
"Us? Dating?"
"Oh come on. You've never thought about it?" Sora tilted his head, "I mean, we've been cuddling since we were kids. Remember when one of us used to have a bad dream during sleep overs?" When Riku said nothing, Sora looked down at his feet for a bit, hugging his arm from behind. "Sometimes I'd pretend I'd have a nightmare so we could sleep in the same bed... You must've thought about it before, right?"
Seeing the hurt in Sora's eyes, Riku decided 'what the hell'. "I have," he admitted. He watched those big, blue eyes light up as Sora hugged him. "Doesn't mean I want to date you, though. Get off me."
"O-oh," Sora pulled away.
"Sorry," Riku whispered. "It's not you, I just want to be alone."
Sora took another step away and put his hands behind his back.
"Please, just leave me alone," but as he began walking away, Sora's footsteps followed. He sighed and kept walking along the trail that eventually led up to a cave.
"Wow, it's smaller than I remember it," Sora chuckled as Riku had to duck his head to slip in.
"Why are you still following me?" Riku gave a defeated sigh as he made his way to the back of the circular cave. He stopped and sat with his back against the cold, stone wall. He rolled his eyes when Sora sat in front of him and let silence overtake them. He knew Sora: the brunet was bound to get bored eventually.
And after an hour of nothing but sitting on the cold floor, Sora did. He looked at Riku, making eye contact, before he leaned forward, crawling over the space between them, and pushed his lips on his best friends.
Riku felt Sora's lips on him, but he didn't kiss back. The feeling of those soft lips on him made him close his eyes, but he didn't react. He almost regretted not doing so when his best friend pulled away.
Sora gave a nervous chuckle, "Bit of a crummy first kiss, but it's worth it, I think."
Riku's glanced away. "Why?"
Sora stretched his arms and leaned onto his back, "Because it kinda felt like I was kissing the wall."
"I meant," Riku sighed, "Why did you kiss me?"
"Hm, 'cause I love you." Sora saw Riku look at him and he couldn't help but grin. "I mean I like you, but it's not just a little crush or anything. I love you, Riku... so..."
"So?"
"I figure, we're probably not gonna be friends after today," Sora forced himself to smile. "So I just wanted you to be my first kiss before I lost the chance."
Riku said nothing. He uncomfortably looked away from his best friend and sighed, "You're an idiot."
"Probably," Sora agreed. "You know, it's kinda funny... when we were kids, you used to want to spend every second of every day with me; whenever I'd get a cut or a scrape, you'd kiss it better... You would hold me when I was scared. I guess you never really realise what you have until it's gone, right?" Sora then chuckled, "Well, someone as smart as you would, but not me."
"..."
"I guess that might have been why I always needed you. The teachers always said I was too dumb, that I should go down a grade... Mom and dad always yelled at me and called me the 'Stupid-one', so I was so happy that you wanted to be my best friend... I mean, I'm not surprised even you got tired of me. I know Kairi will do the same eventually."
Riku looked up. A confused frown formed on his face as he stared, absolutely boggled, at Sora.
"So, yeah, I'll leave you alone if that's what you want. I just wanted you to know that you made me happy - really happy, and I'm sorry I couldn't do the same for you." The brunet suddenly sat up and faced Riku, "Could, you do one last thing for me?"
Riku felt like saying a million things, but the question cut him off. "What's that?"
"Could you... could you kiss back this time?" He went on all fours again and leaned in, "I just, I wanna know what it's like... you know? I just, wanna know what it would have been like if I wasn't so annoying to you all the time." He suddenly smiled, "You don't have to if you don't want."
Riku knew that smile was fake, but he couldn't do anything. He couldn't say anything. Sora leaned in, pressing his lips against his one more time. The kiss was longer this time, giving him the chance to kiss back if he wanted to. And he did want to, but he didn't. He stood still as Sora's soft, pink lips pressed against his. Riku's whole body was shaking; his mind was screaming at him; with his pounding heartbeat, every cell in his body was telling him to kiss back.
But he didn't.
Sora pulled back only slightly, leaving a couple millimeters between them.
Just enough for Riku to capture those lips as his body was telling him to, but he didn't.
"I, uh," Sora gave a sad smile. "I'm not sure why you're sad all the time... I've tried to get you to talk to me about it, but maybe I'm not the person for the job, or something. I don't know." He leaned in, kissing Riku's cheek. "But I'll leave you alone now, forever."
"..."
"If that's, if that's what you want?"
Riku nodded.
Sora felt his eyes water and he blinked a couple times, forcing a smile on his face.
Riku watched his best friend begin to move away. That's all he ever did. He only watched.
Like the horizon, his best friend was going to be farther and farther every time he would see him. And he would sit there, like he did on the pier, spending all his time doing nothing, while everything around him and even him himself suffered.
"Goodbye, Riku."
His whole body was shaking, asking him to do something, to stop it, but... "Bye."
"I'd say 'see you around', but," Sora forced a chuckle as he moved away. "Bye, 'Ku-augh!"
The sound of Riku grabbing Sora's shirt echoed in the cave. His hand had clenched around the shirt, and inside he felt something cold and knew what it was. The crown necklace Sora would always wear. Riku was the one who gave it as a birthday present, when Sora was only five.
There was a small moment of silence before Riku opened his mouth to speak. "Don't," he closed his eyes.
Sora blinked for a moment before he smiled softly. "I won't." He felt himself being pulled closer and he chuckled out of nervousness. He moved to Riku's side, turning to press his back against the cold stone wall Riku was against.
The silver haired teen's grip released, but his hand still lingered over Sora's chest. He turned his head to face the brunet, "One more time, please."
The brunet grinned and leaned up, pressing their lips together. He instantly pulled back and yelped.
Riku blinked, "What? What's wrong?"
"S-sorry," Sora covered his smile with his hand. "I didn't expect you to kiss me back... you kinda scared me." The brunet looked up at Riku's blank expression and he couldn't help but laugh, "Sorry!"
"Sora..." Riku shook his head, "You really are one of a kind." He leaned over, pushing his lips on Sora's. He kissed his best friend softly, gently moving his lips on the other.
Sora felt his stomach flutter with butterflies as all he could focus was on the feeling of Riku kissing him, kissing him back. He raised a hand and pressed it against the silver haired teen's chest, using it for support as he leaned in.
Riku smiled into the kiss, darting his tongue at the lips and gaining entrance. He shouldn't have been so surprised that Sora tasted like sea-salt icecream, but he did. He began smiling, smiling so much that he broke the kiss just to chuckle.
"What are you laughing at?" Sora frowned, "Am I that bad of a kisser?"
"No, no, you're great." Riku leaned in and kissed Sora's cheek, "I'm just happy, that's all."
Sora grinned and kissed Riku's cheek in response.
The silver haired teen smiled and looked up at the ceiling of the cavern. "Sora,"
"Mhm?" the brunet asked as he slipped onto Riku's lap.
The emerald-eyed male slipped his arms around the brunet, pulling him close. He brought his knees up, squishing Sora closer to him. He wasn't sure what he was doing or why, but when his best friend put both his arms around him and nestled his head in Riku's chest, complete with that stupid smile, Riku knew he made the right choice.
Sora squeezed his best friend and grinned.
Seeing the brunet so happy, Riku smiled and closed his eyes. "I love you."
Sora blinked and looked up.
Out of curiosity, Riku opened his eyes and glanced down. He couldn't help but chuckle as he saw the dorkiest grin that had ever existed. "I take it you love me too?"
"I've always loved you, 'Ku."
"Always? Sounds like an exaggeration."
"Nuh-uh," Sora shook his head, "You can ask my mom: when I was four, I told her I wanted her to turn me into a girl so I could be your princess!"
Riku felt his cheeks burn slightly and he looked away. "Seriously?"
"Yep!" Sora chuckled and scratched the back of his head, "I just, kinda always knew that we were right for each other."
Riku smiled and kissed Sora's forehead.
"Sounds crazy, doesn't it?"
"No," Riku admitted. "I know what you mean."
"Hey Riku..."
"Yeah?"
"I'll make you happy." Sora grinned, "Trust me."
Riku smiled softly, looking into those deep, big blue eyes. "I trust you... I just hope I can do the same, for you." Riku sighed and looked away, "I don't know if I can, Soar."
"You can."
"How?"
"Well, one, just be yourself," Sora grinned and then put on a more sober expression. "And, two, just let me be the one that's there for you."
"Meaning?"
Sora chuckled, "Open up to me, Riku. That's all I want."
